He’s a liar and a cheater. And at times he’s even disrespectful and is considered a womanizer by many. To top it all off, he craves attention and is so flashy he puts Diddy to shame–but you dated him. Not only did you date him but you date many other guys like him. So ultimately, what does that say about you?
Unfortunately, the aforementioned comments are what many of us have spewed out about some of the men we’ve allowed in our lives. We’ve dogged them, complained about them, and even cried over some of their less-than-stellar ways. While some of the relationships or ‘situations’ ended quickly, others lasted way past their allotted season. And it’s all because we gave them permission to linger around longer than necessary.
This is basically what happened to me during my serial dating spell a few years ago. While I was meeting a lot of different guys from different backgrounds with diverse personalities, the ones I allowed to overstay their welcome seemed to possess many of the same traits. They were loud, flashy, and had lots of women. I know, it really was as pathetic as it sounds. While it was happening I blamed the men for being no-good and not ready to settle down; but in hindsight I’ve had a change of heart and now point the blame, the wasted tears and excessive heartbreaks, at yours truly. As I’ve matured, I’ve realized that the men that I dated were in fact a reflection of me.
I didn’t blatantly let a man dog me. I never got called out of my name, nor did I catch any of them red-handed while cheating; but I did allow text messages to replace phone calls and late night visits to replace dates. Sooner than later, I realized that I wasn’t attracted to the guy, but instead the idea of him. His obsession with material things and using me as a ‘trophy girl’, said more about my self-esteem, than his flashy jewelry.
It’s easy to blame another person for the bad that happens in our lives. And while people are sure to disappoint you or hurt you, the number of times you allow it to happen is solely up to you. If a man is no good and you tolerate it, what does that say about you? If he lacks ambition and you keep him around, what does that say about what you accept? And seriously, if he is considered no-good by the majority of society, what can be concluded about your own values and morals?
Before dogging the man for his undesirable traits, we have to take a closer look at the type of men we attract and most importantly, those that we allow to stick around. Ultimately, who you’re letting into your life, whether they’re staying or squatting, speaks volumes about the kind of woman you are.
