I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard women say they want a “corporate thug” or have a “thug passion.” Personally, I don’t think “corporate thugs” really exist – it just seems like an oxymoron to me. However, I think I understand what they mean by it. They want a man with street sensibilities and a graduate degree. But honestly, how often do you come across a true “thug” who wears a suit to work everyday?
Now, let me preface this post by saying I have a bias against thug dudes. I admit it. I know I’m judging a book by its cover, and that’s wrong, but I’ve done it. I’ve never been attracted to the “bad boy” type. I can appreciate their “alpha dog” appeal, but I’ve never wanted to date one.
Other women, however, may like a man with some “street edge.” I get it. Most women are attracted to men who seem like they can handle themselves, and who can “handle” them too…whether it’s in the form of physical protection or sexual prowess. I think maybe when I was in my early 20’s, you could have convinced me that “street” was hot in some way; at that age, attraction and “excitement” were more important than say…a credit score. But now, they just look silly to me.
Maybe “edge” and “thug” are a bit different. I think all men should be able to handle themselves and have some street smarts or common sense, not just “hood” dudes or self-proclaimed bad boys. You don’t have to have a lot of muscles to be a “real” man. Being a bad boy shouldn’t make you attractive or edgy, yet I find a lot of women gravitate towards men who look more like felons than professors. He has to be a “soldier.” I know women subconsciously test men for strength, leadership abilities and overall dominance; it’s the “survival of the fittest” principle at its core. We don’t want a man we can walk all over who can’t stand up for himself, because if he can’t stand up to us, how can he protect us? Alpha male. Again, I get it.
But does “thuggery” equal strength? Do muscles automatically make you an alpha male? Are educated men who have financial security less attractive because they can crush you with their intellect and their wallet rather than with their fists?
I don’t know if it’s just me but most men I’ve met who appear to be “bad boys” are not the best guys to date. I once read that even though a woman may logically know these types are a bad choice, biologically and culturally they’ve been bred through thousands of years of evolution to respond positively to dominant, alpha male traits on a primal, unthinking level. I think this is totally true because if we were to use our right mind, the Beta Male would seem way more attractive to us.
The Beta Male is the safe one: responsible, maybe not as physically dominating, but is intelligent and reliable. Unfortunately, he seems to be our second choice. The nerdy doctor is no where near as fine as Pookie, so we overlook him hoping that we can tame the drug dealer instead. We pass over an “Obama” type because he doesn’t possess the “street” or “thug” traits we seek. I’m not saying all women do this, but for those who do, I’m wondering why?
As grown women, shouldn’t we want the man who can stimulate us mentally and not just physically? Who could probably walk into a bank armed with a good credit score and down payment for a house and who has a healthy portfolio and 401K? I’m not talking about someone you simply have sex with and keep as your dirty little secret. Is it hot to be booed up with a guy who can probably fight, but can’t walk into a job interview and nail it? Don’t get me wrong, there are corporate men out there who can rock a suit just as well as some jeans and Timbs swag on the weekend. I’m not talking about them. I like versatile men just as much as the next woman. But Pookie n’em get no play from me.
Again, I know I may be wrong in my assessment, and I can admit when I’m being narrow-minded…but is it just me? I know I may catch hell for this post, but somebody enlighten me – what am I missing?
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