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From YourTango

Some women are convinced that 30 is the new 20 — they put theirlove lives on the back burner as they climb the corporate ladder, assuming that they have plenty of time to settle down. Then, years later, they realize that they haven’t found a partner. Don’t let this happen to you!

Don’t Live Your Love Life According To This Foolish Belief

The fact that we are living longer, staying healthier and looking younger perpetuates the myth that 30 is the new 20. While this may be true in many areas of life, applying it to your love life is foolish; it hurts more than it helps you. Behind this is the notion that a woman can have it all — she can focus on building her career, then when she decides she wants love, she’ll surely have that too.

The reality behind this notion is that love doesn’t just happen when you want it. Love happens when you’re ready for it. If you’ve been focused on your career, or having casual encounters, chances are you haven’t truly prepared yourself for the possibility of love. If this is the case, you’ll find yourself attracting and dating men who aren’t right for you, as well as spending time in the wrong relationships. Later in this article, we’ll talk about ways to prepare yourself and how to choose wisely. But first, here’s what happened when I lived my life thinking 30 was the new 20.

What Happened When I Believed 30 Was The New 20

I’m a firm believer that everything happens for our greater good. The questionable choices I made early on eventually led me to my Mr. Wonderful when I was in my early 40s. I love him dearly and love our life together, but at the same time I’m only human. On occasion, I wonder what might have been if I’d known differently when I was in my 20s and 30s. Here’s my story:

When I was in my 20s and mid 30s, I thought time was on my side, not realizing the consequences of focusing on my career at the expense of my love life. I truly believed I could have it all, but that I didn’t have to work for it all at once. I threw myself into my career and was promoted to positions of greater responsibility. In my jobs, I knew what to do and how to do things. The more I focused, the more successful I became. Focusing my attention and energy on my professional life made me feel good about myself.

When it came to love, though, it was a different story. True love eluded me because my approach was by trial and error. I honestly didn’t know what to do, and unintentionally found myself with men I shouldn’t have been with, and in relationships that didn’t progress. This reactive approach to my love life brought me disappointment mixed with lukewarm results. Each choice seemed to take me further away from love, making me feel badly about myself. In the end, the sum of each choice led me to marry later in life.

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