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So your relationship has ended, and you are preparing to start another chapter in your dating life. You are ready to mix and mingle, or take some time for yourself away from the dating scene; either way, you are ready to begin anew with this aspect of your life as a new single person. But then you hear through the grapevine that your ex has moved on and he (or she) is happier than ever…but you’re still single! What do you do when your former mate has moved on and you haven’t? How does this make you feel? Are you upset, genuinely happy for them, or do you not care one way or the other? When you find out that your former mate has moved on, it is best to celebrate his/her new relationship, even if you are still single. I know what you’re thinking: Why should I do this? You should be happy that your ex has moved on and you’re still single for several reasons.  One reason being that your former mate served a purpose in your life for your growth and theirs. Once the relationship has ended, you should have learned life lessons from that relationship that you can pass on to someone else, and that you can take with you for your next relationship. Many times, when a relationship has ended, we are often so engulfed in the relationship ending that we don’t take the time to reflect on how it made us better people when we should. Be happy that your former mate came into your life, and be happy that they are gone from it as well. You’ve lived and learned.  Another reason to celebrate your ex’s new relationship is the fact that you helped make him/her a better person for their current and possibly future mates.

I know this may feel like a slight slap in the face as you recall all of the hard work you put into someone, or the time you spent doing things for them; but the reality of the situation is that you chose to do what you wanted with and for this person, and believe it or not, it had some impact on them that will remain with them for the rest of their lives. So celebrate the fact that you helped make someone a better person for themselves and for someone else. The next reason you should be happy for your ex and their new relationship is because when you open your heart and spirit to let happiness out, that same happiness returns to you. And while you may be hurt and feeling vulnerable because you are still single, take a moment to find happiness within yourself in knowing that this relationship ended for a reason that will benefit you in the long run.

Not only should you be happy for your ex and their new relationship, but you should also be happy for their new mate. Why should you be happy for their new mate? Because you know they have a chance to contribute to making your ex a better person, and they have a chance to experience the things you once did with your former mate. I know that this is may be yet another slight slap in the face (especially depending on the way the relationship ended), but being happy for their new love interest shows that you are over them and their new mate will be happiest with them. Now if you are not quite over a past love, I suggest you take some time for yourself and reflect on the relationship, your past mate, and why you are still holding on. Be honest with yourself because the feelings you are holding on to can hinder your personal happiness…and nothing or no one, is worth your personal happiness. Celebrating your ex’s new relationship while you’re still single is not any easy thing to do, but it is something that can and should be done. People enter your life for a reason, and as just as soon as they enter your life, some of these people will leave as well. Relish in the lessons learned and be thankful that you met your past love for they made you a better person, and you made them a better person as well. And even if you can’t celebrate their new relationship, celebrate your life and the new possibilities of being a single individual.

Have you celebrated an ex’s new relationship and been happy for them while you were single? Was it hard for you to do?


Liz Lampkin the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin.

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