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Sometimes, I wish I could be a fly on the wall when women are having their most interesting conversations about men.  Well, as a gesture of good faith, I can let women become the fly listening in on what men might discuss when they aren’t around.

I can’t tell all the secrets, but I’ll let you in on one that has to do with money and dating.

I’ve heard more than one guy state that part of the reason he may choose not to date is because of the intense financial pressure of dating.  In the worst case scenario, there’s the woman who expects the man to be the out of control baller, yanking out $200 or $300 dollars for a trip to dinner or the nightclub with $10 drinks.
 In many cases, he can’t be plainly dressed, so there is also the pressure of having to keep an expensive wardrobe or a fancy car.  It’s hard to pretend to be economically invincible in a tough economy that has always been hard on black men.

For the guys who live for the chase, this might simply be the cost of doing business.  They will max out the credit cards, spend every penny and go deep in debt in order to maintain “the image.” But for guys who are financially sensible, the need to blow your stash for a date or two can make the difference between saying hello to the beautiful woman in the nice dress or just walking in the other direction.  The idea that a woman can diss you to her friends because your credit card was declined or devalue you as a man because your clothes are not from the nicest store in town might make a man wonder if his love interest is concerned with anything substantive.

One way to combat this problem might be to help a man get over the economic pressure of dating.  It doesn’t mean that you let go of your expectations.  Instead, you let him know that you care more about being with him than about being with his wallet.  The sexiest thing a woman can do is call up the guy she’s been dating and offer to take him to dinner and a movie.  This will set you apart from all the women who seem to see dating as a romantic soup kitchen.  As a man, I like to believe that I am worth more than a free meal.

Again, I reiterate that it’s important to keep standards.  You don’t have to be one of those women who pays all the bills while her man sits at home in his “drawz” playing Xbox all day.  But by presenting yourself as a woman who is understanding and respectful of his vulnerabilities in a difficult world, you can get a guy who holds you in a light which lies above all others.
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