If getting your partner to have sex feels like an act of tug-of-war, you may both be struggling with sexual desire discrepancy, or differing sex drives. It occurs when one partner desires sex more frequently or intensely than the other. Now, don’t panic. There are ways that you both can work together to resolve the issue and it’s a pretty common challenge that many couples encounter, according to professional therapist Katie Manser.
In an article for Allure published Feb. 14, Manser explained that many couples experience a sex drive “mismatch” throughout their relationship due to our libidos fluctuating daily. Those sexual energy dips become even more of a challenge if your partner is stressed out, having self-esteem issues or possibly taking medication that can disrupt their sex drive, but it shouldn’t be the straw that breaks your entire relationship.
“Many couples fear sexual desire discrepancy as if it’s the grim reaper for their relationship,” Manser says. “Yet, in my experience, rare is the relationship that has two people perfectly synced with their sexual arousal and desire.”
