Dating experts are sounding the alarm about a toxic trend in the dating world known as “sledging.” This term refers to individuals who keep someone in a dead-end relationship through the holiday season, only to dump them once the New Year begins. According to Daily Star, this behavior is becoming increasingly common as the holidays approach among Gen Z singles.
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Why do people commit sledging?
With Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the New Year just around the corner, singles may find themselves at a higher risk of encountering a “sledger.” A recent study by Happn, a popular dating app, shed light on why some people are more likely to engage in this behavior during the holiday season. One of the main reasons is that many sledgers seek companionship to stave off loneliness during a time when family and friends typically come together. For some, the holidays are a convenient excuse to have someone to be with, even if the relationship isn’t going anywhere long-term.
The reasons people engage in sledging are varied, but according to Happn, some of the most common motivations include:
- 60% of people want someone to have sex with during the holiday season.
- 50% are looking for someone to cuddle with when the weather gets cold.
- 40% want to avoid feeling lonely during a time that’s often associated with togetherness.
- 30% use the relationship as a way to avoid answering awkward questions about being single from family and friends.
- 20% simply want a “plus one” to bring to Christmas and New Year’s parties.
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The phenomenon of sledging is not just a fleeting holiday trend, but a calculated dating strategy for some daters.
Happn, which polled 600 daters aged 18 to 25, found some alarming statistics about this behavior. According to the study, 15% of Zoomers—a generation known for their digital savviness—admit to regularly stringing along seasonal partners for reasons that serve their own interests. For many, these “holiday relationships” provide temporary sex, companionship, or even a buffer against the uncomfortable questions about their single status that come from family members during the holidays.
Breaking the study down further, the results show that 75% of sledgers decide to end the relationship in November, carefully timing their breakup to coincide with the post-Thanksgiving and pre-New Year’s period. This allows them to maintain the illusion of a stable relationship throughout the holiday season. Even more surprising, 25% of sledgers are already planning their exit as early as August, well before the holidays even arrive. These individuals may have already secured their “holiday fling” and have planned to break things off after Christmas, ensuring they don’t have to endure the awkwardness of being single at family gatherings.
The motivations behind this behavior reflect a broader trend of self-interest, where the sledger’s priority is comfort and convenience—using someone for temporary relief from loneliness, societal pressures, or holiday expectations, without any intention of committing long-term. For those on the receiving end, this can be a painful and confusing experience, as they are often left heartbroken or caught off guard when the breakup inevitably occurs, according to the Happn study.
“People shouldn’t be treated this way in what should be a loving and trusting relationship,” Claire Rénier, a representative from Happn, told Daily Star. “Young people should find more authentic connections with people with shared locations and hobbies,” she advised. “This way they can find partners that are genuinely interested in them, and sustain a relationship to last beyond just the winter.”
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There is nothing wrong with being single.
According to writer, Olivia Petter, sledging is harmful not only to the person on the receiving end but also reinforces the harmful idea that there is something wrong with being single. It perpetuates the notion that happiness is unattainable unless you’re in a relationship, creating unnecessary pressure to be paired up during the holidays—even if it’s just for convenience.
“Being happily single is not just possible, it’s vital – for our sense of self, our confidence, and also, ironically, for our future relationship prospects,” Petter wrote in an article for the Independent published Nov. 23. “Seeing it any other way will only hold us back and drive us towards making unhealthy romantic choices.”
She added, “I fear that app culture has normalized a base level of cruelty in dating. Not interested in someone? Ghost them and swipe again. Like this person but prefer someone else? You don’t even need to tell them. Enjoy feeling like you’re in a relationship but don’t want to commit? You can be in a situationship.”
As the holiday season approaches, it’s crucial for singles to stay aware of the trend of sledging and exercise caution when entering new relationships. Open and honest communication is key. Make sure to discuss your needs and expectations with your partner early on. If it becomes clear that your romantic goals don’t align, it’s important to have a mutual exit strategy. This way, both of you can part ways with respect and understanding, leaving the relationship on amicable terms rather than feeling hurt or disappointed. Setting clear boundaries and intentions ensures that no one is left feeling strung along or misled and that both parties can move forward with clarity and peace of mind.
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