In Episode 10 of Listen To Black Women, hosts Lore’l and singer-songwriter Elle Varner speak with Eboni K. Williams and Melyssa Ford about how the dating game has changed for modern women.

“This is the first time in history in which women have found themselves on equal footing with men when it comes to finances. There’s nothing to compare it to because it didn’t exist,” says media personality and actress Melyssa Ford.

“This is the first time ever where women have the wide berth to really investigate what their wants and needs are—as an individual and not a monolith,” Ford adds.

Lawyer and TV host Eboni K. Williams addresses the changing attitudes toward dating and relationships as opportunities have opened up.

“I think most women, especially Black women, do desire a nuclear family, (but) they are not so desirous of it that they are willing to do it under any and all circumstances, as the generation previous to them had to do,” says Williams.

“A generation ago, women had to ride with it because they did not have a stream of independent income that allowed them the exit strategy that is available to Black women today,” she adds.

Williams is fully aware that she embodies what Dr. Iyanla Vanzant calls “men in skirts,” or women who lead with masculine energy.

“I look as feminine as possible because I am trying to visually overcompensate for what I know is a default masculine posture that I walk through the world with every day,” Williams explains. “But most of the women I know, especially the Black women, we would love if we didn’t have to. What most people don’t realize is that most masculine women are masculine by mandate and not by choice. We’re masculine because we have been made to be.”

Catch new episodes of Listen To Black Women every Monday on MADAMENOIRE.


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