*Editor’s Note* Consciously Lisa is our Conscious Parenting Guide…Enjoy!
I believe gratitude must be taught. Full stop. It is not an innate feeling children understand without guidance, so I’ve created a much-needed resource to ensure we teach with love and patience.
When I was a child, I remember hearing, on more than one occasion, that I was ungrateful. I learned early on that if I were to get along with my parents, I could never complain and that I had to show appreciation for whatever they did for me. As two hard-working immigrant parents, they were not wrong to expect that we should appreciate all of their efforts. Believe me, it was no easy feat feeding and housing four children. That being said, It’s important to know that telling our children they are ungrateful will not make them grateful. Shame should never be the tool we use to teach our kids how to do better.
On the contrary, we must understand that children only know what we teach them. So, if a child’s response to disappointment is one that you find socially unacceptable, the correct response is to teach them the appropriate way to respond when they are met with disappointment.
How to respond to disappointment is one life skill we should teach our children, while instilling gratitude is a separate lesson entirely and should likewise be taught on an ongoing basis.
As the holiday season approaches, it’s the perfect time to impart valuable lessons of gratitude and generosity to our children. In a world often characterized by materialism, teaching children the importance of gratitude can shape their values and cultivate a sense of empathy. Let’s explore some practical tips on how to instill gratitude and generosity in children during the holidays, focusing on creating meaningful experiences that go beyond the realm of material gifts.
How to instill a sense of gratitude in children
- Lead by Example
Children learn best through observation, and as parents or caregivers, our actions speak louder than words. Demonstrate gratitude and generosity in your own life, both during the holiday season and throughout the year. Express appreciation for the little things, whether it’s a beautiful sunset, a thoughtful gesture, or a shared family moment. When children witness these behaviors consistently, they are more likely to internalize and emulate them.
- Volunteer Together
One powerful way to teach children about generosity is by involving them in acts of service. Look for local volunteer opportunities during the holiday season, such as serving meals at a community kitchen, participating in a toy drive, or visiting a nursing home. Engaging in these activities not only exposes children to the concept of giving back but also fosters a sense of connection to the community.
Before participating, discuss with your child the purpose of the activity and the impact it can have on others. Afterward, reflect on the experience together, highlighting the positive emotions and the difference made in someone else’s life. This reflection process helps children understand the significance of their actions and encourages a lifelong commitment to generosity.
- Create a Gratitude Journal
Encourage children to keep a gratitude journal during the holiday season. Each day, have them write down three things they are thankful for. This simple practice helps shift their focus from what they lack to what they have, fostering a positive mindset. To make it more engaging, consider decorating the journal together or adding illustrations to represent each gratitude entry.
Additionally, take time as a family to share your own daily gratitudes during a designated “gratitude moment.” For us, this happens at night. Right before or after our bedtime story, we discuss three things we are grateful for. This not only reinforces the importance of acknowledging and appreciating the positive aspects of life but also strengthens the family bond through shared reflections.
- Emphasize Experiences Over Material Gifts
In a consumer-driven society, it’s easy for children to equate the holiday season with a flood of presents. Shift the emphasis from material gifts to meaningful experiences by creating family traditions. Whether it’s baking cookies together, decorating the house, or participating in a holiday-themed activity, these shared experiences create lasting memories that go beyond the transient joy of unwrapping presents.
If you make it about gifts, that’s what they will equate with the holiday season. Be intentional about making it family and togetherness.
Consider giving “experience gifts” that focus on creating memories rather than accumulating possessions. This could include tickets to a live performance, a family day at a local amusement park, or a weekend getaway. By prioritizing experiences, you teach children that the value of a gift extends far beyond its monetary worth.
- Foster a Culture of Sharing
Consider organizing a family gift exchange where each member draws a name and selects or creates a thoughtful gift for that person. This not only promotes the spirit of giving but also encourages thoughtful consideration of others’ preferences and interests.
- Teach Gratitude Through Thank-You Notes
In a world dominated by digital communication, the art of expressing gratitude through handwritten thank-you notes or thank-you drawings is a timeless and valuable skill. Encourage children to write thank-you notes for the gifts they receive, expressing genuine appreciation for the thought and effort put into selecting the gift. This practice reinforces the importance of acknowledging the kindness of others and helps children understand the reciprocal nature of gratitude.
- Create a gratitude Jar
Create a gratitude jar as a family project. Decorate a jar and place it in a central location in your home. Encourage family members, especially children, to write down moments of gratitude on small slips of paper and place them in the jar. Periodically, gather as a family to read and reflect on the collected notes. This visual representation of gratitude reinforces the practice and serves as a constant reminder of the positive aspects of life.
- Go on a Gratitude Scavenger Hunt:
Turn gratitude into a fun and interactive activity by organizing a gratitude scavenger hunt. Create a list of items or experiences for children to find and appreciate, whether it’s a beautiful leaf, a kind word, or a moment of laughter. This not only encourages mindfulness but also helps children recognize the abundance of positive elements in their surroundings.
- Share stories of gratitude:
Use storytelling as a powerful tool to convey the importance of gratitude. Share stories with moral lessons about characters who demonstrate gratitude and kindness. This could be through books, family anecdotes, or even creating fictional stories together. Discuss the characters’ actions and the positive outcomes of their gratitude, helping children internalize the value of being thankful.
- Nature Walk Reflections:
Take a nature walk as a family and encourage children to observe and appreciate the natural world around them. After the walk, sit together and discuss what they noticed, what they found beautiful, or what they are grateful for in nature. This activity fosters a connection to the environment and helps children develop an attitude of appreciation for the world outside of material possessions.
As the holiday season unfolds, seize the opportunity to impart the enduring values of gratitude and generosity to the young minds in your care. By leading by example, engaging in acts of service, creating meaningful experiences, and fostering a culture of sharing, you can instill these essential qualities in children.
The true magic of the holidays lies not in the abundance of gifts but in the warmth of shared moments and the joy of giving to others. Through these intentional efforts, you contribute to shaping a future generation that values compassion, connection, and the enduring spirit of generosity.
