Source: OWN / OWN
Being around negative, hyper-critical people can be emotionally and spiritually draining. In the cases of friendships or coworkers, we can remove ourselves from these people. But what do you do when all of the negative energy is coming from family members?
On this weekend’s episode of “Iyanla Fix My Life,” a son confront his father about his negative behavior. The conversation, which was facilitated by both Vanzant and Dr. Steve Perry, took some interesting twists and turns. And eventually, all parties involved learned a thing or two about themselves.
See how the conversation went in the transcript and video below.
David: What does criticism mean?
Lawrence: Criticism to me is always saying the negative. It ain’t nothing positive. Perfect example he helped me out with my car. He helped me fix my car. But I owed him some money, which I still do. And when I got paid, what happened? It was just negative. ‘Man, you need to blah blah blah…’ It’s always negative.
David: You’re identifying it as criticism and it’s not criticism. To me, it’s accountability.
Iyanla: Have you held them accountable?
Dr. Perry: Dad, we know that you have not held your sons accountable. So if you haven’t for so long held your sons accountable and all of a sudden you do, they’re looking at you like, ‘So now there are rules?’ Because before there were not. Accountability is about integrity. Integrity is that bridge that’s supposed to carry you across. And when that bridge no longer carries you across, it loses integrity.
Iyanla: Why was he expecting you to pay him?
Lawrence: Because I told him I was going to pay him.
Iyanla: So you didn’t keep your word.
Lawrence: No.
Iyanla: That’s it. You didn’t honor your word.
Dr. Perry: Lawrence, you know you owe him money. Do you have an ATM?
Lawrence: I have the money at the hotel.
Dr. Perry: So by tomorrow, your father will have the money.
Lawrence: Yes.
Auntie: Say what?!
Dr. Perry: Auntie, I want to give you something. He without pause or hesitation said what he was going to do, you reacted. And when you ask him what they mean by negative, that’s what they mean.
Auntie: That was negative? Oh ok.
Dr. Perry: You’ve got two young men who are working their way up. So when we hear them say exactly what we want them to say–I can accept some trepidation. I just want to make sure we express our trepidation like, ‘I’m really happy to hear that.’ And that’s it.
“Iyanla Fix My Life” airs on Saturday, May 15 at 9 pm ET/PT.
