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Singer CeCe Peniston has had a long career in dance music as well as other genres. She shot to stardom with her song, “Finally” after spending a majority of her childhood in Phoenix, Arizona.

Recently, Peniston sat down with Vlad Tv to speak about several different topics. She shared how she got her start in music, her interactions with other famous people in the industry, apologizing to singer Monica, and even her taking Lizzo to court for sampling her ad-libs on her hit song, “Juice.”

But when it came to her personal, romantic relationships, Peniston spoke about suffering five miscarriages.

Peniston shared this story of her ectopic pregnancies when she appeared on TV One’s “Unsung.” She shared that her work with the national PTA Association gave her the kids she never had.

But with Vlad, she went into a bit more detail about how she coped with these loses and how she eventually changed her perspective in order to move on with her life with a different attitude.

“It was five [miscarriages]. All with the same person. Very [devastating.] It was with the same person. Imagine, you’re getting ready to go on stage and your boobs are still full from being pregnant or your stomach is still full. Just the feeling of not being able to mentally deal with that—the depression and the sadness that goes with that.

But it’s like, hey everyone came to see me perform, right? I’m supposed to make your bad day a good day. So if I’m supposed to do that, I can’t talk about what’s going on in the background. I just have to let that go. If I’m letting that go, that feeling is still there when I go by myself at night and go lay down. But what I can tell you is, I had to come to grips with that and it was very hard. Because it was like, man I really wanted a family. I really wanted a child and God just said, ‘Hey, I got another mission for you. I need you to go out in the world and I need you to heal some hearts. And what I didn’t give you, you won’t understand right at this moment but later on you will.’

And when I decided to change my feeling about it—which took me a couple of years, I was able to go out and say, ‘Okay, I don’t know what it is that you saw that I didn’t but I trust you.’ And that’s where the change for me came in.

But I promise you, it was very depressing for me and I would hide from people a lot. They would be like, ‘Where you at?’ And sometimes it would be like three days. They’d be like, ‘You good?’ And I’d say, ‘Yeah, I’m good.’

You can text people but you’re in the room like I need a minute.

I’m thankful because I have gotten over that feeling of that. I know that I had the feeling of feeling a miracle within me but I didn’t get to deliver that. But I know God is good anyway.

Did you ever consider doing a surrogate or adopting?

No. Cuz I don’t want nobody crazy walking around talking about, ‘I own the baby now.’ Cuz no, we’re going to fight. I’m just trying to make you laugh. I guess I be looking at too much Lifetime. But I do know that could happen. It’s probably a beautiful alternative but just me personally, I was like I want to do that myself. So if not, then I’d rather not.

You can listen to this portion of CeCe’s interview in the video below.

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