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Winter is my least favorite time of year. But the one thing that makes up for it is Christmas. It’s a joyous time. Families get together. People are generally more benevolent and generous, the music is lovely and inspiring and I love a good holiday movie.
One thing I can absolutely do without though during the holiday season is buying gifts.
With the exception of children, I don’t think most of us really need anything else and certainly not during Christmas.
I was raised like most middle-class Americans. Every Christmas morning, my sister and I awoke to presents under the tree and those are some very fond memories.
But I think I was in middle school, when the idea of not exchanging gifts for the holiday season first crossed my mind.
The idea was presented to us by the pastor of our church. He shared that he and his family—including five children—did not exchange gifts on Christmas.
He wasn’t trying to convince anyone of anything but he told the congregation of thousands that Christmas was not our birthday, it was God’s. And on that day we should do something to honor God. And going into debt to buy presents for people, even if we loved them, was not the best way to do that.
Really, the message was about being more financially responsible during the holiday season so you don’t spend the first half of the year paying for presents people may or may not even use—or like.
But the message stuck with me. I tried to implement it in my own house. But it never really caught on. My mother was on board but my father and sister weren’t. They love buying gifts for people and weren’t willing to lose that for Christmas.
The one year I managed to spend my first Christmas without buying anything was the time I went with my then-boyfriend, now husband to visit his family in South Africa.
He told me that they weren’t in the custom of exchanging gifts and since there were so many family members for me to meet, I didn’t need to worry about it.
It was glorious. Not only did I not have the stress of buying for people I didn’t know—with the exception of his young niece and nephew—I got to be on vacation, in a warm climate during the Christmas holiday. (South Africa’s seasons are the opposite of ours in America.)
Spending money on an experience and putting the focus on being with family rather than exchanging gifts was a real game-changer and eye-opener for me.
There was no frantic running around. No worrying about the person liking what you bought them. And no overspending in order to prove my love for someone.
Loved it.
From then on, I tried to make a vow that I would only buy gifts for the children I happened to be around at Christmas time. Adults don’t really need much. And many are in a position to get it for themselves.
Naturally, when I share this thought with folks, they look at me crazy. I get it. It’s hard to break tradition.
But after the year we’ve had, with people losing their jobs, the government proving they could not care less if we starved, this might be a good time to present to y’all the option of going giftless.
You just might find that you like it more than you thought you would.
Have you ever had a Christmas without exchanging gifts? How was it?
