It sounds like a win-win situation. Your friend knows you and what you like and your friend also knows their friend and what he or she likes. If your friend thinks you two would be the perfect match, what could go wrong, right?
Not exactly. Sharing friends is a gamble, especially when romance is involved and nobody can predict how things might end. If you’re thinking about letting a friend hook you up, know that the relationship dynamic will change and ask yourself if you’re willing to take that risk. After all, if the relationship doesn’t last, you’ll need your friend to fall back on. Here are 5 things to consider before letting your friend play cupid.
- The Loss Of An Outlet
Everyone needs a safe space, someone to vent, cry, and complain to, then come back around and laugh like nothing ever happened. Sure you need your friend to be honest and logical, but you also need to know she has your back. If you choose to share details about your new beau with your mutual friend, be aware that she will have biases, even if she doesn’t express them to you because she has his back just like she has yours. One thing no good friend will allow is someone talking sh-t about their friend to them so prepare to vent elsewhere when your relationship hits a bump in the road.
- She Knows Your Man Better Than You Do
While your friend may not know your guy the same way you do, there are parts of him she was privy to prior to your entry in the mix. In fact, her knowing him so well is the very reason she wanted to hook you guys up. They have history and their old stories will turn into new stories for you to catch up on. Everyone has a past, whether you consider it to be good or bad, and while he may share all the details with you, she’ll already know about them. Are you okay with that?
- There May Be Things About Their Friendship You Don’t Know
Many people pride themselves on establishing a friendship before entering into a romantic relationship and even suggest that’s the key to a lasting relationship. When you see your friend and your new boo together you may question what stopped them from becoming more? If your friend thinks her friend is such a great guy for you then why wasn’t he good enough for her? Accept that you may never know the true extent of their friendship.
- You’ll expect your friend to tell you things
Let’s assume all is going well until it isn’t. Something happens that bothers you. You tell yourself it’s not that big of a deal but somehow you end up telling your girlfriend about it and you find out she already knew. In fact, she knew about it before you even did. So why didn’t she tell you? Understand that her loyalty is divided. She hears from both sides, and although she swears her allegiance is neutral, you may start to feel like you are in a three-way relationship? Your girlfriend could easily become the buffer without you ever knowing. Can your relationship last without her additional support?
- After The Breakup It Gets Weird
Many people desire to remain cordial after breakups. I, however, am not one of them. If it didn’t work, then it was for a reason, so when it’s done, it’s time to let it go. Even if the guy’s name becomes taboo in your sister circle after things go south, he remains one degree of separation away. If your friend and the guy were friends before you, expect them to remain friends after you. Now ask yourself is that something you can handle?