A month or two after giving birth to my daughter, an acquaintance asked me about the paternity of my daughter. She slipped it in subtly during an icebreaker activity at the graduate school in which we were both enrolled. She started by complimenting my hair and then asked how the baby was doing, to which I responded, “She’s great. At home with her dad.” From there, she went in for the kill: “Your husband is her father, right?”
I responded, “Of course,” without even thinking about it. It seemed like such a bizarre question to ask that it caught me completely off guard. It wasn’t until the icebreaker ended and we all returned to our seats that I realized how intrusive she was being. I don’t think I would ever ask someone outside of relatives or friends about the paternity of their kid. And yet, there are people who feel that they are owed this information from complete strangers.
Since designer Jhonika “Milan” Harris announced her pregnancy at a fashion show last December, the public has speculated that rapper Robert “Meek Mill” Williams is the father of her child. However, with the exception of a few vague comments on social media, neither party has formally confirmed this as fact.
“I’m a creative, so I didn’t want to announce my pregnancy to the world or even to my family with just a photo of my baby bump,” Milan captioned footage of her big reveal shared on Instagram. “I wanted to create a moment that I could cherish and remember forever.”
As you may recall, when Milan first announced her pregnancy last year, Meek deactivated his Instagram account, which resulted in raised eyebrows from fans. However, he later restored his account and seemed to confirm that he was expecting a child in the midst of his now-infamous Twitter feud with Nicki Minaj.
“My girl is with me pregnant watching me tweet about my ex is very clownish,” he wrote in a tweet that he later deleted. “Ima exit.”
Even after this semi-confirmation, people on social media have continued to press the couple, Milan in particular, regarding the paternity of her baby. Most recently, the expectant mom lashed out at a fan who commented beneath one of her photos “Who is the father?”
“Ppl that don’t know their own dad always inquiring about someone else’s. Whew Chile,” she responded.
While her response may seem harsh, it’s troubling that people think they’re owed information regarding the paternity of a complete stranger’s child. Additionally, it’s in very poor taste to ask someone who’s the father of their child. If you know a person well enough to question them about the identity of their child’s father, chances are you already know this information. If the information isn’t volunteered by the mom-to-be, it’s best to just mind your business.