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2019 People's Choice Awards

Source: Nicky Nelson/ / WENN

For all the differences between herself and beau James Welsh, Loni Love says he’s perfect for her.

“He’s different, his culture’s different from mine, but when we come together we know about compatibility,” she said on The Real this week. “That’s never changing.”

Love wouldn’t have found him and what they have now had she not dropped her reservations and chosen to take a chance, dating a man outside of her race. When asked by guest co-host Tisha Campbell what she’s learned about Welsh that she loves most, it’s that he’s loyal to her in a way that other men weren’t.

“It’s not about him being better because he’s still a man, but it’s the loyalty that I like,” she said. “It’s like, I can leave and he’s there for me.”

The comedian would then break into tears, thinking of her friends who are without the type of love and support they deserve because they’re dating the wrong men or have given up on trying to find one after certain experiences.

“I have one friend and I was talking to her, it was a podcast. She’s like, ‘I don’t need a man, I have my friends.’ I was like, ‘Girl!'” she said. “And this is why I’m so emotional about it because so many of our sisters are so lonely and they don’t want to admit it and all they got to do is take a chance. So I don’t want you to live your life without finding someone. When I go out on the road and I come back, it’s so nice to have somebody to say, ‘Hey!’ or pick me up from the airport.”

Campbell admitted, “I miss being in the arms of a man. I really do. That’s one of the things. It’s like, I just want to lay my head on a man’s chest. I miss that. I do.”

Love responded by saying, “And that’s the thing that you deserve.” She said a lot of the divisiveness and anger we deal with, particularly as Black women, could be quelled if we were receiving love from the right people.

“You need to go out and find it, that one person that makes you feel good,” she said as the camera panned to a Black woman in the audience in tears with her. “That one person you can turn to when you have a bad day. You don’t have to turn to your girlfriends or your mama. You turn to that one person and he understands and looks in your eyes, that’s the one you keep, and I don’t care what color he is.”

After speaking on the video with a colleague, she agreed that Black women are weary, and that even she sometimes wonders if there is potential for other men to treat us better. I’ve heard that many a time from friends hurt by men who lied about having girlfriends, wives, and children in other places. I also wonder though, if Love’s stance comes from the fact that she is happy now. When she wasn’t in a relationship, she didn’t give the impression on the show that she was missing out on anything, so I do find it interesting that she’s pushing others, including her friend, to “take a chance” because she’s happily in love. I find there are many boo’d up people (speaking as a boo’d up individual) who feel the need to try and find a match for their friends or inadvertently encourage them to do things different so those people can end up as happy as they are.

Nevertheless, I see the sincerity with which Love speaks, as well as the tears of the Black woman pointed out in the audience. Perhaps the star felt like she was whole when she was single and dating the wrong men, but now that she feels she’s found the right one in a white man, she sees what she missed out on and wants to encourage her sistahs. There’s no harm in that. With that being said, I am not against anyone doing what they feel they need to in order to get to their happy ending, because truly, it’s hard out here. So if it’s Love’s route or changing the types of men in general whom you tend to be drawn to and hurt by, you’ve got to do what will bring you happiness and only you know what that is.


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