Amanda Seales Talks About Her New Man + Pulling Back From Social Media Amidst The Lies

June 11, 2019  |  

2019 Apollo Theater Spring Gala

Source: Shahar Azran / Getty

Amanda Seales has said that as women, if we know that there are men who are behaving predatorily, it’s our job to inform one another of this man’s behavior, to prevent other women from experiencing pain, heartache or bodily harm. She was operating in that spirit of sisterhood when she shared that former NFL player turned neurosurgeon Myron Rolle was being sexually inappropriate with herself and even harassing another woman by opening up the door naked, when she showed up to meet him for a date.

Somewhere along the way, the story shifted from Rolle being inappropriate with Seales, to him having harassed her. Which is something she never said. When Seales came forward and said that Rolle never harassed her, a journalist for BlackspotsOnline twisted Seales comments to say that she’d intentionally accused a man of something he didn’t do.

Thankfully, the two were able to confront one another, where the journalist admitted that he lied to create a story.

After all of that, being attacked by her own community, Seales felt it was time she stepped away from social media. She spoke about that and her new boo on The Breakfast Club. See what she had to say below.

Why she stepped back from social media

I took a social media break because I realized I had not adjusted how I was interacting with social media even though my social media had shifted. I went from have 40,000 followers in like June of 2017 to almost a million by March. I was still operating the same way, trying to interact with everybody, clapping back. And I’m like this is not healthy. And I also got hemmed up in a silo of lies that got me a lot of death threats and people attacking me and all type of sh*t. And it’s always this continued narrative of Amanda Seales hates Black men. Which is just so tired and false. I’m only human. I can only withstand so much just watching lies about myself be continually purported by people—and also women. When you have women that take time out of their day to come at me and be like, ‘You lying ass heifer.’ But I’m like the facts are in front of your face, you just wanted to get at me. They were waiting for an opportunity and they found one. In the words of the Wu, I will protect my neck. I will go to Grenada and mind my business and end up doing a beautiful photo shoot which you can see in ESSENCE. That’s what’s always funny on the internet you get to see in real time, people taking time out of their lives to hate you at the exact same time you’re literally doing your favorite thing in the world.

That’s why I’m really trying to reiterate and encourage folks you are smart enough to handle and read things for yourself. We as a people need to get back to knowing that we have the resources within ourselves to form our own opinions. And we don’t realize how much we have been led astray by the amount of access to media and to other people’s opinions that we’re no longer forming our own…If we’re all going to have access to platforms, we should be actually being conscious of how we’re using our platforms. If you have an Instagram, you have four followers, you have a platform. When are we going to start actually admitting that the internet is an extension of your reality. And if you are on there being fake, then you are fake. It’s not virtual. Social media is not virtual reality. It’s an extension of yourself. If you’re on there doing some f*ck shit, then that means you are doing some f*ck sh*t not some other person who exists in social media land. So for me, I was like, ‘You need to check yourself Amanda.’ I did my own self check during that time. How are you adding to the things that you’re complaining about? With all the clapping back and with all the calling people out, how can you be better? That’s when I shifted and I decided I need to be more about calling people in, instead of calling people out.  I need to be more conscious about how I speak about things and trying to be more positive. And that’s just my life in general. I try and do self check but I think the internet doesn’t let you do that sometimes—and people love to bring up receipts and it’s like yes, that is a receipt of my past but I am now moving into a different space in my future and I should be allowed to do that.

Her new man

Yeah cuz y’all need to know that you can be who you are and find love.

Are you in love?

Yeah, yeah. I’m in love. Umm hmm.

How long has this been going on?

Irrelevant.

Tell us about him

No. I’m not doing none of this.

Has he met your mom?

Yes. He met my mom, he met my Aunt, he met the whole squad.

Is he young, old, your age?

My age.

Is he funny?

Hilarious. You have to be smart, funny and Black to even get in the door with me.

Where did you guys meet?

At a museum…

At the end of the day, you just want to be able to have somebody that you can bounce things off of. And that listens to you and you can listen to them. I will say that all of this is learning curve. You just realize that there’s just different paths to every relationship and how things grow. You learn things about yourself and patience. I’m just older. So I find that I’m just having to really look at myself and my triggers. That’s something you learn about in a new relationship. But it’s just nice to be growing and to know that you’re evolving and that someone is trying. A lot of women get frustrated with the fact that they don’t feel like someone is willing to get over the hump. because it’s a hump. I always say, ‘A revolutionary woman’s love will not be won passively.’ When you’re rocking with me, the easy doesn’t come in the beginning. The easy comes on the other side. We gon go through the rapids and then it’s going to be serene. But it’s because you’re dealign with someone who is an established human.I have had to be me at the full extent of me for my whole life to get to where I’m going. That’s not very malleable. You’re working with granite, not clay. You got to chip away and I have to be willing to allow that to happen to. If you’re like me, you’re going to be with somebody who’s in the same boat. I don’t want no nigga I can just walk over. I don’t want no dude who’s going to be like ‘Whatever you say.’

You have to respect each other. Sometimes that can be a journey and also that’s the realities of where you’re coming from. At this age in our life, we’ve all been through stuff. And your baggage is real and it’s very hard to not put your baggage at the door of your temple and have someone crawl over it to get to you. It can be very difficult…You don’t know how long things are going to last but at least it’s nice to have someone show effort.

A lot of these dudes that I’ve dated, especially from L.A. and they look good on paper, they’re so about them being the catch that they don’t feel like they need to adjust. And I’m like, ‘I know I’m a catch and I’m willing to adjust. So why can’t it be symbiotic?’ There has to be symbiosis. A lot of brothers don’t understand that the women they claim to want are not going to just lay down. We are, ‘Okay, let’s both step up.’ …We all have to try and be our best selves. And sometimes in relationships, it’s so easy to regress. It’s so easy to go back to our previous dysfunctions because it’s comfortable. And the sh*t that’s really difficult is being honest with yourself, ‘How am I continuing my practices that got me in the bullsh*t before?’

So Amanda’s happy?

I am. I’m even happy when it’s not good.

You can watch her full interview in the video below.

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