Source: iOne Digital / iOne Digital
Dating Horror Story is a new column on MadameNoire that gives women space to vent and air out all of their horrible dating experiences. If you have a dating horror story you would like to anonymously submit, email our Love & Relationships editor at kkelly@ionedigital.com. ***Names and details have been adjusted for anonymity.
***Jake worked at TSA and was a nice Black guy that I met at a party a few years ago. We hung out a few times randomly, and each time I had a lot of fun with him. One night we had a great time at the beach and he made an effort to get really close to me as we talked, which made me feel wanted and secure. Months later, I saw him at another event, and he joined my group of friends to skip the line. It was a costume party so we had intentions of getting a photo together, but we forgot. At the party, I was curious and asked him why he never made a real move despite us hanging out all of the time. Because the party was so loud I realized that it wasn’t the time or place to have that conversation, so I told him I would hit him up later to talk about it.
The next day, I asked him the question, and I truly was curious and not trying to ask him or pressure him into anything. That is when he told me “Lol Sarah*** honestly you’re not my type, I just want to be friends with you. We’ve pretty much known each other for a year now, and I’m glad that you’re in my life, but I just want us to remain as friends.”
I was confused because 1) I asked why you never made a move, not if you will make one and 2) why would you take me out on dates during the year to then act like I’m just your friend? 3) I’m not his type? I had to know more. I had to ask why.
He then said “I kinda don’t want to have that conversation with you.” Which made me even more curious, like WTF? So I Facetime’d him and asked and he said “I like girls that are lightskin. I don’t know why I’ve always been attracted to them. I don’t find women who are darker attractive.”
Not only is this a colorism issue that he has, but it’s also a self-hate issue–both of us are brown skin and the SAME SHADE. He is literally pulled a Kodak Black and said he does not like women his own skin tone!!! I had to give him an African Studies lesson on how troubling his perception was. Weeks later, he then pulled f*ckboy sh*t and commented under my picture Instagram picture, “pretty”. So I called him out on that, like bro which is it?
First I’m just a friend, then I’m too dark and you hate yourself, now I’m pretty??? Make up your mind. Safe to say he was mad and blocked me on every social media, and we never spoke again.
