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Oh the hype around finding “the one.” As young girls, we were pitched fairytales of Prince Charming sweeping us off our feet and carrying us into “happily ever after.” But how happy is it over there, really?
Single folks often covet those who are married, believing they’ve obtained the holy grail of relationship status. Although marriage is a decision that should be honored as a personal choice between two people in love, marital status does not necessarily fill this missing component of life that will suddenly make you feel complete and happy.
According to Psychology Today, a study of 24,000 German adults found that married folks experience a peak in happiness in the year after the wedding, but that spike in joy returns back to pre-marital levels shortly.
This is the “honeymoon” period that everyone talks about, where the initial high is suddenly evened out by the reality of expectations and responsibility.
Another study, conducted by the German Socio-Economic panel, supports the “rise and fall” of marital happiness as well. The research, backed by data collected from 1984-2004, found there were initial benefits to marriage because of the “social support” aspects of the bond. Companionship, emotional support, and consistent sex all contribute to happiness, Psychology Today explains. But, as a part of human nature, we get used to these benefits and their impact starts to diminish over time. Plus, since married people tend to put their attention on their spouse, they could end up cutting off ties with other friends in their circle outside of the marriage who also help to give us social support advantages.
There is also the theory that it’s not marriage that makes people happier–happier people just tend to get married. The theory is called “the selection effect” where those who jump the broom have overall higher reports of happiness from the start.
All this to say, marriage is a beautiful life union that should be entered into out of a desire to merge lives, goals, and families. But if it’s only for the fleeting feelings of “happiness,” you may reconsider another source for that type of fulfillment.
