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Over the weekend, the three big social media sites Facebook, Instagram and Twitter were all discussing the same scenario. About the mother who asked a man she was dating to give/loan her $20. For this discussion, it’s imperative that you read the text messages detailing their tense exchange.

Click through and read the entire thread to get the full picture of how it all went down.

When I first read this, I could really understand where this man was coming from. It’s not his responsibility to take care of her children. As someone who is incredibly sensitive about loaning and getting my money back, I take it seriously. So I can certainly understand not wanting to take on another man’s responsibility. And really, it’s a tragedy that between three parents, the woman and her two baby daddies, no party could produce 20 U.S. Dollars. That’s a scary position to be in as a parent.

And truly, at the end of the day, she shouldn’t have felt all that comfortable asking a man to take care of her children. It’s not his obligation.

But then again, if you care about a woman, you care about her children and their well-being. And while a field trip isn’t exactly a necessity, they are extremely important to children. (I know they were to me.) As adults, we should all feel some level of responsibility to all children in the world. And I can’t imagine knowing children who are in need of just $20 and not being willing to help. You know what happens to kids who don’t go on field trips, they sit in an empty school all day, likely with an administrator or another teacher who has stayed behind. It’s not fun. They feel left out. They miss out. And you know when you miss out on something, you imagine your classmates having more fun than they probably ever could. I say all that to say, I get that sense that this man doesn’t care about this woman—or her children at all. And if this is how he reacts to her asking for money for her children, there’s a good chance that he would never feel comfortable doing anything for them. So the relationship was never going to work.

Plus, there was a point where she mentioned sharing parts with him, which I took to mean sex. The thought that you could have sex with someone and they wouldn’t be willing to loan or give you $20 is strange to me. So sis should be more selective about her partners. Not that you test people with loaning you money before you give them some but I doubt this is the first time that he’s shown a lack of compassion. And she should have taken note.

He said that until he’s married, he doesn’t give women money. Which is an interesting concept. We obviously don’t know the nature of their relationship. But if he’s paying for dates, dinners, movies etc, then he’s spent much more than $20. If he’s spent it on her, then the fact that he wouldn’t spend it on her children is strange, particularly when it’s not a lot of money. And he would have been well within his rights to ask for it back. He knows she has three children and two baby daddies, there’s a good chance that he’s developed some type of relationship with them—which makes this refusal so confusing.

It doesn’t matter what that $20 was for, I doubt he would have been willing to give it to her regardless.

Furthermore, the crunkness in his response makes me wonder if he had the $20 to begin with…

What do you think about this scenario? Was she wrong to ask? Was he wrong to deny her?


Veronica Wells is the culture editor at She is also the author of “Bettah Days” and the creator of the website NoSugarNoCreamMag. You can follow her on Facebook and on Instagram and Twitter @VDubShrug.
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