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When Sherri Shepherd visited “The Breakfast Club,” we talked about her discussion of her ex-husbands, all of their shenanigans and her desire to get back out there in the dating scene. But during that conversation, she also shared an interesting little anecdote about her son and his “romantic” preferences.
Shepherd’s 13-year-old son Jeffrey, goes to a predominately White school. And he told his mother that he doesn’t like Black girls because he thinks they’re mean. He shared one incident where he was speaking to a Black girl and she “moved her neck.”
“He like these girls. And there’s not that many little Black girls at his school and he came in and said, ‘Mommy, I like White girls.’ Because it’s only a couple of Black girls. I learn a lot about men from my son. The little Black girls get mean with him. Sometimes they don’t want to speak, sometimes they act crazy. And he’s like, ‘Why they act so crazy?’ and I’m like, ‘I don’t know.’ So I keep trying to tell the little girls to be nicer so he can come towards you. But the other girls see him and they go, ‘Hey, Jeffrey’ and they wanna feel his hair. He said their nicer. ‘And Camille, she always moves her neck. She said, ‘Don’t talk to me today Jeffrey. I don’t want that flower.’ And I said unfortunately Jeffrey, that’s going to last your whole life. That’s just how we are. Our neck moves.”
Sigh. This is not about Sherri’s son. His story, honestly, is not all that unique. This is about Sherri Shepherd. I really do wonder about the subsequent conversations she’s having with her son about Black girls and women. Instead of putting the onus on the Black girl, suggesting they be nicer to her son, something which she will never control, she should be concerned about recognizing that her son doesn’t start the practice of ascribing negative characteristics to people based on race—especially when those people are your own. At 13, he’s old enough to have discussions about stereotypes and even begin to discuss the unique pressures Black girls are under that might contribute to these attitudes—low self esteem—based on lack of representation and this country’s Eurocentric beauty standards, family problems, etc.
When your child spends his time in predominately White environments, it’s your job as a Black parent to ensure that your Black child is around Black people. Not only for cultural connection but also for exposure to various Black folk. Black folk who are accomplished. Black folk who are in loving relationships. And Black girls and grown women who are kind people.
In the meantime, I certainly wouldn’t tell this story—putting his son’s business out in the street but also perpetuating a stereotype that is still making life for Black women hard out here.
You can watch this portion of the interview around the 37:18 mark.
