A recent study proved that African-Americans love social media tools like Twitter, so that’s a given. But do we love them more than the people we’re in romantic relationships with?
Now, before you protest, yes, it is true: the black community should be plugged into the latest technology. In fact, a site like Twitter seems to be exceptionally popular with black folk. And yes, there are a ja-billion benefits to using Facebook and Twitter, including the ability to network, find lost friends & colleagues and stay abreast of current events and news. So, this isn’t an article about closing your Facebook & Twitter accounts (necessarily).
However, sometimes, just sometimes, a little over-engagement with social networking sites can wreak havoc on romantic relationships, most especially black romantic relationships. Couples may want to at least consider the following:
Black men & women fundamentally need to prioritize and perfect their non-tech communications. Our ability to communicate with each other in person, or in front of the kids, or in the bedroom has dwindled considerably. We now put up communication walls thanks to those darn Facebook walls, and instead of finding the right ways to poke each other before sleep time, we’re hiding behind the electronic poke. According to Susan L. Blumberg and authors of the book Fighting for Your African American Marriage, frequent experiences of racism or stereotypes of black men and women, affect their in-person communications with each other. They, by far, need to work on perfecting their in-person, romantic communications, before superimposing greater and greater levels of distance via electronic communications.
If a black man is dating or digging a sista, she should be his priority, not his status updates. You ever met a black man who tries to re-do his slightly loser-ish past by becoming a Mac Daddy online? (No pun intended on Mac). We all know him. He wasn’t that popular in school, and back in his time, there was no Facebook or Twitter. Now that he has social media in the palm of his hands, he figures he’ll add as many friends as possible (mostly girls) and over-engage them to boost his ego. You, who found him and loved him unconditionally, are left wondering why all his “friends” are leaving him flirty messages. You may even find yourself reacting like this.
Alas, social media may seem like a good thing at first–and it is…or, at least can be. But, be careful not to replace a good brotha or sista with it.
