We know what it takes for Iyanla Vanzant to successfully aid someone in fixing their life. They have to do the work. They have to confront the ugly stuff. They have to examine their childhood and get real with their loved ones. And sometimes, they might even need to recite some questionable lyrics in front of Sojourner Truth and Harriet Tubman.
But what does it take to for Vanzant to get her life in check when things are in disarray? In an interview with The Breakfast Club, she said that it requires a village.
“I’m human, so I have a team,” she said. “First of all, I have elders that I go to that keep me straight. That’s number one, or when I need guidance I call my elders. I have prayer partners. I say, ‘We’ve got to put this on the prayer wheel,” [laughs]. “‘What’s going on here?”
And while her elders and prayer circle advises her, she also has people around her that keep her uplifted.
“And then I have a team around me that supports me, encourages me in all kinds of ways,” she said. “I am a village. It takes a village to support the queen, or the king or whoever. And I have an incredible village of highly-minded people. I’m human like everybody else.”
And when Vanzant says she’s human like the rest of us, she’s not kidding. Her life experiences are what enable her to do the work she does on Fix My Life.
“I have empathy for people because it’s me,” she said. “I see my crazy everywhere. People want to know ‘Why don’t you cry? You’re so hard.’ I say, you know what? Once you’ve healed it, it don’t resonate anymore. I’ve been crazy. I’ve done some crazy stuff. I had three kids by the time I was 21 by three different men. I lived in the projects. I’ve done all manner of stuff. So when I see people, I’m just looking at myself and what I’ve healed. And I’m grateful. But I also know the truth, so I’m going to get up under that thing with you.”
She also has married the same man twice.
“I told you I’ve been crazy,” she joked.
For the record, they’re no longer together.
“I’m healed,” she said. “It wasn’t a mistake, it was a learning…and he was fine [laughs]. I’m human! Didn’t I say that?”
Vanzant isn’t afraid to be honest and says encouraging others to do the same is what helps people get things off their chest and in turn, lessens the stigma on seeking out therapy to deal with mental health.
“We can’t do this anymore. We’re crazy,” she told the hosts. “Our kids are killing us and we’re killing them. And we’ve got to start telling another level of truth, particularly for people of color. We act like Uncle Booboo isn’t eating dog food. We’ve got to stop that. You understand? And doing all manner of wahala. We just have to tell the truth. We have to.”