D.L. Hughley has always been candid about his struggles with fidelity and his continued effort to be a better husband to his wife LaDonna over the course of their 30 year marriage. The comedian has always been very vocal about the fact the he doesn’t believe monogamy is a natural concept and has admitted in the past that he doesn’t understand women. But even if marriage continues to be challenging for one of the “Original Kings of Comedy”, fatherhood is no laughing matter to him. Recently, Hughley appeared on an episode of Angela Yee’s Lip Service and opened up about a tough time he experienced after losing a child that was made outside of his marriage.
“I remember I got jammed up right.”
“So I had knocked this chick up, and she had the baby and the baby got killed by her boyfriend. It was a horrible, horrible experience.”
“I had this baby I’m paying for, I’m a boy, I’m scared, I’m married, I’m just starting out my career.”
Hughley goes on to explain how he learned the child was victim of abuse at the hands of the child’s mother’s boyfriend and although he was devastated, he ultimately decided not to tell his wife about the situation for a long time.
“I get a call from my boy and he says “Your son is in the hospital.” And I go and they were Cape Verdean, she was from Cape Verde, so I go to the hospital and this boy was laying the bed and apparently, her boyfriend had shaken him, and damaged him, and I knew one day I would be man enough to tell my woman what had happened. I was so f***ed up.”
Eventually Hughley did come clean about the ordeal to his wife who turned out to be more supportive than he thought she would be and even expressed that she wished he had told her at the time so they could’ve gone through the situation together. When LaDonna and the woman unexpectedly ended up meeting face to face at an airport, the situation wasn’t exactly the Love and Hip-Hop type of altercation you might expect when the wife and side-chick finally meet. Hughley explains exactly how calm the impromptu meeting went:
“Years later we’re at the airport — remember when you used to be able to go through the airport, you didn’t have to have a ticket and you could meet your family, so one day I go and the girl is there and my wife meets me at the plane. I see her see us and I know she thinks she got me in a trick bag and I say, ‘Baby, this is the girl I had the baby by,’ and my wife said, ‘I’m so sorry for your loss.’”
“And I felt so small. Because I was a coward two ways. And it starts to change the way you see stuff. I think when you’re very young, I never felt bad about my inclinations, I have felt bad about the damage that it’s done to the people in my life and I don’t want to be the kind of guy that at the end of your life has broken a lot of people, children and women, and families, and I think a lot of guys feel like that.”
I’ve always said that infidelity is one thing, but for someone to go pro-creating all crazy outside of a marriage or long term relationship is the ultimate sign of disrespect. I get it, things happen but one night of passion shouldn’t have to result in broken hearts, broken homes and children who are made to feel like consequences of confusion and a lack of self-control. But I’ll be the first to admit that life and love are complicated, and it seems as if Hughley is at least making an effort to learn and grow. If his wife LaDonna is willing to stay by his side while he does that, say what you want but that requires a tremendous amount of strength. On some level that’s what marriage is about: Not bailing when you realize that you partner isn’t perfect even if sometimes you fall victim to those imperfections.
Could you support your partner if he lost a child that was made while he was cheating?
You can check out D.L. Hughley’s appearance on Lip Service below: