Do you have a lot of male friends? That’s fine! It’s healthy to have friends of the opposite sex. They can give you insight into the mind of man, and they can be adorably protective in a big brother way. But, how do you know when you’ve crossed the line from just caring about each other as friends, friends with their own partners at that, and instead, find yourself having an emotional affair?

Think you’re the only woman who wishes she could keep her cool over certain things? Think again. We’re not made of stone. As much as we’ve worked on our self-confidence and learned to let some things roll off our shoulders, there are just some parts of a relationship that get under every woman’s skin. Like these:

No one likes to be the bearer of bad news to a friend. And we’ve all gone through the anxieties of dating—of not being called back, of not being called at all, of having our date flirt with the bartender…and along the way, we’ve come up with some “explanations” for these events that have made us feel better. Of course, in the end, we learned that we were only fooling ourselves. But when our friend is hurting, sometimes we just want to fool her…I mean comfort her…rather than break the bad news just yet. So we say this: