All Articles Tagged "intelligence"
How Important Is It To Date Your Intellectual Equal?
Source: Shutterstock.com
I can’t stand a dumb man. Period.
For me there is something extremely hot about a man who is a thinker, politically astute, reads frequently and could articulate a thoughtful, well reasoned point. I put smarts up there with sense of humor, which is pretty damn high on my mental list of must-have attributes in a potential partner. There is nothing more in life I dream of than having witty stimulating adventures with the opposite sex.
Like many women, who value intelligence in a man, I used to think that the only way a man could measure up intellectually is if he had a college degree. In theory, it makes sense considering that the best way to rise socially and/or economically in society is for a person to pursue and complete his or her post secondary education. And in practice it made even more sense considering how many men, I had come across in the dating world, who would proudly proclaim their disdain for anything remotely intellectual. “Books are long and boring. Only thing I read is the sport section of the newspaper,” I had one particular suitor tell me. His name was Darrell*, a 25 year old telemarketer, who felt that reading was for dummies. Any attempts at intellectual conversations with Darrell about philosophical topics like art or literature were usually met with blank stares and the verbal equivalent of “uh-duh.” He had a pretty face though and a wicked sense of humor. So in an effort to salvage this dude, I decided to try to introduce my friend to some culture by way of a one-woman play that a friend of mine had starred, written and directed. But not only did this fool fall asleep during the performance, he had the audacity to snore so loud that people turned around and hushed us. That was it. Men, in general, may value things like mutual attraction and love; dependable character and emotional stability over how well versed a woman may be, but me, I’ll take the New York Times.
And then I met Shawn*. He was tall, dark skinned, college educated and had a brain worthy of MENSA. He walked around with a leather satchel filled with books, highlighters and a laptop, which if the inspiration hit him, would become his vessel to express his creativity. Shawn’s main love was poetry – slam poetry to be exact. He was passionate about word play, which made him always down for a good conversation. We would meet daily at a local coffee shop, pondering over life’s mysteries and musing over the collective works of August Wilson. He was cultured, creative and full of opinions. Always.
One night, we were on our way to our favorite after poetry slam spot – the 24 hour diner that serves breakfast food all day – when Shawn decided to rehash a debate we had had several times over the course of a month; does God really exist? This time the debate was a variation of sorts over free will versus God’s will. “It just doesn’t make any sense. You can’t have free will and destiny. People who believe that are just as stupid as people who believe in God.”
My general feelings about the whole God stuff is that it is possible that he/she/it exists. However as far as religion goes, I think that people just make stuff up to fulfill whatever political and social agenda they are seeking at the time. As such, my own made up theory was that we are free to choose our paths in life and every cause has a consequence – good or bad – and that is where destiny, or God’s will as some may refer to it, comes into play. But Shawn wasn’t hearing it. “But that doesn’t make sense. Free will and destiny can’t exist at the same time. That’s a mathematical improbability. That’s the problem with people, who believe in a God and blah, blah, blah…” He spent 30 minutes attempting to debunk my belief and another 45 minutes, getting agitated because he couldn’t shake my beliefs. “…therefore it is inconceivable that free will and God’s will can exist in the same place. And you are wrong. WRONG,” he said as he slammed his fist down on the table. “What do you have to say about that? I’ll take your silence to mean that you know I’m right?” And I was like, “dude seriously, I just want to eat pancakes in peace.”
The thing about really smart guys is that more often than not, they are used to being the smartest person in the room, which also means that they are used to being right all the time. This makes them both endlessly enthralling and even more wearisome because at times, they will place their reverence for ideas and hardcore logic ahead of his concerns for you and your feelings. And Shawn was so blinded by his desire to be proven right that he failed to see that me and our pancakes were getting cold. Needless to say my love affair with the smart intellectual ended.
That’s not to say that a man can’t woo me with a critical analysis of themes within Ralph Ellison’s “Invisible Man” but I no longer need to be able to vet every thought he has in order for me to appreciate him as a person. I guess my point is that the world is vast with knowledge and there are different ways to measure intelligence in a man. He doesn’t have to be a degreed professional, because let’s be honest, some of the most ignorant people hold high degrees. But he does have to be perceptive and intuitive. Truth of the matter was that despite his snoring, Darrell wasn’t that bad. He was actually pretty good at mechanics and kept my older model Toyota Camry in excellent running condition. And in fact, he did have a point: my friend’s play was nonsensical and dreadfully boring.
Don’t Judge Me: Why You Can’t Define Someone’s Character By Their Love of Rachet Reality TV
Source: datesafeproject.org
What does “Love and Hip Hop” have in common with this year’s election? If you said nothing, then you, my friend, are correct. Well, to me anyway. According to many others in our community, if you find yourself tuned in to VH1′s epically bad, yet addicting, reality shows you are probably unaware of what is going in your community, national government, and world stage. I’ll give you a minute to side eye the hell out of that.
Excuse me, but I guess I was completely wrong for thinking that what a person considers entertainment/guilty pleasure in no way correlates to how active and productive they are in their community and political affairs. Yet, throughout the duration of the season of “Love and Hip Hop Atlanta,” and has now been replaced by “Basketball Wives LA,” tweets would filter into my otherwise peaceful and fun timeline chastising those who would tune in on Monday nights to laugh at Steebie J‘s rat face. My issue with this train of thought isn’t so much the fact that a person has mustered the audacity to attempt to wage forced influence on an adult’s choices; its more so that someone can be so high and mighty as to believe that there is no room for fun, or pardon my french — f***ery in life. That being concerned with the growing deportations of Africans in Israel, for example, is mutually exclusive and contingent upon me not losing myself in an hour of “As the Hood Turns (my little nickname for LHHATL).”
We should not feel the need to explain ourselves to a mentality that comes off so minute; to make people see reason with something so simple as enjoying a television program. But, such phony superior mentalities and arguments must be combated. It is simply preposterous to think you know someone and can define their tastes by every little thing they divulge in. Do I watch reality TV? Absolutely. But that doesn’t, in any shape or form, compose every inch of the woman I am.
I’m a former student of Political Science (who LOVES to read the Congressional Quarterly), and an active volunteer for President Obama’s reelection campaign. I am a woman who speaks two languages, and is sharpening her skills in a third. I am also a person who has served my country through a government program, and has based her career in extending educational resources for our children. But, I guess for some, all of that gets eclipsed by my love of reality soap operas. This air of superiority that some wade in blinds them to the fact that as complex creatures, we are capable of feeling more than one way at time, and can like things that don’t make us think too hard as much as we might follow political news channels and National Geographic specials. We are capable of immersing ourselves in work, and also in things that bring pleasure or a moment of ease and relaxation. Even if it comes in the most rachet of forms.
My watching reality shows does not mean I care any less about the disenfranchisement of voters in several states. What I do find peculiar is that those who hold themselves up to such standards usually are not as knowledgeable about the platforms they would like us to believe they’re protecting. “You so busy watching Joseline when you should be worried about the election.” That’s fantastic, but can you, my dear criticizer, name the point issues of the election, the key differences between the two parties, the accomplishments and unfinished work of the present administration, and the states that are suppressing voter rights? (Interestingly enough they usually can’t.)
There is a time for work and there is a time for play. No question about that. When it is time to get geared up about issues that are affecting our livelihood and our family and friends, I believe wholeheartedly that we should turn off the TVs and roll up our sleeves and get to work. But in order to be effective in our plans and our fights, we need periods of rest. We need to enjoy ourselves, have a couple of silly laughs, and be able to turn our brains off. And whether we are completely satisfied with it or not, reality TV helps many do just that. There is no way I could have aided over 100 adults in refocusing their lives in the past year if there was not something light to turn to and distract myself with at the end of the day; with such distractions including but not limited to good ole cheap television shows.
Blaming and shaming wins you no supporters. No one wants to side with a person who demeans them or judges them harshly. If you want supporters and team members for your cause, try a different route than bashing folks for enjoying the craziness that is reality TV. After all, you’ll catch more flies with honey than you will with vinegar….and judgmental tweets.
Revenge of The Nerds: Reasons Why You Should Give Geeks A Chance
snorgtees.com
Someone recently asked me what my “type” is – the type of guy I usually fall for. While I don’t think I have a type per se, I was told I always dated “nerdy” guys. I personally like to refer to them as “academic” – because “nerdy” seems to imply that they’re socially inept, lack muscles, wear cuffed jeans and thick glasses. That is what is defined as “nerdy” by society’s standards – shy, awkward men who love comic books, Star Trek and wizardry.
But don’t let the bow tie, smarts, and self-deprecation fool you.
Those stereotypes have often left the geeks out of the dating game…until now. While some “unenlightened” women shun these men, others realize that geeky guys are the preferred choice among women who overlooked them during our high school and college years. They’ve spent their 20’s and 30’s “regrouping” and growing into their intelligent sexiness and behold: they now have nerd boy swag. So, before you write this person off as not worth dating, let’s consider what geeks bring to a relationship.
C.I.A. Examining Legality of Work With Police Dept.
(New York Times) — The Central Intelligence Agency has opened an internal inquiry into whether its close cooperation with the New York Police Department in the decade since the Sept. 11 attacks has broken any laws prohibiting the agency from collecting intelligence in the United States. During his first Congressional testimony as the C.I.A. director, David H. Petraeus said Tuesday that the agency’s inspector general had begun to investigate its work with the Police Department “to make sure we are doing the right thing.” Mr. Petraeus said the inquiry began last month, but gave few details about its scope.
Does Your Marital Status Affect Your Child’s IQ?
Children of married couples are more cognitively developed than children from single parent or co-habitation homes according to a study by the British Institute for Fiscal Studies.
But if you’re not married and you have a child, there’s no need to work yourself into a tizzy. The study found cognitive development has more to do with the parents’ education level than actual marital status.
Read the rest of the correlation between education, marriage and your child’s intelligence over at Your Tango.com.
The Secrets Next Door
(Washington Post) — The brick warehouse is not just a warehouse. Drive through the gate and around back, and there, hidden away, is someone’s personal security detail: a fleet of black SUVs that have been armored up to withstand explosions and gunfire. Along the main street, the signs in the median aren’t advertising homes for sale; they’re inviting employees with top-secret security clearances to a job fair at Cafe Joe, which is anything but a typical lunch spot.
Is Obama Too Damn Smart For His Own Good?
(The Fresh Xpress) — Seems like President Obama just can’t win. They want him to get more “angry” then get mad when he uses the term “kick a$”. They want him to quit overreaching into private industry, yet complain that he didn’t step in sooner to close BP’s leak. They assail him for being elitist, yet call him inauthentic when he orders buffalo wings and drinks beer. For many people Barack Obama will never be good enough, simply because he isn’t the guy they voted for back in 08′.
Does the Internet Make You Smarter?
(Wall Street Journal) — Digital media have made creating and disseminating text, sound, and images cheap, easy and global. The bulk of publicly available media is now created by people who understand little of the professional standards and practices for media. Instead, these amateurs produce endless streams of mediocrity, eroding cultural norms about quality and acceptability, and leading to increasingly alarmed predictions of incipient chaos and intellectual collapse.
Harvard Law Student: 'African Americans Are, On Average, Genetically Predisposed To Be Less Intelligent'
A third-year Harvard Law Student has landed himself in hot water after an email discussing his beliefs on genetic predisposition to intelligence was released to the media.
Here’s an excerpt:
I absolutely do not rule out the possibility that African Americans are, on average, genetically predisposed to be less intelligent. I could also obviously be convinced that by controlling for the right variables, we would see that they are, in fact, as intelligent as white people under the same circumstances. The fact is, some things are genetic. African Americans tend to have darker skin. Irish people are more likely to have red hair.
The email continues:
Everyone wants someone to take 100 white infants and 100 African American ones and raise them in Disney utopia and prove once and for all that we are all equal on every dimension, or at least the really important ones like intelligence. I am merely not 100% convinced that this is the case.
