Infatuation is one of the illest feelings when a relationship is new.  You can’t wait to see your new boo, get a call or a text, or a surprise lunch date.  But then, after three months or so, you feel like, maybe, your dude is pulling away.  He doesn’t call as much, so you call more.  He doesn’t call back right away, so 30 minutes later you’re sending him a text wondering why he hasn’t answered your calls.  You show up at his door (even if he lives a hour-and-a-half away) unannounced to treat him to breakfast.  You question why he’s not answering is home phone, and drive by his crib to see if his car is there.  All the while, you feel crazy and desperate, but you can’t stop.

He’s becoming your obsession, and the more you push, the more he pulls away.  ”Most obsessive relationships don’t last.  The partner of the obsessive love frequently becomes tired of [the other's] overwhelming needs” says Monique Belton, PhD, co-author of The Essential Guide to Overcoming Obsessive Love.

Dr. Belton gives us some red flags that you can identify in either yourself or your partner.  She calls them “Obsession Alerts”…..

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Glenn Close as Alex in “Fatal Attraction.” Do not become an Alex!

Companionship is something we were built for; it’s a part of human nature. The longing to lock arms and exchange sweet smiles is not to be ignored. Finding love is important and we should keep ourselves open to possibilities.

However, we should not be so inviting that we appear desperate. Standards and politesse need always apply. No man wants a woman who is desperate. It is most attractive to seem desirable and confident. So, assume the correct position when hunting for men. When and with whom it is meant to be will happen. The key is remaining open and opportunistic. Here are a few tips for looking open to love without coming off as desperate: