All Articles Tagged "down low men"
By Rick Clemons
Now, I can laugh at this thought. Still, just a little over twelve years ago, I would have said the same thing, “I’m not gay, I just like having sex with men!” Ahem, excuse me that sounds a little homosexual to me. Granted, if you’re a male, having sex with a male, you could be bi-sexual, so just admit it and move on. Yet, I didn’t fit that mold twelve years ago, either. I was caught in a dysfunctional sexual limbo that made no sense.
Of course, now things have changed, and it all makes sense…I’m a happy homosexual. I’ve joined the ranks of “Happily Divorced,” and am no longer messing around with other married men, disengaging from the experience, and pretending to be something I’m not. However, contrary to popular belief there are more from whence I came…married men, looking for married men!
Shocking as it may seem to some of you, this phenomena is not new, nor a dwindling fad. Of course I have no cold hard facts to prove this statement, and I don’t need them. All I need is a computer, an Internet connection, and an hour of free time. With those three things at my disposal I can find numerous sites where married men for married men lurk. I can also join online groups where these guys exchange their stories, get support for their dual lives, and of course also find the occasional hook-up. And, then there’s online chat rooms, gay male hook-up sites, gay male apps, that also work for men who are married and just having sex with men, even though their not gay. After all why not fish where your most likely to hook one, especially when you can do it inconito!
Read more at YourTango.com
Due to the escalating beef between “Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta” stars Mimi Faust and K.Michelle, Power 105.1′s The Breakfast Club gave both ladies the opportunity to call up the show, speak their peace and clear the air this morning. The hosts also gave Mimi’s boyfriend Nikko a chance to address K.Michelle’s claims that he’s on the down low. Both Nikko and K.Michelle hurled some pretty huge allegations at each other, but the stories are so conflicting, it’s quite evident that someone is lying. Check out both of their responses and let us know what you think.
“She [K.Michelle] says a lot of things and I don’t even know the girl. I have no idea [why she thinks I'm down low]. All I know is that she might be mad because I ain’t give her the d. She came at me and I turned her down. I told her ‘You know, you ain’t really my type. I’m with Mimi.’ So, she just wanna throw allegations out there.”
“I just believe she’s a homewrecker. She just don’t wanna see nobody happy around her. I don’t really know much about her, I just hear all the speculations.”
“I am not gay at all. I don’t have a gay bone in my body or a bisexual bone in my body.”
“Do you know I had never met him a day in my life until she brought him to my house? Let me tell you what’s going on. The dude is down low. You can’t take my opinion from me. I know you wanna cover stuff up or do whatever you have to do. I don’t know you and I think everybody that knows me know that I don’t date no fairy-looking men. He looks like a fairy. I would never do that. Mimi like them kind of dudes. That ain’t even my type of dude. You don’t have no job. This man has a roommate. The roommate is gay and they have a rap group. They are roommates in Atlanta and the rent isn’t even high in Atlanta. You do the math…”
“I said ‘this guy looks a little suspect.’ Ariane and me, we talked to Mimi as friends and we said, ‘something isn’t right.’ Ariane said, ‘I know for a fact, I have proof that this man [Nikko's roommate] is gay.’ The gay community [in Atlanta] knows that this man in down low. Now, I don’t care what you do or who you poke, I just don’t appreciate downlow men. If I’m your friend, Mimi I’m going to tell you that this man is really using you. You really are the sidechick again because he has a boyfriend.”
“I understand you don’t want to look stupid on TV, because I took up for you, every show I had and we all go through things and look stupid for men. But, you’re about to damn near get kicked off of the show because he got you running around, just like Stevie, like a little puppet.”
Which story do you believe?
Check out audio of both Nikko and K.Michelle’s interviews on the next page.
I’m somewhat amused at how heterosexual black men, particularly rappers, have turned Frank ocean’s coming out into an opportunity to redeem themselves from the HIV/AIDS/STD-spreading sexually promiscuous and indiscriminate labels that have been placed upon them. While elsewhere on the web, rappers like Jay-Z were celebrating Frank’s courage to be an openly gay male hip-hop artist, other lesser-known figures in the genre were suddenly concerned with the sexual health and well-being of the community rather than addressing the issue on everyone else’s mind which was how would black rappers accept a fellow rapper who was gay. Lil Scrappy first offender on that side, telling TMZ Live:
“I’m glad that [Frank Ocean] came out … so all the real women that love to mess with real men, straight men, we can keep the AIDS situation down, you feel me?” He continued on with “Homosexuality is a doorway to AIDS, scientifically.”
It doesn’t take much effort to identify the host of things that are wrong with his statement but I think his remarks have been eclipsed by ones made by rapper Killer Mike in an interview with The Grio. Questioning him about nonchalant tweets he sent after Frank Ocean came out, Killer Mike gave The Grio a similar reaction to the news, sidestepping the true issue on the table and opening up an entirely different discussion.
“Black women tend to be overly celebratory about things that directly or could directly affect them in a harmful way,” he said. “I watch black women on twitter malign heterosexual black men who they view as promiscuous. I watch them malign them every day, yet it’s harder for a woman to give HIV to a man than it is for a man to give it to a woman. I watch the same women celebrate bisexuality in a black man. I don’t judge bisexuality or homosexuality; to each his own. I grew up under wonderful gay uncles who are the reason why I went to Morehouse, the reason why I have certain fashion sensibilities. They are the ones that gave me culture because my dad and stepdad were just manly kind of men. Artistically and culturally I am who I am because of my gay uncles.
“That being said we have to admit that when engaging in anal sex; it carries a higher risk for something. So I am just amazed when I see black women who just castigate their heterosexual partners to dirt level, celebrate gay and bisexual in a way that is almost exclusive of how their distrustful they are of black women. They look down on black women and say that ‘I’m not a Slore,’ but all these other whores are. In how they look down on heterosexual men who are traditionally their partners, but they celebrate somehow another group of man that supposedly will never betray them and seek their heterosexual partner.
“I support Frank Ocean’s freedom to be who he is. I congratulate Frank Ocean. I feel that my gay uncles would be ashamed of me to be anything else. With that said, I’m not ever going to let black women who don’t let us off the hook, off the hook. I’m not going to let sisters who are the highest growing population of HIV cases off the hook either. There is some sick s*it in our community we got to get our head around. That’s a problem.”
For starters, when it comes to the HIV/AIDS epidemic swarming through the black community, no one should be let off the hook. Men and women of all sexual orientations are responsible for the spread and finger pointing and preconceived notions about the likelihood of one particular group continuing its spread is not only counterproductive, but likely part of the reason the numbers continue to rise among us as they do.
When I observed the celebration of Frank Ocean’s coming out by black men and women alike, the down-low phenomenon seemed to be the furthest thing from anyone’s mind. People weren’t celebrating the fact that a man who we still don’t know is bisexual or simply homosexual was coming clean and confessing his sexual orientation as some sort of obligation. What garnered so much attention was the fact that a member of such a seemingly homophobic musical genre as hip-hop was brave enough and comfortable enough with himself and who he sleeps with at night to out himself voluntarily and accept any potential backlash that could come with it. While it wasn’t outside the realm of possibility that certain artists wouldn’t want to work with him in the future, I certainly didn’t foresee his openness as an opportunity to speak on HIV/AIDS or to try to put black women on blast. But as is customary these days, that’s what this has turned into.
Is it just me, or have the past few years of reality TV and tell-all books allowed people who embody all things shady get to the top and gain celebrity? Seriously, these days young women are seeing that while an education is nice, if you do something scandalous and talk about it for all to hear, you can get book deals, TV shows, roles in movies, endorsements, advertising for your business ventures and more. Decorum is out for dollars folks, and if you don’t believe me, check out the following individuals. I don’t like to say “Hoes be winning,” so I’ll just say these seven “fools” were (and currently are) winning for all the wrong reasons.
Karrine “Superhead” Steffans
Nobody gained so much notoriety for discussing lewd behavior as Karrine Steffans did after she revealed a who’s who list of famous (and often, VERY married) rappers she rolled in the sack with or went down on in “Confessions of a Video Vixen.” The chick was on “Oprah” for goodness sake! While the book was interesting, and you could also feel for her a little bit as a woman who was sexually assaulted and had it change her in path in life, it also left a bad taste in my mouth. Maybe the whole kissing and telling culture just bothers me, but she didn’t seem that apologetic to the wives of the women she slept with, and spent more time either lauding the men and their packages or dissing their stroke. And after the fact she jumped on the media blitz getting her name out there, still dissing or running after men she claimed to be in love with (like Lil’ Wayne) and signed contracts to put out more of these kinds of books, and more. In the end, I think Steffans just exposed herself most over the years as an all-around sloppy individual, airing out everyone she ran into, including her ex-husband Darius McCrary, Bobby Brown and her current husband via Twitter. She made millions off of being messy.