All Articles Tagged "deception"

Why Don’t We Talk About The Ways In Which Men Emotionally Trap Women In Relationships?

May 2nd, 2016 - By Victoria Uwumarogie
Share to Twitter Email This



When you hear the words “trap” and “manipulation” regarding relationships, it’s often people stating the ways in which some women put men in a tight corner by getting pregnant and having a child to hold over a man’s head for years to come. Maybe even the ways in which sex can be used to get money and other things out of a guy. But rarely do people talk about the ways in which men “trap” and “manipulate.” Especially not the ways that men emotionally trap women in relationships. This is done through lies by omission, also known as, exclusionary detailing.

It’s the idea that someone misrepresents themselves in order to bring about a mistaken belief.  Lying to paint the prettiest portrait of one’s self–a false portrait. A man who wants you to think he’s an upstanding guy, that he’s on the level of the kind of man you are seeking, and that he has his stuff together, might deceive you into believing that all is well (and clean) in his life. He’ll prey upon your vulnerability (you seeking Mr. Right via a dating app or being upfront about wanting a serious commitment) and try to get in where he can fit in. He’s a fraud, and sadly, many of us don’t realize we’ve encountered this kind of man until it’s way too late.

Like one of my best friends. As awesome as she is and despite having so much to offer as a partner in a relationship, she has consistently been approached by married men. All of whom failed to disclose the fact that they were, by law, taken. I remember one guy who tried to approach her at a party thrown by a mutual friend, only for that mutual friend to come through at the end of the night and tell my BFF, “Um, he’s actually married.” When my girlfriend approached the man about his lies, he tried to explain that his wife was actually still living in Nigeria, and it was a marriage he was trying to get out of. He wanted sympathy and an open mind from my friend, but she wasn’t offering it because he lied from the moment he met her.

Then there was the most recent love interest whom she dated for months. He seemed like a good guy with a big heart, but that’s probably because he was sharing it with another woman. Like the Nigerian fellow at our friend’s housewarming party, this new guy actually waited until the relationship was over to divulge that he was married. Yes, he is married to a woman who lives abroad and also claims that he doesn’t want to be married to her anymore. (He married her to help her stay in America, but she went back to Grenada with their son.) He would go on to claim that she wouldn’t sign divorce papers. He disclosed this information after requesting my friend’s help with a legal matter. That so-called “baby momma,” was actually a wife now coming after him for child support since he wanted her to sign divorce papers.

And I’ve known plenty other women who’ve encountered guys who had a wife and two children waiting for them in Guyana while they tried to play bachelor. Another who introduced a girl to his father only to have a serious long-term girlfriend he hid in the background. And another whose angry ex called a friend of mine to say that she was pregnant and that there were many secrets her prospective romantic interest had failed to tell her. In all cases but the latter, these women were heavily in like, sometimes on their way to being in love with men who thought it would be easier to lie and create a fake facade than to be honest and upfront about who they were and what they had to offer. So these women were left in more pain than usual when they cut things off because they thought they’d found a good catch. And sometimes they were left second-guessing whether or not they should leave their relationships because they were so attached, despite having fallen for a lie.

And this is more common than you think. Even famous women like Tasha Smith and Tichina Arnold have both married and split from men who painted themselves as one thing, only to waste years trying to hide the truth that eventually came out: They were liars. Such bad liars, that in the case of Smith, her marriage was annulled after five years together because her husband had been married five times, had scores of children, and hadn’t paid his taxes in 10 years. All things he failed to divulge to her before asking for her hand.

I tried to relay these stories to my fiancé, specifically the one about the married men who had lied to my BFF, and he seemed confused.

“But if he’s trying to get out of the marriage, it’s not really that bad, right?” he asked. “He’s making an effort and the wife won’t move on.”

“No, because he never told her during their relationship that he was married,” I responded.

“Ooooooh, I didn’t know that. Well…that’s not good,” he said.

And he’s right. It’s not “good.”

I was left sad for my friends, and for women in general, who often get the worst rap in this dating game (we’re angry, bossy, too independent, blah, blah, blah) while the fake facades put on by some men are ignored. Sad that men who want to draw them in lead them on to believe that they genuinely care and are available when they’re really out here living a lie. Sad that when you try to do a background check on a man, people look at you like you’re crazy–and then these things happen. Sad that instead of just being honest about the fact that their personal lives are not in the best place and giving women they’re interested in a choice to decide whether or not they can hang, they deceive them into falling head over heels.

In case you were wondering, I don’t have a resolution for all this. I’m just as boggled and upset about it as anyone else, and wonder how we as women can guard ourselves while attempting to be “open,” as people tell us we should be when it comes to “letting love in.” How do we balance healthy skepticism with going into a situation trying to be trusting? How do we take a man’s word as the truth when it seems so many lie in the attempt to have their cake and eat it too?

In reality, dating is exhausting. The movies and TV shows would have you believe that folks are supposed to sweep you off your feet, and sh-t is supposed to be happily ever after. But no one talks about how much of a risk it is to put yourself out there in the quest for finding love. Especially when there are master manipulators out here willing to prey upon your search.

Have you ever found yourself emotionally trapped in a relationship? Has a guy made you believe a lie about him only for it to come out in the messiest of ways? 

That Was Quick: Shows With Black Leads That Weren’t Given A Chance Before They Were Canceled

April 30th, 2014 - By Victoria Uwumarogie
Share to Twitter Email This

Some shows hit their stride in a few episodes, and sometimes it takes a whole season. But before these shows could really gather an audience, they were axed because of low ratings, lack of good advertising to get ratings, and so-so writing. And sadly, that seems to be the norm for a lot of shows with black leads, as they’re not really given a good chance to blow up. Here are 11 shows that were cut quite quickly.




This spy series from the mind of J.J. Abrams starred Boris Kodjoe and Gugu Mbatha-Raw as a married couple of spies, who when recruited back into the CIA learn a lot about each other’s very interesting pasts. I actually enjoyed the program. It had action, the leads were gorgeous, and it was a s*xy show! But before the full first season could even be completed, NBC cancelled the show three months in. Guess people weren’t ready for black spies on primetime television.

A Second Chance: Meagan Good Returning To NBC For Sci-Fi Zombie Drama, “Babylon Fields”

February 18th, 2014 - By Victoria Uwumarogie
Share to Twitter Email This

Meagan Good Babylon Fields

Image Source:

In 2013, Meagan Good was tackling one of the biggest roles of her career, starring in the NBC drama, Deception alongside Laz Alonso and veteran actor Victor Garber. But after one season of Good’s character trying to solve the murder of her best friend, the show was cancelled four months after it premiered. The ratings weren’t there and neither was the following, so it was back to focusing on the sequel to Think Like A Man for Good, taking on a co-starring role in the Anchorman sequel, and doling out relationship advice with her husband, DeVon Franklin. But Good is getting another chance to star in her own show for NBC, and this time she’s delving into the science fiction realm.

According to Shadow and Act, NBC has given the green-light to the sci-fi drama pilot called Babylon Fields  about a town in New York where the dead are coming back to life, and coming back stronger than the living. Good will play Dr. Janine Beltran, and she will seek to find out if the town’s former residents who are coming back to life are what’s next in human evolution, (and try to figure out how to deal with such a creepy return). For me, this premise isn’t blowing my mind, but on paper, neither did The Walking Dead, and now it’s one of my favorites, so this could be a good one too. Either way, I’m glad to see Good getting new opportunities out here.

Do you think you’ll check out the show if it’s officially picked up by NBC? Or do you think the idea has already been done?

Halle Berry Takes Her Talent (And Beauty) To Television To Star In CBS Drama “Extant”

October 4th, 2013 - By Victoria Uwumarogie
Share to Twitter Email This

"Halle Berry pf"


Though summer just ended, you have a reason to look forward to next summer. And it’s not just because of the warm weather and the opportunity to walk the streets half-dressed. You should get excited because Halle Berry is coming to CBS to star in the new drama Extant. 

Steven Spielberg’s Amblin Television and CBS Television Studios will produce the 13-episode drama. Berry will star as an astronaut who comes home after a year by herself in space, and upon her return, she tries to bond with her husband and son again, but what she goes through in space and at home will for some reason lead to some “history-changing events.”

Yeah, I don’t really get the plot that much either, but I’m sure it will all make sense when the show premieres next summer. Berry issued a statement about her excitement to do the show, saying the following:

“I’m always on the lookout for amazing roles, and when you see material that contains this strong of auspices, nuance and complexity, it compels me to run toward it no matter the medium. For five months a year I’ll get to live with and play this incredibly intelligent and vulnerable woman, and for the remainder of the year I’ll continue to look for other roles that move me as deeply as this one.”

Steven Spielberg also shared his thoughts on the show’s development and having Berry in the starring role:

“There’s only one Halle Berry, and we are incredibly honored that she has chosen Extant to expand her illustrious career. As she does with everything she touches, she will bring a deep authenticity to her role and I very much look forward to working with her.”

This is really big news, as another black woman will be leading a cast on network television. Hopefully Berry will have more success than Meagan Good did with Deception on NBC (that wasn’t a bad show!) and that her fan base will tune in. We sure will! This has definitely been a good year for Halle, from her pregnancy, to her marriage, getting her anti-paparazzi bill made into a law, and now news of a new TV opportunity. Congrats, lady!

It Ain’t Just Physical! Signs He Might Be Having An Emotional Affair

September 21st, 2013 - By Brooke Dean
Share to Twitter Email This

Not long ago, I wrote an article on whether or not heterosexual male/female relationships can truly be considered “platonic.” While some debated that they may not start off that way, most agreed that male/female friendships can, in fact, exist. Don’t get me wrong, having friends of the opposite sex is perfectly acceptable; however, for some, there is a thin line between a healthy, platonic friendship and an emotional affair. If one is not too careful, a close intimate relationship can evolve into something deeper and while it may not be a physical relationship, the emotional intimacy of the relationship can be just as damaging, if not more, than a physical one. Sometimes it’s hard to tell when your partner is developing an emotional connection with someone else, but there are usually signs that his “friendship” with the other woman is detracting from the intimacy that rightfully belongs to you and your relationship. When his connection with someone else starts to have a negative effect on your relationship, you will be able to tell when it has crossed the line into an emotional affair by looking out for these tell-tale signs.

Deception Blueprint: How To Spot Lies In Business Conversations

June 4th, 2013 - By Ann Brown
Share to Twitter Email This

In business, especially during tough negotiations, no one likes to show their hand. Deals are made with poker faces. But it is always good to know how to spot a liar. Good liars don’t give away any obvious clues. But, a new study from the Harvard Business School and University of Wisconsin–Madison, gathered some insight into how liars give off more subtle clues.

For this study researchers asked study participants to play a commonly-used game in economics research in which one person was given a sum of money and asked to decide how much to share with another player, reports Inc. According to the game’s rules, the person on the receiving end could either accept or reject the money if they felt it was unfair, in which case both players got nothing. There’s also an opportunity wherein players could lie. “In the end, 30 percent of the players either flat-out lied about how much money they had or tried to avoid having the conversation,” writes Inc.

The study, “Evidence for the Pinocchio Effect: Linguistic Differences Between Lies, Deception by Omissions, and Truths,” was published in the journal Discourse Processes.

We Saw This Coming: NBC Cancels Meagan Good’s ‘Deception’ After One Season

May 9th, 2013 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
Share to Twitter Email This

Source: WENN

Source: WENN

After much speculation regarding the fate of NBC’s primetime soap opera, Deception, the network has officially confirmed that the thriller will not be renewed for a second season, says The Hollywood Reporter.

The murder mystery starring Meagan Good and Laz Alonso had a promising start, earning a 2.0 rating in the 18-49 year old demographic and 3.69 million viewers during the first episode; however, that success quickly diminished, averaging a mere 1.2 by the season finale.

Deception’s suffering ratings have been no secret and greatly contributed to premature reports and rumors of its cancelation. When asked about the rumors last month, actor Laz Alonso responded:

“We will find out in May if we got season 2. We have our fingers crossed, you know Megan and myself. We appreciate all the support we got this year. I mean people love the show and you know we will see what happens.  We have good feelings that we will be back for a season 2.”

Once the show’s cancelation was officially confirmed, Meagan took to her Twitter page to break the bad news to fans and express her gratitude for being given the opportunity.

Screen shot 2013-05-09 at 8.49.09 AM Screen shot 2013-05-09 at 8.49.27 AM

She also shared a message regarding Deception’s cancellation to her Instagram page.

Source: Instagram

Source: Instagram

Were you disappointed to learn that Deception has been canceled?


“We Have Our Fingers Crossed”: Laz Alonso Responds To Rumors That “Deception” Is Getting Canned

April 18th, 2013 - By Clarke Gail Baines
Share to Twitter Email This

"Laz Alonso"

In an interview with theJasmineBrand, fine actor Laz Alonso talked with the site about the future of the NBC drama Deception, which he stars on alongside Meagan Good. The show was getting a lot of buzz when it started. Good looking cast, pretty good storyline, black lead–what could go wrong?  But in all honesty, ratings for Deception began to dip pretty quickly after its premiere in January, starting off strong with more than 5 million viewers and dipping to 3 million by the time the season finale came around. And as we know from NBC’s track record, if a drama isn’t clocking big figures consistently, they’re not going to put money towards any more episodes. Undercovers anyone? In the site’s interview with Alonso, he seemed just as confused about whether the show will get a second chance as we are, but he’s definitely keeping it positive and has his fingers crossed:

“We will find out in May if we got season 2. We have our fingers crossed, you know Megan and myself. We appreciate all the support we got this year. I mean people love the show and you know we will see what happens.  We have good feelings that we will be back for a season 2.”

He also opened up about rumors that he might be practicing celibacy and got inspired by Good and her husband, Devon Franklin. While he claims he didn’t plan to, he says that if he decides to, that’s his business, and he won’t make it public like some people we know…:

I wasn’t, but if it was something that I considered, that is something that I would keep to myself. That is something very personal.  But I was asked on a red carpet that Megan and her husband practiced celibacy before they got married, if that is something that I would consider and I said yeah. If it is something that meant a lot to the woman that I was in love with and that was a vow that she had with God, I would respect that and be patient. That’s what it was and it just got blown out of proportion.

Well, as for Deception, let’s keep our fingers crossed like Alonso since we can never grow weary of seeing such a good looking man on our television screen every week–especially a talented one. But alas, we’ll have to wait and see what NBC has in mind.

Click over to theJasmineBrand to see the video interview in full and see more of the actor.

Did Meagan Good And Laz Alonso Have A ‘Thing’ For Each Other?

April 3rd, 2013 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
Share to Twitter Email This

Source: WENN

Source: WENN

Deception co-stars Meagan Good and Laz Alonso have amazing on-screen chemistry. From their steamy love scenes to their throwback friendship, it’s only natural for people to wonder if there has ever been something more than friendship between the two young and attractive Hollywood stars. During a recent interview with Black Enterprise, Laz discussed the nature of his relationship with Meagan and if the two have ever viewed one another in a more romantic light. Check out a portion of his interview below.

On his busy schedule sometimes prohibiting him from having a social life: 

 “It depends. I would say I have more of a social life when I’m filming just because you need that time to unwind more than when [you’re] not working. I’m more focused on working out, being healthy and cooking my own meals. When I’m working, I just don’t have time to do all that so [I] do tend to go out more for dinner and drinks, and really want to engage in social activity. But being an actor is very similar to being back in school again. You have a full day of things you have to memorize.”

“When you have 120 people that are relying on you to know your lines and deliver them with emotion and make it something believable, you can’t show up on set and not be prepared. This is NBC; this is the big leagues. Every minute that they go over because you weren’t prepared, it costs money. If it’s your fault why they’re going overtime, then you better believe you ain’t gon’ be working for too long in this business. You have to come prepared and play the role.”

On the type of love he has for Meagan:

“You always look out for the best interest of your co-stars, so it’s just being a friend and being protective. Sometimes [fans] start getting a little physical, and you got to let ’em know, like, Whoa! Slow it down; she ain’t going nowhere, but you got to stop trying to pull on her. Different fans show [a] different type of love, and Meagan’s fan base shows a very, very aggressive, strong love.”

On if he and Meagan ever had a “thing:”

“You know what, Meagan and I always had kind of like a younger sister-older brother kind of thing. When we did Stomp the Yard, this was back in ’06, she was a lot younger and I was just always really impressed with the stuff that she had done: her career path and what she had worked on before then. And then, I didn’t see Meagan again until Jumping the Broom [in 2011]. So four years had passed when I saw her again, and…she was an adult. It was like wow, you’ve done a lot in these four years. It was just good to see her playing an adult…playing Paula Patton’s maid of honor. It was just a different dynamic seeing her playing more mature roles.”


And there you have it.

Analysts Say ‘Deception’ Won’t Be Returning For Another Season

March 27th, 2013 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
Share to Twitter Email This

Source: Anthony Dixon/WENN

Source: Anthony Dixon/WENN

We’ve been hearing talk of Deception‘s plummeting ratings for some time now. While many had high hopes for the NBC series starring Meagan Good and Laz Alonso, it appears that the show’s performance hasn’t quite met expectations. Although the primetime thriller started off strong with 5.62 million viewers on its first night, the success quickly diminished, pulling in a mere 3.08 million on February 4th. Numbers have been rather shaky ever since. The show’s March 18th season finale finished with 3.41 million viewers.

Now, TV by the Numbers, an entertainment website dedicated to analyzing the success of television shows by viewership, boldly claims that Deception “is certain to be canceled.” The site says according to their renew/cancel index, they are sure that Deception will not be returning for a second season.

Considering the success of ABC’s widely popular political drama, Scandal, many predicted that Good’s show would’ve been shoo-in for television success.  While this certainly isn’t good news for Meagan, in the event that the show is canceled, we doubt she’ll have any trouble lining up other gigs. Just this month we told you that the 31-year-old Los Angeles native had been cast to play Ron Burgundy’s boss in  Anchorman: The Legend Continues. You know what they say: you can’t keep a good woman down.

So far there has been no word from the network regarding the future of the show, but we’ll be sure to keep you posted.

Would you be sad to see this show go? Did you check it out at all this season?