All Articles Tagged "book review"
By now you know the adage is true: “It’s not what you know; it’s who you know.” And regardless of your industry or title, having the right network of people around you can mean the difference between a failed entrepreneurial venture and startup success, or a languishing career trajectory and an office in the C-suite.
But the burning question remains, how do you navigate chamber of commerce meet-and-greets and LinkedIn groups to successfully build an overflowing Rolodex? And how do you ensure that those contacts are actually the right ones – people that can and will propel you forward in business and life?
These questions and more are answered in Networking is Dead: Making Connections That Matter (November 2012, BenBella Books), by Melissa G. Wilson and Larry Mohl.
Networking is Dead is written in fable form and tells the story of two colleagues (Meredith and Lance) who enlist the services of a “networking sensei” (Dan) to help whip their circles of contacts into proper shape.
As Meredith and Lance meet weekly with Dan, learning how to effectively build a bigger, better, stronger network, the reader is like a fly on the wall, privy to all of Dan’s insider tips for thoughtful and masterful connecting. Every question asked by Meredith or Lance is one that readers have probably wondered themselves, and each of Dan’s answers can be immediately plugged into the reader’s own playbook for future use.
Meanwhile, readers will likely identify more closely with one of the characters: Meredith is an outgoing social media pro who has tons of connections but feels that few are actually meaningful, while Lance is a shy accounting executive who just wants more connections, period.
The close of each chapter features a copy of Meredith and Lance’s weekly homework assignment, provided so the reader can follow the same path as the students. Tasks from week/chapter five, “Give First,” include: give wisely – not to receive, but to offer value – and get started by asking one of your partners what one thing he or she would like your help with.
In fact, much of the book focuses on the notion of a higher purpose for all of the constant “liking” and “following,” the idea being that in the process of climbing your own proverbial career ladder, you can – and should – pull up a couple folks with you. Read: Selfish pursuits must be checked at the door.
So does that mean you have to relegate yourself to a life of charitable lack, forgoing your own visions of success and prosperity? Hardly, say Wilson and Mohl. By focusing on authentically serving others, you will attract more opportunity than you could ever imagine.
Likewise, the authors suggest that readers examine their own connections, categorizing contacts into one of three groups: Exchanger, Giver, and Taker. The titles are self-explanatory, and though readers may feel inclined to fill their networks with as many givers as possible for their own personal gain, Wilson and Mohl urge professionals to seek out Exchangers, or those people who will be a constant resource for giving and receiving information and opportunities.
The authors also recommend that readers not rush the process: “Only by focusing on a few, high-quality connections – 10 or fewer at first – can you truly accelerate your goal achievement. It’s paradoxical, but starting small to grow a big network is the way to go.”
That said, if your sole purpose is to amass as many Facebook friends as possible, or your last Google search was “How to Get 5,000 Twitter Followers in 30 Days,” Networking Is Dead is probably not the book for you.
If, however, you want to grow your network organically and strategically, focusing on “connections that matter,” this is most certainly a must-read.
Andrea Williams is a journalist and writer based in Nashville, TN. For more, follow her @AndreaWillWrite.
This becomes a vicious cycle, completely emotionally exhausting. Over time, it looks like love addiction. Unable to bond in a healthy way, this couple bonds in an addictive way; I can’t live with you and I can’t live without you.
The draw to this kind of guy is powerful for women who are trying to heal their own childhood wounds. Deep down, she wants to bring him out of the darkness of his wounded soul, draw him into the light and heal him. By so doing, she proves something to herself — that she is special and worthy of the attention, love and desires of this compelling man. There’s just one tiny problem: it doesn’t work.
Contrary to fantasy fiction, you cannot heal the wounded guy with love. He needs several swift emotional kicks in the butt. He needs loads of “tough love,” not the “sweet, I-adore-you” kind of love you want to give him. His healing cannot come from you being his Mommy, the one he didn’t have before.
He needs to hit rock bottom and experience a dramatic loss before he can begin to heal. The pain of doing what he’s always done has to be greater than the pain of change. Because his wounds have compelled him to do so much damage, he needs to experience remorse. There are other steps, but they are best taken in a therapeutic setting, not in the course of a relationship. Big clue: most of them never do heal because they don’t allow themselves to be vulnerable enough to be hurt enough to have to change.
Read the rest of the article at YourTango.com.
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