It seems like we can’t go a month without hearing about some well-known man cheating on his slightly lesser-known wife. As I wrote about before, I don’t think all men cheat. I don’t even think most men cheat, but I can’t ignore the overwhelming evidence that shows that some men cheat. Often times, we focus on trying to figure out why men cheat and how to keep men faithful – two points I won’t be addressing today just so you know. Instead, I want to figure out what type of women are these men cheating with or as someone blatantly asked me recently, are women attracted to unavailable men?

Yes, sort of.

We hear in detail about the lowly, unsuspecting wife suffering at the hands of her adulterous husband, but it’s rare anyone talks about the mistress(es). While the wife is usually ignorant of the cheating, the not so secret secret is the fact that most mistresses know all about the wife. Stated another way, the “side woman” usually knows there is a “main woman” in the man’s life (I only use these terms because all too many people are settling for a pseudo-“it’s complicated”-relationship over no relationship at all in the year of our Lord 2013). It’s sad, but if the ever imploding relationships of celebrities – and their distant cousins, reality stars – have taught us anything, it’s the fact that most unfaithful men don’t have to lie to the woman they’re unfaithful with. It’s really no wonder why women find it difficult to even trust “good men.” After all, men aren’t doing themselves any favors.

As a man, you can generally comfort any relationship insecurities you might have by knowing that if your woman is going to be unfaithful, it’ll likely be with a man who is better looking, more famous, or richer than you. He will have some tangible quality that you can comfort your ego with later as you stalk her Facebook and Instragram photos of them jet setting and riding in his Lambroghini Mercy. To the degree that you can find comfort in cheating, at least there’s that. Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for unfaithful men’s not so discerning taste in women.

It’s bad enough that men are unfaithful, but when men are unfaithful, it just seems like they’re unfaithful with any woman they can manage to get their hands on. Tiger Woods, a billionaire mind you, cheated with about a baker’s dozen worth of women. That’s bad and I’ma let him finish, but what’s worse is the fact that most of those women weren’t attractive enough to inspire a drink purchase at a crowded club from the average man. And yet, for whatever reason, Tiger Woods went out of his way to destroy his marriage and career to sleep with them. In another egregious example, The Dream, who is built only moderately better than a life-size ewok, cheated on Christina Milian. If a woman who looks like Christina Milian can’t keep a man who looks like The Dream faithful, then what help is there for anyone? I could go on listing examples, but to drive this point home for you, I’ll paint this troubling picture for you: If you ask a random group of women to choose a husband between Barack Obama and Wiz Khalifa, an overwhelming majority of women will choose Barack Obama. Your poll results wouldn’t even be close enough to warrant a recount. Conversely, if you ask a group of men to choose a wife between Michelle Obama and Amber Rose, you’d practically have to involve the Supreme Court for a final ruling on the popular vote count.

Further, when it comes to dating, most women think they have less good men to choose from than men have good women to choose from. I don’t know if these women are right or wrong but if perception is reality, it’s no wonder why women are attracted to unavailable man. Although it might be more accurate to say women are attracted to what a committed man (usually) represents more than they are (usually) attracted to the man himself. If you’re single long enough – and not by choice – you notice that the single market isn’t exactly filled with husband and wife material. On the other hand, most committed men – as indicated by their relationship status – have some desirable quality or a number of desirable qualities that made the woman he’s with decide he was worthy of commitment. Additionally, side-women aren’t always interested in stealing your man from the relationship, but they aren’t going to let a little inconvenience like his current relationship status keep them from chasing him either. To be clear, most men know the type of women that’ll disrespect his relationship given the chance, so ultimately, it’s up to him to cut ties with those women before it’s too late; however, for some women, desiring a committed man isn’t much more complicated than a kid who isn’t interested in a toy until someone else starts playing with it.

Why do some women prefer unavailable men? Ladies, have you ever had a friend or foe that wasn’t interested in a man until they found out your official relationship status with him? Fellas, have you had experience with women not showing you any love until you started talking to their friend or got into a serious relationship?

WisdomIsMisery aka WIM uses his background as an internal auditor to provide objective, yet opinionated, qualitative and quantitative analysis on life, love, and everything in between. As a Scorpio, many women wish death on WIM and some have attempted to hasten its arrival. WIM is not a model, a model citizen, or a role model. See more of WIM on his weekly write-ups for SBM, on Twitter @WisdomIsMisery, and Instagram: WisdomIsMisery.

A few months ago, tennis champ Serena Williams was spotted in Milan seemingly wrapped in arms with her tennis coach, Patrick Mouratoglou. Everybody was talking about it because not only is he obviously much older than Serena but because it was also rumored that he was married.  Serena actually took to Twitter to ask a cameraman to stop taking pictures because it had people assuming false things.

See, this is why you shouldn’t lie about things when pictures tell the entire story.

Our good friends over at Hip Hop Wired have posted a gallery of pictures of Serena and Patrick super booed up over in Mauritius on a boat catching sun with friends as they begin training for the Australian Open. In the pictures, Serena is spotted kissing on him, he’s feeling on her boo-HOO-ty (that’s the R. Kelly voice) and the obligatory hand holding picture. She can tweet all she wants but I don’t know any other conclusion you can jump to other than this is more than a working relationship.

We know Serena hasn’t had the best luck with men over the last few years (even though some of you are still hoping for a reunion with Common) and it’d be nice to see her in a good relationship if that’s what she wants.  But if he’s married…Serena, you in trouble, girl.  The idea of her possibly dating a married man will likely not go over well with fans.

Here’s to hoping he’s not married and this works out because if not, she’ll be under major scrutiny and she’ll be looking for a new coach.

We’re going to keep an eye out on this one, for sure.

Kerry Washington is killing it each week, playing Olivia Pope, a D.C. communications expert/”fixer” on the hit show Scandal. The woman that Olivia is based on, Judy Smith, is a real life fixer, and she’s got quite the scandal on her hands.

Ad Age reports that Jill Kelley, the Tampa-based woman who sparked the FBI investigation that led to discovery General David Petraeus’ extramarital affair, has hired Smith’s firm, Smith & Co, for PR help. She’s already on the job, releasing the following statement on Kelley’s behalf.

We and our family have been friends with Gen. Petraeus and his family for over five years. We respect his and his family’s privacy and want the same for us and our three children.

On Friday, General Petraeus, the now-former director of the CIA, stepped down from his post after it was revealed that he had been having an affair with his biographer and former military member, Paula Broadwell. On Sunday, it was further revealed that what sparked the adulterous discovery was a report to the FBI from Kelley, who says she received “threatening emails” from Broadwell. The comment comes in the wake of suspicions that Kelley was also vying for Petraeus’ affections. Kelley is married with children.

“The e-mails related to Ms. Kelley’s relationship with Ms. Broadwell, according to government officials,” The New York Times writes. “Shortly after the F.B.I. began its investigation, its agents discovered that there had been e-mails between Mr. Petraeus and Ms. Broadwell that revealed they were having an affair.”

Kelley works for Central Command, which is located in Tampa. The Senate Intelligence Committee is conducting an investigation into why the White House and Congress weren’t alerted about the affair sooner, Ad Age continues. Kelley lodged her complaint last summer.

Smith is the co-executive producer of Scandal and has experience working with high-profile situations including the Monica Lewinsky scandal, the Gulf War, and the Supreme Court’s confirmation hearings for Clarence Thomas. You can visit her website here.

In the latest news about the investigation, Defense Secretary Leon Panetta told reporters that “a matter involving” another high-ranking military official, Gen. John R. Allen, the American and NATO commander in Afghanistan, has been brought to the Pentagon.

Everyone has found themselves in a hurtful, disastrous or even simply confusing relationship a time or two in their lives. If you’re fortunate and wise enough, you learn from past relationship mistakes and grow from them. But for others, heart breaks happen over and over again because they repeat these mistakes, even when there are overpowering signs that their destructive behaviors are sabotaging any chances of a happy partnership. It’s bad relationship karma, and if you think the Love Gods have turned their backs on you, maybe it’s because you are attracting what you are…and life is mirroring what you are portraying or putting out into the Universe. If you’re not happy with the way your relationships have been going and you think the energy you’re giving isn’t giving you anything back, here are some ways to improve your relationship karma…and possibly get you the love you want.

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It takes two to tango…and two to cheat, yet some women solely blame the other woman when an infidelity has been discovered. After all, the lion’s share of the blame should be on the betrayer, the one who is actually in the relationship, right?  And although the other woman bears some responsibility as well, especially if she knew the man was married or in a relationship, it can be argued that she doesn’t deserve the majority of it. So why do we sometimes feel compelled to blame the other woman for a man’s cheating ways? Let’s explore these possibilities.

Admit it, how many of you have thought about cheating on your significant other? Ever fantasize about a friend or co-worker…a complete stranger while you’re booed up?  If you’ve ever been in a long term relationship, sometimes the thought has crossed your mind a time or two – not because you’re no longer in love, but simply because you’re bored or need some excitement. You’d never act on these fantasies…or would you? Some feel that your ability to cheat is directly tied to one’s own level of personal integrity and self-respect, as well as one’s commitment to their mate. But can a good person “slip?”

Infidelity can happen anywhere, at any time if you’re not careful, so here are some warning signs – along with behaviors to avoid – to prevent yourself from falling into an “accidental affair.”

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Some women took Tammy Wynette’s song “Stand By Your Man” to the absolute extreme. Amid political corruption, love children and scandalous affairs these wives have held it down for their men, many times defending them until the bitter end.

Check out this list of ride or die wives at Black Enterprise.com.

Let’s say you met a man spontaneously at a bar. He is charming, handsome and all together captivating. You spend the next several hours together, talking  and getting to know each other’s bodies a little bit better. [But no sex.) You end the night on a high, only to find out a few days later that homeboy is married.

Womp!

How do you handle the situation? Well this very thing really happened to a writer for Your Tango.com. You can read her full story and see how she handled it here.

If your husband cheated on you, would you take him back?  Or, would you kick him to the curb with the force and accuracy of a NFL placekicker?

It is relatively safe to state that adultery has become a commonplace component of our society even though cheating should not be the norm. To be sure, forgiveness of such transgressions is essential to overcoming the spiritual and emotional hurt and pain.  But, how many times should you forgive?

Although the following list is not all-inclusive, it does represent some of the reasons why certain wives willingly take their cheating spouses back:

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We’re not really asking for a dollar amount, but wow $750 million? Really, Tiger Woods? Tiger and Elin’s divorce meetings are in the final stages and the deal is beyond big.

We guess Elin knows much more than the couple originally led us to believe.

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