Surprising Ways You’re Hurting His Feelings

December 15, 2011  |  
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I know we’re trained to believe women are more sensitive than men. It’s partially true, and it partially just looks that way because a) men are taught to suck it up and b) men don’t like confrontation, so they don’t always tell you when you’ve hurt their feelings. But you probably have, if you’ve done this:

Dismiss his work:

A man’s work is a large part of who he is. Men are providers by nature. Maybe it doesn’t seem like he is aspiring for much right now. Maybe he is just starting out in his work. But if you poke fun at his job, or just don’t ask him about it at all, that offends his manhood big time. If men are meant to be providers, and you’re criticizing the thing that makes him a provider, then you’re saying he isn’t totally a man.


The shoulder tap during sex:

Women are conscious of whether or not they give good head, and so are men. Even if it’s not something that turns you on that much, let him get down there and show you what he’s got. Don’t squirm around, and don’t give him the shoulder tap, signaling him to come up. He will feel incompetent in bed.

Not introducing him:

You may run into an old friend—a male friend—while out with your boyfriend, who you are so excited to catch up with, that you dive directly into conversation, forgetting to introduce your silent boyfriend at your side. It may seem harmless to you, but your guy will feel like a total tool if his woman just gets to chat away with another man, and act as if he isn’t there.


Not letting him help in front of others:

I know—you can do it yourself. You can fix the car yourself, or reach the top shelf, or clean the dishes. And if you tell your boyfriend that—I don’t need your help—he isn’t going to push it. But if this happens in front of your friends or parents, they subconsciously read him as a little lazy. Give him the chance to help, even if you don’t need it.

Cancelling at the last minute:

Men are more spontaneous than women. We often get annoyed because they don’t ask us to hang out until twenty minutes before they want to do so. So, we figure, what’s the harm in cancelling at the last minute on the dinner he planned for us? The problem is that he finally tried to break his no-plans-pattern and make a plan, and you squashed that plan. Any time a guy makes a change for his woman, he puts his balls in her hands a little bit. If you don’t recognize that change, you’re busting his balls.

Joking about his generosity:

It can be fun to tease our boyfriends for being lazy, or joke about every anniversary and birthday they have forgotten. You may not even be upset about these incidents, but your friends don’t know that. If you constantly joke about your boyfriend being a bad boyfriend in front of friends or family, they might actually begin to think he is one. And he will worry about that.

Teasing his looks:

Let the point be made loud and clear—MEN HAVE BODY ISSUES TOO! Don’t poke the beer belly he is grown since you got together. Don’t make “fat*ss” jokes when he grabs a doughnut. Of course men want to look good too! Aside from being your sweet, funny, smart boyfriend, he wants to feel like you want to jump his bones sometimes. He won’t feel that way if you’ve given him some nickname like Jelly Belly.

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