7 Reasons Why Nice Guys Finish First

55 comments
November 15, 2011 ‐ By Kschlicher

"nice guys finish first"There’s always been a debate between “nice guys” and “bad boys.”  For some reason women feel a sense of thrill of the unknown when it comes to instability of a bad boy.  On the other side, nice guys often get the reputation as a floor mat, with a weak backbone. So in the long-term, after the drama of high school, hierarchy of college, and politics of the work world, which guys “win?”  Explore this question by taking a look at 7 reasons nice guys actually end up the champion.

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  • Michael Thompson

    Eff that
    I don’t pick up any pieces
    That’s gross cause that means I’m a scavenger for sloppy seconds

  • nick

    Where can I find a quality woman? I’m from NJ. Most people from NJ are bad/toxic and online dating has the worst people who are so hurtful.

  • David43515

    Sorry but as a “nice guy” I`ve gotta say #6 is a royal pain. Yes, I may be there to comfort you and show you the respect you really deserve, but it gets old really fast when I realize that 3/4 of the greif you`re giving me isn`t because of anything I`ve done. It`s because you had lousy taste in men before and assume we`re all the same. And I won`t stop calling because I “wasn`t ready to commit”. I`ll stop because I`m tired of cleaning up the mess your ex left behind.

    • nick

      Well said

  • Melanie

    The drug dealer should never be an option unless you truly view yourself as a “hoodrat itch”. I rather a man to be interesting and responsible with an aggressive streak. Not mean but knows how to get things done. The whole nice guy is financially stable is not so true. You have to base it on the field he works in. And right now the market is not stable for anyone, no matter how “nice” you are. Also I’ve meet guys and girls that are just nice to get what they want but have a real hate towards the people they deal with. Everything needs a balance. You don’t ever want the nice guy thats doormat. 

    • Sumishzone

      you are fucked up s**t no guys ever want you.. every guys has to raised by their fathers not by mother. nice guy is been too nice cos he is been raised by his mother. its not the women’s way guy should be grown up if he raised by women he would be same like her. raise every sons by their fathers till he grown up. nice guys will be vanished if every guys would raised by their fathers

    • mr human

      melanie you suc…

    • superguy

      A nice guy does not mean he’s a pushover, doormat, or weak person. A nice guy simply means he doesn’t play games, he’s confident and consistent with himself melanie you been feeded by your past ancestors calling him nothing melanie he has more value than your what you call balance women think of that

  • SayWhat?

    I’m sorry, but what planet are these “good guys” on?

    I don’t do thugs, but to date  —- whether he’s educated or not, they all seem to be real losers.  And I’m not interested in carpet munchers.

    Please provide a map or atleast a 3000 mile radius as to where these men are……….

  • T_beauty100

    It’s all about maturity. I’m blk 25 professional & has never been pregnant. Ppl tend to get caught up in certain “types” or trends instead of showing interest in someone that treats them with respect. I find all types of men handsome &they tend to compliment me as well but just because someone shows me attention or is nice doesn’t mean he is my husband. Women or becoming desperate & are tolerating anything. I want to marry 1 man &share my life forever with him & will not settle until he finds me. My grandma told me a man finds his wife so a woman should never search for a man. Good & bad men recognize good women so choose wisely. I have faith in God so I trust my man will be worth the wait. Ladies step your game up on these “bad boys” they’re not so bad anyways cowards! Lol teamniceguys

    • ruggedly handsome

      That is the dumbest thing I ever heard and most women say that nonesense just because he is a good man doesn’t mean he is the right man for me.

      STOP

      Listen to the logic that means if you end up with someone who mistreats you that person is the right person for you just because you end up with that person.

      The reality is most men and women both make this mistake you will only get one maybe two people in your life that God might bless you with that truly cares about you that’s it. I think people must think that their 100s of people out there that will care about not so. If you let that person go then you won’t get them back and then people ask ok why is it seem as if I am 40 or 50 and I won’t end up someone and regret leaving a good person it is because of their arrogrance.

      You know sometimes God brings people in our lives because they are the right one we just to blind to see it. Also that is another problem see most women think that they don’t have to do anything it is all the man this that and the other he never created relationships to be one sided and then when relationships fall a part then who is the blame ?

    • nick

      You’re wonderful!

  • MRSW

    Married Mr. Nice Guy…and he is everything I want and need…oh, and he gets to brag that he married the Cheerleader-girl that his nice-guy friends never thought he could catch.

    • nick

      Where are the mrs.w’s in this world? There are none in NJ

  • casey

    me and my brother was raised by god loving nice single black man  my mom just left and never look back cause she liked the dope dealer bad boy

  • MissBloggerville

    Where are all the articles about good girls finishing last?  It is assumed that women make mistakes while dating, but not men.  Surely, there are men who date women who are “bad girls” until they realize that they need to grow up and start dating better women.  Why are women constantly held to a higher standard than men?

    • MRSW

      Good girls don’t finish last…..they just laugh at good men who marry t.r.i.c.k.s…..and wait for them to come back after the divorce.

      • MissBloggerville

        They needn’t return……

    • ruggedly handsome

      I don’t think women have signs on their heads good girl bad girl signs most men just happen to mess with a woman who turns out to be a woman that ain’t right a lot of women claim to be good women really wanting a good man but when put to the test he gets dismissed. Women it comes to women a man that is a bad guy she already knows in fact most women admit that they want a bad man so they are conscience of what they do. When men say they want a good woman they mean they want a good woman. Don’t get me wrong their probably are a few men like that who want bad girls but the majority of men when they want someone good they want someone good that’s the difference.

      I don’t just say that I want a good woman and turn around and dismiss her I would be stupid and crazy at that because I would defeat my purpose the problem is most women act good even if they are not so it’s hard to tell with them.

      • MissBloggerville

        I disagree.  I say this to you with the lightest of hearts, but you sound like one of those men who feels that men shouldn’t be responsible for their bad choices, and women should.  NOBODY has a sign on their heads which indicates mood/temperament.  That has to be established while dating..  Is your argument that women can pick up on bad vibes immediately and men cannot?  I also disagree that women in general dismiss “good”men a label that is completely subjective.  But I WILL give you THIS.  A woman is more, IMO, likely to try and nurture a man into realizing his full potential.  Women will put time and energy into a man expecting to see positive results.  On the other hand men “run for the hills” (or sometimes TAKE and run) when they come across broken women.

        Sounds, to me, like you are posting from a bad place, and I’m not talking about your domicile.   

         :o)

        • Black Rob

          no what ruggedly was referring to was that with bad boys most times when they will date a man and be into him if they already know he is a bad boy. Alot of women are  turned on by bad boys especially in their younger days. Most men when looking for a mate are not looking for a bad girl, most times they want the known bad girls for fun only. The problem is with the women that portray the wifey material and turn out to be different, which is how those men end up with that long term. There are circumstances where this happens to women as well but most won’t run away from the situation with the bad boy…..They hear it all of the time all of the pros of a bad boy so thats what they are intrigued about

          i’m not excusing any person’s behavior but these behavior traits are relevant given it’s become very prevalent in today’s society

          • MissBloggerville

            “no what ruggedly was referring to was
            that with bad boys most times when they will date a man and be into
            him if they already know he is a bad boy.”

                  What do you consider a “bad boy”?
            You have to be more clear. I am assuming you mean a young man who
            exhibits a great deal of machismo. Which, he’s learned along the
            way, gets him girls.

            “Alot of women are turned on by bad
            boys especially in their younger days.”

                 Young women should be given the same
            room to grow (and make mistakes) as young men. A young woman of
            15-25 is very different when she reaches 26-35. When a womans
            needs start to change her choices will adjust accordingly.

            “Most men when looking for a mate are
            not looking for a bad girl, most times they want the known bad girls
            for fun only. The problem is with the women that portray the wifey
            material and turn out to be different, which is how those men end up
            with that long term. There are circumstances where this happens to
            women as well but most won’t run away from the situation with the
            bad boy…..They hear it all of the time all of the pros of a bad
            boy so thats what they are intrigued about”       You must
            understand that when men settle down they are settling down with
            some other mans former “good time girl”. Unless you are dating
            a virgin, I don’t understand how most men don’t realize that the
            woman they are settling down with was a young woman who’s had some
            “fun”. Also, what is “wifey” material? Men need to check
            their standards pre monogamy. Why do they settle down with certain
            women in the first place?  People just don’t do 360’s. They don’t
            become a completely different person without outside stimulus. Why
            is the woman a man is dating/married to CHANGING so much from the
            gem he married?

            • http://www.thecobraslair.com Cobra

              But you just explained it yourself right here…

              “Unless you are dating
              a virgin, I don’t understand how most men don’t realize that the
              woman they are settling down with was a young woman who’s had some “fun”.”

               Pookey and Ray-Ray are a whole lot of “fun.”   They’re a six pack full of drama and you really don’t have to care about their feelings, because Lawd knows they don’t care about yours. You know they’ll hit it right, because they already had half  your friends in the (block, school, gym, church, work…etc) and sistas talk.  So it makes sense that many sistas want dudes like that if they want to scratch an itch.

              ” The problem is with the women that portray the wifey
              material and turn out to be different, which is how those men end up with that long term.”

               Of course they do. In order to be a wife, you have to agree to marry somebody. That means you have to say yes at some point to a dude who asks you questions over sometime.  The nice guy, especially the nice BLACK guy, doesn’t get told “yes” a whole lot, and dating is a numbers game.  That’s how women with issues, baggage, baby daddies, etc. get over on the same kind of guys they put on blast ten years ago.

              “Young women should be given the same
              room to grow (and make mistakes) as young men. A young woman of 15-25 is very different when she reaches 26-35. When a womans needs start to change her choices will adjust accordingly.”

               Yeah, but for many women it’s too late. White, Asian and Latina Women have more marriage opportunities than Black women, so the odds would suggest sisters sew those oats a lot sooner than their peers. That pool of “husband material” Black men isn’t gonna wait for them to come visit if there are other options on the table.

  • ???

    Nice guys finish first because we stop dating Black AMERICAN women early.

    • MRSW

      You are just stupid….my husband is black..so are the husbands of every black friend I have that is married.  Shut up please.

      • ruggedly handsome

        Thank you Black Unity, Black Love is a Beautiful Thing God created Black Men and Women for each other because we meet each others needs. It’s just Blacks finding the right Black Person instead of blaming on our own race. When other races do dirt to each other just as much or more so then Black folks do but they will struggle to make stuff work in their race.

    • ruggedly handsome

      that’s the same this Black Women are saying but I wonder when it comes to other races of people who really gain Blacks or them my take is them so who’s getting played blacks of course by other races. I can understand that blacks want to be appreciated and that is the core reason they go outside their race. Also why other races try to play on them and of course nothing stops Blacks from understanding other races mistreat each other probably more so then us. You can work on appreciation in the Black race if Blacks take the time to teach it to all Blacks.

  • L-Boogie

    Girls, like good guys with an edge.  Meaning a guy that will protect you from harm yet treat you kindly.  

    • Hmmmmm

      Im going to push back L. I have heard many women I know talk about men having an “edge.”

      Good has no edges. 
      Being willing to protect someone does not require edges. “Good men” AND “Nice Guys” have gone to war for centuries. And “edge” is not required to love a woman, support a woman, protect a woman, lead/ follow a woman. 

      What is the “edge?”

      • L-Boogie

        Okay, HMMMMM.  An edge is doing something out of the ordinary.  I do not mean you to go upside my head or shake the ish out of me.  I can do without that.  Just someone willing to try something new and not be so quick to dismiss it.  Sometimes “nice guys” play things too safe.  I am not asking you to rob a bank or commit murder just try something out of your comfort zone.  

        • http://www.thecobraslair.com Cobra

          “Edge” means different things to different people, IMHO. It’s as though many women want to have two men at the same time…one for the sex, drama and entertainment, and another to handle the routine responsibilities of life.

          –Cobra

    • Sugar/Spice

      Couldn’t agree with you more

      • L-Boogie

        BOO!

    • Po3ticsutra

      L-boogie why do some women feel like they have to be protected all the time? What is there to be afraid of? That is something that I don’t get. I get the what you are saying about edge basically you want a nice guy but he can be a little rough at times.

      • L-Boogie

        I cannot speak for every woman.  But I can say this.  No, girl wants to be roughed up.  Well, not the way I think you mean it.  Look when ish hits the fan, it is important that someone has your back. Point Blank!  POW!  

  • Hmmmmm

    I
    understand what the author is trying to do and why the ladies keep
    pushing back on the nice guys finish first stuff (it is admirable)
    but it is not true….in dating, sexing, office politics, and so on. 

    The declaration that nice guys win is self-preservative for women and
    nice guys. I understand why women sell it….but I know – and most
    men know – it is not true….and it’s cool really. We can stop
    fronting. Most men accept it. Some try to buck it and do succeed. But most
    just play by the rules. 

    There is no flip side to this by the way. Men
    don’t usually seek out women with “ a little bad in them.” At
    least not to settle down with. Not even Bad Boys.

    Nice
    is static, boring. It is not exciting and most women I know like
    excitement in men…..even if they themselves are not exciting. Nice
    guys can end up married to the girl. But even with everything in
    place she will fantasize about the bad boy. And truth be told the bad
    boy with the right combination CAN have her when the the nice guy is
    not around or the nice gets boring. Of course this not true in all
    cases but if we are being real about men and women most of us have
    more than a few examples to prove this point. Like I said it’s cool

    I
    by the way am not a nice guy. I am a good man but nice is not my
    thing….and it works more often than not in every area that matters.
    After all, this is not a nice world.

    • Brian K

      I agree with what you are saying, and i would consider myself to be a nice guy too.  Most of the attractive women want a bad guy when they are young.  Not necessarily a guy who deals drugs etc but one who is a player, slacks in life because they don’t care and has some street credibility.  They mature after they have been hurt or treated badly, or they want to lead a lifestle that leaves them open to potentially date a nice guy, but the problem is they are damaged after relationships with such guys.  And a lot of these same women think that men are in a race to get them and that life is actually about them just deciding what they want; bad boys when they are young and then a nice guy to get married.  But life doesn’t work like that.

      However there are lots of good girls out there, raised by two parents with fathers that put good values in them.  Some are dimes, a lot are not but you have to compromise some things for a good personality and loyalty.  The problem is all women honestly believe they are good, innocent and are entilted to a nice guy.  But they are just like men, some are good and some are not.

  • Why Me?

    By the time black women want nice guys they have two or three kids already.  As a guy in my mid-thirties with no children:  NO THANKS.

    • Guest

      I want a nice guy and Im 23 with no kids.

  • Darkman

    Nice guys finish dead last!!!
    After the the bad boys are finished destroyed the pretty ones (babies, bad habits), pretty one finally take a look at Mr. Nice.
    Too late, baby mamas!!! Mr Nice is married with that ordinary girl, bad didn’t want to play with. He’s a happy husband and dad.

    But Mr Nice and Ordinary Girl have the last laugh at the school reunion where Bad boy and Pretty girl are No show…

    • cutily

      If you are happy with the ordinary girl, that’s good for you!

      • Darkman

        Yes, and it’s better for the kids to have 2 responsible parents than a single struggling mother: I spend part of my time playing th substitue dad for my kids friends….

        • cutily

          I’ve been raised by a strong single mother she is a doctor so I had it easy. She never let any other man in our lives (in fact we rejected her husband almost instantly, they only took things serious when my sis and I moved out).

          I now have a masters degree in business and tax law, I’m 25 and doing pretty good. I won’t have kids if I’m not married and have good moral values I think. I’m responsible.

          But I’m not ordinary, I’ve been raised to know what I want and to fight for it. Not to be a nice and empty sweet girl.

          • Darkman

            No offense: I didn’t mean single mothers are all victims of bad boys, some might have encounter Mr. Wrong, the twin of Mr. Nice. It just sad to see so many kids without father anound…

            • Offthepink

              That’s usually the case in the black community, though. No need to apologize for someone else’s bad choice in a mate. She didn’t know what a good man was, got with some irresponsible BOY, and now that he’s gone (jail or some girlfriend he was seeing on the side while he was with gf #1), she’s stuck raising his brat.

    • Cmiles683

      I totally agree nice guys finish last. They are left with the sour taste of bitterness the results of mistreatment by the bad guys.

    • ruggedly handsome

      I think it works itself out if you think about you know a woman is then trapped so she may act arrogrant and yet a good woman is humble knowing that she as a good woman will appreciate a good man so she is not going to let him go and he is not going to let them go but trust those messed up women or the ones who act good believe that it balances itself out.

    • Michael Thompson

      But it bothers me they expect us to pick up them up after they have been used up

  • cutily

    Are you saying that we have to date ugly guys because they will be quiet and nice?! 

    So called “nice guys” cannot handle me I’m too blunt and honest for that, but it doesn’t mean I like bad boys. It just means that I like regular guys who will be able to tame me sometimes when I’m going over the top and also be good to me in my normal days.

    A lot of nice guys just worship us, and that’s not attractive at all.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GAZPJBFRUOEBE2NUCQPZEI7CPQ Dana

      wow….have fun with ray ray and pookie…i hope you live happily every after :3

    • MRSW

      “Tame” you…w.t.f. does that mean?

      • cutily

        It means when you are feeling yourself a little too much he will be the one to tell you to go down to earth. Just like I will do the same for him.

    • ruggedly handsome

      so you want someone to treat you like a dog are you listening to yourself
      “I like regular guys who wiIl like regular guys who will be able to tame me sometimes”

      you are suppose to have self control over yourself someone taming you sometimes means you have no self control what kind of nonesense is that seriously. You get marriage you are suppose be submissive to your husband in other words you are suppose to trust his leadership and he is supposet to look out for our best interest not train you. Then people ask why relationships have such disfunction.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JAI4SRENU2A5WKRTELXXYJPDSI Kayla

    girls like bad boys. when you are mature then you go for nice guys.  i say mature because i’m 19 and mature, and i don’t go for bad boys. and you still have grown woman acting like they are in highschool.  

  • HARDMIKE

    It doesnt matter if you’re a nice guy or bad boy, it matters if thats what the woman wants, heck women in the 30s who are professional still  date drug dealers.

No thanks