7 Reasons Why Nice Guys Finish First
There’s always been a debate between “nice guys” and “bad boys.” For some reason women feel a sense of thrill of the unknown when it comes to instability of a bad boy. On the other side, nice guys often get the reputation as a floor mat, with a weak backbone. So in the long-term, after the drama of high school, hierarchy of college, and politics of the work world, which guys “win?” Explore this question by taking a look at 7 reasons nice guys actually end up the champion.
Accomplishing short-term goals often involves using people and discarding them just as fast. But long-term goals require sustained effort. Long-term relationships require a level of trust beyond what’s naturally extended to a stranger. The “bad boy,” aka jerk, can pick up a lot more dates than the nice guy because they’re typically unpredictable and dominant, which girls are initially intrigued by. However, this is only an initial attraction. If you don’t become the nice guy fairly quickly, your long-term odds of success are pretty limited. Bad boys are only fun for so long, and it’s up to the guy to make a move to Niceville before the woman grows tired of waiting for maturity, true confidence and sustainability in her man.
Sure, when you see a good-looking, toned guy walk into the room, you might catch yourself staring in awe. However, a recent study at UCLA found that women really are drawn to muscles, at least in the short term. The idea is that muscles in human males are similar to the elaborate tail feathers of male peacocks that are used to impress the females. The study found that muscular men also tend to have more sexual partners, due to the fact that women tend to choose buff guys as their one night stands and short term flings. When it comes to relationships, women prefer the less-brawny dudes to the super-buff ones. Of course there are certain exceptions to this rule and yes, some nice guys are buff too, but guys who spend more time at the gym, staring that themselves sweating in the mirror, instead of at home with their wife, could be considered less of a “nice guy” and more, let’s say, “conceited.”
The definition of nice guy might not be what you’d expect. A nice guy does not mean he’s a pushover, doormat, or weak person. A nice guy simply means he doesn’t play games, he’s confident and consistent with himself, and he has strong core values and morals. Since when did “nice” get such a bad rap? And when did “bad” become the desired quality of a mate? Listen to your intuition and then ask yourself if “bad” is really the right choice.
A nice guy can be described as a “people person” and often is a skilled communicator. This skill should not be overlooked and will help in job interviews and workplace meetings. Therefore, people are attracted to nice guys and are more likely to assist and help them succeed. Bad guys don’t last long in the corporate world and, like the point mentioned before, any success will most likely be short lived. A foundation built on sand will eventually crumble, but a foundation built on cement with last forever.
Typically, the girls that go for bad guys have their own issues to begin with. Women who end up with cheaters, more likely than not have a history of such relationships. Therefore the issue lies within the woman as well. In the same way, confident and independent women are more likely to pick the “nice guy” and look over the bad guy facade and unreliability. Nice guys win in this scenario because they waste less time with girls looking for materialistic things and short-lived satisfaction found in bad boys. Nice guys give security, which can be sniffed out by a confident, stable, and goal-oriented woman. However, girls seeking bad boys are often looking for lust over love, and therefore blinding themselves from obvious warning signs and negative values.
Once a bad relationship goes sour, which it always does, women often seek out a partner with opposite qualities of their ex. Learning from their mistakes, women will use the “nice guy” friend as a shoulder to cry on and he will most likely reaps the benefits of her broken past. Even a new man can come into her life and shine, compared to her rusty, cheating ex. Nice guys are involved in less drama and usually have thought about their future, what they look for in a woman, and all around possess the purest motives.
Bad boys might have more relationships, but they certainly will not have better, stronger relationships. Just like the saying goes, “quality over quantity.” Bad boys might be flocked by women in college, and desired in the work world, but few settle down before their “nice guy” counterpart. The whole time bad boys are dealing with woman after woman, nice guys sideswipe the drama and cruise down the road of success, keeping their eye on the prize of fulfilling relationships and finding quality partners.