Back in the day, when “baes” were “gentleman callers” and Netflix was drive-in cinema, most men – hindered by the absence of Tinder and other swipe-for-sex platforms – didn’t have the liberty to simply get what they really wanted (ahem, a little easy sex here and there).
Parents watched like a hawk as men courted their daughters in the safety of their homes.
“Getting it on” without the investment of courtship, marriage, and all that other committal stuff, was one devil of a job for a man. And at the time, most would have thought twice – real long and hard – before asking a young lady to be his “other woman.”
Fast forward to 2017, and holy sh** how times have changed!
Men don’t even bat an eye to ask forward requests like, “So how do you feel about being my side chick?”
It’s happened to me and, honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever felt more disrespected in my life.
I was on my way to take advantage of a free class offered at a university in lower Manhattan. Deprived of an umbrella, I got caught in an out-of-the-blue rain storm, and I arrived at the front desk as wet as a fish.
The receptionist, a man in his late 20s, did his due diligence and asked for my ID to document my attendance in the building. And then, he started chatting me up. “You got a pretty face, mami.”
Soaked and tardy, you can imagine that I just wasn’t in the mood, but I appreciated the compliment. It made my day.
“Thank you,” I replied tersely, anxious to get to the classroom.
He asked me if I was single; I told him yes which prompted him to ask, “So how do you feel about going out with a fine Puerto Rican n***a like me?”
“Fine” was debatable, but I reasoned that I would just block him if things ended up going awry. I said “sure.” We exchanged numbers and I flew up the stairs into the classroom.
As I hopped on the train to get back home after class, he sent over a flurry of texts that had my jaw dropping down to the ground:
Preposterous!
A tiny part of me found his honesty to be refreshing. I could have been dragged into his nasty harem of women he roped up from the university lobby. But for the most part, I was appalled at the request – not to mention offended and insulted. A flood of questions inundated my mind to make sense of this guy’s faulty logic:
What misogynistic delusions must he have about women that he actually thinks I’m desperate enough to be a side chick?
Does he realize that there is nothing remotely attractive about his offer, which, by the way, would only lead me to feel devalued and used?
If he’s out there thottin’ and boppin’ around town with God knows how many chicks, why does he care if I’m single or not?
Does his “main” know that he’s on the hunt for side dishes?
Of course, I blabbed about this brazen approach to my friends, and to my surprise, these “offers” aren’t all that rare. Side chick requests are shockingly more common than I ever thought. Most of the women in my social circle have been shamelessly asked to be “the other woman.”
“They’ll tell you they’re with someone and assume you’ll be all ‘I wouldn’t mind being second place to a guy who’s that honest.” my friend said.
“Plus,” she added, “They have the added benefit of telling you, ‘Well, you already knew what this was when you got with me’ should an issue ever arise.”
And what benefit do I get out of it? Slobbing the knob of some rakish receptionist who wants to drag his schlong through every wet cavity that walks through the lobby? Oh, how enticing! (Yes, that was sarcasm)
I’ll bet you my life that those same men offering “side chick” positions would have their head spinning in chauvinistic convulsions at the thought of being asked to be a side dude. Just imagine their faces if I asked, “Hey, want to be a part of my penis posse?”
What about you? Have you noticed an uptick in brazen requests from men?
Kimberly Gedeon is a content creator with nearly 2,000 professional articles published online. Say hello to her on Twitter @sweetenedcafe or Instagram @kimmiexsweetie. She doesn’t bite.
