Why Your Guy Friend Is Not “Just A Friend”

October 24, 2011  |  

Can Men and Women Just Be Friends?

You’re boyfriend is sick and tired of you telling him about that guy who’s supposedly your friend. Depending on his temperament,  he may make a big stink about it but he isn’t buying it. Unlike you, your man is pretty in tune with how other guys think. Not that he’s smarter than you… he’s just a man too.

Just because you’ve committed to not sleeping with some guy does not mean he shares your intentions. There are plenty of legitimate instances where you can be just friends with a man but sometimes women cast the friend net too far, trapping all kinds of men in a weird “friend-but-not-really” space.

If any of your guy “friends” can be described by the following relationships, you might want to start calling dude something else. Give your man a break.

"Met Him at the club"

You met your “friend” at a club.

Come on. Really? No one goes to a club to meet a great friend. Every guy in that club is hoping to get lucky that very same night. He’s only settling for your number. Some guys go as far as settling to be your “friend,” hoping that one day, he might still get lucky with that chic he met at the club that time. That chic is you.

"Reminisce on the love you had"

You remember having sex with him.

The bitter sweet thing about a man and woman being friends is that sex can always find some way to wiggle in. Especially when things get slippery. But if you’ve actually had sex with homeboy, he is either your ex, or some dude you’re no longer shagging. Calling him a “friend” is just withholding the truth from yourself or someone else – probably your boyfriend.


"He Always Liked You"

He always wanted you.

These guys are the worst. It’s that same guy from the club a year or more later. He hung around so long that now he actually is a friend. Your man is forced to see him from time to time and always clowns him behind his back. He’s a wimp. But he’s cool. That’s your homey.

"He Always Listens"

He always listens.

If a guy is into you or is really patient, he’ll bide his time and play the “friend” role. He’s there for you when you get in an argument with your man. He always says you deserve better and talks about what it would be like if he had someone special like you. He’s very sweet, but he’s not your friend. He’s the guy you’re going to be screwing next.

"he always loved you"

The “friend” your boyfriend will never meet.

You go girl. There’s nothing wrong with having another man fawn all over you when your main man isn’t around. So what, he likes you. It’s not like you’re going to give him any, so this isn’t cheating at all. It’s just a “friend” date. Whatever.

"Creepy Guy"

The creepy “friend.”

This is a guy with an undefinable quality. There’s just something about him. He doesn’t really say much but smiles a lot and has a look in his eye that makes you shiver. That’s what you call intuition. You’re right to never be alone with that man. Hopefully, he doesn’t know where you live.

"He Says we Should be together"

He says “we should be together.”

You care about him, wish him well but for whatever reason, you just don’t see him that way. A better name for this guy is a fan. Every woman needs at least one. It’s likely that half or more of your “friends” are actually fans. And you are a super star.

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  • Ashley McCollum

    For the most part, attractive and/or successful people hang out with successful and/or attractive people. I am a female, and quite honestly, my male friends are more successful than my female counterparts, and since I am quite a bit of a “headhunter” myself, I view my male friends as “connections” as well. I’ve slept with one and we’ve been friends for over 10 years, and he is now married. I think all of this is rather subjective, and ultimately, there is that good ol’ double standard…we women control it. Doesn’t matter if he would or wouldn’t. Because duh, most would.

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  • Mr. Oral143

    This is hilarious. Believe it or not some men can find you attractive and still only want to be your friend, especially if you have a b/f.

    Some men still have morals.

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  • Kitty

    Amen girl!!

  • Victoria

    Wtf is with that picture on number 2? Am I the only one who saw it & was like 'whoa'? Lmao, I mean I can literally hear Black Rob singing 'like whoa' in my head right now….

  • homie

    LORD have mercy on that man with his mouth in
    that woman's butt!!!!!!

    • jasmine

      lol, yanno? what the hell kinda clubs these people frequent?

  • Mara

    That´s absolutely untrue. Almost all of my friends are guys, and I have shagged some of them in the last ten years- big deal or what? My boyfriend knows about my history with each of them and there has never been a problem. A sexual history just leads to the occasional wink-wink, nudge-nudge to the amusement of all.
    So if your article would hold some truth, I would have to give up 90% of my friends. And no, thanks, I won´t do that.

  • bellatrice1

    The exception to this rule is if you're an unattractive woman. Unattractive women can have guys that are just their friends. But, if two attractive people say they are just friends, I always think they're lying. I don't like dating guys who have a lot of "female friends." They're usually just biding their time with one or two of them.

    • fnu

      If two attractive people are friends, they may only be attractive to you. Perhaps they are not each other´s type?

      • Naaaaahhh. An attractive woman is typically generally attractive, meaning she can probably have most men that she wants. To get most men, it doesn't take much. If there is an attractive woman that he enjoys being around or talking to, sooner or later, physical attraction will follow, if it isn't already there.

        • Guest

          This is SOOOOO not true! Fnu is right. Beauty is INDEED in the yes of the beholder. An attractive person is not attractive to everyone! It’s ridiculous to even think that, lol.

  • jjac401

    Usually when a woman is always taking about he "male friend" she really likes the guy AND she enjoys his attention. It is not a combination that should be taken into a relationship with your man.

  • J

    I met my best guy friend in a club in ’95. And we’ve never been more than friends.

    • JA6180

      He must be ugly or have really bad breath. If he knew he could, he would.

  • L-Boogie

    So not true!