Why Your Guy Friend Is Not “Just A Friend”

October 24, 2011  |  
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You’re boyfriend is sick and tired of you telling him about that guy who’s supposedly your friend. Depending on his temperament,  he may make a big stink about it but he isn’t buying it. Unlike you, your man is pretty in tune with how other guys think. Not that he’s smarter than you… he’s just a man too.

Just because you’ve committed to not sleeping with some guy does not mean he shares your intentions. There are plenty of legitimate instances where you can be just friends with a man but sometimes women cast the friend net too far, trapping all kinds of men in a weird “friend-but-not-really” space.

If any of your guy “friends” can be described by the following relationships, you might want to start calling dude something else. Give your man a break.

You met your “friend” at a club.

Come on. Really? No one goes to a club to meet a great friend. Every guy in that club is hoping to get lucky that very same night. He’s only settling for your number. Some guys go as far as settling to be your “friend,” hoping that one day, he might still get lucky with that chic he met at the club that time. That chic is you.

You remember having sex with him.

The bitter sweet thing about a man and woman being friends is that sex can always find some way to wiggle in. Especially when things get slippery. But if you’ve actually had sex with homeboy, he is either your ex, or some dude you’re no longer shagging. Calling him a “friend” is just withholding the truth from yourself or someone else – probably your boyfriend.


He always wanted you.

These guys are the worst. It’s that same guy from the club a year or more later. He hung around so long that now he actually is a friend. Your man is forced to see him from time to time and always clowns him behind his back. He’s a wimp. But he’s cool. That’s your homey.

He always listens.

If a guy is into you or is really patient, he’ll bide his time and play the “friend” role. He’s there for you when you get in an argument with your man. He always says you deserve better and talks about what it would be like if he had someone special like you. He’s very sweet, but he’s not your friend. He’s the guy you’re going to be screwing next.

The “friend” your boyfriend will never meet.

You go girl. There’s nothing wrong with having another man fawn all over you when your main man isn’t around. So what, he likes you. It’s not like you’re going to give him any, so this isn’t cheating at all. It’s just a “friend” date. Whatever.

The creepy “friend.”

This is a guy with an undefinable quality. There’s just something about him. He doesn’t really say much but smiles a lot and has a look in his eye that makes you shiver. That’s what you call intuition. You’re right to never be alone with that man. Hopefully, he doesn’t know where you live.

He says “we should be together.”

You care about him, wish him well but for whatever reason, you just don’t see him that way. A better name for this guy is a fan. Every woman needs at least one. It’s likely that half or more of your “friends” are actually fans. And you are a super star.

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