Shop For A Man Like You Shop For Shoes

5 comments
June 29, 2010 ‐ By Elaine G. Flores

Since we’re talking about one of my favorite things — shoes on Madame Noire today. That got me thinking about one of my other favorite things in life — men. And it makes me wonder how come so many women are so much smarter about picking the former.

How is it that women who are so passionately committed to finding just the right pair of shoes, can suddenly lower their standards when it comes to men? How is it that we sometimes give our “sole mates” so much more thought than our soul mates?

I know this one Madame who is smart, funny, beautiful, successful and has the kind of shoe collection that I would kill for. Really, if you saw these shoes, no court could convict me. But when it comes to men, it’s another story. She could get the pick of the litter, but tends to go straight for the runts.

We went on a shoe shopping excursion once. She was looking for the perfect pair of to-die-for silver sandals to wear to an event. We went to store after store and looked at — I swear to you — about  20 pairs of strappy, silver heels until she found just the pair she wanted. There was no way you could sell her on a pair of Timberlands, ballet flats or Chanel spectator pumps at that moment because she had clear goals. Now when it comes to men, she tells me that she wants a career-oriented guy with a sense of adventure who loves to travel as much as she does. Yet, she’ll settle for a triflin’ couch potato who barely leaves his apartment, much less the country for her exotic trips. Does that make sense to you? Me either.

When shopping for a pair of shoes, we may change our mind, but we still have standards. Maybe you wanted red leather boots, but realized that you’d get more use out of the brown ones. Maybe you were determined to find leopard print mules, but fell in love with the zebra stripes. Those concessions make sense because it’s a gentle adjustment of standards, not just throwing all your desires out of the window. Would any woman in her right mind decide that cheap rubber flip-flops can replace a silk pump? Would you try to squeeze your size ten tootsies into a size 7?

So why on earth would any woman just settle for a man who has none of the qualities she is looking for?  If you wouldn’t wear shoes that pinch your feet all day, why would you stay with a man who makes your heart ache?

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  • http://www.hlhkgkhjkgffjjjkcc.ca Vito Brennon

    I have been checking out a few of your stories and i can claim pretty good stuff. I will surely bookmark your site.

  • CoCo

    I could not agree more with the comments and the article. It is a shame that women more times than none settle for the wrong person all in the name of having a companion.

    At the same time, as much as we can make comparisons with shoes, we need to understand that shoes are in abundance and shoes do not provide as much pleasure (pain) as men do. Ultimately as human beings we tend to choose what is not necessarily good for us. This is a life long adage that I don't think we would be seeing a reverse trend on.

  • Kimberly

    That article is right on! Why settle? I agree that a lot of women should shop for men just as you shoes, handbag, or the right shade of lip gloss.

  • Natasha

    because they scare us and say if you don't get a man ,any man, you will be alone forever.

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