7 Reasons Why Marriage is a Joke

October 19, 2011 ‐ By L. Nicole Williams

Nearly 50 percent of all marriages in this country end in divorce, which has led many singles to wonder “What’s the point?” In fact, it has become a joke—so much so that the state of New Mexico is considering two-year renewals. You know, sort of like a driver’s license.

However, marriage in itself is not the reason it has become so trivialized. It is our approach and the unrealistic portraits we paint of what it is supposed to be. For example, more and more of us are telling ourselves it is necessary to cohabit before taking the plunge. Yet research shows that couples who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce than those who do not. On the same token, many imagine idealistic unions marked by decades of endless bliss. And, that just doesn’t happen.

Here’s why:

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  • Ebony

    Marriage is a joke and it’s funny how people say marriage is a blessing because if it was then people wouldn’t divorce so I agree with this article. Marriage is a joke.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000196832991 Lisa Watson

    Everyone posting claiming that this article devalues marriage or puts it in a bad light are simply wrong. If you actually took the time to read the entire article, you’d realize she’s arguing for marriage and basically how to make it work. All of these “reasons” are things that you have to manage and tolerate. You have to be willing to make sacrifices and look at you together as a union, rather than “you and I.” Love is not selfish. Do you need an outline?
    *50% of weddings end in divorce. Why?
    *Romance comes and goes. It will not be perfect.
    *Emotions are unpredictable. You should manage your life together rationally, not base decisions on emotions.
    *Your partner is imperfect. So are you. Learn to accept their imperfections.
    *Learn to communicate. “constructive criticism is judgmental.” How you handle disagreements can make or break your relationship. Be patient, try to understand.
    *Establish sexual norms prior to marriage. Don’t always expect to get it when you need it. And don’t seek it outside of marriage. Be patient with your spouse. (Self-satisfy when you have to.)
    *The marriage certificate is treated as “just a piece of paper.” But it is more to that. It represents an eternal commitment, that you will make it work. “Be United Spiritually, not just legally.”
    *Your partner is not responsible for your happiness. It is only you who can do that. “Love and cherish” but they can not frame your perspective to be happy. “Think beyond the first dance (marriage ceremony.)”

    My own tidbit of advice: You are two “whole people” coming together to create a union. You are not 2 half people coming together to form a whole. Remember to cultivate your own hobbies, have your own social life, your own passions. And most of all, prioritize time for your relationship with your spouse.

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  • cabugs

    Your calculations/reasoning are a bit off. You are counting the five that break up and move out and DON’T get married (because they broke up and moved out before that could happen right?). Now we are left with the other five who are still living together and get married. Now out of the the remaining five who get married, if three get divorced that is indeed a 60% rate. It is only 30% if you’re counting the number that broke up PRIOR to the possibility of marriage. These five which didn’t get married do not count. The article is about the ones who DID get married (and were cohabiting prior to that). Remember?

  • Jen

    Don’t want kids so don’t need a wedding. End of.