Dating And The Single Mom: Manifest Your Man, But Be Careful What You Wish For

September 21, 2016  |  

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By now, we’ve all heard of “the list”–where you think about or write down the list of qualities you’re looking for in a partner. Some swear by it, others run from it but today we’re going to analyze it. From personal experience, I’ve learned quite a lesson from the list because unlike many other women I know you can manifest your man. I did it!

In October of 2009, a friend was in the midst of planning her wedding when she generously gave me a few pointers on how I could land a man. “Go home and write a letter to God. Write out everything you want in a man and thank Him in advance for answering your prayer.” So, I did just that. I went home and wrote out every desire of my heart. I explained to God what I wanted my husband to look like, what type of career he should have and every other detail I could come up with. When I finished my letter, I said a quick prayer and put it in a drawer.

On March 6, 2010 I met a guy who told me within five minutes of meeting that I would be his wife. From that day on, we quickly developed a relationship and were head over heels in love. Within weeks, I took my letter out to see how well I had done and to my surprise the man I was dating had 18 of the 20 characteristics from my list. I could not believe I had actually done it! I had actually attracted the man of my dreams! I was so shocked that I showed him the letter, told all of my girls to write their letters and was happy as could be that I was so blessed!

By April 6th, we were out of the country on vacation. By June 6th, we were on a surprise weekend getaway to Orlando where he proposed. You read that right. By month three I had a ring on my finger. Now all of this may sound crazy from the outside looking in, but in my mind God was simply answering my prayer. Years before, I’d decided that I needed to be married by 25. So, finding this man who wanted me to be his wife at 24 meant all of my plans were coming together beautifully! Plus, God must’ve given his stamp of approval since he was everything I prayed for, right?

WRONG! A month after getting engaged, I took him home to meet my family. That’s when our relationship took a turn, I realized he was a sociopath and our entire world came tumbling down. Although, I had received almost everything I wanted, I didn’t have any of the things I needed. I hadn’t even considered how I wanted to be treated, the morals, values and even manners that I wanted my man to have. This guy looked the part but it was all a front. Just like my list, he was full of all the superficial stuff but nothing of substance. He had a great smile but there was a monster hiding on the other side. He had a great job, but was flat broke with a credit score I didn’t even know was possible. All of the petty things I thought were important checked out, but everything else was missing.

Needless to say, he wasn’t the one for me. He was Prince Charming, but he wasn’t Mr. Right. You see, Prince Charming will charm your socks (and panties) right off by saying all the right things and forget that he actually has to do the right things. Mr. Right on the other hand is all about action, he will prove his love and loyalty without question.

In all of this, there were several aha moments and lessons learned. The moral of the story is that you can absolutely manifest the man you desire, but you have to make sure he’s the one you deserve. If you’re ready to attract Mr. Right instead of Prince Charming, keep these laws of the list in mind in order to manifest your man:

Law #1 Be careful what you wish for.
Without a doubt, the Law of Attraction is real. What you think about and thank about, you bring about and when you write it down, it’s real. So you have to put a lot of thought into the things you think you want vs the things you actually need. We’re constantly attracting things into our lives based on our thoughts, actions and intentions so you can’t get mad at the world if you manifest a mess.

Law #2 Get real!
What’s really most important to you? What values matter most? If you asked me what was important at 24, I would have told you the career my man should have, what kind of car I wanted him to drive and the type of places I wanted him to take me. If asked now, I will proudly tell you that I value a man who values me. My dating mentor calls it “choosing priorities over preferences.” It means that you are more concerned with the way he makes you feel versus the amount of money he makes. Not to say that you can’t have what you want and need, it’s just making sure your priorities are taken care of first.

Law #3 Make sure YOU match.
You ARE what you attract, so everyone who comes into your life was invited in by you. You can’t frequent the dollar menu and expect a man to treat you to a five star meal. Moreover, you can’t expect a loyal and honest man if you lie, scheme and scam every chance you get. Whether consciously or unconsciously, your thoughts, intentions and actions are constantly attracting things into your experience. So, in order to attract the best man, I had to become a better me. When making your list, make sure you can live up to it. After all, you have to meet your requirement’s requirements.

Law #4 Think positive
When you sit down to actually create the list, write in positive terms. Instead of listing the things you don’t want, focus on the things you do. Many times, we can think of a million and one things we don’t want in a man but we never put thought into the things we do want. Think of all of the amazing qualities you want him to have, how he’ll make you feel and the way you want to be treated. Write out details that bring butterflies to your belly so that you can create a scene in your mind. The more time spent on positive thoughts of love, the quicker you’ll attract love into your life!

Law #5 Leave it & believe it
Sometimes we focus so much energy into these lists, vision boards and dream books that our anxiety blocks the blessing. Overthinking, expecting, worrying and (WORST OF ALL) doubting is self-sabotage. The toughest part is trusting the process, understanding that you have to encounter boys so you’ll recognize a man. You have to endure the storm to appreciate the sunshine, that’s life. So don’t allow doubt to destroy your desires. Once your list is complete and you’re sure you’ve only written the important details, leave it to God and believe it will happen…in due time.

EVERYTHING happens in perfect timing. The right man at the wrong time won’t work and the wrong man at the right time won’t either. Understand that love is looking for you just as hard as you’re preparing for it.

Follow these laws, draft your list and get ready to receive!

Written with wishes of LOVE by Koereyelle, Founder and CEO of The Single Wives Club where she educates and empowers single women to become better women before becoming wives.

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