Why Dating a Man With Female Friends Could Be Bad For Your Health

27 comments
September 13, 2011 ‐ By IndigoBlack

Okay, so it’s not literally bad for your health like that. But it is indeed a stressful endeavor to take on when you decide to date a man who has not just a few female friends, but many. Been there, done that, and I wouldn’t recommend it. But hey, there are some fantastic guys out there who have female friendships that are innocent. Good luck finding those fellas though. While it’s nice to see man be respectful and caring of women and get in touch with his sensitive or feminine side, it’s a shame when it’s shared with a bit too many outside parties if you know what I mean. Not all guys with female friends should come with a caution sign, because as long as they’re honest and up front about them then you at least know what you’re getting into. But there are some men that should. Here’s a list of things you might have to worry about when you fall for a man with more girlfriends than you.

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  • Lara Smith

    yes After six years in marriage with my husband with 3 kids, he suddenly started going out with other women and coming home late, each time i confronted him it turns out to be a fight and he always threatened to divorce me at all time, my marriage was gradually coming to an end. i tried all i could to stop him from this unruly attitude but all proved abortive, until i saw a post in the forum about a spell caster who helps people cast spell on marriage and relationship problems, at first i doubted it but decided to give it a try, when i contacted this Spell caster Dr. Dangogo via email, he helped me cast a spell and within 4 hours my husband came back apologizing for all he has done and promised never to do such again and today we are happily together again. Contact this Great spell caster for your marriage or relationship issues via this email; dr.dangogospell@gmail.com

  • Rachel

    NEVER date a guy who has even 1 female friend. Men and women cannot be platonic friends EVER. Women need to date and do relationships with men who do not have any female friends (which is the same thing as sex friends). Men claim they do not sleep with their female friends, but some of us know that’s totally false. A woman should pick a guy who focuses on her, makes her a priority, and who values loyalty. A guy who has female friends will cheat and will not make a gf a priority whatsoever. Men always want the harem of female sex friends but they want the gf too. Doesn’t work that way with some of us.

    • joe

      Men who are in relationships who claim to have female friends are having sex with them usually, almost always. Women who are in relationships with men who claim to have male friends are usually cheating too, almost always.
      I see way more women pull this bullshit than men.

  • atypicalguycali

    Why is nobody mentioning the real problem here: Girls having too many guy friends?

    Girls having all guy friends is worse than a guy having too many”female friends, for these reasons:
    1) Men will have sex with just about anything that moves. Men always wanna bang their female friends. The reverse isn’t true. So a woman having guy friends when she’s in a relationship = her purposely hanging with guys that she knows want to bang her. HOWEVER. If a guy is in a relationship, and isnt the cheating type? His female friends are less likely than a girls male friends, to want to hook up with him, have sex, trash the girlfriend, etc.
    2) Women tend to do this for attention and validation. When a taken man is friends with women? He’s more often than not simply doing it bcuz she’s fun. That’s it. He isn’t looking to get his validation from someone other than his girlfriend (whereas girls with boyfriends who have all male friends, tend to get their validation from multiple guys, and almost always cheat)

  • Prewtychic

    from above experience it is a lot of hard work to date such kind of a man coz some women with intentions will do things to make you feel less a woman or invisible, this kind of men who mostly keep alot of women friends sometime its more of covering their insecurity or else they are men who are weak and they dont know what to do when women throw themselves to them my now soon to ex boyfriend has like 20 women friends and still making more!!!!!!!

  • BlackLoveisfading

    what about the woman with all the male "friends"??? OH I guess us guys will have to be SECURE and understanding and accept that end of the bargain BUT not the other way around?? A woman that has mostly MALE friends under the FALSE pretense she can't get along with others females is a bigger RED FLAG than what the coaches use in football!! HMMMM

  • D Lo

    I just got out of a long term relationship and it’s been really painful for me. My ex has a lot of female friends, most not of the highest caliber, and trust me I am not saying that out of jealousy. The majority are truly all drama. I don’t trust them but I trusted him. We were on and off a lot, and when we were “off” I definitely worried about the women he hung out with. But when we were together I never worried about these b****es. I still didn’t like them, but when we were together he wasn’t with him all the time like he is now….
    Basically if a man is happy at home he won’t stray. A lot of men are pigs and will cheat if they can get away with it but there are good ones out there too.

  • Ashley

    Just had a breakup with my first "love". He was just like this, I assumed it was very normal, I was mistaken. He's friends with SO many girls, and has tried to date SO many girls, many being girls im good friends with. Sometimes it seems like he flirted with any girl that had a pulse. And he told me about them, but not EVERY detail, obviously. He would always ask for advice from other girls, when these stupid girls had never even HAD relationships before, how would they know?! And worse, he'd drag his parents into EVERY argument, and ultimately always take their side (whether or not they knew the whole argument). Although I know he was faithful, and wasn't afraid of being with me in public, and loved me, I also think he was too nice to everyone. And a little immature. Glad, i'm aware now.

    • Ashley

      AND he's friends with every ex… all 5 before me. (that he breaks up with for random reasons about a month into the relationship… i.e. he apparently did for someone being not intellectual enough, a girl being mormon. Keeper, right? : P

  • Smartypants

    What if one of these female friends is an ex-wife??

  • African_queen

    Both males and females can have friends of the opposite sex, as long as they each know where to draw the line with those friendships. His female friends shouldnt call at all times to get help with manly chores or complain about their man or lack of. And why would anyone in a serious relationship seek anything extra from outside?

  • grace

    my bf had two ffs and at first i was ok with them unitl one of them call everyday asking for fovarites and is start to better me so i told him and he not worry so i was like ok and 3yrs went by and she kept calling asking for this and that i got fed up one day and told to her to backoff she never call again and he dont care

    • HeadSmackeroni

      Anyone that is willing to drop a friend they've had for years because of a jealous, insecure boyfriend or girlfriend of the moment isn't someone that is going to be dating you for a long time. He will meet someone that makes him 'not care' about dropping you soon enough.

      The only reason my fiance' comes before my friends now is because she is going to be my wife, and the mother of my children one day, but before that? Um no.

  • Victoria

    Oh yeah & let's throw in what "wow" was talking about too because contrary to what many ladies believe, if you ask *ANY man of any age (the ones who have experienced puberty solet's say 14 & above) or race, they will tell you that *all "friendships" they form with ANY female (unless you are related by *blood) started because they intially found you attractive at some point. doesn't necessarily mean they're waiting in the shadows ready to bang you at the drop of a dime (well *some are lol) but that's just how men think. they see you, the #1 reason they intially started the conversation was because you were cute. turned out after speaking to you, you had other qualities they liked besides your looks. and *That is how you became their friend. in *their minds anyway.

  • Victoria

    lmao prissy said we had female/male friends in elementary and middle school. the *key thing to remember is that those times were before *puberty. then -ish got complicated lol. is it possible for a male or female to have friends of the opposite sex? yes. but how long does it take for one or the other to become attracted to their "friend"? at what point does the line between "friend" and love interest become blurred? when exactly does the moment happen when your "friend" stops being your real actual friend, and instead starts pursuing you? and does the status of your actual relationship really mean anything to your "friend" once that attraction (in *their mind anyway) has been formed?

  • http://twitter.com/mademoiseleogus MademoiseleOgus

    Ding ding ding! This just shows that men themselves who have no problem with men who have a lot of female "friends" are questionable in their judgement as well (cough cough the men who have nothing better to do than talk down to women and write on female sites).

    #kanyeshrug

  • Teflon Mom

    Whatever happened to balance…that's what really comes across as fishy, a person who doesn't have any friends of their own gender. Same way guys are suspicious of the woman who "doesn't get along with females"…women are suspicious of the dude that rolls primarily with women. Just says something about your character.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001708170171 Verolyn Brown

    Hey HeadSmackeroni . ..with all the million women…why don't you try to get some f##king self esteem….MOFO!!!

  • “the friend”

    I don’t cus I’m always one of those friends and they always trying to sleep with me. DONT TRUST THEM! They make good buddies tho. :)

  • http://magistersthinktank2.blogspot.com MagisterVeritatis

    I figure if you can't tolerate him having females friends that it's Your Problem, not mine. Just goes to show that women never believe what they say about other women. Many of you always say "Women are precious and deserving of respect and trust". Yet, when your man has female friends none of you trust those females further than you can throw them. This only highlights that women cannot be trusted, especially when we add men into the equation. Many of you wouldn't trust your girlfriends around your man for five minutes( Well, those of you who have men. Only 4% of you I suspect). Nonetheless, women understand the nature of other women and are fully aware of what happens behind the scenes. Why many of you come on here and continue to promote the idea that women are sweet and innocent is beyond me. Sadly, females cannot be trusted around men. We all know it, but most of you deny it.

    As HeadSmackeroni said, disliking your man having female friends stems from a SELF Esteem issue. I have plenty of female friends and I wouldn't get rid of them for any woman.

    • Teflon Mom

      I don't really disagree with you on this, but I do think you're being very general when it comes to typecasting women. It's unattractive for either side to have a big base of opposite sex friends. That's why a lot of the folks who do it have a ready made list of excuses, followed up by a little "take it or leave it" shrug. The reason for that is simple (and it's not that women are inherently untrustworthy. They're human, and humans are flawed.): when you are in a serious relationship your s/o IS your best friend. Even if you have a big group of friends, those friendships begin to take a back seat to your relationship. And let's face it, there's usually some level of flirtation or desire going on, which also needs to stop if you're going to be respectful to your significant other. That's true for men and women.

      • Elaine

        Fantastic and accurate reply.

    • Shannelle Thomas

      I’m a woman who dates a guy with female friends and I’m fine with it. Plus he is two hours away. it’s not all women that can’t be trusted

    • Sharon Lockhart

      I disagree. I’m not sharing my man with any other girls. And it has nothing to do with any self-esteem. I am the only girl around here. And if he doesn’t like it, bye bye.

      • Sharon Lockhart

        Oh and she’s right, they do multiply like cockroaches; that’s why this one is out of the door.

  • http://magistersthinktank2.blogspot.com MagisterVeritatis

    Preach!

  • Korey

    What about if your man decides to be as bold as to assign you a BFF from his bevy of female friends?