Image Source: Shutterstock.com
I recently came across a quote that proclaimed that “Self-talk is the channel to change behavior.” It got me to thinking about some of the struggles I’ve dealt with that have affected my entire life, from work to relationships to my overall spiritual well-being. I had been trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, and at 26, I felt like I should be well on my way, but I’m not. I found myself working at so many jobs that left me feeling unfulfilled. I found myself in so many unhappy and dead-end dating situations. I was basically trying to make any and everything work just so that I could feel like I was making progress in life, truly being a thriving adult. With all that disappointment in mind, I had a moment where I had to come to terms with the decisions I was making, and the effort I had been putting toward the wrong things. I spoke out loud about my strife. I had a conversation with myself and I decided that if I was going to struggle, it would be because I’m taking risks and working towards something that I love rather than struggling to be comfortable in uncomfortable situations. I had to look deeply into my situation and ask myself why I was struggling. Was I having a hard time because I was being stretched? Was it because I was being put in a vulnerable position to learn and grow? Or was it because I was trying to force a lifestyle that I had no business living? I came to the conclusion that my situation was the latter, and I realized that it’s okay to wave the white flag. Throw in the towel. Abort mission.
Most times we hear that you have to stay strong and see things through, which, in turn, gives the impression that giving up and quitting are rarely admirable habits. But in my opinion, it takes a special kind of courage to walk away from situations that no longer serve you well, especially if you’ve found yourself stuck in a rut or at a complacent point in your life.
Giving up isn’t always a bad thing. When your heart is no longer in something, it’s okay to walk away. When your situation becomes unhealthy, it’s okay to give it up. When it’s changing you for the worst and pulling you away from the things that you love, it’s okay to say “no more.” When better doors are opening up and your intuition is leading you down a different path, it’s okay to want to see what else is in store for you. We have such a twisted perception of what it means to give up that we often don’t see the possibility of it as a means to gain, so we find ourselves stuck and losing. We become lost in dull relationships, accumulating years without substance. We find ourselves stuck in dead-end jobs without promotions, raises, or growth. We take up pew space at churches that no longer feed us spiritually. We become just another cog in a wheel, and that’s no way to live. I’ve learned to wave my white flag when necessary and be okay with the fact that I did it. I’ve learned to walk away from situations without regret because I know that I did the right thing for my own growth and happiness. I realized that everyone isn’t going to like every decision I make, but the life that I live is mine alone, therefore, doing what’s best for me is always a good decision. And the reality is, sometimes you have to close some doors in the hopes of allowing others to open.
