Infatuation is one of the illest feelings when a relationship is new. You can’t wait to see your new boo, get a call or a text, or a surprise lunch date. But then, after three months or so, you feel like, maybe, your dude is pulling away. He doesn’t call as much, so you call more. He doesn’t call back right away, so 30 minutes later you’re sending him a text wondering why he hasn’t answered your calls. You show up at his door (even if he lives a hour-and-a-half away) unannounced to treat him to breakfast. You question why he’s not answering is home phone, and drive by his crib to see if his car is there. All the while, you feel crazy and desperate, but you can’t stop.
He’s becoming your obsession, and the more you push, the more he pulls away. “Most obsessive relationships don’t last. The partner of the obsessive love frequently becomes tired of [the other's] overwhelming needs” says Monique Belton, PhD, co-author of The Essential Guide to Overcoming Obsessive Love.
Dr. Belton gives us some red flags that you can identify in either yourself or your partner. She calls them “Obsession Alerts”…..