8 Things You Can’t Do Once You’re Married

August 3, 2011  |  

One of the greatest things about being single, and something married women sometimes miss, is having the freedom to do whatever you want whenever you want wherever and however you please. Marriage can be wonderful, but it does come with boundaries.

Aside from the can’t-have-sex-with-other-people-anymore stipulations, other (less obvious) adjustments are also needed for smooth sailing. These are a few things you should think twice before doing under the Mrs. title:

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  • ebonessence

    the only thing i agree with on this is the bathroom moment. unless im just peeing, leave me and my boo boo break alone. my husband was always saying "damn we married" and yes, i know, i was there, i just feel that moment is mine and shouldnt be interrupted. like FootballNerd said, i still deserve privacy, respect and dignity, the same by me being a nurse, that i give my patients. i dont stand over them taking vitals while their taking a dump, i leave and come back, clean them up then i resume my job. needless to say, he hasnt brought that up anymore and talks to me through the door if he needs me.

  • FootballNerd

    Married for 16 years with 5 kids (we made them all together). I was in the delivery room for all, I held her hair for the morning sickness and cleaned up countless messes she made. But the article is talking about respect and dignity. You can tear down whatever walls you want in your marriage and see if it survives, you can also call each other terrible names and slap each other around and say yours sorry. At the end of the day though she deserves a little privacy, respect and maintain her dignity. As a man, I wouldn't do any if the things this writer said either and I would hope she would respect me enough to do the same. Or rare occasions things come up but I would hope it doesn't become a habit. AM I gonna leave her for it – no! but it would certainly change the foundation of our relationship and not for the better. If this sounds like jail or torture than stay single or accept the fact you are rolling the divorce dice.

  • Ewa

    I absulutely understand the notion of decorum. I even understand the peeing rule. But not being able to go out to dinner with my friends? This is so 50s.

  • Wow…whoever wrote this knows nothing about marriage! My husband just walks in on my in the bathroom like it's no big deal! Really, the only rule I agree with is the one on page 7. I still party and do whatever and so does he. We have been together almost 9 years now and are still going strong so…yeah….

  • Married&StillParties

    Thank you BostonChick! I still can't believe this article is for real. What person actually believes that married couples are so different or that certain things are supposed to magically stop happening as soon as you get a ring on your finger? Someone was obviously brainwashed by sitcoms and needs to get a clue.

  • Married&StillParties

    In what century was this article written??? Dear Lord, whoever wrote these ridiculous things is either in a very unhappy marriage or has never been in a serious, trusting, faithful relationship and thus has no clue just how out of touch this all sounds!

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  • amanda

    this sarticle is tupid. ive been married for a year n three months now me n my husband never once closed the bathroom door when we do our buisness unless we had company. peein n taken a crap is a natural body function why should you be ashamed of it. i guess its how open you were raised or how open you are in a relationship

  • lrobinl

    This is absolutely the stupidest article I think I have ever read on line. I sincerely hope it is a joke! Anyone who actually lives their life this way has allowed marriage to become a prison. A married woman can do anything she wants; life doesn't stop just because you are married. NO ONE should choose to go shopping over paying their bills, but if you have a job that requires you to socazlize with clients, like mine does, then you ahve to do it and your husband needs to accept it. If someone really feels this way, this would explain why marriage rates are so low in the black community. If I really believed I couldn't live my life, drink if I wanted to and hang out with my female friends and do my job if I wanted to, I wouldn't have ever gotten married. Perpetuating asinine myths like this is not helpful!

  • Amy

    This is the most ridiculous (and sexist might I add) article I've read in a while. Seriously, marriage isn't a prison sentence or a time to morph into someone you're not. I've read two articles on this site linked by CNN and both were dreadful, wtf is this crap?

  • married, educated woman

    What an awful marriage the author must be in if she has so many restrictions placed on her.

  • aimee

    I agree with some but not all the "rules".Try to remain independence and go out with lady friends and take breaks,drink from a carton-but always try to remain attractive.This includes the person you're married to.Women wonder why men cheat,and guess what when you're single trying to hook up with a man,you'll probably try to follow most of these rules anyways.Why work so hard to get a man when you're single,but not work as hard at a marriage? And yes,sometimes I wanna splurge on dumb stuff,but I have to think of my family first.Btw,I've been married 12 years.

  • kelly

    LOL I didn’t know that we live in 18 century. Marriage is not a house arrest anymore! 🙂

  • ksam

    Advice from the 19th century is still alive?! We do what we please as long as we both agree on it, we have that freedom

  • cheryl

    Wow–I thought this article was stupid, too, but for different reasons–every one of these things seems so obvious to me, and I've been married (happily!) for 20 years. I wouldn't dream of using the bathroom without closing the door, or walking in on my husband–just a basic respect for each other's privacy. And while we share sips of soda and other drinks from a can or glass, I was raised not ever to drink out of a carton and put it back in the refrigerator, because bacteria from your mouth will multiply there if it's left to sit. It takes ten seconds to get a glass out and pour some in.

    And the article didn't say no sleepovers/GNOs at all, period–just not all the time. I hang out with my girlfriends when my husband's away, and sometimes we go out to hear a band or stay up all nights watching movies. But why would I want to be out when the person I love most in the world is at home waiting for me? We're each other's favorite company. Really.

  • Dave

    I suppose this list can be used for men too. I am a man and there are some things that I really don't understand why it is on you list. as an example, use the bathroom with the door closed?!? My goodness; if you are married he/she will know what you look like down there and he/she knows what comes out of that part of your body….just my view on it.

  • the_unforgiven

    Wow @the comments.
    So much attitude.

  • The greatest knot upon the liberty of all European people is the praeterpolitical power of the churches to institute monogamy as an ecclesiastic rule of law, thereby enabling them to determine the legitimacy of the succession of the pagan kings and abrogate the natural rights to property and self-defense.

    The government of men's external actions by religion, pretending the change of nature in their consecrations cannot be esteemed a work extraordinary, it is no other than a conjuration or incantation, whereby they would have men to believe an alteration of nature that is contrary to the testimony of sight and of all the rest of the senses…

    The idea "thou shalt marry and be given in marriage" is corrupt and degenerate, which is an impossible immortality of a kind (i.e., eternal love), but not of the persons of men.

    Ecclesiastics would have men believe they will receive condign punishment for their contumacy of monogamy, as opposed to the freedom of the polygamy found in nature, which is inherently pagan.

    As the inventions of men are woven, so also are they raveled out…

    When the fairies are displeased with anybody, they are said to send their elves to pinch them. The ecclesiastics, when they are displeased with any civil state, make also their elves, that is, superstitious, enchanted subjects, to pinch their princes, by preaching sedition; or one prince, enchanted with promises, to pinch another.

  • Guest

    I most definitely think that the old saying remains true… "To each their own, it takes all different types to make the world go 'round." Each and every couple has boundaries, whether they are spoken or unspoken, and a mutual respect for one another. I think its all about trusting your partner, respecting your partner, and communicating your likes and dislikes with your partner. Personally, with all of the time I spend working and in school, I LOVE to spend my extra time with my husband for the most part- with an occasional night out with my best girlfriends, and he likes to spend time with me, with an occasional night of camping or hunting with the guys… as for the powder room- it has happened a time or two, but I don't make a habit of it. I think that there is a healthy comfortable, and an unhealthy comfortable. I still like to be seen and treated like a lady by my man, and feel like one too.

  • Shaking my Head

    I agree with the networking after 10pm NOT for married folk. I get sick of seeing married men out late after the business professionals mixer has ended and the party has started. Why are you still here hitting on singles ladies? Go home. I just want to slap some of them for their wives. It is horrible and not fair to their wife. If you are hanging out with friends for a special occasssion bachelor party or a friends b-day OK. However hoe strolling around hollering at young single women NOT COOL. Married folk need to be in the house or with their spouse at a certain time or maybe double dating with another married couple not out hoe stollling.

  • Reader

    A lot of readers took this article very seriously. This seems to be a sort of light hearted, not so serious list of stuff for maybe newlyweds in their early twenties.

    Don’t take it so seriously!

  • Jennie

    Drinking out of cartons in your fridge is plain old NASTEEE!! Then you'll turn around and pour that same milk in your visitor's coffee when they visit. Ewww!!

  • Another boring and watered down article on this site. These reasons were either painfully obvious or flat out dumb.

  • JT

    This seems written by a single person who hasn’t yet decided if marriage is worth it. Grand generalizations that are confined to women or men is the equivalent to saying, “all black people….” Marriage is beautiful and equal. It’s not some presupposed idea of what society based on televised images concocted. Try rewriting this and taking out assumptions and you’ll find there’s not much worth writing. As an individual with this one life only, I (and my husband), am allowed to live. Even if it means drinking to get drunk, hanging out with a male friend alone (a 1950s housewife just gasped), staying over my friend’s house, spending part of what I contribute to our account on what I want (and shoes, really? How superficially predictable), and drinking from anything that is in my house.

  • You don't have kids yet.

    • Fatima

      Yes, I have two—a son who is married and a teenage daughter.

  • And these same guys always want oral, but are prissy about a drop of spit? Really?

  • Why would you still be going to the club at all if your married??

    Backwash? really? This is the man your married too, you stick your tongue down his throat everyday and other places for that matter but yet all of a sudden its taboo to place your lips on a carton of milk where his may have been?

  • Rose

    I couldn’t stop laughing. I couldn’t make it past the “no dinner alone with men”. The real story is: How did the author find a computer in 1943 and then blog from there?

  • Leona

    My husband farts in front of me. I don't mind. He is white.

  • Tiffony

    This article is hilarious.. Even as a single woman I didn't overlook my bills for shoes or clothes. I had my priorities straight. Social networking parties after 10 PM I actually bring my fiance' if he wants to come or my best friend. It's called "TRUST," he knows I am not up to anything but networking .. if he believes anything else than perhaps you shouldn't be together.

  • CjOnMaui

    y'all make me sick

  • Guest

    Well its about time for a senior citizen to get some comments in here! Iam a 70yr old widow with a 76 yr old friend
    We respect each other's privacy. shut the bathroom door, Girls and Boys. Grow up. Please don't drink out of any milk or juice carton. Either of you!

  • John

    This is totally un-acceptable. My wife and I have been married for 3 years. I am 29 and she is 25. It is 2011 people! We all are not getting married and having kids right away, we are still young and have lives! My wife loves fashion, if she wants to go out looking good, that is fine by me. This doesn’t make her more likely to “show off her goods”. I could go on and on, but this rediculous list doesn’t deserve that much of my time.

  • ann

    some couples still have a facebook account and women send dirty pictures to the other spouse is this right

  • renee2011

    This article is garbage. If you know how your significant other is, and love them, you don’t expect a magic light switch to flip and turn them into a damn stepford wife the minute she says “I do”.
    You marry for love, not for what a good image your spouse gives to the community at large.
    Complete trash. I wish it were on newspaper so I could use it to wipe with. With the door open, after a night o dressing like a tramp and getting drunk.

  • Chelsea

    This article is hilarious, it should have been published on The Onion! Thank god I'm not married to the author.

  • Danielle

    Ok, this lady is crazy!! I have been married 5 years this October and as long as there is trust in a relationship you both shouldn’t feel lik you have to have stipulations on your relationship. Every relationship is different and there really is no set rule book. As long as you both respect eachother and your relationship you’ll doo fine.

  • Fyre

    Well, every marriage has its own set rules, made an put in place with respect an caring love by the spouses, who out side of them have any right to to tell married folks whats right, proper or not. Isn't that up to the couple to decide. What rules work for one couple may nor or will not work for others. Tho I agree, respect for each other is very important. The marriage is what the couple makes it, not the rules of others !!

  • Fyre

    Right on sweetie, you tell them !!

  • HrG

    And all of these comments are exactly why there is a 41 % divorce rate among first marriages. Go ahead and do whatever you want, people. Why you should make accommodations or compromise for any one, especially your spouse. You only married them, right? How important are they? Not more important then yourself, apparently.

  • Carley

    Yeah, this article is stupid and offensive. "People bring drama into your home?" These mysterious 'people' cannot bring any drama that we don't let them bring. If you tell your husband about your plans (as you should to let him know when you'll be home) and he actually trusts you (as he should), there is no drama that anyone can cause. And it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you or the relationship to want alone time with the girls, nor does wanting that alone time mean you /don't/ want time with your husband. I also like how one night is "supposed to get [everything, apparently] out of your system."

  • dee

    Married almost 7 years we pee and sh!t in front of eachother and matter of fact he got really sick threw up on me a couple of times and I changed his adult diaper while he was in the hospital after only 1 year of dating. We love eachother and if there is something we dont like we just tell eachother because we are adults who respect eachother! These rule dont apply to every marraige but most if not all marraiges have rules.

  • Andrea

    This article is ridiculous no matter how long you have been married!

  • lili

    Are you married? If so for how many years?

  • Allyce

    Married 21 years. We don't pee in front of each other. We like it that way.

    • So what…

      Married 22 and we do. Your point is?

  • jennygirl

    what a dumb article. no insight. some of the things women "can't do" anymore are things we hope women don't do in the first place.

  • guest

    terrible and ridiculous article – not one of these is true or has any substance

  • Totally Disappointed

    This is the worst article ever…and its targeted to Black folks. I guess there is a double standard in the US. Mademnoire get it together!

  • hollydolly

    Im sorry? We always use the restroom with the doors open, even on those plosive days… we hide nothing from each other. We’ve been married for a good number of years now. We even have children(though when the kids are around we do close the door as they don’t need to know our “business”… I figure there’s nothing to hide.

  • Gypsy Flower

    I think the author got confused and meant to write "What not to do when you have a ROOMMATE."

  • Aiko

    lmfao. I think this article was made to shy people away from marriage.

  • What an insanely stupid article. There's only ONE thing you can't do when you're married and that's CHEAT. Anything else goes. That's why my husband and I do the LAT thing – live apart together. Familiarity breeds contempt – I have my place, he lives downstairs. He does what he wants, I do what I want. As long as we spend every night is either of our beds, we're happy. Articles like this one proposing all sorts of nonsensical "rules" on people is the reason so many people are afraid of marriage.

  • Bobo

    What a stupid article! I’ll never get that 5 minutes back!

  • Bubba


    Knee Grow!

  • Lewis

    I’ve been married for 8 years and I drink out of the carton and keep the damn door locked when in the bathroom. That’s what doors are for and that’s my right to do so, my wife agrees.

  • HollyG

    I have a news flash for the writer. When you love a man who loves you back and is your best friend too, you don't want to go out all night with other people.

    • Fyre

      Oh how very true Holly !!

  • Coriander


  • Why look, I woke up in the 1950's… who said time travel was impossible?!? She failed to mention have dinner ready and don't burden your hard working hubby with silly female problems.

    • Fyre

      roflmao, the50's, wow if we was back in the 50's I'd shoot myself !!

    • sissybarmama

      I know, its like we are supposed to emulate June Cleaver. Don't forget to fluff his pillows and remember, they go under his head, not over his face.:D

  • JTP

    These sound like newlywed rules. I been married 10 years and we do everything in front of each other. You really can't avoid it when you live in the same house and sleep in the same bed. No big deal.

  • Anna

    Meanwhile what is your husband doing?

  • Kimber

    People/society should stop making marriage seem like some controlled and confined institution where fun & spontaneity do not, and cannot exist. Every relationship has its OWN rules; things that a couple will and will not accept. This list gives a general idea, but it's unrealistic to try and live by SOMEONE ELSE's rules, and expect for YOU and YOUR partner to be happy. Live your life according to what creates your happiness and bliss.

  • Anna

    Don't men drink out the carton though? Hello? I drink out the water jug though. But I'm not married so it's okay.

    The rest of the list seems binding though. While you're out being the good wife, what's your husband doing LaShaun?

    He's out networking with the boys at the club after 10 getting pissy drunk dressed in that extra tight shirt where he grinding against his female friend that just doesn't see the wedding ring and he'll come over slip out of the shoes he bought when he should have paid the light bill and walks into the bathroom, drops trough pisses all over the toilet seat, farts loud enough that you hear it clear across the house.

    Write an article about the other side. It seems like your that professor in Mona Lisa Smile that never got married but teaches the course on how to be a good wife.

  • coolrelax2

    This article was funny and for the most part I agree…but I'm with a lot of the other married commentors, bathroom time is really not that intimate in our home. My hubby will come and drop a deuce while I"m in the shower (talk about a steamy funk trap, lol). I don't really think that marriage means you can't do anything, you just can't do as much of it – girls night out, a few drinks, etc….are cool as long as you remember that you still have responsibilities in your home. Especially if you have kids. Dinner with an unrelated man though? Naw.

  • The article was good for a laugh. Some of the comments were even better. 😉

  • Nikki

    Get over yourself tar baby, ghetto trash, b*tch. *faints*

    Geez, your fiance is one lucky lady. Why would a woman date let alone marry a man who speaks to women like that?

    Married 14 years.

    • SgtsDiva

      Because she probably doesn't have a brain to speak of, but then why would a woman stay married to a man who beats her????? It's all based on the environment in which she was raised

  • Nia

    Peeing isn't really a problem. Bubble guts though? No.
    Obviously we're all human. However, some things should be assumed and not necessarily confirmed with sight.

  • HeadSmackeroni

    My fiance' isn't black, her background actually consist of more Euro blood. Is she white? No of course not.
    IWhy are you worried about my fiance's race for that matter? She isn't African American, I have no issue with BLACK women – I find pure African women to be on average amazing women. African American women are not on the same level.

    Get over yourself tar baby, ghetto trash, b*tch.
    Oh and I'm here to be an ass, get use to it.

    • Prissy

      LOL Ghetto?? I'm from the suburbs boo!!! GOOGLE what a "tar baby" is… Just like "coon" isn't a RACCOON like some folk think… Tar Baby is a THIEF…. YOU do NOT need to be a on a BLACK woman's blog HATING your own kind EVERY chance you get… You HATE yourself? Fine?? LOL

  • Mrs W.

    See – you married for real – the writer of the article must still be waiting to be found…cause I am with you. And…if I want to do a girlfriend sleepover cause somebody is celebrating a birthday or something – that's cool too.

  • Jojo

    ok, does the writer have kids? Just try using the bathroom alone once they start walking, mine is 9 years old and while it’s been years since he walked in on me, he will still stand outside the door and chat away with me….so using it in front of hubby was not an issue, except for “that time of the month” of course

  • Jenn

    I agree about vacations with friends. My parents were married for 50 years and my mom would have a ladies weekend with her girlfriends. Why on earth would that be considered innappropriate? It's healthy to have time apart.

    • Denaa

      Maybe I'm wrong…but it seemed like they were pointing to doing it to the excessive. In that slide they said "remember you have a household." That's the impression i got from it.

  • andre

    Another stupid article from CNN.

    • RaivynSkye

      This isn't from CNN, it was a random link on CNN.

      • TheReaperD

        Almost as bad… They're staining their name further by linking to this trash.

  • h2ok9

    Once a man is married, he can never leave the house without his blinders on! ;o)

    • Fyre

      being married does not mean you can't look any more you just can't sample the menu !!

  • Nukie

    Better or for worse is when u loose a limp, ur job, one of ur senses (hearing, sight,etc.), or become ill. It dont have anything to do with ur spouse smelling ur s%_t. What ur saying is that its alright to wipe ur a_s in front of ur spouse. I think not. So u got the bubble gut n its alright for u to use the restroom with ur spouse in the bathrom with u. U need to draw the line somewhere in the relationship. Close the door to s%_t but I can understand when u pissing. Women seriously when its that time of the month u leave the door. I dont care how long we have been together that is a no go. Ijs

  • So marriage is like being on "House Arrest", got it. Why can't you vacation with you're friends? Why not have a sleep over with friends? Surely there are two adults in a marriage. This article is silly. It's hard to believe this article is talking about adults.

    • mella21

      In theory that sounds good, but I do think that when people get married those things taper off. And they should because priorities change. It doesn't mean you don't have time to vacay with your girls anymore, but it's not going to be like it was every few months or whatever. Especially when you have kids involved.

      I have a male relative who still insists on hanging with his old college/HS friends @ carnival, going to the hotspots with them and partying like their single…and I don't think it's appropriate. But his wife tolerates it, so it is what it is.


  • sweettea

    This list is nice for newlyweds but I’ve been married for 10 years come November. Trust me after awhile you’ll both see everything good bad and ugly from each other. That’s why the vows say for better or worse not “until you do something disgusting”

  • Ooh La La

    No women should dress skanky. Married or otherwise.

  • nursedred

    Maybe that’s why she’s married and you’re not

    • Diamond


  • sweettea

    You can get totally wasted anytime you want after you get married and your hubby will hold your hair while you puke if he really loves you

    • Ms Jay

      I totally agree!! There have been times when we have been on vacation and I had too much fun, and I am glad my husband was there to carry me back on the ship than some random stranger!!

    • holly winslett


    • holly


    • Jennie

      They will do it, but they won't like it.

  • JustAshley

    Not to be gross, but married couples or even those in long term relationships will just walk right into the bathroom while their significant other is on the "throne" without hesitation. LOL They just do. It doesn't matter if you close the door. That boundary just isn't there after awhile.
    I agreed with the rest of the list though. 🙂

    • JustAshley

      Oh and that wedding cake topper is just precious.

    • Denaa


    • It SHOULD be. Familiarity breeds contempt – never forget that. You can't be sexually attracted to someone on a permanent basis when you have access to his/her bathroom habits 24/7. Live apart – it's so much happier.

      • lrobinl

        I wouldn't care if my husband came into the bathroom to do his business while I am in the shower, but other than that, I believe in privacy. i don't want to see or hear what he does in there and I don't want him seeing or hearing what I do either. There is such a thing as boundaries and I consider the bathroom a private space. It's bad enough that young kids don't accept that – I didn't have privacy in the bathroom for the 1st five years of my daughter's life…now that she is older, I'll be damned if my husband is going to barge in on me! Plus, it's just gross! I think something is wrong with a person that thinks it is normal to leave the bathroom door open, no matter whether they are married or not. Living with someone doesn't mean there is no such thing as privacy!

  • dasia

    I'm not married but this article is a joke. They make it sound more like a prison than marriage.

  • trell

    thats the stupidest thing ive ever heard! You live your life ina fairytale if u want too. But A REAL husband and a REAL woman will piss and so whatever they feel in a bathroom. Bcuz they love eachother for better and for worse. And there is NO way in hell if married with unconditionally will u be yrs withing and not see eachother do the do! GTFOH! This writer is crazy un unreal..lol

    • lili

      I agree 100%!

    • Jennie

      That is our boundary. One time for the half bathroom!
      Unless someone is sick, the other spouse doesn't need to hear water breaking or booty trumpets over the bowl.

  • lisa

    If Im in my house then I should be albe to piss or anything else with the door open.

    • HeadSmackeroni

      It wont be *YOUR* house when you're married, which you will never be with that attitude of 'my' anything, LMAO.

      I wish my fiance' would call our future home 'hers'. Yeah okay, then you can take care of 90% of the bills.

      • Kia

        Saying "my house" doesn't negate the fact that someone else lives there. It's just saying it's your house too. You should be able to be comfortable your own HOME. Period.

      • Mrs. W

        Dude – what's up with the attitude? For real – everything a sistah states is 'mine' is like a problem….? Wow.

    • Marria

      True That! sometime you can just have enough time to sit on the john, to piss maybe the other way is like so wrong marry people do things and them things you or anybody else wouldnt know.

    • Gypsy Flower

      Right! If you can't piss or poop or fart or burp in front of your man, then he doesn't need to be your husband. It's not lady-like? No, it is not. It is actually being human. A man need to learn the facts of life about women.