10 Things Men Find UNattractive

July 22, 2011  |  
6 of 11

Welcome to 10 things men find unattractive. Let the record reflect that just because men find said issues unattractive that does not mean we will not attempt to sleep with you. The two are not mutually exclusive; this is a very real disclaimer. First up is a personal favorite of mine:

#thethirst

The Thirst can be described as women who are overly eager to find a man. You can find these women at every open bar, every week in search of Mr. Right. We know you’re thirsty because the event is an after work event yet you found time to travel home to put on your freakum dress and 5 inch heels. Thirsty women are at the bar, visibly parched looking at the other women scoping out their competition with the “hawk eye”, giving the appearance of the mean chick. But she’s not mean at all, because #thethirst will turn her into chatty Cathy/ desperate Debbie and the desperation is unattractive.

Bad Hair

I’m not Chris Rock and I’m not here to preach about women with that “good hair”, you know… the ones with Indian in their family. Nope not this post. But can we talk about that funky smelling weave with the tracks showing because that’s not a good look.  Or my natural sisters — who think dry and flaky is the new it do. We ain’t feeling you neither as Star from Star & Bucwild would say. Just do your hair, I’m not asking you to apply all types of chemicals, or pay Beyoncé money for a lace front. I just want you to look presentable for yourself not for me.

Unkept Private Areas

*Hums* “Sometimes I shave my legs sometimes I don’t’. That’s cool and all but I’m going to need you to shave under your arms because that hair brings funk. This brings me to your next private area — the vajayjay (I prefer the P word but this is a family friendly site). If you need a weedwacker down there, that’s a problem. (No one likes wolf punani.) I’m not asking you to get a Brazilian; those things are expensive and painful. But I need you to trim up a little. Give yourself an edge up so your privates resemble a well manicured lawn rather than a jungle safari in the middle of the Congo.

Angry for no damn reason

Some of y’all are taking this feminism thing too far — you’re lashing out at men every chance you get and we’re tired of it. #whohurtyou No but seriously, no one likes the angry woman, who’s always angry, never smiles and is extremely difficult to be around. It’s unattractive. Believe it or not, a lot of women have this angry friend if they’re not the angry one and that’s a turn off too. Yes, you are judged by the company you keep. We all meet up for drinks and you got the angry one with you, no one is going to have a good time. Leave her in the house commenting recklessly on blogs and if it’s you please just stay away. Thank you.

CLOTHES

No one expects women to be in the latest Oscar de la Renta dress like it’s fashion week every day but we want you to at least put yourself together. For starters, I’m not the most fit guy (I check athletic build if you must know) — So I don’t walk around with my shirt off too often. But every day on the train my eyes are visually assaulted because some women think that kangaroo pouch is what’s hot in the streets. IT’S NOT. Know your body type and dress accordingly. And what about the dingy types? That Bohemian look is cool and all but the white tank top that’s turning yellow, can’t say it does the trick my love. It’s not Hot. All in all women who can’t dress are not attractive. Before I see your mind, I see your outfit, let’s try to make one complement the other.

Unkept feet and nails

Simply put, a mani/pedi is your friend. I don’t have to describe the “hammer time” in your shoes, nor do I have to remind you that biting your nails looks terrible. Chipped nail polish and ashy feet will not be flying either. Talk to the women at the nail salon and tip them well so you no longer scratch my legs in bed. Thanks.

Sense of Entitlement

Ladies have you ever hung out with one of your friends who feels the need to tell you, the men you’re hanging with and anyone within an earshot how she never has to pay for drinks. I always wonder, does she have any money to pay for the drinks she likes to gulp down? Or the women, who are eager to go out, even suggest it but they think the guy should pay for everything. Listen, chivalry is not dead but women who act as though they are entitled to a man’s wallet got to go. It’s unattractive and it’s downright classless. And listen I’m talking about the ladies who think it’s beneath them to stand on the lines at the club too. Are you famous, do you know the bouncer? If the answer is no, shut up and get to the back of the line, we don’t need the fuss.

Curses like a sailor

If I can’t bring you home to momma we can’t roll. I can’t stand a woman who every word out her mouth is n word this, n word that, mothereffer this, son of a —– that. Once again, have a cup of class and act like a lady not a garbage man.

Promiscuity

If your reputation for “getting it popin” enters the room before you do, that might not be a good look. You’re sleeping with every tom, package and harry and that’s cool but don’t expect me to think it’s Hot. I’m all for this sexual liberation business but I need you to have some tact and some discretion with your sex life.

Posture

This one is from the brothers on Twitter and I think I agree. No one wants a woman all slouched over looking sloppy. You can do it put your back into it.

Peace and love ladies, I think you’re beautiful. I hope you enjoy your weekend and in no way was I trying to offend but a dose of keeping it real is always healthy.

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