What Happened When Lalah Hathaway Wore An Alpha Phi Alpha Hat To Honor Her Father?

March 25, 2016  |  

If you’ve heard Lalah Hathaway’s voice, you’re likely a fan. Or can at least respect her craft. And while she comes highly rated, today she found herself sparking a bit of controversy with a picture of herself wearing an Alpha Phi Alpha cap.

#daughterofAlpha #daughterofsoul

A post shared by Lalah Hathaway (@lalahhathaway) on

While there were some, who celebrated the singer honoring her father, Donny Hathaway, there were others who took away a different message. People, some of them Alphas, left comments saying that while they loved Lalah and her music, they kindly asked her to delete the post out of respect to the organization. Another claimed that while they respected both she and her father, they don’t allow ANYBODY who didn’t cross to wear the paraphernalia.

It was my sister who brought this post to my attention, first thing this morning. And she was crunk. Full disclosure, our father is an Alpha too. My sister and I grew up admiring the camaraderie my dad shared with his fraternity brothers. We absolutely loved to watch them step, sing at weddings and reminisce about their college days. At one point I was sure I would learn their secret handshake. (I never did.) And I was determined that my dad was going to tell me about his pledging process. (He never did.) Either way, I was still fascinated. So much so that when I was still too young to know what fraternity meant, I told my father that when I went to college, I was going to become an Alpha too. It was on that very day that my dreams were dashed and I learned about sororities.

When I did get to college, the sororities at my school didn’t give off the same vibe I had observed growing up, so I decided it wasn’t for me. But I never lost the love and pride for my father firstly and for the organization that meant so much to he and his friends. So I completely get Lalah wanting to to honor her father in this way. When we were in high school, my sister took a pair of my dad’s shorts from his college days and wrote “Daughter of a” above those three Greek letters. We mostly wore the shorts around the house. But I took them with me to college, when I was miles and miles away from my father. And years later, I proudly wore those shorts to a party. With the exception of one member who tugged at my shorts, trying to see if I had violated any of the rules, it was cool.

I say all of that to say that our parents play an indescribably significant role in our lives, for better or worse. And we carry them with us, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually and in the case of Lalah, my sister, and I physically too.

I know the Greeks have their rules. And I know they’re probably hoping that Lalah Hathaway doesn’t represent a slippery slope where any and everybody can wear the letters of a group they not only love but also worked very hard to be a part of. But as musician Kevin Whalum, another Alpha, so poignantly mentioned, it’s about humanity above colors.

He provided this example.

I’ve been an Alpha for 29 years, and I am nowhere close to offended. When you begin to elevate your thinking, you’ll see from where I’m coming. Btw, during my life, I’ve seen a homeless White woman wearing an old, tattered Alpha shirt. Let’s assume she found it in a landfill. By your logic, I should have approached her, and said something like, “All due respect to your homelessness, but…” Smh

Precisely.

What do you think about Lalah honoring her father in this way? Is it offensive to members of a Greek letter organization?

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  • derek

    LOL@ black people claiming Greek anything

  • 619Kalikidd

    I have bought/given money to homeless people for new shirts and jackets when I saw them with Kappa or Mason gear on. Some may feel it is not that serious but it is to us. Certain rights of passage have been done to get the chance to wear them things. Even if it is raining I turn my jacket inside out before I give it to my wife. This is much the same as not wearing a Navy Seal Trident if you did not complete the process and put your life on the line. Those who have never worked for anything may not understand.

  • guest

    I thought they loved celebrities giving props to their organization, the way the hand out those “honorary memberships” to any and every celeb.

  • guest

    Maybe it’s because Lalah didn’t pass the brown paper bag test lol. Aren’t the Alpha’s known for that?

  • D. R. Maggie

    I swear, white people don’t take this “Greek” mess this serious. I go to a school where 70% of white students are Greek and to them it is ALL about networking and free housing . Nothing more, nothing less. Its not a Mafia unlike how we treat it. Sad really

    • Hillary Newton

      You mean THEY treat it. Hell I’m going to have to apologize to my Brony buddies cuzz I referred to them in context. SORRY ABOUT THAT BRONYS !!!

    • fhsmct

      Then you are blind
      Hazing among white fraternities documentally happens even more than among BGLOs!

  • too_real

    Is it me, or do some of these black “greeks” sound like they are members of a gang?

    • D. R. Maggie

      No, it’s not just you. They worship those letters more than the Lord himself

    • Hillary Newton

      Dood they were saying stuff like don’t wear it or else… You know who talks like that? Gangs! and some really horrible people we all know about who get violent if they feel “disrespected”

  • not a clone

    mmmm wash them in the blood of jesus, let them stand up for those letters

  • too_real

    This is just another case in point about the severe brain washing and psychosis that is pervasive among black “Greeks.”

    smh

  • Roy Fokker

    black men calling themselves greek lol. more like beta than an Alpha, all those black frats are a disgrace to black manhood and the black community, a bunch of wannabe white boys.

    • too_real

      Applause!! I wholeheartedly agree!

      Any grown black man walking around calling himself “greek” is a pure disgrace. There is no way around that.

      I”m waiting on the day when we see REAL Greeks honoring black and/or African culture like these American black simps honor theirs………I’m sure I’ll be waiting for a while…..

    • Emily

      This was too deep. Probably deeper than they can understand.

  • Emily

    Madness.

  • Bryce Gaylor

    It was a special moment for a special reason. Bros stop it! It’s a one time photo to pay homage and respect to her FATHER who is ALSO a BROTHER! She’s not perpetuating anything or being disrespectful. Again, Brothers STOP IT! 06

  • Masterpieced

    Foolishness? How is his response foolish? I agree with him and I am not an Alpha.

    • Hillary Newton

      Your a follower though so yea we know you would agree

      • Allie

        You’re * pressed lol

        • Hillary Newton

          Insult right? Is it a hair thing? I don’t know BUT I do Know how to reply to direct insults. Um … F*ck You! There I replied back feel good now? I mean we can do that. I know a lot of insults.. as I’m sure you do too.

  • ConcernedInPhilly

    Thank you for sharing your perspective. I am a brother of Alpha Phi Alpha. Non-members (men or women, regardless of familial relationship) are not to wear our letters, for any reason. I certainly respect her honoring Bro. Hathaway, her father, but wearing the letters of the fraternity is not the way to do it. Wearing a shirt that says “Daughter of an Alpha” would be the appropriate way to do that. Any non-member who wears our letters can be sued by my fraternity. So, this is quite serious business. I doubt Lalah knew about our policies before taking this picture, so definitely no love lost. Would it be in poor taste for her to do this again now that she knows? Yes, it would.

  • Chayna Davis

    Pledging is a dedication. Wearing the letters of a sorority or fraternity is a right. Only justified by the person who pledge. She could’ve worn a picture of her father wearing an Alpha t-shirt or hat. NOT the hat

    • Hillary Newton

      LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLZ A right?! To wear a HAT?!?! Man That beeping you hear is you clown car please hop in.

  • Hillary Newton

    It’s a hat, lets remember that what is sacred to you is not necessarily sacred to the next person. If someone gave me the hat, I would wear it. No I didn’t go through all of the work to get these letters but at the end of the day. It’s a hat and those letters, are just letters. To me. You cannot dictate what is going to be sacred to me . This is not a religion, or a cultural nationality thing,It’s just a club people joined in college. I get you may have great memories and they might be important to YOU but they are not nor will the ever be to me and most. If this means something you need to look back on the meaning of your club. Were there values? Did your values include Love and Honor of your Parents? The fact that this lady was doing that and some men felt that it was ok to attack her because she had on their Club letters is absurd and shows that the club has no values. It’s not that exclusive or that important to the rest of the world, and if your out or school, you need to grow up and focus on YOU not a hat or some letters. That is sad as hell.

    • Tony Armstrong

      There is nothing sacred or of value except that which people decide to make sacred or assign a value to. The flag isn’t, unless millions honor it. A cross means nothing, unless it becomes a symbol of a religion, a diamond is nothing but a some clear carbon that people have ascribed value to. I could go on… And you respect those things to some degree, do you not? You mentioned that this isn’t a cultural thing; in fact it is. So why can’t we ascribe value to the specific combination of letters “A”, “Φ”, and “Α”? And if we do, can we not object to others using those letters in that combination?

      But I understand how you see membership (and by extension, the individual members) of Fraternities (and likely sororities). It’s just a “club people joined in college.”

      Based on your comments, you seem to hold the position that if it’s meaningless to you, then why should you worry about it. I very respectfully suggest that’s wrong-headed.

      The tribute was wonderful. Thank you Lalah, from one of you true fans. But next time, do it a lil differently. Thanks.

      • Hillary Newton

        I get you see my view as “wrong headed”, I’m sure that is because you belong to that particular club. I have an issue with people worshiping symbols to the point that when someone else doesn’t worship them the same way they are considered “wrong headed” . There are others in this world who think that strongly. I can respect the fact when it’s a religious thing but not a club thing. I’m sure you had to work your ass off to be recognized by your peers, you then found yourself in a brotherhood of sorts. I know of other brotherhoods. So My issue with this was the blatant disrespect these “Brothers ” had for one of their own. His child tried to honor him and all they could see is This GIRL was wearing a hat or some ‘letters’ she didn’t “earn” a and didn’t have the so called “right” to wear. (Like they OWN these letters. please) This lets me know that they have no honor for their fallen, that their children will not be considered family. That this club is so exclusive that it is more important to hurt that to hold one of their children to their chest and grieve the loss . So I do not believe that *I’M* the wrong headed one. I am not the one excusing the bad behavior of my fellow brothers. Or ignoring it. They were in the wrong. She was not a part of the club so SHE does not have to follow the rules. No one that’s not in the little mans club has to follow their rules or beliefs but them.

        • Tony Armstrong

          First, I do belong to this particular “club.” Second, no one “worships” anything. As with most things that people value, they move to protect them from time to time. I don’t care if you respect the symbols of our Fraternity or not. But there are many things I don’t like that I still respect because other people value them. That’s your choice if you don’t do choose to do that. Just don’t be mad when someone who does respect them, calls you out on your actions.

          No one had ANY disrespect for Brother Hathaway. And had it be a BOY who wore the hat, the result would have been exactly the same – maybe worse. (You seem to be painting this as some example of sexism. If so, you’re quite incorrect – whether or not you believe what I say or not).

          And in fact, the combination of letters “A”, “Φ”, and “Α” in that order is a registered trademark. But that’s being nitpicky. If you’d like to, you can check out: https://trademarks.justia.com/owners/alpha-phi-alpha-fraternity-inc-372817/ to see the fact that, yeah, we do “own” those letters in that combination.

          She is as welcome as any daughter or son of an Alpha to honor their father. In fact, there’s plenty of paraphernalia that says just that: “Daughter of An Alpha” or “Son of An Alpha.” We love and welcome such tributes!! Just because we ask that Fraternal protocol be followed, doesn’t mean we don’t grieve Brother Hathaway’s untimely demise, and CERTAINLY doesn’t mean we don’t honor him, or find his child’s grief any less real or palpable. Those are assumptions YOU make erroneously (not the first of such errors, either).

          I’m also not excusing “bad behavior” by anyone, my Brothers or otherwise. I’d condemn it in fact.

          Lastly, the derision in your writing is palpable, by the way. Why you feel the way you do, I can do nothing about. It’s not my business. I’m certain you don’t believe you’re wrong-headed; you seem the type to believe her way is the only way, and if that makes you happy, then rock on. But this “little man’s club” has its practices and protocols that yes, contrary to your assertion, others have to follow too.

          PS: If you’re upset about these “men’s clubs,” you know women have their “clubs” too, called Sororities where we God-Awful, oppressive and terrible men aren’t welcome. With very similar rules and protocols. If you haven’t already, perhaps you should research them. 😉

  • JuJuman

    I have been an Alpha for over 45 years, I pledged long and hard ( when brutal “hazing” was not only accepted, but was a daily reality) — I earned my letters and all the privileges of Brotherhood, yet I take absolutely no offense in this loving tribute by a daughter to her great Alphaman father!!! Laylah is not “disrespecting our Fraternity or trying to perpetrate membership,as long as she does not wear our letters on an ongoing basis because of fraud or cheap publicity stunt. She loved her father Donny and he loved our Fraternity — and we should be pleased to be so beloved!!!

    • ConcernedInPhilly

      Kind gesture, but inappropriate, dear brother. I’m certain you’re aware of our policies on disposal of paraphernalia and the like. No love lost for Lalah, but in the future, she needs to honor Bro. Hathaway’s affiliation with us in different ways.

      • Ang

        Or what?

      • Hillary Newton

        You sound like someone has a copy of the codes to your secret decoder ring… Grow up skippy

    • Hillary Newton

      YOU I respect. And if More of your Alphas thought like you I would respect them. It’s obvious that if the gentlemen of YOUR TIME are like you, well you all may want to revisit your old fraternities and do some interventions with the younger crowd. They seem to have forgotten what their Brotherhood was suppose to be about. I hope you have a pleasant day sir.

  • N. Doby

    Hell no. This is crazy. She should not be wearing the letters. Owning her father’s nalia to remember him is fine, but actually rocking the letters…and posting a photo? Hell no! Ppl are going too far. If you are not a member of a BGLO, then you should not wear letters. This is so disrespectful. Now everybody will think it’s ok.

    • Hillary Newton

      Why is it disrespectful to wear a hat or lettering on a hat from a club someone made up like 60 years ago? It’s a old hat. I see them shits at Flea markets all of the time. No one cares about their little Brony club… Crying over a old hat. ..Please.. BTW Respect it earn, It is not earn by talking down to someone or TELLING and DEMANDING another adult play by your rules. The same mentality you have about this … well there are political groups that feel you should give THEM respect as well For the VERY SAME reasons… Keep that in mind before you or your friends start Demanding respect that you/they have not earned out of anyone.

      • N. Doby

        You clearly know NOTHING about BGLOs, so shut the hell up. Please and thank you.

        • Hillary Newton

          I know everything I need to know by your eloquent reply. What I do know about BGLO’s is that they have an issue in HAZING … that’s bullying right? Didn’t someone die because of it? If I remember correctly Hazing is an honored tradition among BGLO’s . Nothing like having a traditions that include MURDER to make you special. Eh? What’s wrong didn’t like what I said about your little clubs? Mad because I don’t have any respect for your dance partners. I know that if they are any thing like you, I know they deserve zero respect from anyone. Obviously the time of Fraternities on college campuses is over. They need to be disbanded if they attract creatures such as yourself my dear. Looks like the idol …er symbol worshipers have gone the way of the dino. I could be wrong. Why don’t you give us a list of amazing things that they did this year. Something that my children haven’t done in the last 20 years starting when they were 7. Like feed the homeless, raise money for the women’s shelters, raise money for the boys and girls clubs, start chapters of the FFOA, volunteer in crisis centers, Give CPR classes, raise money for education and books. I could go on. What may have started as a good Idea in the past has turned into something sick and twisted now. People are dying, your attitudes of demanding respect that hasn’t been earned smacks of elitism. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you might want to do some research. It’s all over google. What Goggle knows is some not so good things about BGLO’s. You admire it to your core, that says a lot about you. Robert Champion,Robert Brazile, Nathanial Swinson,Vann Watts and I’m sure a few more would probably tell you, take a seat and Find some direction in your life.

          • N. Doby

            I’m really not interested in arguing with an idiot, so why don’t you STFU and go read about what our organizations actually do for the community (and the world). Good day.

            • Hillary Newton

              Hahahaha You don’t know who they are… That’s funny and part of your history. Now who is the idiot? Your organizations don’t even do as much as the Girl Scouts. LOL ..Defensive much? Your living in denial. You want to be important but your not.. Welcome to the real world. Enjoy your little fantasy because that is all you really have. You can call me all the names you want. The facts will not change. I think you are afraid to look. Go look and see what your organizations are about. The names are right there. Don’t you want to know how important they are?…… I’ll bet you don’t

          • N. Doby

            You sound incredibly stupid. If you would have at least tried to do some research, I would have entertained this debate a little bit. I can’t debate with stupid. Not even a little.

            • N. Doby

              If you are interested in learning about BGLOs and the work we do in the community (and the world), I suggest you read and educate yourself. That would probably make you sound less like an idiot. Good day.

              • Hillary Newton

                I have read plenty about your history and the people who loved your little club as much as you. Why don’t you see how much they loved it. Robert Champion,Robert Brazile, Nathanial Swinson,Vann Watts. Loved your clubs soooo much. You really should see how much.

                • fhsmct

                  If you’re going to quote the HuffPost article, at least read it correctly: Champion, was not in a fraternity. He died as a result of a marching band hazing incident.

                  What the article conveniently failed to mention was that the others you mentioned, who died as a result of hazing: their attackers were legally prosecuted w/ the full backing and support of the respective BGLOs because, for a long time now, hazing has not been sanctioned and, in all 50 states, is a criminal offense . . .

                  • Hillary Newton

                    Did I fail to mention that ONE out of the whole group was in band? Oh my bad.. HAY GUYS > ONE OF THEM WAS IN BAND SO JUST IGNORE THE REST< There I fixed it. And yea… MURDER usually is a criminal offense. I heard a rumor that it was illegal in many other countries too. Imagine that.

            • Hillary Newton

              I’ve done my research… Have you done yours? Awww I’m sure you talk to yourself everyday.

              • fhsmct

                Just off the top of my head, the following, no where close to being all inclusive, seemed to see the think or thought (for the deceased) membership in a BGLO was meaningful:
                Dr Dorothy Height,
                Rev Martin Luther King, Jr,
                Dr Betty Shabazz,
                Dr Myrlie Beasley Evers-Williams
                Coretta Scott King,
                Dr Johnetta Cole,
                Dr. Julianne Malveaux,
                Nikki Giovanni, ,
                Barbara Jordan,
                C Delores Tucker,
                Maya Angelou,
                Dr Mae Jemison,
                Hazel O’Leary,
                Corrine Brown,
                Rev. Willie T. Barrow,
                Rear Admiral Lillian Fishburne,
                Tonea Stewart,
                etc, etc . . .

                • Hillary Newton

                  You have a great group from back in the day. Looks like you guys have a lot of people to pull out of your hat to wave around. Still, I wonder would these people have attacked this lady publicly? Huh…. I wonder how they would feel to see that whenever these organizations are in the news now. It’s bad news. Pulling names out of a hat does not and will not ever sanction bad behavior. One thing does not equal to another. Their membership doesn’t balance it out. It’s like the sins of the father thing. just in reverse You can do bad then throw them up as a shield to show that you are good. We are looking at the actions we know of you. All I can find is the negative. Instead of defending that or excusing that you and your brothers might want to work on your public relations. Just stating the obvious. So much you can do that is so easly done. Focus on that not stuff like this. You guys are crawling out of the woodwork now. I’m finding it amusing. You cannot win because you cannot defend yourselves I haven’t spoken any lies. I haven’t said anything that wasn’t true. you guys can keepit coming. Until I get board. But Check this out. The more you guys say. The more negativity you put on the internet. Public relations…. hmmm

                  • fhsmct

                    See my reply to your other post on this subject as I easily found positive news and press releases.

                    The information is there, if you’ll actually look for it.

                    AND, once again, we have no control over what the “majority” media chooses to or not to publish . . .

          • fhsmct

            1.
            IF you’ll do the research, BGLOs, over recent years, have done all the things you list, and more, locally, regionally, nationally and, in many instances, internationally.

            2.
            Hazing is not a sanctioned activity and transgressors are taken very seriously, legally and otherwise.

            If you’ll do your research, there’s also been a major upswing of hazing within the high school and other non-professional sports ranks (travel teams, etc)

            • Hillary Newton

              I did and you know what I found out? MURDER is forever. It will take a LOT to remove the stain of MURDER dood. You guys keep telling me to research YET you still don’t get the fact that if YOU WERE DOING A LOT OF GOOD I WOULDN’T”T HAVE TO LOOK SO HARD FOR IT. Hello… where is the good stuff ? Hidden? Why am I going to dig through ARCHIVES to prove what YOUR saying is true? It SHOULD be the first thing I find . The VERY First. Wouldn’t you think. You cant blame that on the news or anyone else. That is the bed your organizations have made.

    • fhsmct

      Not her father’s nalia: it was presented to her Mom, the night prior, by an elderly Alpha . . .

      • N. Doby

        And that’s ok. But wearing it, then posting a photo in a public space is not.

  • MegaMan1000

    What part of Greece are these lovely people from?

    • too_real

      Exactly! Funny how none of these black “Greeks” replied to your question.

    • Hillary Newton

      I swear I was going to say that next..

  • I’m not part of the Greek life but if I saw Lalah Hathaway rocking one of my family reunion tees…. I would be on cloud 9!!!!!

    They must not know anout her or her father.

  • Avowed_Southern_Democrat

    I would encourage her to enjoy the para but alter it as she and her sister did the shorts by embroidering “Daughter of an” in front of the letters. On a similar note, Alphas should remember to leave instructions on the proper disposal of para after we enter the Omega Chapter. 40 years in my beloved fraternity.

    • Tony Armstrong

      I was going to say the same thing, re: proper disposal of para. Point well made…

      • fhsmct

        Actually, you’d be surprised how many folks are walking around, portraying themselves as members of fraternal organizations (Devine Nine, Masonic/Shrine/Eastern Star, etc, etc) but aren’t!

        You see it in all walks as there has also been a lot of recent publicity about people falsely claiming to be Metal of Honor recipients, Navy Seals, Army Green Berets and Rangers, etc, etc . . .

  • Brandon Weaver

    I am an Alpha, and I’ll admit I’m not 100% cool with it, but I get it in this case. Now if she started wearing Frat gear all the time, I would definitely have a problem.

    • C2C

      This is how it starts, though…little by little.

      • Brandon Weaver

        That is what I’m afraid of as well.

    • Ang

      Why would she wear Frat gear all the time? People here act like folk are just dying to wear fraternity/sorority gear.

      • Brandon Weaver

        In this day people are incredibly attention starved and will do ANYTHING for attention. People aren’t dying to wear fraternity/sorority gear. Ironically, I haven’t worn any of my own gear for a few years. (Not ashamed of my frat, just don’t feel the need to draw attention to myself. People who know me know who I am.) And I initially said while I’m not 100% cool with it, but I get it. And Lalah definitely doesn’t need to wear Alpha gear to get attention. She wouldn’t wear it all the time. But I know of weak brothers who do let their girlfriends wear it. And they will wear it until someone calls them on it.

        • Hillary Newton

          I wish someone would tell me I couldn’t wear something AT ALL. Go ahead with your special jackets and hats.. You guys are twisted. Seriously there is something wrong with you guys.

          • Allie

            I wish you would too, you are hella pressed and thirsty lol

            • Hillary Newton

              Dood I don’t even know what that means… I’m guessing it’s an insult. So sure… Whatever. I feel … Bad?? Now…

    • Hillary Newton

      Who Cares?!? If I buy that stuff second hand It’s MINE!! You don’t get to say I cannot where something I bought. Do you guys even look at what you write?!?!

  • This is dumb, I mean what are they going to do if she doesn’t remove HER late father’s hat? Nothing at all…

    • Masterpieced

      Her stardom is based on fan base. She would be wise to apologize.

      • Do you think those are her fans? I doubt any of them are but me? I wouldnt apologize for ish but we’ll see what she ends up doing.

        • Hillary Newton

          exactly

      • Hillary Newton

        She has real fans , obviously not you .. That sounds like a threat ALPHA. Is that what Alphas do? Threaten and Bully women? Thanks for showing your true colors Alpha. Now I see you for who you are.

      • fhsmct

        I’m a member of a BGLO and, at the time this controversy popped up, just happened to have her “Live” cd in my car’s cd player.

        With this so-called “controversy”, not only will I continue to play it, I plan to purchase copies of her other efforts for myself and as gifts to others as a show of support!

        If folks can continue to support & make excuses for child molesting “RK” (you know exactly who that is!), then I dang sure will support this sister who continues the true genre . . .

        • Hillary Newton

          Are you talking about the Guy that sang I believe I can fly. the weirdo that was peeing on little girls back in the day? That guy!? He was a sicko. Who in their right mind would continue to support him after that video?!?! People who just don’t want to believe he did it. That gross man. Totally sick. It’s too bad that more BGLO’s are not like you.

          • fhsmct

            His records continue to sell and radio stations continue to play his music. I own none of his works, change stations when he comes on and have written letters or protest to outlets that support him . . .

    • fhsmct

      Although I’m fully in support of Ms Hathaway and what her intent was, actually, it isn’t her late father’s hat.

      Its a hat an elderly Alpha gave her mother, the night prior, at one of her performances here in the metro-DC area . . .

      • Thanks for the info… but my point still stands, she should be able to honor her father in anyway she chooses as long as shes not hurting anyone.

        • fhsmct

          If you’ll read my posts throughout these replies, I never said she shouldn’t nor couldn’t!

          I totally understand, respect and support her intent . . .

          • I understand, my response was moreso for people so offended. I mean, back in the day I dated a Kappa and he had this paddle that was apart of some ceremony, it had the letters on it and symbols and he did not treat it like it was sacred lol He must have paddled me a million times with that thing, I had a pic pretending to lick it for crying out loud- so These greeks cant have it both ways.

            • fhsmct

              I hear ya’! . . .

  • Ang

    “they don’t allow ANYBODY who didn’t cross to wear the paraphernalia.”
    Lalah doesn’t need their permission to wear something that belongs to her father and is in her possession. We all know she is not in a fraternity. The man who tugged on the author’s shorts to see if she violated a rule was totally out of line. That’s crossing into someone’s personal space.

    • ConcernedInPhilly

      Actually, she does. Any non-member who wears legal trademarks of a sorority or fraternity (in this case, Alpha Phi Alpha) can be sued. So, this is not a trivial matter. Lalah clearly did not know about all of that. Now, I’m sure she knows. No love lost. She wasn’t doing this maliciously–but she needs to respect her father’s affiliation with the fraternity in different ways moving forward.

      • Ang

        Sued for what specifically?

        • Tony Armstrong

          Copyright and Trademark infringement. Violation of Title 15 United States Code 1124 et seq. – but no one is going that far. No one is suggesting she be sued…not in the least. But since you asked.

          Source: my 20 years as an Alpha, and page 16 of the 2010 edition of the Alpha National Protocol & Etiquette Manual.

          • Ang

            Has any Alpha ever won one of those lawsuits?

            • Tony Armstrong

              I don’t know the answer to your question, but I’m sure if I called our National HQ in Baltimore, I could find out how many cases actually went to trial. As far as winning is concerned, Trademark infringement is easy to prove and the penalties can be draconian, so it’s not worth it to do. Most are ended before court with Cease and Desist demand letters. The threat of court is usually enough to deter infringement. Hell, there are things that *I* cannot (and other things I *should not*) do, as a duly initiated Brother, with my letters and Fraternal symbols and designs. All of this is spelled out in detail by the General Organization.

            • Tony Armstrong

              But again, no one suggesting Lalah be sued. No one.

            • Hillary Newton

              No need because they cannot sue… This was just a fantasy …

          • Hillary Newton

            You mean this code? You got Jokes dood.

            15 U.S. Code § 1124 – Importation of goods bearing infringing marks or names forbidden
            Except as provided in subsection (d) of section 1526 of title 19,
            no article of imported merchandise which shall copy or simulate the
            name of any domestic manufacture, or manufacturer, or trader, or of any
            manufacturer or trader located in any foreign country which, by treaty,
            convention, or law affords similar privileges to citizens of the United
            States, or which shall copy or simulate a trademark registered in
            accordance with the provisions of this chapter or shall bear a name or
            mark calculated to induce the public to believe that the article is
            manufactured in the United States, or that it is manufactured in any
            foreign country or locality other than the country or locality in which
            it is in fact manufactured, shall be admitted to entry at any
            customhouse of the United States; and, in order to aid the officers of
            the customs in enforcing this prohibition, any domestic manufacturer or
            trader, and any foreign manufacturer or trader, who is entitled under
            the provisions of a treaty, convention, declaration, or agreement
            between the United States and any foreign country to the advantages
            afforded by law to citizens of the United States in respect to
            trademarks and commercial names, may require his name and residence, and
            the name of the locality in which his goods are manufactured, and a
            copy of the certificate of registration of his trademark, issued in
            accordance with the provisions of this chapter, to be recorded in books
            which shall be kept for this purpose in the Department of the Treasury,
            under such regulations as the Secretary of the Treasury shall prescribe,
            and may furnish to the Department facsimiles of his name, the name of
            the locality in which his goods are manufactured, or of his registered
            trademark, and thereupon the Secretary of the Treasury shall cause one
            or more copies of the same to be transmitted to each collector or other
            proper officer of customs.

            There is nothing in that code that says you cannot WEAR something only that you cannot sell it or reproduce and import it for sale or profit. What? You don’t have google?

            Again Code talk .. The use of words that most people will not take the time to look up as obviously YOU didn’t ALPHA. You sound like you have been listening to the Fox News of the Greek squad..

            Looks like you may have wanted to spend more time on those books rather than dancing…

            • Tony Armstrong

              Apparently you missed the words “et seq” <- meaning "and what follows." You're free to read the entirety of Title 15, (and other relevant statutes) if you'd like, thus finding the penalties for the same infringement. Thanks for playing.

              • Hillary Newton

                What you are talking about is trademark like COKE. And if I was trying to sell something TO one of YOUR organizations with your letters, I would need permission. BUT Greek letters are public domain in the same way that English letters are you cannot own public property, That’s like saying you own the alphabet. Any alphabet. You cannot.Greek letters are used by millions of Greek speaking people. Maybe back in the day when the internet was not here you could take that information and believe it but not now. I do my research. I’m not perfect but I pay attention to that law. So anyone can wear the letters. Nice try though.

          • Chanda Graham

            You’re not infringing by wearing a hat someone gave you.

      • sue

        You need help, badly!

  • James

    I hate to say it, but this is why I think the black Greek organizations aren’t sh-t. Of course not all members, but as a whole, they seem to give off a clique-ish, arrogant air. Generally speaking most that I have met from a black fraternity or sorority have been very RUDE, INSENSITIVE, and DISORGANIZED. I have never heard of anything on a large scale that has helped with uplifting the black community, outside of regional or small scale philanthropy (and some don’t even engage in that), especially with all the thousands of members from each chapter of the Divine 9 organizations.

    I get the feeling these Greek letter organizations are more about pomp and circumstance, conventions/meetings, nepotism in the workplace, and dare I say… ‘steppin’ and probates (at the college level, of course).

    If there are any members of black Greek organizations reading this that thinks my opinion is off-base or poorly informed, please feel free to respond.

    • ♎Lauren♎

      You’re not alone sentiments hence my comment above.

    • JAI

      *sits and waits* lol

      Someone’s probably going to say you’re bitter because you weren’t chosen or you dropped. Thats the typical initial response.

      • James

        Right. But the crazy thing is, I never had a desire to pledge even with the encouragement of others. When I heard and saw the things people were doing to get “accepted,” it made me think ‘this represents brotherhood?’

        • Not about that life

          Exactly. I don’t know if all “black greeks” degrade, beat and humiliate their potential members but they certainly did at the HBCU I attended. And the majority that pledged were not seeking “brotherhood”, they were seeking the attention of women.

    • 1Val

      I’ve never thought much of the Divine Nine either.

    • Masterpieced

      I am in on of the Divine 9 groups. I dare not say which. I agree with you. Nowadays they are more about tradition than actual national help. Yes, they give local scholarships. But form the annual dues they get, where is the power given to actually help in voting, Black Lives Matter, etc.?

      • fhsmct

        On a national level, each of the Devine Nine sponsors and participates in programs that have a positive effect on our communities.

        Unfortunately, people need to realize that they can no be all, for all, too all.

        I oft times hear the same unfair, unsupportable complaints about the NAACP, NAACPLDF, Thurgood Marshall Fund, UNCF, the Urban League, etc, etc & even about some individuals (Mike Jordan, Oprah, Shaq, etc).

        AND, most of the complainers are “talking the talk” but not coming anywhere close to “walking the walk.” . . .

    • Tony Armstrong

      I’d gladly take the time to respond, but why waste the effort?

      Your opinion – clearly articulated and spelled out as a “general” one, in your first paragraph – makes it clear that you hold me and other members of D9 organizations in such low esteem as a whole, that nothing I say or demonstrate will work to counteract it. So, enjoy your position.

      • James

        That’s why I said “of course not all members…” I was making a statement based upon the majority of those that I’ve encountered and what I’ve seen. I’m not in a frat, so that’s why I welcomed those who are members to respond. No offense.

        • Tony Armstrong

          Saying “why I think the black Greek organizations aren’t sh-t. Of course not all members, but as a whole,” pretty much defines your POV that by and large our organizations ain’t sh*t. As a whole. And by extension those who are members ain’t sh*t either. Which is offensive.

          Perhaps saying those INDIVIDUALS that you’ve come in contact with aren’t shit is a better approach. Am I offended? Slightly. Because while you don’t know me, (it is not going to cost me sleep or sweat) you’ve essentially said that the hundreds of hours and yes, dollars, I (and others) spend trying to keep our black boys whole and happy with positive influences and experiences, for example, mean less to you than the relatively few asses that you’ve had the displeasure to meet.

          When your own people (I assume you’re African-American) see what you work hard to build as either useless or worse, one can’t help but be a little ticked off. But hey…

          • James

            Well let me apologize. I did not mean to offend you or those that commit to uplifting the community or lives of others, Yes, I did say I think black Greek organizations “aren’t sh-t.” Maybe I could’ve articulated my sentiments a bit better without glossing over the efforts members that are clearly good people with good intentions. So for that, I apologize.I’m not attacking you or anyone else personally. My opinion is directed at the collective and what it currently appears to represent. We are both biased due to our experiences, you – a member of a BGLO and me – someone that has had ‘not so good’ experiences with members of black sororities & fraternities.

            There isn’t much community visibility when it comes to the philanthropy of black Greeks, especially for those not affiliated with BGLO’s. To me, there appears to be a mystique and secrecy when it comes to sharing their work with the public, but a national defense on their part when someone misconstrues their message. Of course negative things get the most attention and media time but I would like to see more positive things publicized about the efforts of BGLO’s (mainly due to their numbers of members and alliances that they could form to make a large impact). Sadly, the backlash Lalah Hathaway got only helps to reinforce those negative stereotypes about BGLO’s.

            Dr. MLK Jr. was an Alpha. In no way do I think he isn’t sh-t. In fact, I have endless respect for him. That was just my way of expressing my disgust vis a vis a perceived system that (based on my experience) has been full of the petty and not enough of the progressive. So my apologies, brother.

      • Hillary Newton

        I hold any organization in low esteem if they give me reason. How is it that so many people are saying the same things about you. Is it some large world wide conspiracy? Or maybe there are some serious issues that need to be addressed. Dismissing opinions of people by saying things like “They probably weren’t accepted anyway to make your selves feel better doesn’t solve an thing.” I was in plenty of clubs, Living in a house full of female was not something I wanted to do in my youth. I like my freedom and privacy too much. Your clubs are in crisis, too many people see no value in them So you might want to look around and see what you can do for your public image because as of now. No one seems to like you guys very much unless they are into clubs like that.unfortunately for you, that is not many people out side of your own cliques.

      • Brandon Weaver

        That’s exactly why I dipped on this conversation frat. You can’t have rational discussions with angry people, and quite frankly, this issue isn’t that important to me. Lalah didn’t dis the frat, and I never suggested she did. But some people (HN) obviously have some anger issues and far too much time on their hands.

        • Tony Armstrong

          Points well made, Frat. And that’s why I’m leaving this discussion. I’ve *wasted* enough time. I can be doing real work.

    • too_real

      I agree….any black person that would want to be considered “Greek” has some serious mental problems in my opinion.

      That’s one of the main reasons I was never interested in the BGLOs. I always thought their very presence was disrespectful.

    • Guest

      A simple google search will answer your question.

    • Hillary Newton

      Dood you sound like you have made the best choice. These guys need to look at themselves. I Have been saying to them. Why should I or anyone else respect You? I don’t know you. By your actions you have shown that you do not deserve respect. You are not respectful to others. Your just a club. Nothing special to anyone but your own. People like belonging to cliques, it makes them feel important and safe.

    • Tony Armstrong

      Before MN disapproved my comment (probably because I spelled out the S-Word), I said…you know what it doesn’t matter.

      At the end of the day, you have your opinion. Myself and thousands of men (and women in Sororities) like me work hard spending lots of time, money and energy to dispel such a notion by serving our communities all around the country. If you believe we have no worth based on who you’ve met, then that’s what it is. What I do or say isn’t going to change that.

  • ♎Lauren♎

    All the problems in our community and we’re worried about a woman wearing a hat to honor her dad who was a member? I hope y’all are spending as much time registering people to vote or doing some other community service work as you are ripping Lalah Hathaway apart?

    • Masterpieced

      A person can do that and still be upset at her…..

      • D. R. Maggie

        Upset at her??? Get a life. PLEASE

      • Hillary Newton

        For what, wearing a hat!?! With some letters that someone picked out of a book? Yea I keep saying it because that is what this is. You and your little friends need to realize that your in the real world now and your little club is no more important than the League of Legends club that is/was probably at your school. A fancy name and a old house do not make you or them special or will garner any respect in the real world. Only to your little clique.

    • D. R. Maggie

      Thank you. Reminds me of that black Greek reality show that was cancelled meanwhile lhhatl and lhhny are still on. But OK.

    • Guest

      Black Greek organizations are public/community service based. So the people complaining do all of what you mentioned for our community and more.

      • Hillary Newton

        Really, because I never hear anything about these guys and I read the news every day. What are they volunteering? So what my kids started at the age of 7.

        • fhsmct

          As a member of a BGLO, I’ve staunchly defended Ms Hathaway throughout this on this and via other forums.

          However, the reason you never see any good news is the media, especially the mainstream media, doesn’t care to publicize the good, just the sensational.

          TRUST me when I say we submit news releases and announcments, pre- & post- events but, just as with many other good aspects of “our” community, they rarely receive the publicity.

          BUT, let one person F____ up and the spotlights are on . . .

          • Hillary Newton

            You personally and maybe one other gentlemen I have seen may be one of the good ones. The problem is people like YOU and him are few and far between. The majority that I have seen are not very nice. All of the news I have ever seen about BGLO’s is either about stepping or bad news. Before I said anything about your lack good works I looked. There was nothing.If there was enough excitements generated about what your organizations do you would ping on google. Even I can find my work and I’m not a famous person. You cannot blame that on the news networks these days. Not when you can create your own news, your own dedicated web page and news centers showing the good things that have been done. Showing how hazing has been addressed and there is a no tolerance issue. Showing the positive. If your not showing up that simply means your not doing enough to generate interest simple as that. You are not trending unless your on a vine entertaining. That speaks volumes. The unpleasantness of the organizations are easily found though and that speaks volumes.

    • Hillary Newton

      Thank you ..Like what are YOU doing with your life?!?! They are too busy dancing and posturing to actually be doing any good.

  • Chiddy-Chiddy

    I swear some of these ppl need to get over themselves! It’s not that damn serious. This is what happens when people let their organization define who they are instead of the other way around- Speaking from 10 yrs of AKA.

    • sue

      Agreed! They don’t know who they are an are defined by a group. Clique!

  • C2C

    Please take off the hat, Lalah! Honor your father in another manner. He earned those letters; you didn’t. What if Donny’s male relative (who’s not an Alpha) wore this hat? That would be very disrespectful, as well. Clearly, she does not know the protocol.

    • D. R. Maggie

      Lol “earned those letters” such small lives us black people live to defend LETTERS with our lives. GROW UP. You are not nor will you EVER be important enough to tell a woman how to honor her father. Maybe within your org but to no one else

    • Hillary Newton

      Clearly she does not know protocol because she is not in you little boys club dood take a seat. You guys are lame. No child is going to tell me a grown ass woman what I can and Cannot wear. Take your cult mentality on with that.

  • K_

    yeah ….no…. this is part of the reason i decided not to join way back when…they just take it wayyy too serious..too mob cult like for me… there was a picture floating around few years back of a homeless looking latino man in a Delta shirt and reading these other examples its clear it aint that sacred if they donating shirts. And the woman clearly said in the caption DAUGHTER OF.. not like she was claiming SHE..as a woman crossed…i just cant with the greeks

    P.S. im glad she didnt take the picture down and hope she doesnt

  • alpha1906

    “Nah.” Signed…Alpha of 31 years.

  • Tony Armstrong

    The fact that Lalah chose to honor My Fraternity is greatly appreciated. Greatly. Her father, was proud in his being an Alpha – and we are proud of him, his legacy secured in Fraternal lore as he rests at peace in Omega Chapter. It’s clear that Lalah gleaned the same feeling of pride in Our Fraternity as the author of this piece did, as she celebrated her father’s Bond with Our Brothers. That’s the power of Fraternity. That’s the power of OUR Fraternity. It’s that same Bond – the shared experience – that entitles us to wear the letters A, Φ, and A. And we guard that privilege zealously. Note, no one came at her crazy, because we DO understand that humanity comes before all else. And she IS celebrating her father and us, AND it’s great publicity for Alpha, so the request to not wear the letters is delivered with gentility, respect and love…Many will only see “petty” in the (light) objections lodged by Brothers – and that’s fine. I don’t expect them to understand. We know the honor is there, no malice suggested. We just ask the tribute be a little different.

    • fhsmct

      Actually, there have been serious threats and derogatory comments made towards her.

      As you and many others of us have stated, the pic was clearly intended to honor her father and his association/membership in the organization. Additionally, the hat was presented to her and her Mom, the day/night prior, at one of her performances here in the metro-DC area. It’s not like she’s walking around, repeatedly and constantly wearing the hat.

      Appreciate and accept the gesture for what it was: a show of respect and love fr both her father and an organization he held near and dear! . . .

      • Tony Armstrong

        If there were threats made against her, I would call into question those individuals. I’m the most gung-ho Alpha at heart and action but there’s still respect and compassion that is required, so foolishness is not necessary. I don’t know if they were my Frat or not; I’d hope not.

        I appreciate the hat’s origin, and as I said, I also greatly appreciate her honor and tribute to My Dear Alpha Phi Alpha.

        • fhsmct

          I wish you could have heard the callers on WHUR (Howard Univ’s commercial radio stations) as they discussed the matter.
          Many of the callers claimed membership in APhiA and the many of comments were unflatering

        • Hillary Newton

          Respect from WHO?!?! For WHAT?!?! You still cannot tell anyone here who is not in your club WHY you should be respected. Just by your own words dood , you are saying she should RESPECT you guys because you belong to a CLUB?!?! A C-L-U-B?!?! WOW I can’t get past the mentality! Are you really serious right now?!? Privilege mentality much?

    • Hillary Newton

      If MANY others will only see the ‘petty” then you may want examine what you are doing. What your member did and are doing. They are being childish and disrespectful to a person who was paying tribute to one of your own. This is why you clubs are not taken seriously except by people who are in the club or people who like the club. All we can see thus far is meanness covered in code speech. How about talking about the wonderful aspects of your club when you talked to her on line letting people know what you were about, how about a thank you for putting us out there we are honored that you thought enough of us to put our fraternity in the for front of the public. Because I personally had never given the “Alphas” a second thought, now that I can see what they are about, What they have shown the world, I can tell that they may have started out as something wonderful, but now has changed into something not so wonderful. Instead of asking the tribute to be different you should apologize for your members who are an embarrassment, who forgot their code and should have handled this in a private and civilized manner. Your Alphas thought they were so special that they felt they could chastise a grown woman like a child. How dare you all. Those that opened there mouths and those that condoned it.

      • Tony Armstrong

        People will see the “petty” because that’s all the CHOOSE to see. Most of us HAVE thanked her for the tribute. Hell, if you read what *I* wrote, I go out of my way to thank her. Most of the other comments here say the same. THANK YOU LALAH! We appreciate you!! But if you CHOOSE NOT to see that, it doesn’t matter how many times it’s said. It’ll never be enough. Listen, it’s clear you have your agenda. The whole “chastising a grown woman like a child” nonsense…I don’t know how many other ways to say what I’m saying. And I’m going to stop trying. Happy? Like I said, before, I don’t expect them (or you) to understand. We know the honor is there, no malice suggested. We just ask the tribute be a little different.

        • Hillary Newton

          Typical,… I can only see what you show me, as of yet you have only defended the indefensible. Now that I put what you and your buddies did in black and white it doesn’t look so good. huh? Shall we ask the rest of the people here is what I said nonsense? Do you understand what the word chastise means? Here let me help you

          chas·tise
          ˈCHasˌtīz,ˌCHaˈstīz/
          verb
          verb: chastise; 3rd person present: chastises; past tense: chastised; past participle: chastised; gerund or present participle: chastising
          rebuke or reprimand severely.”he chastised his colleagues for their laziness”synonyms:scold, upbraid, berate, reprimand, reprove, rebuke, admonish, chide, censure, lambaste, castigate, lecture, give someone a piece of one’s mind, give someone a tongue-lashing, take to task, rake/haul over the coals;

          Well now that looks a little familiar. Are you saying that isn’t what is happening here and on her pages and on her messages?

          No you may be correct since she has been threatened and bullied. I can google those definitions too. When you see what you do and it doent look good, you may want to evaluate what your doing and make some changes. There is a gentleman on this page who was very gracious. He Looked at the situation like a grownup He could see like everyone else who wasn’t blinded by elitism that this lady was trying to do something wonderful and special. I gave him the respect he earned. Look through the board, you will notice that everyone who is not in your club or a fan of your club see’s what it’s club members are doing and is disgusted by their actions. What Alphas are doing is CRUEL.This is why I am putting all of you guys on blast. What Alphas are doing is SICK. In the end your experience as an Alpha might be wonderful, but what most people will know of you now is not a good look.Read for yourself THIS action you have taken is how we know you now. THIS is the defining thing and you all did it to yourselves, either by doing it directly or by condoning it. All we know is Alphas are mean Alphas are bullies Alphas are elitist . No one has an agenda, they just want you all to stop hurting and bullying a defenseless person. Because after this Her memory of her father is tainted, her tribute ruined, her thoughts about Alphas … well… if they treated you this way. What would you think of them? How would you feel if your daughter thought she was honoring you and she was.. what’s the word… oh yea.. Chastised. Think dood… this is how we see you now. What may have been something good back in the day, has tuned into this.

  • Allie

    She’s not homeless. She didn’t pledge APHiA soooo ma’am please removed it

    • Hillary Newton

      Send her an email or a text. She didn’t have to EARN a hat or the right to wear a Hat or the right to wear greek letters as they don’t BELONG to anyone. So yea, she can wear it all she likes. I would be offended if she did remove it just because some children are crying.

      • Allie

        Not my org not my place. But if it were my org, I would. Um and actually if an organization is trademarked or has info/ letters copywritten…then yes we can and will ask for a cease and desist.

        • Chanda Graham

          Actually there is no infringement involved in wearing a hat.

  • hatetoregister

    Life is too short for anyone to be offended about this. There are kids dying every single day. There are people who are homeless today. There are children and women being abused. There are men and women fighting wars they should not be fighting. This is incredibly insignificant! Incredibly!

    • Masterpieced

      Your statement makes no sense. We are not one dimensional. We can be upset and STILL care about other things.

      • hatetoregister

        My statement makes perfect sense when you realize that there are MORE IMPORTANT things in life than this woman wearing a greek hat! If THAT doesn’t make sense to you, then maybe you need professional help to understand that. This hat is a SMALL issue in the grand scheme of life!

  • GoldenGirl

    Sometimes people can’t see the forest for the trees. She is honoring her late father, that she loved dearly and an organization that she respects, most likely because of her father. My father is an Alpha and he passed three years ago. He was very active in Alpha Phi Alpha and his chapter performed his funeral rites at the wake, so I get it, fraternities and sororities are sacred. But that should not get in the way of the simple fact that this a daughter honoring, remembering and paying respects to her missed father.

  • MusikSoulChild

    Did people even read the caption? “#DaughterofAlpha” Crazy thing is, I was at her show last night in Bethesda and as my lady was buying a Lalah Hathaway Live cd, I actually witnessed an elderly gentleman (who was an Alpha) personally give that hat to Lalah’s mother and took a picture with her. So are all the Greeks going to get mad at an elderly Alpha man (who was at least in his late 80’s) for giving her mother the hat after the show too? Too many Greeks are concerned about “Letters” instead of the more important things in which they represent….for Alphas it’s: KNOWLEDGE, ACHIEVEMENT, SERVICE, INTEGRITY, QUALITY, HONOR, EXCELLENCE, and COMMUNITY. So many are quick to say, “we worked hard for our letters”….For some “hard work” is getting your ass beat and tolerating crazy tasks…..being Greek is more than being hazed….shout-out to the real Greeks who know the TRUE meaning of their organization and do more than just “step”. Carry on Lalah Hathaway…..it’s because of her the Alpha’s will be trending this week.

    • fhsmct

      Musik SoulChild: exactly! I listened to WHUR radio’s callers the next afternoon and a significant number of the callers, who were members of Divine Nine fraternities (I’m a member of OPPF, I) simply just didn’t get it! To any rational observer, she clearly was paying homage, honor and respect to her father and his love of APhiA, of which he was a member . . .

  • JAI

    I’ve always found black greeks amusing lol.

    I witnessed one trying to rip a shirt with another black Greek orgs letters off a homeless, mentally ill man. This wasn’t an overzealous neo or a spring chicken either lol

    • K. LaNiece

      That’s just ridiculous.

    • Tony Armstrong

      Why do you find members of Black Greek Letter Organizations amusing?

      Hopefully, you’re not generalizing all of us, based on the actions of one (or even a few) and assume the behavior of that one represents the whole. That’s patently unfair to the thousands of us who would never be so lacking in compassion.

      • JAI

        Not at all.

        However I do prefer to only interact with the ones that present themselves as a person, not a person of XYZ who automatically expects you to look upon them with reverence like Superman.

        Luckily, you usually know which type you’re dealing with fairly quickly in my experience.

        • too_real

          lol, right.

    • Eugene K Jones

      You’re lying.

      • Hillary Newton

        Doubtful by the answers here.

  • K. LaNiece

    While I don’t think she meant any harm, most people know that if you are not apart of the org, you shouldn’t wear the letters….PERIOD! Let’s not make a big deal of it, but the reality is if she is not an Alpha she shouldn’t be wearing any para! I don’t love her any less… Her father was and still is a legend.

    • Hillary Newton

      Screw that I’m going to by me a hat tomorrow and then what ? Are they going to cry…. It’s a hat, and that club is just a little boys club… :eyeroll: Wear what I want because I’m GROWN. Though at times I can be childish.. like them…

      • Eugene K Jones

        Hillary is obviously not a big fan of fraternities. That’s fine.

        But your lack of respect is unnecessary and says a great deal about your character. MLK was an Alpha, as was WEB Dubois and Thurgood Marshall.

        These “little boys” as you call them, demonstrated great character through their Manly Deeds. I suggest you do some research about the BGLO’s.

        Your ignorance does not represent itself well in public forums such as this.

        • Hillary Newton

          I see that you think your club is important. I’m sure your no girls allowed clubhouse was important to. I actually love many aspects of fraternities. I just don’t like a**holes.And I’m Not a fan of the elitism and sexism aspects of clubs such as yours. I want you to ask yourself, If that young lady had been MLK’s daughter, how you would have felt over the blatant disrespect These alpha’s would have given her? Your club obviously have no code, no honor to feel the need to how did you put it “represent itself well in public forums such as this”because if it was that serious your BROTHERS could have texted or messaged her privately. But then as you say they showed a great deal about their character. All of the men you mentioned above stopped crossed streets. Are the streets special now? Did they spread some magical fairy dust on those streets and that made the streets better or special?YOu said, ” These “little boys” as you call them, demonstrated great character through their Manly Deeds.” Yea I saw a clear example of their so called manly deeds. That is why we are here now. In THIS public forum. They acted like children, So are you. I don’t see the need to research the character of these men when we are currently debating their actions in a public forum. I am looking at your actions. Insulting educated code word talk.. cute.. But I am not buying it. Your not special, They are not special, your little club is not special it is just a club. She wore a hat with some letters Big deal. What’s crazy about all of this is at NO point did you address the disrespectful actions of the men who felt like it was ok to attack her RATHER than approaching the situation in a civilized and EDUCATED manner. You defend it. My actions, ignorance, nor statements are not on trial here. Your little club and the actions of the members your club are. And all you have done is proven that all I have said is true there is nothing to respect because respect is earned you cannot get it by beating your chest and demanding it. So you need to take your ball and go home, the street lights are on.

          • cleva

            I told a Delta her organization was a club that’s no more important to her as a church lady’s women’s group. She told me that was disrespectful. I can’t stand the elitist mindset of the greek system. This mess over wearing a hat of an organization her father was a part of just confirms my thoughts.

            • Hillary Newton

              Disrespectful… I can’t with that word and talking about a club… seriously.

  • sunni_daze

    People can always find something to complain about.

  • TRB1

    But she isn’t homeless. She’s more than likely more well off than a lot of folks. But I think you have to be Greek to understand. We work HARD for our letters. It’s not some walk in the park. I get that some people less fortunate may find pari and wear it because that’s all they have. And I understand that she was just trying to honor her dad. But find another way to do it. If anybody could go around wearing Greek letters then it wouldn’t be an issue. Letters are something that you work for. They aren’t just something you buy at the store like a new pair of shoes. With those letter comes honor, respect, sisterhood/brotherhood and a host of other things. But until you pledge (which I have) and crossed (which I have) then you won’t understand what they really symbolize. You just think it’s some popular thing on campus. Hell she could have worn the hat and just not posted a picture of it. Or she could have taken a pic of the hat without her wearing it. There are other was to remember people and I don’t think this was the proper way for her to do it.

    • kierah

      As you mature, you realize as much as you enjoyed those college times and loved the sisterhood you found, that it isn’t that serious. It certainly isn’t worth blasting this sista who is just missing her daddy.

      And don’t assume that all Greeks will understand what you mean. We don’t.

      • TRB1

        I wasn’t assuming. Speak for yourself and not all Greeks. It may not be that serious to you (paper maybe?) but to myself and a host of others itis pretty offensive. There are other ways to remember someone.

    • Miss. Roscoe

      So, posting a picture of the hat is okay? But becomes disrespectful when she puts in on her head? You must have recently received your letters. It’s not that serious.

      • TRB1

        Yes. She didn’t join the organization. Her dad did. And actually I crossed almost 5 years ago.

    • fhsmct

      I’m a 35+ yr member of OPPF,I and I fail t see the offense in what she did. She was clearly doing so in memory and honor of her father. One of the cornerstones of our 5 Black fraternities is the respect for and protection of our women/ladies. It’s not like she’s walking around, claiming to be a member of a fraternity. I gave my godson future Que/Future Omega shirts thorough out his childhood as I currently do for the 4 yr old son of one of my friends.

      I have her Live cd currently in my car CD player and I’ll keep it in rotation even longer now that folks have so egregiously attacked/assaulted this Nandi/Nzingha!!

      Folks need to get a grip! . . .

      • Masterpieced

        “I gave my godson future Que/Future ”

        This is the difference. You did not give them a QUE shirt. She needed to stitch “daughter” on it. Problem solved. Fans happy.

        • fhsmct

          As I posted above, the interesting thing is that she/her Mom were given that hat, by an Alpha, the night before, at one of her performances here in the metro-DC area . . .

          • Masterpieced

            BUT NOT TO WEAR. I was given my a US flag after my dad’s funeral. He was a soldier NOT ME. I will not WEAR the flag!

            • fhsmct

              As a vet: no one should “wear” a flag as it violates The US Code. You are legal to wear a pin or patch but not a flag, itself.

              However, you are also authorized to fly that flag or otherwise properly display the flag that adorned your father’s casket.

              B4 you ask: I’m a vet: Infantry Airborne Ranger, Air Cav (attack and scout) helicopter pilot officer who commanded numerous burial details and also handles fallen soldier (repatriated deceased soldiers and vets) operations at a major airport in the DC area . . .

              • Masterpieced

                Just as others wearing Black Greek paraphernalia violates their code.

                • fhsmct

                  It’s an unwritten “code” just as no-one wears Masonic/Shriner/Eastern Star/etc paraphernalia based on a matter of basic integrity: if you’re not a member of an organization, don’t present yourself as being so.

                  In THIS instance, the young lady was clearly NOT portraying herself as being a member of APhiA, simply honoring and in memory of her father as a member of thereof and not portraying herself as being one . . .

                  • Masterpieced

                    BUT, others will feel the same entitlement. STOP IT.

        • sue

          Your identity is your sorority obviously. Safd you don’t know who you are outside of your letters.

          • Not about that life

            I had many close friends that joined fraternities and tried talking me into pledging but I was turned off from it just for that reason. I saw how they lost their own identities once joining and became engulfed the frat lifestyle. It really is cult like.

      • 1911

        Roo, Team! I agree with you 1000?
        FIETTS.

        • 1911

          “1000%”

    • N. Doby

      Exactly! Well said.

    • Hillary Newton

      YOU had to work hard for your little boys club. So?!?! It’s a club, with a house for you to stay in. A Club like any club, The Sailor Moon Club is important to me! If I see you in cosplay am I going to run up to you pointing ..BLASPHEMER!!!!! HE WEARS THE PRECIOUS!!!!! No it’s a club. GTFOH with that your club is special… Get over yourselves.

      • TRB1

        *little girls club… Different people value different things. And my letters are important and of value to me. I wasn’t offended by her wearing the letters my point is there are different ways.

        • Hillary Newton

          Exactly my point, people value different things. Look at what YOU JUST SAID IN REPLY. And yes there are girls clubs. Everyone knows this. they are just clubs too. I’m sure that those clubs are very special to the members.and strait up I’m a bit hard core about my membership in the Klingon empire. That doesn’t mean I expect everyone to be respectful of my club rules. It’s a club. Well I will admit there could be trouble if you bring a tribble to a club meeting but, still all in all in the end it is just a club.

    • sue

      Silly an petty! Clique mentality.

      • TRB1

        I suppose. Cliques will follow you every where you go. Rather it be at work church w/e.

    • Not about that life

      Do you frat boys ever grow up? Jeesh give it a rest, it’s not a big deal!

      • TRB1

        Not a boy. But I guess.

  • Van

    Sororities are just fraternity hunting grounds.

    • guest

      Yep and vice versa.

  • Van

    Btw, grown men are still stepping? Yeesh.

    • Masterpieced

      Grown men still dance. Still play basketball. Still play dominoes. Still do the Chicago step. WHY NOT? Anything that gets us moving is okay in my book. We are not a very mobile group of people after age 29….

  • Van

    Are they Hell’s Angels or something? It’s not that serious.

    • Masterpieced

      Is Hell’s Angels more serious to you?

  • MsNisha929

    I could understand people being offended if she tried to claim it as if she was an Alpha (which because she’s not a man she can’t be in a fraternity) but she was clearly paying homage to her late father. Some of the Greeks need to have a seat…

  • MocaPretty

    I think it was an honor and a way to honor her dad and the Alphas. What offense? It was done in good taste.

    • kierah

      Agreed. Some people need to get over themselves.
      So caught up in some letters that they failed to see the honor in it.

    • C2C

      Maybe her critics can solve this situation by giving her a “Daughter of an Alpha” shirt or hat.

      • fhsmct

        Interestingly enough, the hat was given to her/her Mom, the night before (at a concert here in the metro-DC area) by an Alpha . . .

      • Masterpieced

        I am sure that she can afford to buy her own such shirt or hat.

    • Masterpieced

      Good taste is subjective.

    • esh

      i tend to disagree. a great way to honor her dad by wearing something of his but i actually went thru the pledging process with a sigma and it ain’t nothing nice. although in hindsight i don’t agree with what happened still for him it was a dangerous and lengthy process. she surely could have found something else to represent him. js.

      • MocaPretty

        What diff does it make? Who determines how someone honors their parent certainly not a greek organization. I’ve seen homeless white ppl in Alpha Omega t shirts and Alpha attire. Get over she gave a shout out to the Alphas in doing so therefore kudos to her!

        • esh

          i guess you have to actually experience that scene to understand. while it is not that big of a deal it is certainly the principle behind it. yeah i have seen the homeless in the gear but they are hardly doing it on purpose and most are just tryna cover their behinds. like someone said she could have gotten a “daughter of a alpha” hat or something. them dudes work hard to get to wear the gear tho in hindsight i don’t really get the whole process, but it was a hard one none the less) so it means a lot to them.

          • MocaPretty

            what principle? She is honoring her DAD! End of story.