Man Shares How He Learned To Love Being Penetrated By His Girlfriend

March 25, 2016  |  

Image Source: Shutterstock.com

It’s Friday, so what the heck: let’s talk about pegging dudes.

More specifically, this article in Esquire magazine entitled, How My Girlfriend Helped Me Fall in Love with Getting Pegged.

And as the title suggests, it’s a heartwarming tale about the time Zachary Zane, a bisexual man who is in a loving and committed relationship with a woman, learned how to love getting a finger – and other things – in the butt.

But of course, it was a process.

Although Zane is bisexual, he writes that he initially wasn’t too keen on the idea, citing a bad singular experience as bottom during a night of rough, drunken and painful anal sex.

But…

“…when my girlfriend told me how arousing she found topping, I promised I’d give it another shot. Not just for her, but for me. I figured I must have been missing something. Queer men had sworn by bottoming since the dawn of man. My gay friends told me there’s nothing more pleasurable than proper prostate stimulation. Millions of men can’t be wrong, can they? I needed to find out.”

Zane writes that learning to love anal stimulation came with plenty of trial and error. The first time he tried it was with his girlfriend, she couldn’t get it in there, telling him, “You’re too tight because you keep clenching.”

Feeling that the problem was mental, his girlfriend suggested that he try stimulating his prostate alone in the shower. That time, the finger went in, but as Zane writes, he still wasn’t quite comfortable.

The next time I tried was with my girlfriend. After multiple attempts in different positions, I finally managed to relax enough for her to get her middle finger inside me. I laid with my back on the bed, legs bent, and it started to feel … nice. Like a massage, except on the inside of my body. I relaxed enough for her to slip her index finger in there too, and that’s when it started to feel really good. We kept it slow and shallow the first few times. After that, we started experimenting with toys and figured out what felt best for me. Thin, long, medium-speed, and vibrating — in case you were wondering. I would orgasm almost instantaneously when she entered me. I began to have orgasms that spread through my entire body like a pulsing electric shock, instead of simple orgasms localized to my junk.

I finally understood what all the fuss was about. I fully believed the hype.”

As Zane writes, the addition of butt-play into their sex life helped their sex life “take on a new and very pleasurable shape.”

He also added:

Although that relationship didn’t last (for other reasons), my love of bottoming did. In the year since my now-ex-girlfriend helped me discover anal delights, I’ve bottomed with many men and a couple of women. Bottoming with a woman, I’ve discovered, is not at all like bottoming with a man. When women play with my anus, it’s a big deal. It’s a thing. It’s kinky. But it doesn’t have to be. Nothing is inherently kinky about anal play. When I’m having anal sex with a man, it’s just sex. That’s what sex is for us. In today’s heteronormative society, where if a man likes anal play he must be gay (nope), many straight women have been afraid to ask me to bottom, afraid to offend me or make a presumption about my sexuality. The thing is, I am bisexual, but enjoying anal penetration has nothing to do with that. I fell in love with bottoming during sex with a woman, and I’m sure plenty of straight men like it too. Can’t hurt to ask, right?

Bottoming, now, has become something that is not only important to my sex life, but important to my well-being. It’s made me a better lover and a better boyfriend to women. Not only am I more aware of physical mechanics (I guarantee that your boyfriend will never power drill you again after you’ve penetrated him), but I feel more connected to the women I’m intimate with.

And sometimes, after I’ve had a rough day at work, I just want to get plowed by a hot woman. What can I say? A man’s got his needs.

I’ll be honest: I have always been curious about butt-play. However I have never had a partner willing to try, which is ironic because they have no qualms about wanting to stick themselves in just about any opening on my body they can find.

I understand though. Folks of all races, religions, genders and class seem to take issue with male penetration. It’s one of the reasons why folks got much more angry over Amber Rose mentioning alleged butt-play with Kanye West than they did over him calling her a “ho” – on multiple occasions.

Still, it’s also kind of messed up that millions – if not billions – of men deny themselves – and truthfully us too – a full sexual experience all because of a fear of “the gay.”

And according to Go Alice!, Columbia University’s health education site:

While anal play may be considered kinky and somewhat taboo, it’s a sexual practice that more than a few men and women, regardless of sexual orientation, enjoy. In men, this potent pleasure point is the prostate, which is found inside their anal canal. The prostate’s primary function, however, is to aid in reproduction. It does this by secreting a fluid into semen before ejaculation occurs, helping with sperm mobility and prolonging the life of the sperm once it leaves the penis.”

See, even nature understands the value in butt-play.

 

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  • Renee Wright Ragland

    Why does everything have to be termed “homophobic” or “heteronormal”? How about I just ain’t interested. Period. Not my type of hype. Done. I don’t need to qualify my reasons to anyone. Ain’t my thing. Ain’t my man’s thing. Everything’s not for everybody and funny how those who feel so victimized for being judged are the very ones to throw a label of judgement on you for not co-signing their ish. Please. Do whatever the hell jingles your bells. Most folks really don’t care and only comment out of boredom or just to pass the time.

  • KEMET

    If that’s what he desires then whats the problem? You all realize that a man’s g-shot is in his anus right? If he wants the ultimate pleasure then at least entertain the idea, it’s literally nothing off you.

  • Nunya Bizness

    TMI. That’s their biz.

  • M’kali-Hashiki

    The thing about homophobia/homohatred in the black community that gets me (I’m a Black Dyke) is this: Y’all know straight up that every word from yt about Black folk is a damn lie that just serves to keep them in power. So why would you believe them about anything/anyone else? All the stuff you learned about how disgusting gay folx are is crap you picked up from yt. Even the black nationalist spouting ridiculousness about “wasn’t no homosexuality in Africa until the white man came” learned that from yt & other homohating black people. Who’s behind the “kill the gays” bill in Uganda? YT. White people from the US, actually. White people who straight up say that they plan to take over Africa with Jesus instead of guns. YT has lied to you about who you are, who we are as a people since they first came into contact with us, but you gonna believe them about the crap they say about gays. SMDH at ya gullibility & your continuing to let them colonize your mind.

    Every time I see this bs homohatred on black websites, I lose my mind a little. But keep on swallowing YTs poison, so they can keep us divided & conquered while they laugh at how easy it is to manipulate you into doing so. I’m outta heah.

  • M’kali-Hashiki

    You have a higher risk of disease having unprotected sex with men who have unprotected sex with other people (male or female or other). Having anal sex without enough lubrication can make microtears that will make it easier to catch an STI if your partner has one. STIs do not discriminate by sexual preference/orientation. They are attached to *behavior*, the behavior being “having unprotected sex with someone who already has an STI”.

  • AkronGal1967

    This whole article is repulsive.

  • It it 5:00 o’clock yet?

    That just sounds so painful whether it’s being done to a man or woman. Yikes.

  • P.

    To paraphrase Jamar, if you are a man that like getting penetrated, somewhere down the line it won’t matter if it is a woman or man doing the penetrating

  • Purgatory Perhaps

    #MasculinitySoFragile in the comments. I love pegging. It’s laughable to say all the men who’ve cum real good from a prostate massage were gay. It feels good. Though, honestly, I don’t care if that makes my men less straight or me more gay. I’m unbothered by the primitive need to shame or denigrate the unfamiliar; I’m queer, black, and polyamorous: there will literally always be someone disparaging on who or how I’m fucking.

  • Brian Thornton

    He was gay from the jump. Point moot.

  • leibas01

    Many years ago, I had a partner that loved the finger. At the time, I was young and thought nothing of it. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve wondered about him. Men are into all kinds of things, it doesn’t make them gay or bi. With that being said, I don’t think I would feel comfortable; putting toys up a lovers behind. Hey some men like their nipples played with, nobody ever talks about that one. Hey if it turns you on, who am I to judge? What happens in your bedroom, is on you and your partner. Carry on.

    • Mrs.J

      Yea I knew A guy with the nipple thing lol.I was very young too.

  • Interested

    So I think sex is more than the mechanics. I like a guy going down on me, I wouldn’t be turned on if it was a woman although both could do both; statistically however lesbians seem to have more orgasms than straight women. Likewise, sex with a partner is better than some random guy.

    The point I’m trying to convey is that sex is more to do with the people with whom you enjoy the act rather than just the act itself. If a guy is comfortable and confident enough to enjoy a massage of a pleasure spot by his lady, I see no problem with that at all, and in fact I reckon he would be a better lover.

  • dubcc

    The story twists the likes of a gay/bi man into something that all men should want to do. Bottom on these nuts and GTFOH with that BS!

  • SuperPerm

    I just threw up

  • Mrs.J

    I look forward to a society where people stop telling everyone all of their business.Why did they write this,why?No one needed to know.

  • no ma’am Pam.

  • Homie91

    Thank you so much for this. I’m glad there are a few people with common sense on this board.

  • Isis

    I’m not touching no mans anal area. feels very unnatural.

  • Annamuffin

    Why is this site promting black women to date down economically, interracial and now g a y men something is going on…

    • What is wrong with interracial relationships?

      • Annamuffin

        Nothing they just promte a lot of stuff….

      • Masterpieced

        Lets find a white site promoting interracial marriage…..

    • Mrs.J

      Girl you are so right.I am open minded but this is taking it too far.

      • Annamuffin

        I mean I feel like they want black women to just take and settle for any kind of man or thing…. It’s like no other race promtes this stuff… Next they’ll be a article on dating transgender men, and how they are a better option…. They already had articles on dating guys with HI V, std’s, broke men, other races of men, and anything else….

        • Mrs.J

          They sure have.They especially love to tell black women to date down.They need to stop and come up with something else.

    • Trisha_B

      It’s like they think black women are so desperate so we must accept any & everything

    • Purgatory Perhaps

      Women in general, but especially WOC need to keep there dating options open. There aren’t necessarily enough financially affluent black men to go around, so it stands to reason.

      • Annamuffin

        But don’t you think they want us to stay to open…

      • Masterpieced

        Affluence does not equal happy marriages.

    • JustSaying

      Sure do! Don’t forget articles proclaiming that black men either hate or don’t support black women. I like this site but it’s clear they aren’t for black love which is sad because though I don’t believe the hype there will be some who will.

  • cryssi

    Ummm… I know it’s 2016, but we ain’t ready.

    Honestly those of us who we not a part of this up and coming gender bending sexually fluid open mentality probably had our souls briefly leave our bodies as we scrolled through the articles listed today.

    Personally, this ain’t for me. I’m still a liberal conservative. I believe everyone is free and should be able to do as they please as long as it doesn’t hurt others. I’m conservative because I don’t believe just because we should be able to do it, means we should do it, but I won’t try to blockade you with my beliefs.

    So if you want to do butt stuff with your man, and he’s cool with it, do you. Please don’t talk to ME about it though. Nothing personal and I won’t try to shame you for being who you want to be, but don’t try to shame me into thinking I should be as “open” as you.

    • Homie91

      No one force you to click on this article, THEN leave a comment. #ByeFelicia #YouTriedIt

      • cryssi

        You make no sense.

        I don’t have to explain why I opened the article, honestly boredom and wondering where the writer is going with this lead in.

        I left a comment because I wanted to. Just like you wanted to be upset by something as petty as a stranger leaving a comment, that neither condemns nor condones, about a subject chosen to clearly spark conversation.

        Grow up.

        • Homie91

          Nah, you need to grow up sweetie. You said you weren’t going to tell me why you clicked, THEN proceed to tell me why. *roll eyes*

          • cryssi

            I didn’t say I wasn’t going to tell you….I said, I don’t have to tell you.

            Lol, the best response to an insult is just repeat what the other person said. You got me with that classic comeback. Now I am feeling childish, so I will grow up and exit this tit for tat ridiculousness.

            “Progressive” folks kill me with the attack everyone with a different opinion than their own. This whole “because you’re not for it, you must be against it” is what’s really backwards to me.

            • Homie91

              Great, now log off.

          • Brian Thornton

            Virtual eye rolling. Yep. Conformation complete. Nothing wrong with that but I must ask. How often do you see articles praising hetrosex acts posted on gay sites? Why does the exposure only go one way?

        • straight men dont say bye Felicia… and dont sit around arguing with women IJS…

          • cryssi

            Lmbo, I didn’t say it.

            • I was talking about the dude who told u that… but forget it.

              • cryssi

                Lol, I know.

                I was trying to be sly with saying that I agree with you.

                You know when someone says an insult about someone and another person says, “Hey, I didn’t say it.” and laughs. Meaning, ha they got you and I agree with everything they said. You can’t get mad cause I didn’t say it first.

                Am I old? People don’t do that anymore?

      • Brian Thornton

        ‘ #ByeFelicia #YouTriedIt ‘ Are you sure your not gay?

        • Homie91

          I did that on purpose. I’m pretty sure I never had sex with another man. Were you born stupid, or did your mama drop you on your head?

      • Masterpieced

        Educated folk usually read. She had a right to read and leave her comment.

    • Lex

      “probably had our souls briefly leave our bodies as we scrolled through the articles listed today…” I HOLLERED reading this! Lol!!!!

  • Homie91

    Some of y’all women kill me with your gay shaming. Gay men also give each other bjs, you know.
    Should we also call other men gay for wanting a bj from their women?

    • So you’re gay? Nothing wrong with that…

      • Homie91

        Can you read, or are you just stupid?

        • Third choice, I just see through your gay azz. saying bye Felicia, typing out “rolls eyes” and arguing with women online… all those things show me you’re 100% gay.

  • Live_in_LDN

    I wouldn’t feel comfortable going near my guys butt but I don’t judge men who like that stuff. There is a g-spot up there and it was designed to go there for a reason so I don’t think a man is less of a man if he wants to engage with a pleasurable part of his body that is naturally there.

    • Homie91

      Just give it chance, you might like it.

    • charles

      There is a difference between going near it and going inside of it.

  • IntrovertedSE

    Well. Good for them. Their bedroom, their choice. It’s kinda funny. Whenever I even put my hand near my boyfriend’s butt he freaks out majorly.

    • charles

      As most straight men do.

      • IntrovertedSE

        Yes. I laugh with him and he tells me to chill out. If he liked it to the point he wanted me to do more I’d be a little weirded out. I can’t imagine putting my fingers in a guy

      • M’kali-Hashiki

        Yeah, it’s called “homophobia”.

        • anonymouse

          Maybe he just doesn’t want a hand up his a$$??

        • charles

          if a gay guy was at a social event and got touched in his private area by a woman and he freaked out by it, would that mean he is heterophobic?

          • Sumthin_Big

            LMAO!!!!

  • PEEKAY

    AS SOON AS I READ THE FIRST TWO LINES I STOPPED READING

    • laza

      OMG, I thought it was just me!!! Just sickening.

    • hf2hvit

      Oh, poo poo pee pee caca!

    • Sumthin_Big

      As soon I read the first 2 lines, I went straight to the comments.

  • Diane

    Honestly I believe more couples are experimenting. The days of frigid sexual relations are prehistoric. Meaning more couples are willing to try new things, that’s not only satisfying for the women, but also pleases the man as well. More women are willing to explore on him, as long as he’s comfortable with it.

    • Mrs.J

      That’s not experimenting that is called something else.No straight man wants to be penetrated by anything.Maybe get his groceries ate but even that is pushing it.

      • Homie91

        Let’s go back to the basics:
        Man + Man = gay
        Man + Woman = STRAIGHT.

        • IanMC

          Funny that people still have a hard time understanding this.

        • Mrs.J

          Um no.A man that wants his girlfriend to penetrate him definitely isn’t straight.

          • Sooner or later he’ll want the real thing.

            • Mrs.J

              Thank you.Straight men don’t like butt play.

              • SMH I agree. These butt freaks act like in order to have good sex both partners must be penetrated. They obviously are extremely limited in THEIR sex lives.

              • DLB

                This is very true. Straight men are not comfortable with any fooling around in their behind area. Just not.

            • KingJames

              That is EXACTLY my concern…..it just seems like a can of worms not worth opening as a woman! I don’t believe in “bi”, not to be offensive…..but I just don’t. If you like to be penetrated by (or penetrate) men, you are gay…..not that there is anything wrong with that….

          • M’kali-Hashiki

            Gay men love getting their cocks sucked. So I guess any man that asks his girlfriend for a blowjob must be secretly gay, huh? Also, gay men like kissing. So by your logic any man that wants to kiss his girlfriend must be secretly gay. Really people, it’s not like gay men are born with extra nerve endings. Everybody’s butt has the same nerve endings. Some folx have prostates & some folx have g-spots, and neither has anything to do with their sexual preference or orientation.

            • Mrs.J

              You know that makes no sense.Being penetrated is a whole other ball game.If you like to get penetrated then ok but I would never be with a man that liked that.

        • Trisha_B

          So a man who use to date only men, but decided he wants to date a woman can switch his s3xuality over night & become straight? The gay sèxual feelings will always be there

          • Homie91

            From my understanding, bisexuals fall in love with the person, rather it is male or female. A big misconception is that bisexuals used to be fully gay. I’m not an expert on gender studies, but this is what I was thought.

      • Pinky Willis

        Mrs. J- are you a straight man?

        • Mrs.J

          You know I am a woman.Anyways no straight man wants to be anally penetrated.

          • Purgatory Perhaps

            So you asked them all & they all told you the same thing, huh? Fascinating.

            • Mrs.J

              Yup.

          • Sarah Thomas Stage

            Ms. J is an idiot.

            • Mrs.J

              If you penetrate your man then keep it to yourself.

        • Secret87

          Lol yes thats a man. I questioned him too once.

    • Atjs

      You’re absolutely right. My husband and I experiment and I while I’ve not penetrated him I’ve thought about it. He loves our sex lifeand my willingness to explore his needs as he explores mine. I feel so bad for the “cover up, lights off, missionary” folks. You cannot know just how pleasurable sex truly is until you’ve fully embraced the practice.

      • Mrs.J

        Keep that to yourself please.

        • Atjs

          Why are you do uncomfortable with sexually? Raised in the church, I presume?

          • Mrs.J

            No I just think that a couples sex life should stay between them.

            • Atjs

              Fair enough. To me its just sex and sexual expression. I think a candid conversation is worth having amongst those who are neither afraid nor ashamed of it. I apologize if I’ve offended you.

              • Mrs.J

                I’m no prude so no apology needed.Just keep your sex life to yourself because if you tell your friends they might try to take your man girl.

                • lordblazer

                  you can simply just not read the comment section on how a dude’s wife screws him with a strapon then….

            • hf2hvit

              But you’re here!

            • Armon Anderson

              no, this is dumb. if you don’t like hearing about couple’s sex lives, why are u reading it now and commenting AND expecting everyone to agree with your close-mindedness

              • Mrs.J

                Because I can.

            • Sarah Thomas Stage

              You are an idiot.

              • Mrs.J

                Shouldn’t you be out buying new strap ons.

      • So if you’re not penetrating your man then your sex life is “cover up, lights off, missionary” ? Girl bye lol.

        • Atjs

          Didn’t say that at all. You clearly didn’t read. Why are you so defensive? Why even read an article such as this and then feel compelled to post your negativity and defensiveness? I wasnt even addressing you. The article is clearly not geared to a closed minded audience so why go through the trouble in the first place? It’s obviously to challenging a concept for you. Go post on a thread that reinforces your status quo.

          • So questioning you is defensive? You made a blanket statement and I wanted an explanation. You’re a super freak who tops her man lol ok do you but don’t come in here trying to force your fetishes on everyone. Bish you don’t even come here enough to tell someone who does where to go. Go clean your strap on and your man’s loose booty loser.

      • Masterpieced

        If the missionary-style folk are happy then why are you JUDGING them?

      • anonymouse

        You shouldn’t have time to ‘feel sorry’ for other people who aren’t into that kind of stuff if you’re having all of this great, freaky s3x with your husband.

    • pocahontas

      True love your comment….lets just keep it real

    • Diane

      Let’s be CLEAR, I NEVER said anything about penetrating a man. I CLEARLY commented on couples being more open to experimentation during s3x. Meaning MONOGAMOUS ppl in relationships. Just because this article is about a man sharing his likeness for penetration, doesn’t mean that’s what I’M talking about. There are OTHER acts couples can perform. People, get a GRIP! PLEASE, MISS ME WITH THAT STRAP-ON CRAP. I’M NOT THE ONE. NEVER HAVE BEEN OR WILL BE.

  • Dania Coleras

    what in the world..where are the real men at..not ones covering up they homo ways

    • IanMC

      I refuse to believe that in 2016 there are still gay man hiding their sexuality. I dont think this is the case whatsoever.

      • Dania Coleras

        yes there is trust me

        • Guestest1

          Very scary for us heteros3xual women

          • Annamuffin

            Yes, it’s terrifying… Ladies be careful…

          • Val

            If it is scary then str8 women ought to be promoting tolerance and acceptance so that men who are gay will feel comfortable coming out. But instead look at the comments on this thread. If a man who is gay but not out was to read the comments on this thread he would be more likely to feel he needed to stay in the closet rather than coming out.

            • Guestest1

              A grown butt man should be able to be who he is without being afraid of what anyone has to say. It’s not fair to play with women’s heart when you know that is not who you really want. Yes, blacks as a whole should be less homophobic and not shame but that’s no excuse for a grown man to deceive women. If you are that afraid of what people will say then be single until you are comfortable with coming out.

              • anonymouse

                Good post. I don’t understand why people want to blame others for the decisions that they make.

                • Guestest1

                  Thank you

        • justice4all04

          I believe you so very sad!!

      • Mrs.J

        There are and always will be.