I know, I know. Valentine’s Day is not that serious.
Like everyone writes on Facebook each year leading up to the big day of love (which was this past Sunday), you should find a way to show how much you care 365 days of the year. Not just because all the stores and card shops and chocolatiers tell you to on one particular day of the year.
But some people are in love with idea of being in love, or in like, on V-day. Especially in the early stages of a relationship. They want the guy they’re seeing to do something romantic and make their holiday together a memorable one. But what if you go out of your way to do something nice for the guy you’re seeing, who consistently struggles with being romantic (or being thoughtful in general), and he does nothing for you? And when I mean “nothing,” I mean he doesn’t even say “Happy Valentine’s Day” or make any plans for the day.
That’s what happened to one of my best friends. She’s been seeing a guy for a few months now. Even though he started off strong and somewhat romantic, he now acts as though he’s too busy with work or sleep to do a majority of things. Considering he’s in his mid-40s, I have a feeling he’s not going to change those habits anytime soon…
Still, my friend wanted to do something simple and sweet for him last Sunday. She bought him a nice jacket and a card. She knew that he was working that day and so he didn’t call most of the holiday, but he was scheduled to get off in the early evening. When she called him to see what his plans were, she ended up having to remind him that it was V-day midway through their conversation.
“Well, Happy Valentine’s Day!”
His response?
“Oh yeah! Thanks! You as well.”
He ended up telling her that she was welcome to come by so they could eat in, snuggle, and watch TV, but she was pissed considering that he made it seem as though he was going to think of something fun to do for the holiday the night before. When I talked to her this week, she was dead serious when she asked me “Is it petty that I want to return this jacket?”
I didn’t know what to say at the time, but I encouraged her to do what she felt like since she had not actually given him the sweater. As it turns out, after he barely acknowledged the holiday during their phone call, she opted to leave the gift in the store bag. She has since returned the jacket, and “reappropriated” the funds to get her nails done and obtain a nice new pair of shoes. Because when all else fails (a.k.a., trying to do something nice for a romantic interest), you can always turn things around and just do something nice for your true No. 1: yourself.
I couldn’t even hate on the move. Especially since it seems like this guy is just not ready to compromise and be open for the sake of my friend, who is about 13 years his junior and not ready to play hermit crab in the house. And considering they did have a conversation the night before Valentine’s Day about the holiday, the fact that he couldn’t even give a chick a flower, which she told me she would have liked (“A damn flower would have been nice!”), speaks to the reality that he apparently isn’t concerned enough to be bothered. So instead of wasting more money and time on him, I would encourage her, and other women in a similar situation, to “reappropriate” said money and time on themselves (or, another man in your “favorites” if you’re a player like that)…
But as always, that’s just my opinion. What do you think? Was it petty to return the gift? Or was he petty for totally sidestepping any and all plans for Valentine’s Day?
