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Dear Baby Moms,
What’s your problem?
You and I are a wrap, so much so that the marriage could be mummified in the pyramids of Giza. There is just one issue. We have this young child between the two of us, so we are going linked for quite some time. So now, it is all about the child, right? So, why does it feel that its all about you?
You.
You.
You.
And Me.
A wise man once told me something I already knew. He said, “Make sure you have your own relationship with your child so if something goes wrong between you and the mother, your relationship stands on its own.” You know this wise man and clearly he knew you well too, because it wasn’t long after, you started acting a fool. I think he saw something that my rose-colored glasses missed. See, you know and I know I am a helluva father and, based on how you tried to stop the divorce you initiated, a pretty good husband too. However, you seem eternally miserable and you want to bring the baby into the fray.
The child is not a weapon to be used against me. In fact, you throw grenades, then pick the child up, hiding from shrapnel. Coward.
I know my child. I should say, we know each other well. So, when I am asked, “Are you OK, Daddy?” it is becoming harder and harder to hide. Your harassing texts. Your attempts to argue in front of the kid. Your manipulative ways that you try to sway the baby to your side. In fact, you have tried hard to preemptively tell lies to anybody that will listen, including the police. As a Black man, I definitely have my issues with the police, but even they have told me straight up – they see through your bullsh… The litany of lies…when will it end?
One thing you did not lie about was when you said you would “destroy me through your child.” Well, you didn’t lie about your reckless willingness to attempt such a mighty feat. I have news for you, sweetie, it didn’t work then and it won’t work now. As a parent, I’m indestructible. I take bumps and bruises well because, I know the light will shine bright on all of your dark deeds in due time. Moreover, I’ll fight as a father to the death for my kid even if she also serves as an Achilles heel for you. You won’t provoke me into doing something damaging to you so that I can freefall into your silly traps.
The funny thing about trying to dig somebody else’s grave is you often can fall in yourself. My mother told me that one.
The divorce was your doing. No amount of begging could get you to halt that process years ago, and begged I did. In hindsight, I was miserable, but was cool with suffering in silence for the good public look in front of family and friends that saw us as a model family. Certainly, I didn’t want to be one of those relationships struck down by divorce. What a disgrace we were, I used to think. So, in some ways you did me a favor. I’ve found extreme happiness, you know, the kind people dream of.
It seems like you take umbrage with my present state and make it duty to disrupt my merriment.
My new girlfriend…is she the reason your attitude has taken a turn for the malicious recently? Or could it be that our child has taken a particular liking to her? Could it be you’ve realized you made a grave mistake? I don’t know and you would never admit such notions.
I don’t need answers.
I need for you to stop the following:
Stop creating friction in front of the child.
Move on with your life.
Get a man.
Or a dog.
Or a cat.
Or a frog.
Whatever you do -get something to pay attention to.
Get a hobby that doesn’t involve meddling in my life.
Better yet, get a job. Its ok to work.
Stop whispering in the child’s ear. She’s not your little spy machine.
Stop calling the police and wasting taxpayer dollars over nothingness.
The child knows when the police are to be called and its not this.
Get help.
Seek a therapist.
Stop trying to turn a child against her father.
Our nuptials are dead, but apparently you are trying to play zombie. It just won’t work. Put the child at center again and realize that all this drama only serves to harm the psyche of an impressionable, young human being that loves her mother and father. I’m not going to talk bad about you. You have repeatedly told me and others that I am a great father. So, why all of this? Why?
Don’t tell me. Tell yourself. And check yourself before you wreck your kid.
Truly Yours,
Great Dad
