I can remember how pretty I felt the first time my mother tweezed my eyebrows. It hurt like hell but the way it just brightened up my whole face, was completely worth it. And I got used to the pain. Once my eyes stopped watering and I stopped blinking compulsively, I loved the way mascara elongated my lashes and made my face look more feminine. And Lord…when I started using blush, just a few years ago really, you couldn’t tell me nothing.
Every morning when I applied it, I’d recite a line from Bebe’s Kids: “Make ‘em look like targets.” I know I wasn’t following anyone’s guidelines, tips or tricks but I thought I looked good. And even though my mother, sister and a few other people told me I was doing too much with the blush, it didn’t matter. I loved my rosy cheeks.
It wasn’t until my boyfriend, after leaving several nicer, more subtle hints, told me that I reminded him of Pikachu, that I realized it was time to lighten up.
I almost never wear foundation so I thought I was doing my “nuts and berries” type of dude a favor. But he wasn’t here for the blush either.
He swears that I look better without makeup. And while it’s nice to know that he appreciates my natural beauty, it’s also a little irritating to put effort into your appearance only to hear that it’s not as well-received.
Just to be clear, this is not a complaint. There’s a certain comfort in knowing I can roll out of bed, wash my face and he’ll think I’m ready to go on a date. I just find it a bit strange. Particularly when most of the women men see in media and even on the street, are wearing some type of makeup.
If you ask your man to identify his celebrity crush, chances are he hasn’t seen her without makeup. (It’s women who are googling what such and such a celebrity looks like without makeup, not men.)
The thing is, the more I looked around, I realized maybe he wasn’t the only one.
Today, likely trying to prove his point, my boyfriend sent me snippets of a conversation between him and his friends where they went to so far as to say that women looked worse when they wore makeup. One said he became more and more irritated as he watched his girlfriend apply enhancements before they went out.
They specifically mentioned the amount of makeup worn at weddings.
Yes, weddings. If they find themselves dating and marrying the average woman, they might be disappointed on their special days. I can’t think of a single woman who could or would go completely without makeup knowing all the pictures that will be taken that day and how she’ll have to look at them for the rest of her life.
I wish I could dismiss this type of thinking to my boyfriend and his like-minded friends but that’s just not the case.
Gospel artist Erica Campbell often talks about her husband Warryn, who is more of the “colorful-suit-wearing, producer/pastor extraordinaire” than the “nuts and berries” type, occasionally asking that she not wear any makeup when they go out. And she’s a public figure.
I asked my coworker/friends what their significant others think about makeup and they too have had moments where their men told them they preferred less eyeshadow, a not so bold lip or no foundation, especially if she was going to be laying all up on him.
In my life, it’s been my experience that most men don’t know the first thing about makeup. My sister had an ex boyfriend who told her he liked that she had that black line on her lower eyelid, completely oblivious to the fact that it was makeup.
If men really didn’t like makeup, it wouldn’t be featured in almost every ad campaign, movie, television show etc. I think what happens is, men probably don’t really notice makeup until it’s too much and then they have a problem with it blocking the natural beauty.
Who knows.
What I’ve told my boyfriend and anyone else who will listen (or pretend to listen) is that, most women are wearing makeup for themselves. We do what makes us feel pretty, not for the attention of other men, though that is a possible side effect. Truth be told, it’s not hard to get the attention of a man. Most of us can pull just a many dudes with a fresh face as we can when we’re beat for the gods.
But what Ive learned and what I keep learning is that living your life for the whims and inconsistencies of men is an exercise in futility. They all want something different and many of them will end up with the opposite of what they said they wanted. Hence the nuts and berries dude with the girl who loves her blush.
The solution? Compromise, if you must, for the ones you love but always live your life for you, otherwise you’re drive yourself crazy.
So ladies, tell me does your man say that he prefers you with little to know makeup? Do you find it endearing or a bit irritating?
