Being unfaithful in relationships is nothing new. People have been cheating on their significant others and spouses for thousands of years. Affairs are complicated and messy by themselves but when innocent kids are involved it really gets tricky.
When I started researching this topic I saw nothing but hate bashing and negative comments online towards the mistresses who were asking questions and especially the ones who’ve gotten pregnant by their lovers. And I totally get it, I’m married now and if my husband had an affair I would be beyond devastated. Affairs scream deception, manipulation, and the potential to cause lots of hurt and pain to all involved.
But then, I thought what about the innocent little baby?
That baby didn’t ask for the situation and deserves the best and if the mother has some info and support it will benefit the baby.
If you are pregnant by a married man here are some things to think about…
Mentally Prepare To Be A Single Mom
Ok, so this one is a no-brainer. Obviously you had an affair with a married man and there is a chance he may not want to be involved with you or the baby. If that is the case, and you decide you are ok with that, then start mentally preparing yourself while you are pregnant. Your actions don’t dictate who you are as a whole person so try not to beat yourself up with guilt and shame and figure out a way to move on. Buy motivational books, talk to a therapist, or your spiritual counselor and try to find an outlet to start mentally moving forward. You owe it to the baby to not be too stressed while you are pregnant.
Know Your Rights
Some women in this situation ask themselves a ton of questions like: “Does he have to pay child support?” or “Can he take the child or have visitation rights?” It’s so important to know your legal rights regardless of what decision you have made. You could say you want nothing to do with him and then when the baby is two-years-old change your mind, so it’s better to have legal knowledge and stuff in place earlier on. Once the baby is born, the mother or father can file a paternity suit to prove who the father is. If he is definitely the father he will be obligated to pay child support and as a part of that he will have parental rights (if he wants) like visitation. The best thing to do right away is contact an experienced family law attorney to schedule a consultation. If you can’t afford one then try to chat with one online from a reputable site.
Join A Support Group
You aren’t the only woman on the planet to get pregnant by a married man. You can look online to find a support group of women that are in your same boat. It’s better to get their advice and support because they are going through the same thing and may be able to offer you a different perspective or outlook other than your own. This is a great way to build new friendships with women that will be less judgmental.
