Why Black Women are ‘Obsessed’ with White Men

June 23, 2011  |  

Smart black women have come to grips with reality.

An elementary understanding of the law of supply and demand tells you there simply aren’t enough black men for every woman, good or bad.  And, the handful of “good” brothers don’t exclusively date black. Despite the number of us clinging to this one-sided fight for black love, others see the light and have started dating white…red, brown, yellow, etc. Tired of watching their girlfriends blindly walk past Banker Bob (yes, middle class white men are the segment of their population marrying black women) to compete with countless other educated, attractive women for the attention of some haughty, Audi A5-driving, Howard-bred corporate law attorney who only likes light-skinned girls, rain-beau daters are spreading the word.

The focus merely appears to be placed on white men for two reasons: It’s most taboo and white men and black women statistically date outside of their races least. So, it stands out when they date out—especially each other. Of course a history of slavery, rape and abuse are reasons for a subconscious sour taste but, in 2011, the landscape is much different. Much like black men looked past the lynching, disfigurement and deaths of young boys like Emmett Till for flirting with white women, many black women have found the capacity to look beyond past (and some present) ignorance. There is nothing taboo about dating anyone of any race. All that matters is that he is a man of strong character who you can see yourself boning.

For black men who want to have their cake and eat it too, this form of shared enlightenment translates as obsession when it’s really quite the opposite considering an overwhelming majority of black women prefer black men. Equal-opportunity dating means women are no longer reliant on the affection of a relatively small pool of men and, with increased options, higher standards are easier to maintain.

In no way are black women the slightest bit obsessed with white men. Some are just focused on enjoying the goodness that can be found in all races.

LaShaun Williams is a lifestyle and relationship columnist, blogger and social critic. Her work has been featured on popular urban sites, such as The Grio and AOL Black Voices. She has made appearances on the Tom Joyner Morning Show and Santita Jackson Show. Williams is also the voice behind Politically Unapologetic, a blog where she unabashedly discusses culture, life and love. Follow @itsmelashaun on Twitter, Tumblr or Facebook.

Trending on MadameNoire

View Comments
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • Transbutter


  • Transbutter

    As an intelligent adult it would make sense for me to say I respect everyone’s views on this blog. However I am intelligent but I can not respect everyone’s views on this blog. I don’t believe this article had any ill intent whatsoever. However, I don’t completely agree with this article. The rules in this article are for people who already have preconceived views of the stereotypical black woman that the media has created. Those rules apply to them and only them. Any intelligent human being knows when dating a prospect its important to treat them with respect and not judge them because of their racial background…….as cliche as that may sound. Now having said that and here’s my judgement for some of the commentators, I find it interesting enough that some people apply their own personal experiences with black women and black men to the experience of most. Your experience is your own experience do NOT make it more than this.

    P.S Stop quoting statistics as if its fact because a good chunk of statistics is made up.

  • guest

    Well said!

  • guest

    Very true!!!

  • Estafador

    then what does the black “good” brother do when he doesn’t WANT a white women, wants a beautiful black women but they pass him over for the white guy? Should I just adopt a cat and die alone or what? Because I really don’t want to marry a white women, and east asians don’t appeal all that much to me either.

  • Julien

    Hey really… whats up with the American hyphenated names. I’m a vet, my pals and i from all back grounds distinguished our selves as Americans – Period! This country spends way too much time fragmenting its people by race. Personally, I think there’s a lot to be gained financially by keeping up ill race relations. In case no one has noticed, most other developed countries steer away from this nonsense.

    Now, with regard to interracial dating and marriages. Get over it. If their is a connection most guys I know are all in. To use a term from the author, us “White” guys are first attracted to the sheer beauty of a woman, “African-American” or otherwise. Its the truth, we’re guys. The second thing moves very quickly to the personality and her ability to engage in a mutually gratifying conversation that leads to a relationship. Its so simple, don’t try to over think it.

    Another simple fact, opposites do tend to be attracted to each other. If you see a blonde haired guy such as myself who appears to be checking you out, guess what… he is, so go for it!

  • Aaron Barr

    Why would you lead with a headline that you contradict in the article? If you really need that to garner attention, perhaps you should learn to write.

  • jack hayes

    there is also a category of why gay white men prefer gay black men and vice versa

  • Jayla

    I’ve dated only black men so far but now am open to dating outside of my race. I like latino men, asian (malaysian type) and some white men.

  • meme

    Well i know a Nigerian women that is a news reporter and educated and who must be so desperate for a green card ,she plans to marry and have babies with a white guy with HIV on disability,with no job ,no car and lives with his mother…….and he’s a felon too…..I think shes insane……they think they are madly in love????……..She’s insane.

  • Kimmie

    I believe that men of all backgrounds can be attractive, but the truth is that not only are brothers not marrying African American women even when they produce children together they are not as interested in settling down these days. It seems like they want to “sow their oats”, which for me means go out and screw everything moving before settling down and who wants a man that’s been everywhere for a husband?

  • Ron

    I am white man that is very attracted to black women (especially smart black women, and there are many of them). I love looking at them and despite many white men who don’t get me, I really think black women are incredibly beautiful.

  • archangelariel

    When will we all as God’s children learn that perception is not reality when one believes in God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit when it comes into relationships. When we all believe in the Holy three then race, color, creed and all of those elements that Satan forcefully uses to bring us apart then he fails and God’s work succeeds. “we preceive white men are smarter..we perceive the black men have bigger junk in the trunks” all of this is not God’s way it is little people’s way. At the end of the day I am a Christian white man that has dated a few black women in my time, and what everyone here should know that we are all HIS children and he loves us equally. There is no such thing as race, color, creed, etc when it comes to Yahweh and Yeshua. When you heart is about peace and gererous concord with each other then color, creed, and race nevers matters in my mind and heart..how about yours?

  • gadawgfan

    I am a white man who has a ebony queen for a wife of seven years. I can honestly say that it is sad that people make such general stereotypes about race. I am really glad to see more interracial couples but I am not going to say that all bm are bad men. Not all wm are saviors. I see where people are saying that all white men have money lmao. I have also experienced that black people who did not know my wife or me would make comments like she is only with him for money. I promise you that not all white men have money. We were homeless at one point because both of our families turned their backs on us(because of the race issue) and I had lost my job but no matter what she stood beside me. The point is that true love does not see color or money. I would not care what color she is the fact that she had my back when the whole world had turned was what makes all worth it. I just hope that instead of being so quick to judge maybe we could all find more reasons to help and uplift one another.

  • SomeGuyNamedMark

    I’m white and I love black woman (and white, brown…)

  • SF

    I hate all these racist comments. We MEN in general, all of us black white etc, need to drop these notions of sexual conquest. When we do this its a step in the right direction and dating in a world that is post-segregation and institutionalized racism will be much easier.

  • sasha

    Funny I don”t know ONE black woman who Prefers a little PINK stick…so the title of this article is very misleading….and its obvious the main reason any black woman would consider downgrading is because the White man is offering financial security …something your very rarely see is a black woman married to a poor white man…so the reality is to date a whiteman may mean a financial come up but it most def is a sexual downgrade

    • Aaron Barr

      As long as we’re being racist @$$holes, why would a white man consider downgrading his standards of beauty and social status? Oh, and it’s amusing to see a black woman stereotype not only all black women who date white men but also all black men as financially illiterate bums.

    • GM8

      Sasha, that is a funny joke. But honestly, many of us “White men” don’t have a LITTLE stick…. Far from it. You’ve been listening to a few too many stories.

  • D

    White men accept women as an equal. Many women find this confidence , a turn on.

  • Andrea

    I have to say, I am pleasantly surprised to read such a logical and non-biased article on Black women dating non-Black men on MadameNoire. No offense, but I was told by quite a few people that your site was anti-IRR for Black women. I’m glad I can show them your post and prove them wrong.

    I am married to a WM, very recently in fact, and I could not be happier. Though, I have to argue with one point that you made in your article. Not all BW date and marrry non-Black men because there is a wide (2 million) population gap between BM and BW. Some of us are simply physically and emotionally attracted to WM/HM/AM and always have been, since childhood.

    The first boy I ever had a debilitating crush on was named Jason — same name as my husband. It was junior high and he was one of the few boys taller than me. He had dark brown hair, bright blue eyes, and was gorgeous. The actor Tom Welling (Smallville) reminds me of him. Anyway, I could barely form a complete sentence when this boy was around. LOL. But what I liked most about Jason, was that he was always very sweet to me.

    I dated and married my husband Jason, more than a decade later, because he is a kind, loving and lovable, supportive, family oriented and hard working man, who shares my values and life goals, and treats me like a valued partner in our life together.

    There being a low percentage of BM who are both marriageable and prefer BW, who don’t look White or ambiguous, was never an issue for me.

  • Lee

    Umm… wow Lashaun Williams you seem prejudice can I fill you in on some s**t real quick… I’m White and JEWISH and guess what my religion went thru the same s**t but we aren’t even different with our bodies and we got dogged out too! And that to me is worse cause everyone thinks about slavery and they think about what happened during Pre civil war day with race and no that’s not it entirely it’s your religion if your gonna nonchaulantly dog out me the “white man ” please understand African Americans sold you guys unfortunately and we as Jewish people had pretty much it happen the same way but we are white and they were white so please don’t put all whites in the same category alright? Thanks

  • la diosa de chocolate

    Am I the only one wondering why the world is so obsessed with studying black people? Why is it that are actions are constantly under scrutiny. I guess it’s a love-hate feeling that they have for us.

    Btw, I’m married to a latino man , not because of status, self-hatred
    or lack of available good black men, but because of LOVE. As long as a person is “swirling” because of true love instead of self-hatred, it’s a beautiful thing. It doesn’t need to be investigated. Just leave us be!

    Also, I hate to say it, but I do find that a good number of people who are in IRR tend to disrespect and trash their own while placing the race of their mate on a pedalstool. That is the ultimate no no. Yea, I married a latino, but best believe I still love, respect and support our black men and will defend them til the end. I’d NEVER put my people down the way I see these ignorant, confused, self haters do on the daily. Love your mate, but never forget to love and uplift your people.

  • the devil’s in you little girl

  • Me hello

    Black women who haven’t searched around good enough for the right black brothers is why you see crazy s**t like nice beautiful black women with ugly white men further more there are good black fathers out there they just aren’t recognized for it the world is very ignorant it was sabotaged by the most ignorant people there is today who are regarded as superior but are not they’re knowledge has been took’en from everyone but the’rye self’s.

  • Tariq

    Yeah, let’s Ignore the elephant in the room, and talk in circles. White guys are not generally attracted to black women for the same reason most men aren’t . Black women are on average less attractive than others. Not because you’re black, but because your features don’t lend you sexual attractiveness to guys, this applies to your average black woman. Some black women are attractive on a world scale but very few. I’m not sure where this white men wanting black women poppycock comes from.

  • Adam Bogaevskaia

    I am a white man  and I am happily married to beautiful  woman she is Japanese, African American and Italian.  People often ask me what is your wife’s Race?  When I say she has an African American mother,  I am often told “Wow she does not look black” I just laugh, some are focusing too much on the color of skin here – generally people meet and just fall in love.  I have been married now for 9 years and we are expecting our first baby. I adore my wife and I was not attracted to her olive skin tone or her beautiful Green eyes,  I was attracted to her beautiful smile and when I soon discovered she had the inner beauty to match, I fell in love hard,  I had to ask for her hand in marriage.  I for one wish there were more interracial marriages Extremely excited to be a father for the first time we are in out 8 month. Marry who makes you happy Color of skin is unimportant 

    • Adam Bogaevskaia

      Sorry I made an Error What I was trying to say was that I was not just attracted to her outer beauty but soon discovered she had inner beauty as well 

  • EN

    I don’t appreciate my relationship with my Japanese husband of 13 years being called “swirling”, nor do I appreciate my children being identified as the product of “swirling.”  There is nothing new about interracial relationships, nothing new about international relationships; the concept is as timeless as intra-racial relationships.  People in this country need to get a grip and realize that the only ones that hold us back from having meaningful, fulfilling love and satisfaction ARE US.  I don’t care what color, if a man loves me for me, I choose that over this insane sense of “loyalty” we seem to try to hold one another to (=haters).   GROW UP AMERICA!!

    • GM8

      You are awesome EN! I have said for years that the world will be so much better off when we’re all so inter-mingled that there are no more definable races, no definite skin colors, no clear distinctions or certain biases among people. It will be nice when we are no longer judged by the color of our skin but by the content of our character. Wait, didn’t someone famous say that? 🙂

  • Who in the hell determined that Black women are Obsessed with White men?  WTF? WTH are you?  Obviously you know nothing about Black women – you are immature, imposing, stupid and very out of touch with the world of Black women.  We have never been obsessed with White men – whatever happened to people loving who they love without reference to some damned obsession – if anything White men have always been obsessed with Black women.  Go to hell and I’m old enough to tell you that.



  • OBSESSED?????? REALLY?? I think not. Never will I be obsessed with any man!~

  • Charisse hill

    The only Im obsessed with is Jesus Christ. That is all.

  • Olivia

    the ONLY black women I know who are obsessed with white guys are Africans; they totally worship them them. It don’t matter if they’re slackers, losers, ugly, or not too bright! They will take a bullet for them. And they LOOOVE to birth their mixed race offspring! 

  • rchilds

    So, with this article, it’s clear that we are going to be subject to yet another generation of “black-men-did-it-first-and-black-women-are-just-beginning-to-experiment-with-interracial-dating-as-a-result” rhetoric.  Too bad it’s untrue.  Black women have dated interracially for eons, dating back to ancient times, it’s just that women’s media today chooses to paint black men as it’s crutch for doing so.  What a shame that modern journalism still doesn’t include scholarship, research or a commitment to truth.

  • The way we carry ourselves determine the kind of person we attract. I have been fortunate to meet many good black men who are educated, respectful, ambitious, etc. Personally I can say I am not obsessed with white men nor have I ever considered dating one and that is because there have always been a good black man near me that I am more attracted to. I dress appropriately and carry myself like a young woman should and that alone prevents thugs from approaching me. 

  • laquisha

    they are obsessed with white men because white men are smarter, make more money, better looking, treat them better, have bigger and CLEANER cocks and dont give them herpes!

    • your opinion 

      • Blkknight


        *That’s like stating that all bw are nasty,loud,crude,ghetto hoodrats who only want to date thugs and have baby after baby by multiple men!….how insulting!

        **You sound just like my wife…her last boyfriend before I met her…is now the Vice President of a Bank(Married with children to an educated black woman)…the same black owned bank that his dad was the President of while he was growing up…she has never even thought of dating out..because black men have treated her like a Queen!

    • Moorspeaks

      Really?…okay…but now let me ask you…do you honestly believe that?…because in reality…anyone that is honestly educated and who has been around white males for any length of time knows otherwise…all  that you’re doing is accepting and promoting generalizations….overly negative ones about bm and overly positive ones about white guys..who’s faults you are clearly overlooking!

      And yes they have their own issues….no they aren’t perfect…no race of men are!

      You forgot…to state that white men are all the perfect husbands and fathers!

      *And never mind that white women actually divorce white men in very large numbers every single day here in America…now ask yourself…if white guys are really all that…are so perfect and all have it together…when why  would any woman just wake up one day and dicide that…”Yes I know what I want..I’m going to divorce the perfect husband,father to my children and lover”…to become a single mother….uhhhh no one…that’s who!

      Do you even know any white women in the real world?…because both my wife(of 19 years…known her for 22 years and we are very happily married!) and I do…from both the work place and our largely white affluent community)and let me tell you….many of them are single,frustrated and some even bitter women-moms!…who have a much less positive view of white men in general!

      **One of my wife’s office mates…just went throught a divorce(he couldn’t keep it in his pants and never spent time with their son…who she underwent special fertility treatments just to have!) she has been crying in her office for the last two and a half months!

    • The Moor

      *And by the way..no all white males do not have more money than everyone else…nor are they smarter…says who…again…this is a generalization…based on stereotypes…*I attended all male prep school on the East coast with wealthy white males and others and let me tell you….yes standardized test are culturally biased and but at the same time I often outscored my white male counterparts….now my sons are doing the very same thing…they are excelling beyond some of their white male counterparts!

      *Ps: most bw don’t refer to men’s penises as “Cocks” and again…black women also have the highest number of cases of HIV/AIDS (which of course doesn’t not mean that all black women are positive)..you do know this right?

    • Charisse hill

      WHAT? Im a black female and I understand your frustration however, Your statements are very harsh. I believe a lot of black men need to get it together and stop allowing of environmental issues to cloud their better judgement. But, this is tooooo harsh.

    • Charissehill

      I believe this person (Laquisha) is not black. I had to think about the manner inwhich this person was writing and this sounds like an imposter. If a black women wrote this then shame on her.

    • la diosa de chocolate

      You’re a f*****g idiot. I can’t believe some ignorant sh*t popped out like that. This must be a drunken brainfart. Take your self hating a** somewhere to kick rocks and blow bubbles. Smdh

    • Andrea

      Being White and male does not make one smart, good looking, disease free nor wealthy. There are dumb, ugly, poor people with STDs in every ethnic group. Trust me. I have a WW friend who was recently notified that her ex-boyfriend (WM) gave her gonorrhea. That is why I warn my female friends and relations to take things slow, and get to know a man before becoming intimate with him. You never know.

  • Margaret

    Are you still single??  Here
    to find Soul Mate,meet cool interracial friends and someone single

    ↑ ↑ ↑ ↑ ↑      ↑ ↑ ↑ ↑ ↑    Where To Seek The  Serious Relationship?

    Where  To Enjoy  The  Wealthy And Romantic

    Where  Has The Best  Service  Fame?Interracial single LIKE Black,
    White girls and men ?

    It’s  Here! –


  • Kat~ra

    Some of these comments have really made me laugh…..i mean literally LOL…..I dated a white man for 2 years, notice i said DATED, the grass is not always greener on the other side, he messed up and he knows it…..At my job, there is a rainbow of men who are attracted to me, Russian, Czech, Asian, Latino, Italian…the whole spectrum, im not sure of what it is, maybe its because of how i carry myself, dress, say SHRIMP instead of SKRIMP….i dont know but they constantly gawk…its funny to me, its somethin ive been dealing with since i first came to Ill when i was 16, im now 39…..Im used to all of them….BUT I have a black KING who loves me like ive never experienced before, we connect spiritually, mentally and physically and there is NOTHING & NO ONE more important to me than my KING……As far as IR dating, it is what it is….date who u want, long as u r happy thats all that matters……btw, girlfriend really sucked some of u right on in with the “obsessed” word…lol lol im sure she got the very reaction she was looking for…..lol lol lol BE BLESSED ALL OF U

    • Blkknight

      Exactly!…again…my wife has never even been into dating out…she’s a beautiful chocolate lady,highly educated,raised to carry herself that way and these men just swoon over her…but she loves black men….and has no problem with stating such….nor does she have a problem with others who want to date out….*but again…she knows that men are men and knows all kinds of good men and tired,backwards and sorry a** men who are both black,white and other!….has nothing to do with race!

      **And one of my best friends is now dating a bw…who has been with three different white guys…she’s pretty,educated and very sweet and they all used and abused her….the first one is the father of her twins who are now thirteen…she gave this guy several chances and he just fcked up over and over…now she’s dating my friend…a successful college educated black man!

  • mjackson sr.

    that’s bulls**t, but some sistas are very confuse just like n****s like O J , name a few of those sad folks.

  • Msichalenab1219

    Where are they I want one can’t find any in Illinois

  • Cemab4y

    Once you go black, you never go back. I have dated black women (I am caucasian), and I find them excellent. They love to be with a man who will really LISTEN, and who will put their needs above their own. Dark men normally do not like oral sex. But a black woman, loves to have a man go down on her. And I like black women of all shades, light-skinned dark-skinned, does not matter.


    • Blkknight

      LOL!…Uhh again…you’re just making generalizations…about a whole group of men…who you don’t even know…based on what…something that you have read,heard or your ex told you….trust me…there’s more than one side to the story….and yes even in regards to oral sex….why not just be happy with the bw that you’re with or hope to be with…why do you have to push generalizations about what black men are,who they want or what they do….

      Any intelligent,well informed person knows that your statements are biased and onesided….and are merely an attempt to take cheap shots at black men and to make yourself feel as if you and other white males are every black woman’s savior….but in reality you’re not…not by far!

      **Some black men also complain that black women do not perform oral sex on them(I myself have never had any such complaint)…so how then are black women even in a place to complain about black men not doing  the very thing that they themselves refuse to do…this makes no sense!

      How about this…black men and black women…are all individuals…with our own personal mindset and perspectives…likes and dislikes…just like everyone else!

      like white males who only want to date big tit blondes with blue eyes!

  • PACMANVCHighlands

    I am a white man 49 years old currently married to a white woman.  In the late 80’s I had an African American girlfriend and I couldnt believe the looks that people would give us.  It would dart right through me.  Almost all of these were from white people of all ages and it really opened my eyes to the amount of racism that still existed (at that time) in America.  I was ashamed at my white fellow Americans.  I believe the situation is better now but we still have a long way to go to make America a non racial world.  I have hope though.

  • Tom R

    Well, I think it is safe to say that black men are not necessarily obsessed with white women either. Honestly, in today’s society…I am not sure any race is obsessed with the other. I agree with the author, people just want to get together with someone they are compatible with and enjoy the relationship.

  • mixedsingle_com


    -where you can
    meet cool people online..who are searching for their special someone. 

            .welcome  join our
    club.–r_i_c_h—m_a_n—a_n_d– b_e_a_u_t_i_f_u_l—g_i_r_l—S_i_n_g_l_e— m
    i x e d single. c ‘o ‘M
         Happy every Day Honey!.Are you still single??

  • Antonio

    I dont mind interracial dating its just  when a  SISTER (black american woman) thinks that shes better than the next girl just because she has a white man or any other man that isnt black thats what gets  me. A caucasian man will do you just the same as the next man would and vice versa. I say that to say this, America makes it seem like all black guys are bad and really thats not the case. We are all men and all men are the same so you cant just judge us black or white by color because at the end of the day we are all human. Even though we might have a little bit of a different lifestyle and upbringing despite our differences we are all the same.

  • The truth is: Far too Black women have been almost completely sucked in by the relentless propaganda put out by the matrix they are plugged into — the ‘good black men don’t exist’ propaganda.  What I find most odd (not really, the word I should use is ‘predictable’) about the clique of ‘Oooh, the wonderful white man’ black women: they spend an amazing amount of time talking about black men…  You know what THAT means.

  • Amber


    • Amber


  • Amber


  • Terrainx

    enlightenment- when we all improve our mentality by escaping all negative aspect about race.. rather embracing the differences we all share, through all avenues even love, should be natural not conflicting. We are a world of white black and other tones put here for each other. Sadly we have these thoughts, these barriers, as to race vs love. sadly the growing number that share my perspective is gradually growing a little bit too slow.

  • Pingback: How to cure my hatred for black girls/young women? - Get Rid Of Acne Fast & Treatment For Acne - Acne Fast Remove()

  • Adorn

    i would LOVE to read articles about white men and their point of view about dating black women as much as I do about black woman wanting or considering white men. Like someone mentioned before, blogs written by black women seem to have numerous articles encouraging black women to play in the snow. but i have yet to see (or read) any about white men yearing for some brown sugar now-a-days. i dont understand all the hype about these men, when no one has yet posted some articles in the white men poin of view. cause if they don’t want us…then hell…k to black, lol.

  • Acbvegas

    Whats so funny is they mispelled bonding and it says ” boning” lol

  • Mbwotu

    As a white man, I did not find the article offensive at all, merely realistic. In general, black woman – white man pairs are only second to black woman – asian man ones in rarity. While this probably includes countless other factors besides subconsciously working genetic traits affecting pair forming preferences, an important one not to be dismissed is biological in nature. It is notable that in western countries caucasian men prefer asian women after women of their own ethnic background while respectively white women are going for men of African or African-Caribbean ethnicity. Speaking in interracial relationship terms black women and asian men seem to fall in the hapless category of “the least attractive”. Some studies suggest that this frequently occurring pattern in cross-culture mating could be partly to do with the relative quantitative differences in testosterone levels between racial phenotype medians. On average, both black men and women are more masculine than people of other races. Thus, while black men generally appear more attractive to females of any race more probably than white, asian or hispanic males, black women appear the least attractive to any men because of their more male like facial features and behaviour (there are of course exceptions to this, for example the somalis, a people genetically aberrant in the black race category). This could also explain why many African cultures still cling to agressive traits such as demeaning social practises and attitudes toward women, civil wars and wars against better judgement, excessive reproduction  (an evolutionary survival mechanism), racism (long history of tribal wars throughout the continent) and stagnant overall moral values. Eastern Asian’s technological feats and economic prowess (unfortunately in some cases undermined by submissive character traits in some Asian people, such as the North Koreans, leading to tyrannic society structures) can also be partly explained by the lack of agressive intrinsic values in mental approaches, allowing for long-time planning pivotal in building sustainable advanced civilizations.But none of us should let our offendedness stand in the way of recognising our differences for only by accepting them can we increase understanding and ultimately embrace. What we differ in as peoples, we share as human kind.

  • Craig-gantt

    There are black women who will exclusively date white men, it has nothing to do with the availability of black men and everything to do with personal preference. I think we should be addressing the issues of self hatred that contribute to this rather than stick our heads in the sand pretending the issues don’t exist. Also black women vs black men is not a good look, these types of blame game rivalries have to be detrimental to the future of the black community. Black men are not the reason why SOME black women hate black men and vice-versa. All of that being said, there’s nothing wrong with inter-racial dating. If I see a black woman with a white guy and she’s happy why should I care?

  • Kohlmanjohn

    I think most of the replies are really making too much of a race issue of this, love is found where it may, as a white man and married to a black woman I never think about what her skin color is but who she is as a person, black women are beautiful as are all women.

  • Jellyfish

    When God call time;there is no color.Let’s worry about will we live or die.GOD isn’t coming for a specific color.My advise to myself and others,lets pray we have treated all mankind the best we know how.

  • Doss

    I wish black woman would be obsessed with white guys so we have a fighting chance….

  • Gogo


    Black women and white men have a long and ugly history.  That very negatively affects their bias. Kind of like how Middle Eastern, Muslim Women, Sikh Women and other non-white women absolutely do not like white men. The white man has a long ugly imperialist history that stains him (rightfully or wrongfully) and hurts him with other peope up to today!

    • david

      hurts him with other people since when???

  • Rbutcherbmw

    I am a white male, 43 and in good shape. I am confident in myself and have approached women of different races/nationalities successfully as well as white women. That being said, here’s my take. White males have
    been emasculated in the last 20 years as women and blacks push forward with their “struggle” for “equality”, 
    but it seems that equality isn’t enough. White men are portrayed on tv as bumbling idiots, while black athletes 
    are given God like status and women always seem to have the upper hand on intelligence. 
    I believe though that this will result in a “thinning of the herd”, as opportunities for inferior white males to
    procreate dwindle. However, us white guys that are strong, smart and adaptable, will have no problem finding
    willing females of any race. Women are biologically programmed (just like the animal world) to seek out the
    fittest of their species. See you at the finish line!

    • david

      Bastard you truly are one narcissistic dyslexic SoB

  • boy chocolate man, you sure sold yourself there. Why would any woman in her right mind run screaming from someone like you? You’re such a great guy. Just look at you.

  • white people aren’t all racists. If you knew some you’d know that.

  • the difference between black people and white people is public relations and you’re all buying into an illusion. I have two biracial children, I get a long wonderfully with their dad but I couldn’t be with him, that’s for sure. White people are no less dysfunctional than blacks, they simply have the good sense to keep their dirty laundry private. They realize how they’re viewed from the outside affects their level of survivability so they protect their public image. Black people think everyone is suppose to care about their emotions, to the extent that we need the whole word to know everything that’s wrong with us. I’ve dated white men for over 20 years and I have NEVER bad mouthed a black man to any of them and if there are black women here doing that SHAME ON YOU. Keep your negative opinions about people with whom you share a heritage to your damn self.

  • Cindy

    White men got it going on, black men, pffff, well what can be said that has not already been said. Black men are losers.

    • white men got it going on? I’ve dated several. Some were cool, some were morons. Just like the black ones. 

    • la diosa de chocolate

      White men have it going on? Pffft please! They are not attractive at all. And their ways are certainly NOT the cream of the crop. Btw, MANY white men are losers. There are losers in ALL races, duh!

  • james

    Being a white male I would love to date more black women.
    They have been the only women to treat me well and not be "Difficult".
    But it would be helpful of they could be better at returning emails and phone calls.


  • Oh Really

    Agreed, it is not like black women have not dated a black man before only to learn they only wanted them for sex. Because if it is a white man doing the same thing it just means the black woman was used. I gues black men don't use us either

  • chris parker

    It’s funny how the (Author) of this crap brings up black men dating white women as a scape goat for her love of the white man. She also brings up there is not an ample supply of black men to go around. The same old tired story from the same kind of false advertising BLACK WOMAN. The reason why you are with white men is because you think they are SUPERIOR to BLACK MEN, BOTTOM LINE so stop BLUFFING.

    • temple t00

      yes, they’re definitely superior, on average.  

  • Erin

    That title is why I always hesitate a little before clicking a link to this blog.

  • I must say I have dated Caucasian men for all of my adult life. My whole family is mulit-racial and there is pros and cons to everything in life. I can say that I have watched my Caucasian gf date black men and few have found "good ones" I am not saying all Black Men are not worthy, but in my experiences the cultural differences of the way Caucasian Men treat Black Women vs the way most Black Men treat black women is vast.
    Face it, who is to say where ones happiness lies, even if he is purple with pink eyes. No one knows what color blood runs in their veins and we all wipe our a%% with the same hand we feed our face with. Whom ever I choose to love is mine and mine alone. For all the self righteous folks on the ranting band wagon, catch a grip and free your mind and rest your soul. Put your efforts into something that really does mater, like the starving children right here in this country. The amount of women who are cracked out giving birth to crack babies. Help to clean up your own "Hood" before you trash someone for whom they choose to love. Make an effort to produce"Better Young Black Men" So Black women have more of a choice. I for one don't date black men honestly my experiences I just do not trust them nor am attracted to them, well besides Shamar Moore, Yowza!

    Invest in young black men, most have no positive role models to become educated, cultured, and emotional independent because their fathers have 12 different kids by 12 different mothers, are in prison for drug related crimes, murder, rape etc and especially grow up seeing their mothers beaten by them. The cycle needs to be broken for young black men to stop the madness and for young black women to not accept the madness!

  • Amanda

    My bf is white and I've only been with white men. I'm not "obsessed," it's just what I grew up around, was raised by, and am attracted to.

  • Brooklyner

    I can't. The comments on these articles are ridonkuclous! Just read the darn things and have an opinion.

  • grey eyed girl

    agreed…as a black woman that prefers white men without the "obsession" preferring and loving white men is one thing…obsessing over them is another. black women and white men are coming together more and more and people need to simply get over it.

  • Krazidawg

    The article was somewhat enlightning but I can remember when i was in high school, their was this black girl I liked so much. She wouldn’t date me because I wasn’t white. That hurt me bad because I truly adored this girl, she was beautiful, nice teeth, real hair, a nice brown complexion and simply wouldn’t go out with me because like her I was black. I got over it but I was annoyed because she went out with these scruffy, unkempt white guys that looked like fried crap and hear I was with a nice fade, hazel eyes, and a nice body from playing baseball. I guess I just wasn’t her type. Its ok to date out your race but when you exclude your own people for whatever reason you have mental issues in my opionion

  • Lexi

    There is nothing wrong with dating white men. ive always dated white men. and no i didnt grow up in an area that was mostly white. i have never been with a black man in any way. i just dont find black men attractive enough to be in a relationship with. i do have black male friend but they are just friends. just because we have the same skin color doesnt mean those are the only people we should date. good men come in more than just black. maybe if people thought that way interrical dating for anyone wouldnt be taboo.

    • chocolateman

      i bet you is white boy who want f'ck black pu$$y!

  • Eddie

    American black women like you are poison. You must be dating a white man. All his prejudices about black people have rubbed off on you.. Just listen to yourself: African men, not some but all by implication, are infected … White men (your gold standard) wouldn't touch her … Africa has the highest HIV/AIDS rate of any COUNTRY.

    You are truly a prejudiced, self-hating itch in the backside. FYI, Africa is a CONTINENT as large as the US, Canada, Mexico, Brazil and Argentina combined.

  • Get in where you can fit in. Case closed.

    the Super Sistah http://www.thesupersistah.com

  • Eddie

    In a weird way I respect your honesty, and even if you are where you don't belong, you have a right to your opinion. Since this is the case why do you and others here believe KeeKee isn't entitled to feel the way she does? Do you believe she has no right to feel it's reprehensible to mix her fluids with the ever sweet-smelling master race? Well I have some shocking news, many black people are repulsed by your stink, especially when you sweat. In this department we are even Steven. Nature is what it is.

  • TrulyHappy

    Wow. You need help. Are you even a Christian? Telling people to die in hell just because they are making their own decisions and dating who they want to regardless of race? You need to go to church. And maybe attend some night classes…"Grammar 101" comes to mind.
    Who you date is YOUR BUSINESS people. Grow up. If you find someone who treats you with respect, loves and honors you…you really shouldn't care about their race. What you should be doing is thanking God that you found love in this often crazy thing we call life. LOVE knows no boundaries and that includes racial ones. LOVE can be found in so many places if you are looking for it.

    • chocolateman

      this so funny how you black women searching for an amusing excuses for sleeps/sucking white man's dick and feel herself good like she have white woman status! hahahahahah you dirty fake azz hypocritical black/mixed b'tches need really help and stop blame nikkaz or "good black man" (though I don't know what this such is) just because you want feel slave master's white dick inside of yourself! smh!

  • LaToya Johnson

    Chocolateman is just another brotha on crack……LOL. And people wonder why we black women are obsessed with white men…..LOL

  • LaToya Johnson

    I have dated all kinds of men from different races and as a black woman I have to say that white men are the sexiest men alive!!!!!!!

  • Denise spears

    I have dated outside of my race. And I have a multicultural child.But there is nothing like a brother!!!!!

  • Black women beware if you date outside of your race you will encounter ignorant comments like those below. Why does everyone have to suggest because someone dates outside of their race, that they are "obsessed" with another race? I get it all of time because I am engaged to a white female. It doesn't matter how much time I put into my community. Or that I organize mentoring for at risks black youths. People only see that I date a white female. I didn't go out searching for her, nor do I think that she is better than any black girl I can get. And even though I am naturally more attracted to women of color, she is just the person I feel in love with. I have dated mostly minority women (mainly black and Puerto Rican) and everyone is different. There are terrible people in every race. We are all different people and skin color is not/ should not be the deciding factor. I love my fiancee because she was there for me when I had nothing and supported me through a lot of crap. On a side note, who I dated was never a big deal when I was broke or when I was in the military. But right around the time I went to Harvard law/business school all of a sudden I was the sell out black dude. People it's 2011, find happiness for yourself and don't worry about what anybody else thinks. This goes for black women, black men and everybody else.

  • guest

    Black women see white men as the ultimate validation. If a white man shows interest in them then they must be special. 300 years of white men raping and sodomizing black women and girls and here we are today with countless black women fantasizing about their historical tormentor. Just the thought of giving birth to half white babies brings a smile to the face of many black women. What a disgrace.

    • Whitney Jackson

      Why are you blaming white people today as if they are actual slave owners. You can't blame white people today for the sins of their ancestors. Do you realize how ridiculous you sound? If you're going to do that then you're going to have to hold yourself accountable for all the sins your own ancestors have done. Sounds to me like you've been brainwashed by your parents and every other negative black person in your life. Why don't you just admit that you like blaming white people for your own failures. And what is up with you trying to control black women as if you own them….sounds to me like you're trying to be a slave owner yourself. I love white men and I'm dating one right now and I love him…..and he's great in bed!!!!!

  • chocolateman

    Interracial is wrong and a genocide!

  • zina

    god created people and people created racism.

    • chocolateman

      nahh devil created white man and white man created racism. white man + women = racism and genocide!

  • chrissy

    why do these articles me us black women seem so freakin desparate men are not hard to find black white latin…really stop wit the madness…black women this black woman that….you never go on other site and see white women this or that…cut it out……UGH…..

  • Shaking My Head

    I agree I was with it until that line…predatory females looking for something bone worthy. Yeah….that's the definition of a Black woman….sigh……we don't even know how well we have learned, digested and how we regurgitate the racist views of our very recent past.

  • wow.. you are stupid as hell..

  • B-Rock

    I agree

  • B-Rock

    Just a few years ago blacks could not even enter a white church. I guess that was just a "God" thing.

  • B-Rock

    Black woman posing as a white guy @ Ken ha ha ha Your not fooling anyone. There are no real white guys reading this trash.

  • venus

    The truth is SOME black women ARE obsessed with white men. Dating white men is the dominant topic on most black women's blogs. The only problem is that white men are not equally obsessed with black women. They are not constantly trying to convince other white men to cross over. It has become a cultish mindset in some black women. Very scary.

  • Nik

    Your entire rant is so dam disrespetful, it's NO WONDER… You must really hate yourself..

    • You seriously can't read either.. dam shame..
      And if most "brothas" are like you.. give me a GENTLEMAN of African rootst anyday.. over a "brotha".. take that how you want too..

      • chocolateman

        lol African brotha don't want your dirty spoled azz after nasty white slave master's d'ck so you can stay with your old ugly slave masters….f'ckin dirty self-hating sellout hoe!

  • The most annoying part of this entire article is that it's stupid.. Yes.. I said it.. It's stupid… this is a dead issue and instead of people wanting to address the actual issues they come up with titles and big words that make them sound like they speak for the entire population.. Seriously.. you used YOUTUBE as a reference.. WTF??

    How bout this.. How bout we address the fact that that a large number of black women will NOT date white men because they have NOTHING IN COMMON. Now that we have targeted (1) thing to talk about.. Let's discuss that further.. let's talk about how we are portrayed on television. How we have dam near (0) (proportionally) references and examples when it comes to women that have reached across culture to empower themselves and become people that OTHER people can actually relate to.. CONT…. (because it won't let me finish my darn comment.)

  • E.C. from D.C.

    commonsense have you seen Paul Walker or Chris Hemsworth (Thor) ….. mmmmthankujeesus.

  • E.C. from D.C.

    I love men regardless of race but somehow I feel like dating a white man before another minority is like jumping into the deep end too soon.

  • justsay_it

    I am seeing more and more blogs and more promotion of interracial couples(white man/black women). I know white men see this also. I have had some strange encounters with white men harassing me online(not in a good way), and get furious when I reject them. Maybe they noticed this influx of interested black women, and assume all black women are crazy about them. White men are no different, besides upbringing.

  • Myrna

    I agree with you KeeKee…..not interested….would rather be alone than with a white man.

  • Seriously….

    I wouldn't say black women were ever obsessed with white men. But I do know some BW that have been. I personally would date a man that was truly interested in me, no matter what his race is. I will not wait for a black man while he dates and admires other women just to keep from bruising his ego. I deserve to be happy and loved as well, I think that's how a lot of black women are seeing things now. Do you ladies, be happy.

  • commonsense

    i don't find white men attractive. i won't settle for something i am not attracted to. i will either find a black man, half black or Hispanic but he has to look black. any of those r perfectly find but i don't find white, middle eastern, native American or Asian men attractive @ all.

  • chocolateman

    pls my black ppl wake f'cking up! not all black women are dirty spoiled sellout self-hating white men's wh0res/h0es who want be white…..and not all black men are anti sh't or gays who want non black women, we need more black family and real chocolate/dark/brown skin black sons/kids in america in all the world! f'ck white devils and interracial bullsh't , dark skin and black love are the best!

    Interracial is wrong and a genocide.

  • Gomer

    NOT obsessed?! Ah well, golly shucks. . . They're still surely purdier than all the rest tho . . . 😉


    Quite the opposite. Many (if not most) cannot resist the urge to slam a Black man since they are ashamed of their own fathers. Truth hurts.



    I'll interpret for you: NOT INTERESTED why is that so amazing? All Black females don't want you


    The men most MARRYING Black women is Black men not white men. If a woman (Black or not) is not willing to buy my lunch as much as she is interested in romance is not worth my time No freebees here. I've got too much goin on to get bogged down with zeros. Have something to offer for cryin out loud.


    • Eddie

      That doesn't sound right. I agree black women must accept the fact that they earn as much and must occasionally pay, but they shouldn't be paying every time you go out with them. If this is what you expect when you take women out, you're not such a good catch.

  • Miranda

    wow, that's not nice I wouldnt like my photo out there like that

  • Mark

    Actually, most Asian women aren't obsessed with us at all. There is a small percentage of a very large population that put less emphasis on a guy's race than other qualities – in the case of my wife of 35 years, height and intelligence (and blue eyes?) Well, that's what she tells me. I married the smartest, bravest, funniest, cutest girl I knew who liked me. I wasn't going to let that one get away despite our language, cultural and ethnic differences. She liked me for me! (I was in Japan. It's not like I met any women who weren't Japanese.)

    Her friends had mixed opinions, and her family was pretty much opposed, but later came around a bit. Opinions that all or most Asian women are after white guys are overly simplistic and generally not true.

    Most Asian women marry within their race, and there are a lot of differences among different nations. There are also differences between American born Asians, and people from other countries. It's complex and a lot of it differs with the people involved. In the end, we're all individuals doing what we do for our own reasons.

  • Mike H.

    Beginning 2 rethink my advising my gf to check out this site. As a WMA dating a BFA I wonder why she & I can focus on individualisms role in "swirling relationships" when the majority of our respective races think like the ignorant commentators on here. Dirty looks and cowardly under-their-breath comments are written off as envy & I love the uncomfortable cringe of racists who can't turn away from our PDAs. Sour grapes anyone?

  • Afrika

    I Could not agree more"I truly believe that people enjoy interracial dating because of self hate. Yeah, I've dated numerous non black women. I admit I had my fun with them and enjoyed the experience. But at the end of the day I want a woman who looks like me. I desire a woman who shares my history" Your statement is correct but I have a few questions to ask you.

    Should a sister remain in a relationship hoping that a brother will we see light? What can she if any do to cause a change? Should she ignore her need to be loved correctly?

    I am not asking these questions to debate or argue but since it seems that you have come to recognize the issues and want to share your life with one like yourself. I thought maybe as a man you might know how to get through a brother. Personally that these changes must occur on a individual basis. Your right self hate is the underline cause.

    But, I am torn as a single black female to care anymore about the brothers that don't value family and only seek for self. I believed that the ideologies that excited was based on educational status but having gone through academia and seeing the same issues in all levels, I must say I am saddened and intend to seek for love with color blind lenses.

    Will I like to get with a good brother that has family and moral values? Respects his sister? Teaches other do to so also? and are not caught up with complexion issues? of course. But, I am going to wait? Not anymore.

  • guest

    White men are the dominant topic on virtually every black women's blog. It's crazy. It really seems to have become more intense once Barack and Michelle moved into the White House.

  • Jay

    I am 20 years old and I am not obsessed with white men. If its not black I dont want it. The article was a great read. But I think most black women are seeking out white men because black men are seeking out other races that are not black women. Besides most successful black men wont date a black woman.

  • LOS

    Has anyone noticed most black females that date white men are ugly. I mean it's not a problem to me. I know a lot of black males that get mad but hell I date outside of the african american community because I choose to do what I want. I've been all over the world so I don't see life in a small USof A box.

  • Layla

    She never do research. She writes the first thing that comes to mind. Mrs. Williams is married to a black man but I think she secretly fancy white guys. I feel sorry for her poor husband.

  • Anna

    I'm all about the swirl! As long as the guy treats me well and wants my loyalty, love and compassion then what does it matter what color it comes in? I just wish more dudes in general would feel the same way.

  • Porfirio

    By the way, do you know the greatest fear of a white man with a Black woman?

  • Porfirio

    This article is a hog caller: why are other people responding to it?? I hope that one day the only people responding to slop like this are the IR people and the kellys of this world. Let's be bigger people, what do you say?


  • skh_stellar_one

    The title of the article is a bit misleading, but she makes a good point: Many black women who date outside of their race are merely keeping their options open. Nothing wrong with that.

  • patricia

    Oh! Yes they are here in Arkansas and its all over gaining as many males no matter what color they are from each other. Its about being Queen of Arkansas! Its about I don't really need that man but she has him and its because of that, they are most wanted here in Arkansas. Its about I got a good job and will buy that man from that woman no matter what because of the rank of it all. Its all about Entourage!!!!!

  • tally

    Sounds like you are the "scared racist." I think people have a problem with Obama not because he is part-black, but because they thoroughly disagree with his terrible, incompetent leadership , troubled relationships, lack of promised transparency and just plain cluelessness.

  • btowne

    So i gather you are a white woman with a flat ass, and dog hair to. As you said, "the truth hurts doesn't it?"

  • btowne

    You're nothing.

  • btowne

    Hey kelly, ever thought of seeing a psychiatrist? You need one.

  • Woodrow

    A black girl who takes care of herself can be very appealing. But this is inconsequential to race. If she appeals then she appeals and white men will give chase. White men are the least inhibited about these things.

    • david

      so if you say so. Anyways its easy to be the least inhibited when you are the most glorified.

  • btowne

    I mean isn't that what white girls do?

  • btowne

    Oh they get pregnant alright. Have you ever heard of Abortion?

  • btowne

    Honey, nobody has asked you to have a baby, adopt a baby, get married or anything. If you got your head on straight then more power to you but remember, you have a vagina just like the girls that get pregnant out of wedlock so stop being so judgmental. Since you feel so strong about the subject, then open up a mentoring center to help. Make sure the same doesn't happen to you or your daughter if you ever have one because she is going to have a vagina to. Just because a girl have a baby out of wedlock does not mean she is going to die and go to hell because God forgives us all for our sins. If you haven't done one thing and gotten caught, you may get caught in another but don't worry, God will forgive you.

  • Shun

    Well said Matt but judging by these post there are. Lot of hateful, single, loud mouth bitter ladies out there. But hate hurts the hater. Not all black women feel like this way. Education teaches tolerance. It's lacking by some of these post.

  • btowne

    Lovethemall, you're nothing but a dirty racist dog. Just because you are white doesn't mean you're right. I work around white people everyday to and by the way, white people have a "stinch" or a "funk" as well as others. Always act like y'all lily white – – child puh-lease.

  • joeclyde

    Congrats for seeing things for the way they truly are. So of these women need to wake up. This excuse of "Black men are doing it…."

    As if that only is a good reason to date somebody.


      Keep teaching

    • temple t00

      The whole world is “doing it” & enjoying it 😀

  • joeclyde

    Why should any man give tips on a woman that comes to him freely? I never see articles on how to date an Asian woman either.

  • joeclyde

    I have to give credit where credit is due. There are some smart Black women speaking up against this nonsense. These Black women who worship white men have been acting like a rabbi obsessed cult. Trying to recruit new followers to the Church of the holy white man. While bashing black men and black women who date black men. Along the way.

    Enough is enough. Nobody in their right mind is going to be against any woman dating whomever she pleases. But the one sided obsession love affair by some of these black women. Then need to get a grip. Even the white guys that date black women. Never proclaim exclusivity to Black women. Why are these Black women so obsessed with White men?

    Sure self hatred could be one of the reasons. Immaturity is another. I believe nativity, and personal responsibility in relationship also plays a role. But whatever the case. After 5 years of preaching the same message, and not seeing White men reach out. At some point you are going to have to realize that you a woman. You shouldn't debase yourself for any man.

    • kelly

      The key word. The white men who do date a black woman, never ever proclaim exclusivity to black women. 5 years, I first noticed this cult back in 1999.

  • Lammy

    I don't have a problem with the article as much as I do the comments made by "InnocentTruthIsBack". Um, who made you the spokesperson for all Black people? You clearly have a double standard as well as a misogynistic attitude toward women – black women in particular. No one cares who you date…date a walrus if that is your desire, however, don't think that ALL black women care that a black man dates outside of his race – we don't. And it has been my observation that SOME Black men that are with a white woman do act like they found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. First of all, dating should be about getting to know the person you are initially attracted to better, not some imagined status symbol. Why don't you take a deep look within yourself -seems like there is some self loathing or insecurity there….

  • Just sayin. . .

    Why can't Black women just date a GOOD man regardless of what his race is? Why does it have to be about race? I don't care what his race is, if he's a good man who wants to love me, raise a family, and puts God in his life then that's what really matters!

  • believe

    Don't be jealous, Taquisha. When black women are lucky enough to "snare" a White man, it gives them a sense of superiority, of a special person. And a heavy agenda to demean black love? Sort of up there like the 73% illegitimate rate that black women have, eh? Stay in the sandbox. The cats will eventually cover you up.

  • i dont think black women are obsessed with white men either. i'll date white, black, whatever. doesn't really matter to me. why limit your options to one race when you can find the one youre looking for outside your race? i find that some white men are actually obsessed with black women(or just secretly find them attractive). many white men have told me that its their dream to be with a black women, so its the opposite.

    as far as black men being less desirable, i think that the media make black men look bad. because there has always been an issue with them only because of their skin color, black people's mistakes are put out there for the world to see. other races are guilt of the same crimes or even WORSE its just that they blow it up in your face if you're black. they're just looking for reasons to make their hatred for blacks justifiable. its disgusting.

  • I'm a biracial female and I've always dated who I can laugh with, relate to, and who shares my goals and desires. I'm in a very happy relationship with a white man. I think the most important thing a woman of any race should find a man whose values and goals match their own. Relationships are happier when two people of any color or creed are on the same wave length.

  • Ann

    DEAR GOD PEOPLE, read the title!!! If you see the title, the word obsessed is in quotations. Whenever you see that, it is an obvious sign of sarcasm.

    So, coming into the paragraph, she is saying we are not obsessed with them, that in fact we should start looking to more than our own men if you're having problems finding a man that looks like you. I thought that since we are all so "educated", we would have known that. Sheesh!

    BTW: I think the writer is right, since there's such a "black man shortage", we should open our horizons. Though race is important to understanding one's existence, it isn't one's entire existence.

    • Gayle

      Who ever taught you that a word in quotations means sarcasm? That's not what it means…..it's simply meant to make the word stand out from the rest.

  • Matt

    I have two white cousins who are married to black women. Both couples are extremely happy. One cousin is a doctor and the other is a lawyer. They take care of their families and treat their wives like gold. What exactly is the problem with this? Let people live their lives. It's "their" lives after all.

  • Pan Giggins

    white men think black women are skanky
    Thats a fact

    • btowne

      Maybe yours is.

    • btowne

      Your parents taught you well on how to be racist, didn't they?

  • Anopenmind

    This article is crap!

  • Marcia

    Yep…..that is good reason to date them. It can change laws. Once they go black they never go back.

  • Marcia

    I have a son and I have never met a black man that was interested in mentoring him. Every white guy i have had any extensive conversation with offered to get him in school, the service, a job and anything else to help him. Maybe it
    was thier guilt about this racist society, but, NO black men were interested. thank god he is 29 and still alive and not in prison.

    • Porfirio

      Good for your son Marcia. It looks like your situation is more due to your own attitude rather than anything else. KNOW THY SELF

    • Bjdun

      Well how many men have you had around your son??? Good grief.

  • Marcia

    You are full of bull and you know it. Black men show absolute contempt towards black women when they are
    with a white woman…usually less educated white trash that white men don't even want. We have attitude because YOU have attitude.

    • Craig-gantt

      Negative, I am an educated African American scientist. I married a brilliant and beautiful African American woman and have a bright and happy African American daughter. The fact that my family even exist makes your statement false. If you’re bitter because of personal experiences fine, but please keep your negative, digital media driven self-hate stereotypes to yourself.

  • Marcia

    Do you have one???

  • Cecily

    but you're on a black blog?

    You are either:

    A) a white man whose feelings are hurt by her comments


    B) a black woman in a relationship with a white man, whose feelings are hurt by her comments.

  • Cecily

    I am so sorry brother, I thought you were a woman when I read some of your previous posts, not because you sound feminine, just the fact that this site caters to women. I agree with everything you've written. You sound like a good man.

  • kelly igbo

    Dr Laura did not call a black radio staion to complain that her black husband pals and family are racially abusing her, only to get cussed out live on radio. You black afro american women did. LOL LOL LLIt was very funny. You lose. Dr Laura put that woman in her place.

  • eau3

    psychobabble. all of it. why don't you people get your values somewhere else than pop culture. you all have a brain, use it.

  • Cecily

    It's true. Most black people aren't respected due to the vibe that they give off. It's like they are ashamed to be black. No matter how much they are put down by whites and belittled, they keep wishing, and hoping, and praying that one day they will be seen in a better light. Like a kicked dog or something.

  • Shun

    Ok but all this negative talk about interracial relationship sounds like a repeat of stories of the past. Make you OWN history don't hold a grudge because great grandma who has onset dementia tells you stories about how she grew up. We can't change the past but we can look forward to shaping the future. This is modern day segregation at best. It annoys me when black men call me "sistah/sista". I immediately reply back by saying, We don't have the same mother or father so I'm NOT your sista/sistah" it's cliché and old. Most people don't know their heritage or where they come from. You automatically think just because our skin is dark we are black. Everyone always talk about how much equality in the world and workforce that they want but I read these post and say to you that you are your own worse enemy. Just because someone slaps you doesn't mean you have to slap them back. Be the bigger person. My husband and indentify with human being not skin color. I have three black children two of them are between 16-18 and they are being raised to love everyone just like my Bible teaches. Why would I teach them to be hateful, angry, and bitter? They know where they came from and they are loved so they don't feel like they have something to prove or try to identitfy with any race. My ex husband is black and my current husband is white and my ex husband will tell anyone that the best thing that has happened to his kids is that man who happens to be white. Just so happened I found love with a high IQ wielding white man who is less than a year from getting his JD to become a corporate lawyer and when I met him, I was merely and still am a small self employed business owner who just so happened to meet a great guy while shopping in a grocery store..

  • Tpe

    kigali queen of new castle/unemployed chick with a stick
    You and me both know that African women have other bigger more pressing issues to worry about than some chick from Watts.What with African men raping,pillaging,and bankrupting Africa.God bless those poor African Women.
    (no sarcasm intended)

  • So much ignorance, foolishness, and hostility going on…when it comes to dating/marriage, I always abided by two simple rules: 1. Ain't shyt comes in all colors. 2. Fine comes in all colors.

    I dated in and outside my race before I married outside my race. I don't necessarily think there's some ridiculous dramatic shortage of black men facing black women; I just married who made me happy and was the best fit for me.

    It's truly amazing that some people have this much time to obsess over dating/relationship patterns.


  • kelly

    I believe Both American black men and women date other races, with passion for revenge on each other. You are both using whites as pawn because you are to bitter, revengeful, angry and hateful and immature to sit down and disuse how to save your failing community. Black men AND women do it. Black men chase white women,and black women beg white women. 2 rotten apples from the same rotten tree. Mean while the white race laugh at you and continue to prosper WITHOUT you. They take the money back to their own race and leave black men AND women to rot in jail and the hood

  • Ih8vernon

    I have been approached many times in my life by white men, yes I am a black female. but sorry no way in hell would I date a white man. I see how they get mad at things kill the wife, kids, parents, siblings and dog. WTH, is with that. That can't take simple lifes pressures without killing people. Going to work, shooting up the place because they can't function at work. Yes, black men shoot and kill each other, so do hispanics and whites, but it is rare that they go home and shoot up their families. It's so hard to believe that if fired these people come back to work and kill the whole company. They kill the wive because they have a new girlfriend, or mistress wants to get married. and they can't bring the kids into the new relationship so they must die also. You can keep your white men, I will always be for the chocolate colored man. They all cheat and lie like a dog, but it's rare for the "my family must die, so I can be with the hooch".

  • kelly

    I agree. The black woman who was called the n word from dr laura was very dark. I know she was not going to be Rihnana's shade.

  • David Reed

    Ha! I read it because I'm a white guy who wondered how the heck an entire race of women could be obsessed with me and me not even have a clue. It was like winning the lottery . . .then I woke up.

  • kelly

    I work in Brazil. The population is nearly 50% white and only 6% black. There are more mixed people than black. Mainly Indian and white. Brazil is a rich country, guess who is dirt poor?

    • Tpe

      Kigali/queen of new castle/chick with the *ick thank you for proving my point about you.You are a serial stalker.

      so you work in Brazil, live in the uk, are from Haiti, but you're Nigerian, and you're married to a Chinese man

      GTFOOH kigali/queen of new castle/whatever your name is…

      • kelly

        Married to A chinese man? MY BF is igbo, and yes PR takes me all over the world, every moth. Try it. When you get out of jail. I am igbo Nigerian. Brazil IS racist to blacks, go there and see. LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

        You are a serial stalker………of white men, I read your earlier desperate pleas to the white man. What white man articles are geared at how to date black women? Where are they?

  • Dingo

    This article attempts to substantiate the behavior by attempting to understand how black men got over history and found the capability to date white women. Every psych, soci, etc., I've learned and come to know will tell you that your actions are based on you, your history, and your expectations, and blaming others is a pointless, frivolous exercise that only delays your understanding of yourself.

    Stop the blame game, please!!!

  • Shun

    My husband is a white corporate lawyer in training and I am a black woman. We've been married five years now happily. For majority of my dating life I dated black men and I can say each and every relationship went wrong. I had to re-evaluate myself because I thought maybe I was doing something wrong until I met my husband. He's made me a better person by trusting more and having faith, i became more open-minded, and I'm no longer shy. We encounter racism and dirty stares all the time but we shrug it off. We forget we are an interracial couple until it's brought up. And if someone mocks us for bring together we just laugh at them. You never know where you will find love. I'm personally obsessed with being happy not obsessed with white men. thanks.

  • Paulo

    So you were "surrounded by white males most of [your] life" and you "just don't see what [you] could possibly have in common with them"? Well how about all that stuff you were doing while you were surrounded? Or were you afraid you might catch whiteness if you interacted with a real white person during all that time?

  • Paulo

    I wonder how people would take it if an article discussed how white men only date black women, because white women are simply too desirous and popular with black men. Would anyone take offense at that? Of course not.


  • evilin garnett

    Okay, I get Kee Kee's pink skin phobia. If she were in a position of great power she might be dangerous, as skin color phobias generally lead to murder, slavery, oppression. However Miss Kee Kee is on a site for and about Black women. But what the hell is this car parking troll doing here, especially since he apparently doesn't like the way black people smell. Then why check into a website about black women. Dude, you are a one wierdo pervy troll.

  • Jim in Michigan

    As a white male who has always prefered black females, you can imagine my disappointment to learn black women are not really obsessed with white males. It's just a matter of black women and white men awakening to the possibility of finding love and acceptance by another human being. It doesn't have to be any more complicated than that.

  • Ugh

    Please go away. You sound really stupid "kelly" and you are making Nigerians look bad.

    • kelly

      And your obsession with white men ( as the heading suggest ) is making the black female race look stupid.

      • Ugh

        There is NO obssession with White men. That was the point of the article. Did you even read it…?

  • Tpe

    Black men don't want black women that already have children.They have made this clear.It seems many of them don't want the mothers of their own children.

    I think black men have the right to their preferences but I think it is blatantly evil of you to tell that woman to continue with a set of men here in America who consider her damaged goods.I think many unwed men without children would prefer not to have a ready made family.However,black men have been particularly clear in stating their DISDAIN for black women with children.

    If she opens up her options to other men she'll have a slightly larger pool of men to pick from who are marriage minded and don't mind being with a woman with children.

    Also a white man could be a great fit for her son because he could teach her son about the mentality of some white men because as a white man he likely grew up around many other white men.This would mean he could help her son steer clear or undercover racist whites and teach her son how to maneuver in daily interactions with white people ,not to be confused with teaching him how to kiss the collective asses of white people, at work and school which could make the boy's life much easier

    • tally

      And wouldn't a black man help him stay clear of "racist blacks by teaching him the "mentality of black racists?" I hope you are not a parent because you will teach only hate.

    • Amber


  • kelly

    But if you are gong make up words about white men…………….don't you think the white men should know what the darn words means too. Like, you say Swirl, Swirly baby and becky, but the white man thinks swirl is an Ice cream . It makes no sense. The crusade is about the white man, but you speak in a code the white man does not understand. Does that make sense?

    • Eddie

      Kelly, I am Caribbean but I once had a 3-year affair with a Yoruba Naija girl in the UK while a student there. We aren't married today because tribal taboos are just as strong as white racism. Not knocking y'all, because I had mad love for the lady from Ibadan, and generally still respect Africans, but this obsession with white men that a growing number of bw have is not just a destructive tendency in America, but it seems to be alive and well in Africa too., even South Africa.
      What was galling to me was the way my girl was pressured by her clan to leave the relationship, yet a wm was readily accepted as the husband of one of her sisters. There's a defect in the black dna. God did not create perfect humans..

  • kelly

    Can someone tell me What the hell a ' swirl ' and why are white women called becky's – EVEN IF THAT IS NOT THERE NAMES?

    i HAVE asked many white men and they do not know what swirl is. Swirl is an ice-cream the UK.

  • kara

    Kelly Give it a rest! You dont make good sense! Give it a rest.

    • kelly

      Actually I a saying what the writings on the wall are. And as you decided to attack African, i had to defend my people, especially from thug, monsters, vile, scary black american women like you. Truth hurts.

      PS: Can clear up what Swirl, becky and swirl baby means? My friends have not got clue what it means and what dumb ares made the slang up

  • kelly

    African women do not speak this type of dialogue. African women do not say ' Swirl baby' or call any african men monkey Nword. We do not SINGLE Out white women and call them '' becky's. This is what I am talking about. American black women, have turned their obsession with white men into a culture, with own language that only THEY SPEAK. You never hear white men say 'swirl ' or call his own women becky.. You are crazy and mentally sick.

  • kara

    Nigerian men on the Forbes list. Oh that is why the country is so corupt. Nigerians are known as criminals. They always put that "can you give me $500 ? You will receive 1,000,000 for helping me. They try to rob people around the world constantly.

    • kelly

      America is the same too. Your banks have been in a lot of trouble. Heard of the bail out? Naija men are on forges. One made 13 billion. 11billion in one year. LOL LOL More than Oprah's net worth. Now they ran off TV, she is finished. Prince william would not marry any BLACK WOMAN . At least African were at the wedding, unlike your filthy ghetto kind. African world leaders have met the queen. When micehlle touched the queen all hell broke loose. Stupid ghetto hood rat. You do not touch the queen. No wonder she is the most hated is lady in history, she has not respect for protocol. AIDS is dropping in Africa faster than any where in the world, but rising in black american women faster than any one else. So funny. And you live in a rich superpower and you have the highest climbing aids rates. When did prince William make a racist statement? Liar. I am from the UK. I am a naija born London girl Prince William does not make race based comments.

  • Kara

    they absolutely call africans monkeys and say that that is where aids is from AFRICANS having sex with monkeys. Most white men think of african women as savages…please come on now…why are you so obsessed about what white people say about michelle? When Prince William was asked who might he marry…he said definitely not an African. Give it a rest. Africans are not respected

    • kelly

      Africans still have a homeland, culture and language. They have hit a billion in population ( while you are out breaded by latins ) and African men are still making those billions and bringing it back home to the African wife and kids, while your men are giving their money to Swedish nannies or Kim kardashian. Your not wanted, respected or like by any race and even your men hate your are. All your men are even gay. Anything to avoid the filth you are. No one wants to take care of you and bring money back home to your or your ghetto kids. Every woman on earth, has men that bring home the bacon and look after the seeds. Except. Go ace to begging white men on youtube.

  • kelly

    I hate when hey compile these list, reports, surveys, charts, articles, visuals, poems, reports of some white men with black women. It like a fatal attraction obsession. Gabriel Aubry use to be at the top of the hit list. So what happens now? Is he still on the list now that he has dumped halle? Does the list get revised ? Oh, I know, is it like the annual forges richest ( which has nigerian men worth 13 billion ) people list? Do you sell these list?

  • kelly

    Bingo! There you go with these list. African women do not study and compile a report of which white men are with which black women. If you could put that energy into how to save your failing race, you might have a race to be proud of. Studying white men and who they date? Your list only is less than a thousand. We have over 5 billion folks in the world.

    Anything you have from your in depth white report, miss IR white man katie couric? See….you are obsessed with white men . Now can we have the list of the amount of white men who date blondes with big boobs?

  • kelly

    I am from Nigeria. At least I am respected and seen as human in MY COUNTRY. YOU black American are not respected or seen as human in your country.

  • kelly

    African women do not live online talking about white men all day. Nor do they beg on youtube or have parties because Kelis is in a picture with her white A& R guy from the label. We also do not make list ( which one black woman has just done ) Nor do we have competition on who makes the whiter babies. We also do coon over Halle's kid or Garcelle kid.

    An African woman would never go on abloom and call herself a white man cum dump, nor do feel excited abbot ghetto gaggers. We also are not celebrating the IMF rape thing as some declaration white men love us. Nor do we call white women '' becky's '' An African girl will never call a white woman becky. That slang is not in Africa. Don't you dare put this white begging on to African women. It is your thing.

  • kelly

    They do not call African world leaders monkey or chimps, but they call michelle Obama that all the time. The white men do. LOL that the President of Ghana is not called a chimp, but American born michele obama os the chimp ist lady, according to white men.

    • kelly

      Who called Kofi Anna a chimp? Not anyone of fox nEWS. Michelle Obama was depicted by google as a monkey, in a google search. Fox news called her Barack's babymomma. You make mock obama, but at least he has been a President. Where are your black men in the white house? You should thank him for bring the chimp to the white house, who else would have done that? What white man would have married a chimp, like obama?

      Even Iman said michelle is ugly.

    • btowne


  • kelly

    The American black woman is the least respected person in the world. Along with aborignes. That is for sure.

  • Tara

    Actually it is African women who marry white men in greater numbers than African American women. Also, I highly doubt that white and chinese have as much respect for African men in business as you say. If they are so powerful then why have they not changed the image of Africa around the world? European and Chinese men do not respect Africans! They think that you are savages! Furthermore, I have an African girlfriend who only dates white men. You are soooo naive!

    • kelly

      African women marry African men on even greater scale. That is why the African ovulation has hit a billion. It is us that are keeping the black race alive in the uk. You are so naive. Self hated does not exits in Africa. Do you watch the multi million dollar Nollywod movies? You claim you have a GF that only date white men? White men do not only date African women. Even the ones in South Africa. I do not believe that, I have never met aN aFRICAN exclusively chasing a race of men that hate them. African women have strong families and they have dad who they respect. Also, what does that have to do with the conversation? Now African women beg white men too. Not a chance. Nigeria population has hit 130million. What do you think of that? I have white male friends who only dae white women. You are so naive. LOL If your so called African '' friend '' met a oil rich Nigerian man, She will not turn down for some average white man. Unless the white man was even richer…..but then, how many super rich white men are with african women?

      White and Chinese men do respect black american women, or even seem them as human. At least they see african men as human. Black american women are seen as nothing but animalistic hoes. White and Chnese men will laugh at a prominent African man who date american black women.

      Give Africa 20 years and we will see.You use to be a slave not too lone go. Change will come. One thing is for sue. YOU ARE NOT reSPECTED IN your own country, by any one. I am and always will.

      • Tpe

        Are you really talking up the UK Africans kelly?

        After 1 generation of being in the Uk your African men are normally venturing out to marry and have children by white women.Quit lying kelly..Quit lying on Africa.Some places there are godd but some places are a mess and you know it.Nigeria will soon belong to the non black Arabs and you know it

  • Kara

    Kelly I dont think that Chinese or European men respect African men too much. I think that they might have a little more respect for latin men. They dont in any regard think of African men as being on their level. If African men are so powerful then why is not Africa not more highly regarded? Why is Africa mostly know as poverty stricken. Powerful men could surely change that image.

    • kelly

      European men or Chinese men do not respect the black race. Period. I have worked in China and there are tons on naija men there on business. I do not see any black americans in asia. Africa is not completely poor. USA is a superpower, but blacks live in the filthy ghetto and are in jail. in such a rich country. African men are STILL doing more business with Western men , than western black women and men combineDd. The future will improve for Africa. Europe born Africans are also going back to contribute. What we are not doing is getting pregnant and going to jail. African men are on their level, if you are dealing with the president of the nation. Nigeria, is Nigerian governed. Contracts still have to be cleared by the Nigerian government is headed by naija man and is naija ist lady. That is the difference between us and you. We have a country that we govern. You have the scraps the white throws at you. You do not have a country do govern, do you? Where is home. America is NOT your home. You cannot cone back to any stake in Africa. No one else in the world wants. You under the power of the white man who rules the USA. My country is rule by a naija man. Now who is respected?

      Africans live in the USA ( I have family ) No African is in a gang or pregnant at 16. We did not come to America to be babymomma's like your kind.

  • i40slick

    Are there still black women out there ? I figured they all went away with their spirit guide Oprah, when she finally took a hike ! Maybe the next generation won't be so self centered….

  • Tara

    Actually Kelly Michelle Obama came from a two parent household. Her father died from an illness and he and Barack were very close. It was Barack’s AFRICAN father who left him to be raised by a single mother. Michelle is from a solid unit. Her mother is a widow. Oh and by the way she and her brother are ivy league educated.

    • Oh Really

      And her brother is married to a WHITE woman.

  • Kara

    To "brothas" who state white men dont want black women, look at the new york times wedding more black women/white men than the opposite and they are both usually doctors or lawyers or have graduate degrees, etc. there are wealthy white men married to black women who could have had anyone that they wanted. good number of rich white men married black women. Not just Robert Deniro. Roland Betts who owns Chelsea Piers and is the former owner of the whaaat? Texas Rangers. Peter Norton CEO can you say Norton Antivirus? Now that is Silicon Valley money. Mat Carlston and countless others.

  • Vee

    I have officially come to hate this topic with a passion.

    I've always happened to date whoever I have a connection with without race being a factor and I have never been the one doing the pursuing. I agree with some of your points but I don't feel the need to defend my choices in relationships to anyone. What exactly is the purpose of all these articles in defense of or in support of interracial relationships….? If someone has a problem with it or has the wrong idea thats their issue not mine. And why try to compare it to what Black men are supposedly doing as a whole? That has nothing to do with what I chose to do and it should have no bearing on what YOU want. If a woman chooses to date someone of another race she will and if she wants to date Black men exclusively she will, at the end of the day its her prerogative and no one else's business.

  • Kelly

    African men are too busy doing deals with chinese to wash the car you stole from a '' becky '' . I think white men will view African men and women way better that Afro americans like you, tamar. African men are at Harvard, Yale and London school of economics, places a hoodrat like you will never be. So you can take your tricked out chevy imapla on 22inch rims somewhere else.

    LOL at afro american woman suggesting that African men come to the USA to wash her car, when Africans are out performing black americans in all Ivy leagues, and there more African billionaires on the forges list than afro yanks. Oprah is the only one.

    Tell your women to stop people up on subways and putting up the video on youtube. What kind of upbringing is that?

    African men would not be caught dead with black american woman, the standard is too low for them. Poor Obama…could he not find an Iman or Sade type black woman from Africa? He marries a woman from a single parent family from……..south side chicago – the hood? He wonders why whites call him ghetto?

  • I just spent quite a few hours doing nothing but browsing the net reading all the comments and post about interracial dating. There is definitely strong opinions, especially when it's on the subject of black women seeking white men. I think people feel they can post comments and say what they really want to. One thing's for sure is we got a long way to go in race relations. The amount of ignorance is amazing. But at the same time there is no question that I'm seeing more and more interracial couples out there.

  • Who dat

    Bull!!! black women live in their phony world of self serving…Black women are so obsessed with trying to tame a black man.. Black men are too aggressive to let that happen, so we come off as selfish, uncommitted & not trying hard enough. I can show you a crop of black women sitting at home alone because the men they deal with , refused to be tame!!! So Black women, always whining about, they're no good black men, it's plenty, we're just smart enough not to be your puppet.

    • Sean Coonery

      LOL Speak on it!!!!!!!!!!

  • Whatever

    Your overexaggerated title maybe over the top, but this is not, If Black women are obsessed with marrying white men…this a fact they want to marry a white man, but in the bedroom, dreams of a black man!!!

    • kelly

      No they don't! American black women ( west indian too ) want a white man child. In Africa, we have north africans with olive skin and straight hair. It does not bother the average west african. In the USA, You guys are colour stuck like mad. You all live for the fantasy of having kids like Halle or Garcelle beuvias. White women do not care about Halle or Garcelle's kid. African women do not give a dam about Halle or her kid. It is only the American black woman that has competitions of having whiter babies than black men. We do not think like this in Africa. Nigeria's population is over 130million and growing. Clearly we love our black naija babies. PS: I don't think Halle's kid is anything special. Go to South Africa, the babies in township are much cuter. Africa have some of the most beautiful babies you will see…..why do you think white families adopt them?

  • GodsGift

    TOUCHE! Cara I could not have said it any better or clearer. The agenda is to divide and rule. Nothing wrong with interracial dating. We are all human, and to each it's own, but there is a bigger picture to be seen and the true agenda is to eliminate the black family. Demean the black man, demean the black woman and what they represent. Seperate the family, because after all a black man and woman will create more black children. Those in position of "POWER" in our great AMERICA can't have that, so they start small. They know the weakness of the black race. They are effective in creating black on black crime, making sure our children, young boys specifically are un-educated, who grow up to be un-educated men, and fill up the prisons. Point is this, the black woman is strong, and raise strong black kids, and when in a committed relationship we stand behind and build up our strong black man. So what they are trying to do is to discredit the black woman. When you discredit the woman you take away her value.

  • Porfirio

    Miss Kelly;
    I believe that you know of where you speak. However, your experience appears to be quite different than African American and I think maybe you should refrain from your hyper criticism until you educate yourself a bit more. As far as your frustrations in the white European man's world go, that's because that's your choice. There are quite a few African Americans that make a lucrative living in this country without depending on handouts from whites. Something to think about isn't it?


    • Lovely

      Kelly is a man! It should be Mr Kelly. Do you think that an actual woman would be protesting on here saying how white men dont want her or any black women? Dude is a lady!!!!

      • kelly

        And you are a bitter black women who is lonely, hence why you clicked on this site. I am a woman and you cannot prove otherwise, you are just angry because I am saying things that you don't want to hear. The truth hurts. Sorry that Powerful white men from Europe or the USA are not worshiping black women. Sorry to ruing your fantasy, but it is time you lot start living in the bloody real world. All this american ego talk that all races are' checking' for me is dumb. If you came out to say, monaco or st tropez., you will see white women getting more love and you have learn to live with that. It is not a bad thing, when they say, Swedish women are the best looking women in the world…. I don't care that white men fly to stockholm just to stare at swedish women. American black women seem to be the only ones of earth who cannot live with that.

        Yes, women will say that if it is true and she is strong enough to not care that white men value their own women. I am not going live in a crazy denial and pretend white men love me or black women. That is not true. I cannot find work for black models. I have never had a request for black women at events. All powerful white men I deal with are with white women. When I go to events in Cannes or Royal ascot I don NOT SEE BLACK WOMEN. What do you want me to do? Run around town screaming white men love black women and hate white women?

        You are just mad that I am telling the truth and it hurts. But that is life. White men will never like or respect black people. Even famous blacks have trouble.

        I am not protesting, I am commenting on why I know you are obsessed with white men and ( IMO ) jealous of white women. I am telling what life is like for me. I am not here to beg or praise white men. I do not do that.

        • Lovely

          Im lonley because i clicked on this site but your not and you have clicked on this site as well. Yea you are speaking the truth WHITE MEN DONT WANT YOU! Hey you dont hve to prove to me why white men dont want you i believe you. You just look pathetic as hell for saying that about yourself.

          • kelly

            I clicked on this site to give my 2 cents. White men don't me or any black woman from America. It os not racism, it just the way life is. Elite white men want to keep the money in house. Learn to deal with it. Races stick together. Your pathetic for saying white men and other races want you. I know 500 men from my social circle that would not touch you with a barge pole. I know white men that think Beyonce is fat and ugly. And she is beyond!

            • Lovely

              NO you need to deal with the fact that they dont want you! There are no problems over here and like I said before I agree with the what your saying white men dont want you. And you dont know what men from your social circle want you only know what they dont want which is your lame ass.

          • kelly

            For any PR events I will never use a black american girl like you, lovely. I will not use a black girl period, unless requested. That does not happen, but I have use a mixed race girl and some african ( but not too dark ) model. Like a Naomi type. I would never use you ( not that you care ) I don't believe you have an international look that clients find attractive; you sound scarily aggressive and you will make me be seen as ghetto, meaning I will be restricted to all black urban events – where there is no money. You have a torrid ego, which will wind up clients ( especially as you are not Halle, Megan Fox or Angelina ) And if a clients bag went missing…..guess who will get the blame? Time to bring yank black women back to the real world.

          • Lovely

            Your not much of a model then if white men dont want to work with you and your not much of a black woman for trying to put us all at the bottom of the barrel where you are. Your a babbling loser and proves why white men shouldnt want you.

      • kelly

        You are from Watts. End Of. Good luck with those successful white men you and all races of men you date…………in watts.

        OMG You said can get all races of men, and tons of successful white men and you call me ( a model turned PR exec and owner ) a failure, but you LIVE IN WATTS, and you want me to come to watts and so you can kick my ass.

        If you want to come to Kick my ass, you come to Formentera and St Tropez next month and you can kick my ass.

        • Sean Coonery

          Please Kelly, don't hurt 'em! LOL!!!!!

        • Lovely

          You want me! Get your Najia girls who arent scared of me and scrap like mad and come get me! Go pick up that cow patty. Theres a hole in the wall that needs fixing! You said it yourself that your a failure! No one wants to be with you or work with you but you have the nerve to get mad because I agree? Get mad at yourself for being stupid enough for saying it over and over again.

  • Porfirio

    Uh oh!

  • Porfirio

    Evidently you don't speak Spanish. But that's ok. I wish the both of you well. It sounds like you've gotten around a lil bit but don't make it sound as though Black men are the only ones that make "stupid comments" OK? Or maybe that's what hits close to home?????


  • REAL

    THANK YOU!!!!

  • SisterSarah

    If MN used a private photo that isn't cool, but thanks for the background on the couple. They looked too happy and content to just be a staged couple so I wondered if they were real. Much luck to them!

  • SisterSarah

    You are right. Lately Black women have been attacked from every angle from our looks ("All races think black women are ugliest") to our finances "(Black women are only worth $5"). If I read about another study, survey, or statistics that say "Black women ______," I feel like I am going to scream!

  • Porfirio

    Is this supposed to be one for the white men (read Rdubs white man) villain Black man zero??! If my woman could only justify her relationship with me by slamming some other man I would know that something is wrong. Try going on the other side of the tracks and be underwhelmed. But I guess you wouldn't be so welcome there huh?


  • Porfirio

    All due respect single Black female about Black Love, etc. I would like to know how would you know whether your significant other (white guy) is not a racist? (Or do you care?) By the way, in many of theses cases it is curious that Black females with a lot of animosity toward Black guys take up with white guys and its not surprising that the white guy shares their view! go figure


  • btowne

    Amen from one sistah to another.

  • Lisa

    But right now, you have no male mentor of any race for your son who is there for him on a day-to-day basis. Is no father/mentor a better state than a white (or other race) father/mentor?

  • Lovely

    How would you know what a white man wants. All you ignorant black men say that stupid nonsense because you want us to sit at home alone waiting for you to come back to us from being with white women. Black men date white women as an attempt to get back at the black woman for hurting them in the past. Ive been married to a white man for seven years and we love each other like crazy. NO one is sitting at home waiting on some nothing of a black man to acknowedge them when their are other men who will.

    • kelly

      We know what white men wants. They want what gets promoted as the most classiest, beautiful, graceful, lady like acting and the ultimate trophy. They want what is seen as the smartest, cleanest, healthiest, slim, powerful, successful. They want what is exactly on ether level on near enough. It has never been the black woman and never will in any country on earth. I am not a black man. I am a black woman from the UK who has lived and traveled all over the world for work with the very same white men. I know what the want . Black women aint it .

      Just because you are marry to a white man means nothing. You could be married to a white man you have to support like Thandie newton. Does not mean white men want black women. In Germany, some black women have to marry white men to get an EU passport. The bottom line is, white men do not value black women in the way they do white women. Robert deniron married a black women, yet he never ever had a black female as his leading lady. Even though he has power in hOLLYWOOD. See white men still hold power.

      • Lovely

        Just because they dont wont YOU sweetie dont mean that they dont want ME! I dont have a problem getting a man of any race. The only one who seems obsessed with white men here is YOU! Maybe you should move to the U.S.A. You seem rejected there in the U.K.

        • kelly

          What type of white man do you have? Wealthy, attractive and successful? Or the trash, white women kick to the curb. I know it is the latter. I don't settle. I am not gonna pretend like white or other races are chasing me down the block, because I deal with rich white men and that is not true. You have the average joe white man. I won't date that under any circumstance. I work in the USA. I know black women in American struggle with white in America – especially rich powerful white men. 70%single and begging on ABC DATELINE. I saw the show and laughed. No Indian, Arab or Chinese man will date you or I, they do NOT do black women.

          You clicked on this thread, you clearly have a problem getting men of all races – not to mention your own men who hate you. Also , if you think I am rejected in the UK , and I have told you I am at the high end of UK society, that is not good sign for black women is it?

          What city do you live in by the way? LOL LOL LOL I refuse to settle for fat trash, low level white man. I leave that to American black women like you. I am not paying the bills for any white man.

          • Lovely

            Every man that Ive dated have been successful. They are not billionaires but they arent bums on the street either. So if white men dont want black women then that means that they dont want you either. I believe that you are a male It may be hard for you to get a white male but its not hard for me. And if black men are rejecting me then they are doing the same to you. You seem adament about men not wanting you and from what you are saying i can see why. How about you get some self esteem? No man wants a woman with low self esteem regardless of what thier color is. IF you arent wanted in the U.K. then your not going to be wanted here. Maybe your chances will be better to find a man if you moved to China. Oh and by the way you cant settle if you dont have any choices.

            • kelly

              I doubt that. Successful white men really stay with their kind. It is even worse the more elite the white man is. It does not matter if white men do not want or respect black women. I am female and I know you are one of those single bitter raging black women. I know 500 white men in Mayfair alone, that would not touch you. Men in West Africa want , I CAN GO HOME AND find a husband. You need self esteem, stop begging white men. You will never be above their white women, and if you used the word becky to the face of a white man – you will pay for that. He will defend his woman against any black person. You included. I work in America, I know american white men have no love the black woman. I work in LA and NYC. Very racist things are said behind close doors. I have worked in China. Chinese men live for Chinese women, or white women next. No big deal. If you want to do PR China or Asia in general, sell them white women and western life and you can pay your mortgage for 6 months. I am not out to get a white man. I just sure the white man has the contracts and the money has cleared in my account. When it comes to the white man, I am into business. My life is not about begging white men to love. Just have the contract signed. That is how Indians do it and look how respected and powerful they are now. Much more than blacks. English is not even their ist language.

              • pfft…

                Your pills are bitter Kelly, but I can not argue against the truth you speak. A lot of black people period, male and female are in some serious denial when it comes to race relations and interracial dating. Yes, some white men are willing to cross the color line, but very few of means will do so. This can also be said of white women which is why most of the white women you see with the average black male are below average. Now I won't argue as to the content of their character. maybe it's the heart these women and men are looking at? I don't know.

            • Lovely

              Just because your not wanted in the white community doesnt mean that all black women are. Im not part of that 70% darlin. Im married to a white man! Your married to who exactly? Your part of that 70%.

            • btowne

              You stupid.

      • Bjdun

        Gosh, you’re dumb. First of all, Robert DeNiro has no control over who to cast in his movies unless he’s writing the script. Secondly, I can’t even recall him in any prominent love scenes-stop it with your stupidity.

    • Lovely

      The tit for tat is what black men play after they get hurt by a black women. I guess that they think that by being with a white woman is getting back at us. And if you are a black woman u have probably heard a black male say that if black women dont get their act together then they will find a white woman as if thats supposed to be some sort of threat like I couldnt date them or someone else of another race. Black men says these things because they think that our options are limited and that we will die without them.They act like they want to see black women upset with them dating outside their race. Well it wont be me. Ive dated men of all races and will continue to do so theres no limitation here.

    • kelly

      '' Trick '' I goctha. Is that ghetto word that thug women use. You are those crenshaw ghetto black women.

      No wonder it hurts. A london born Niaija former model turned PR firm owner and stylist consultant is giving her taste of how the upper echelon of society works and as it is not a part of it. She is shocked and angry. She thought ghetto black women who abuse people they do not know online and use worlds like '' trick '' were in high demand. LOL You can call me names. I will still give my opinion whether you like it or not.

      • Lovely

        The only one hurt here is you! Your the one stating white men dont want you! Im good over here! Your just mad cuz you want your statements to apply to everyone and it dont! Not only are you a trick but your obviously a ugly ass, low self esteem having trick. Contracts my ass.

    • Lovely

      Sure u do. Ur rejected more in the workforce by white men then in the bedroom. If ur so hot then why arent u being accepted by them again you self proclaimed reject?

      • pfft…

        Because white men keep the money and power in their own race.


    • btowne

      From I been told, they ain't got nothing to F*** with. So why would black women be obsessed with?

  • isola

    There is no way white men statistically date outside of their race the least. I constantly see white men dating Asian and Latino women. I do believe black women and probably Asian men date outside of their race the least.

  • Tamar

    I will never date a black man unless I had goals of being broke and unhappy dealing with uncecessary drama.They are the biggest hypocrites, they are irresponsible, uneducated, and unreliable. The only thing they are consistant in is disappointment. Ive seen it before. All my friends who date black men are unhappy and I refuse to become another one added to the list by lowering my standards by having a relationship with one. They have the nerve to believe that every woman of every race wants them which is a joke unless shes looking to become baby momma number 5. Im over black men. They are a disgrace. The only thing they can do for me is wash my car. They keep their rides cleaner than their asses. Not dealing with them is the best decision I have ever made.

    • Porfirio

      Kelly don't be so smug. Tamar wins Hater of the year lead medal and you Kelly get second place. By the way, I think that Tamar is really (secretly) a white man! But Kelly, you may not be aware, but Nigerians are also making quite a reputation for themselves nowadays as scammers and gangsters of note. So you might do well to take some of that advice you're handing out to Tamar for yourself.


      • btowne

        I agree with you on this Porfirio.

      • Tamar

        I state how I feel and Im a hater? Really? Exactly what am I hating on? Just remember if your going to try to defend the black man that they surely wont do it for you. Im African American and Im proud of it however I beg to differ that the black man feels the same.

      • Kelly

        The Nigerian economy is predicted to surpass south africa, to be the most powerful economy in Africa. Nollywood is just after Hollywood and Bollywood. Do not confuse your thug trick daddy men with african moguls and business leaders. Tamar is not a white man, white men do not come on black women sites and coon about IR dating.

        • Tamar

          No but a white man will come on to a black site pretending to be a black woman arguing about how white men dont want you. Dont get mad at me because your not good enough. Guess you can ask daddy to buy you a better weave to help you look better you mudduck.

          • Tamar

            I meant to say only a black man would come on this site pretending to be black woman. Their pathetic games never ends. This is why I dont bother with them.

    • Who dat

      Tamar, that white skin is getting to you. Nice try though!!!

      • Tamar

        If it makes you sleep better at nite to say that Im white then by all means believe that I am. Who are you that I have to prove my nationality to? Oh your Who dat, whatever that means.

    • ebonyencounters

      Kelly… you absolutely do not understand what this gender war is about. Please stop commenting. You do not live in America and you do not understand the racial history of America… You need to mind your own business. Please. Thank you and Carry On… somewhere else.

  • yall wildin

    wow… that's all I can say… some people of this blog have some serious issues… mostly the women..

  • Kelly

    She is right! I live in Europe. White men are not lining up to wife BW, nor do White men love black women. Maybe there are a few that have a black partner ( or had ) But not even enough to make 10%. 10% OF European men of any country are not with or in love with black women. The key, is that white men DO NOT want black / mixed kids.

    To the poster, Tia Mowrey married and ugly old white man, her sister married a fine black man. BW do not get the best white men, but, like BM also get the scraps white women do not want. Halle, Stacey, Thandie, Zoe, Kerry are all with hideous ugly ( in some cases unemployed ) white men. LOL at Brad pitt and Bradley cooper, you might as well throw Justin Timberlake, Cristiano Ronaldo, ARO, Tom Brady , Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom in the mix too

    • Guest

      While I agree with your first assertion, I have to say that Gabriel Aubry is gorgeous and Ollie Parker is not bad.

  • Denise

    Um, I'm married to one, and the fact that you can insult my intelligence without even knowing anything about me speaks volumes to your obviously provincial, narrow-minded and embarassingly ignorant person. Let's here it for broad, sweeping generalizations! Wow, you see how much I've surmized from just a few assholish sentences from you? I guess that's how you came up with your silly blanket statement above.

    • Amber

      thank you so much! i’m Black Caribbean but was raised around Caucasians. None of them were racist. I have nothing but great memories of them. I loved all the cute Italian boys in my neighborhood. I’m also very mixed and educated and I only date Irish-Italian, English, or Jewish men. Thanks!

  • Samantha

    I feel sorry for your non-black partners. What if a man decided to take you on, because he couldn't get what he really wanted – ie – you were a second or a third choice? As if bm are all that great. With that mindset, it's best that you keep waiting for your IBM – or shake off that notion that you must marry a man of your race, rather than seeing men as men and looking for the best fit for you based on NON-superficial criteria – like character, goals, drive, income, dedication to family, etc. That's way more important than his bloody colour. That's why many bw lose out – too much emphasis on what doesn't count for the home stretch.

    • Cecily

      Are you serious? How do you force an attraction to someone? You say you feel sorry for her non-black partners, she should feel sorry for you. How do you "shake off that notion" per se? You just throw yourself onto a man of another race, just so you can have a man? That just adds to the perception of the "desperate black female".

      Oh, I believe you are from Britain. That explains it.

  • Obsessed?…Nah

    As a young black women I can fully say I have NEVER been "obsessed" with white men. I go to a Big Ten university where minorities COMBINED(that's asians, blacks, latinos etc) make up only 9% of the student body so I'm surrounded by white men however I have never seeked out one or wanted to be with one. Not because their white(I think some white guys are hot) but because I just haven't met one I wanted. Plus a lot of them are racist and the ones that do want to be with black women majority of the time it's to "experiment". I'm no man's "experiment" so I've just been very careful with the white guys(guys in general) I talk to on campus.
    I have no problem with interracial dating but I do have a problem with how people hype interracial dating. What is SO fantastic about it? NOTHING. I think its racist to glamorize interracial dating like this article is. White men are not the answer to all of black women's problems! Stop romanticizing white men because they are not perfect. If you honestly think that white men are lining up to wife black women up you are mistaking!

  • Erica

    I am a black woman whose is PHYSICALLY attracted to white men. I love blond hair and I love blue eyes and a chiseled face on a well bodied white guy. BUT they have to have some kind of street knowledge. I know a few white guys who fit this discription. But I have never dated a white guy. I personally think that white guys want to date more black women but they are scared o for a number of reasons. And also that black women want to date other races, but we are not around other races in a social setting enough to meet them well enough to date them. There are a number of factors that play into all of this, but this I know: If you take great care of yourself and don't let your standards go, you will get what you want in a mate no matter what their race is.

    • Amber




  • madness!

    Anyone who needs proof that the black woman has completely lost her mind when it comes to white men need only visit ghettogaggers.com

  • stop the self-hate!

    The comments on this thread prove that many black women ARE obsessed with white men. White men "date" black women for sex. When it is time for marriage 99 percent will choose a Becky. Black women look at the rare exceptions and conclude that every white man, deep down, wants a black wife. This is self-delusion of the highest order. A microscopic fraction of one percent of white men will walk down the aisle with a sister. This is not an emotional statement but a statistical fact. Stop the white man worship!

    • These are some interesting statistics. Since you are so confident of those statistical values, surely you have some scientific sources as studies which you can cite?

      • kelly igbo

        You can look at the census. Blacks have been in the UK since the 1940's, but the British population is over 92% white. What does that tell you about white on white love? 50% of afro carribean men are with white women – yet they only make less than 1% of the uk population. Now do you get it?

      • kelly igbo

        Whites date out he least, but when they do, they marry Asian women the most and black women the least. There are more black women in the western world than Asian women, not to mention black women were in the west 1st. How dis asian women overtake them in marriage – not quick sex, actual marriage?

    • Very true. But you forgot to keep in mind that Black women make up about 5% of the nation while White people make up 50% of the US. So really only a very small fraction of them would be needed to marry all black women anyway. Besides we don't need the masses of White men to be attracted to us. The same way we don't need the masses of Black, Asian, or Latino men to be into us. If a women is looking for a monogamous marriage she only needs to attract one person. So I never see the point of bringing up that the majority of certain men wouldn't be into black women. We only need to fall in love with one person. Well ideally anyway.

  • real

    Where are all the articles written in GQ and Maxim encouraging white men to have SERIOUS relationships with black women? This nonsense has got to stop. In 2009, only 1 in 300 white men who got married chose a black wife. 1 in 300! That same year 87 percent of black men who married chose a black wife. This is according to the NY Times article " Who is Marrying Whom." Can we please let the facts in? I know those black women who want a white man will not be discouraged by ANYTHING. They have an obsession and there is nothing anyone can do about it.

  • Jamie Roberts

    I just wanted to say how much I admire the word, "rain-beau." Brilliant. 🙂

  • KeeKee

    I AGREE. But I still feel this way and I'm not gonna change.

    There is good and bad in all races. Yes. And I AM SICK to death of the increasing number of brothers who treat black women like crap and white women like queens. YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!

    • G-LOVE

      Yet you settle for this, why? Oh I forget, YOU would never date white.

    • Michelle

      I respect your honesty. Everyone has their preferences and I don't think it's racist that you won't share your body with a person who physically disgusts you.
      I've been with black men as well as white ones (and even an asian guy) and it's all the same in the dark BUT I don't feel that you or anyone else is required to feel the same way so good for you for accepting who you are and admitting how you see things even when you knew people would bash you for it.

    • Amber


  • Bethany


  • Bethany

    I see your point, but in it you are assuming that most Black American women have the time/means/desire to travel all the way to Africa just to find a husband. There are perfectly wonderful American men of all colors. It's rather narrow-minded (ok – blatently racist) to assume that a shared melanin content = shared experiences, likes, values, and goals.

    • Porfirio

      I continue to be dumbfounded at the numbers of Black females that are either (a) oblivious to a mentally deranged white males mental condition or (b) don't care e.g. famous cases Jim Jones, Strom Thurmon, etc. I am not necessarily saying this is your case but one would have to admit that Black females tend to be way more "tolerant" of white guys than their darker counterparts. Also, I seem to notice that Black females that take up with white guys generally seem to have been around the block a lot more than usual. It seems that you are confusing the term "racist". But I guess this would suit your purposes (have to make the white guy as comfortable as possible, yes?)


    • pfft…

      Who said anything about shared skin color equals shared experience. I see black women in the IR arena discussing their foreign born mates who are white all the time. Are you telling me the black american woman has something in common with the white born Swede, French, Italian? GTFOH with that. What happened to learning and sharing with one another or does that stop at the American border to resurface only when the man interested is white?

    • B-Rock

      Only a " True American" thinks that their "shared experiences, likes, values and goals" or different from the rest of the world. Get a book, documentary and a passport please. Your rather narrow-minded.

  • lori

    when we are out, we sometimes get dirty looks from black men mostly. one was with a white woman. some seem to think it’s alright for them to date white, but black women aren’t supposed to. people should really mind their own business.

    • Amber


  • lori

    my man is italian and we get along great. we meant at a social affair and exchanged numbers. there is mutual respect and love for one another. i don’t care what color a person is.

    • Amber


  • Templeton Beck Jr

    InnocentTruthIsBack dropped knowledge again. Well said my brother on all points. All this media created hysteria has done nothing but turn us against one another, just look at how combative and ugly women are towards us on this board. We can't even talk to each other in a sensible fashion, because I'm a no good, don't take care of my kids, don't want to work, un-educated ,white woman loving fool, let the media tell it. Here is a shock, I'm none of that. Here is a bigger shock, there are more of us in world than you think, you know brothers who are the opposite what they say all black men are,. Please adjust your statements from saying black men are no good or don't won't to date black women, to the black men you have dated or know are no good or dont want to, other races can and will apply this label to all of us if you don't. The last thing we need as a race of people are more negative stereotypes, I think we as black men and women have enough already.

    • Denise

      Actually, it was not well said on all points, at all. But, the points you make here are valid-especially the ones about reinforcing negative sterotypes.

  • Templeton Beck Jr

    Knowledge has been dropped by this brother yet again, well said my brother on all points. All this media created histeria has done nothing but turn us against one another, just look at how combative and ugly women are towards us on this board. We can't even talk to each other in a sensible fashion, because I'm a no good, don't take care of my kids, don't want to work, un-educated ,white woman loving fool, let the media tell it. Here is a shock, I'm none of that. Here is a bigger shock, there are more of us in world than you think, you know brothers who are the opposite what they say all black men are,. Please adjust your statements from saying black men are no good or don't won't to date black women, to the black men you have dated or know are no good or dont want to, other races can and will apply this label to all of us if you don't. The last thing we need as a race of people are more negative stereotypes, I think we as black men and women have enough already.

  • Native American

    @Janie, same here I also dated an italian man and many do love dating black woman. He and I were good friends prior to dating and I have to admit there was instant attraction for the both of us. What was more interesting is we were surrounded by black males who never paid me any attention but the white guys were falling all over themselves to date me (we were in college together). Personally speaking I've know problem dating any race since I'm of different races, Native American, Black, European mix. People are people just except people as individuals and lets celebrate our differences.

    • Amber






  • Anon

    Hmmm, makes u wonder why an Asian woman would click on a link with a title that reads, Why Black Women are obsessed with White Men. What's wrong Cindy? Afraid there might be competition in the future? All you diehard black men only women had better wake up and smell the same coffee Cindy, Maria and Ming Lee are smelling! White men bring benefits in greater numbers than any other group of men on this earth can bring. Stop being so romantically myopic and recognize a man when you see one.

    • Shariese Hurd

      I don't agree they bring greater numbers, but they are the next biggest group of men in the country. Picking a man just because he is white will more than likely in the same disaster that brothers have when they just get any white woman. If you want to increase the number in the dating pool than you should include good men of any race including brother. You are more likely to be married to a brother. But we have options as well.

  • chely

    I am in an interracial relationship I saw passed the color of his skin .I didn't go looking for someone of a diffrent it just happened and glad it did he is the love of my life and i been married for 10 years…

  • Avablue3

    they are more ATTENTIVE…the back ground of the photo looks european..i bet the guy is european

  • Darkesthourglass

    On a lighter note: How many sistas that DO date/marry white guys do you think sport the hair don’ts like the ones mentioned in the other thread? http://madamenoire.com/57378/hairdos-that-are-don
    Maybe the bad lacefronts but I don’t know about the rest of that mess.

    • Amber





  • Darkesthourglass

    Since when do black women show off their white men like kings? What are they suppose to do? Hide behind them, walk a foot ahead/behind him like she doesn’t know the man? If anything, I notice that sistas seem happier, relaxed and calmer with their white boyfriends/husbands regardless of whether he looks like Jason Alexandar or Brad Pitt. He gotta be doing something right. Right? People date who you want. Live your life and don’t worry about the naysayers.


    AMEN!! My man is from Ghana and I love him to death!! Well said!!

  • BrownFavorite

    This site is really starting to become a joke. These articles are about perpetuating the divide between black men and black women all in an attempt to maintain white domination. To bad, because the Census just revealed that white babies under 2 years old are now in the minority. But back to the issue at hand, like a commenter said earlier, until white men start writing articles about their mutual "obsession" of black women this is all a bunch of BS. Here are the facts that LaShaun (a former writer for the NY POST…need we say more) left out in her write up…

    1. Most White men don't want to date black women because they don't want to have a black child (ie:Obama, Halle Berry, Lenny Kravits)

    2. In spite of good credit and access to the world of white privilege, most black women find white guys corny and not so attractive for the most part lacking style and swagger that they come to expect in a partner. White males simply aren't as attractive to black women who will always prefer brothers as their top choice.

    3. Many white men have a bit of fear and apprehension towards black women due to the stereo types of sisters being loud and quarrelsome and simply aren't willing to test the waters.

    4. Black women are and always will be more loyal to the black community which will over ride her desire to "JUMP SHIP".

    5. The majority of white men still subscribe to the Euro-centric vision of beauty and simply don't see the beauty in black women. They still think skin without color, and hair and eyes without pigment is the zenith of beauty.

    Please don't believe the hype. This article is BS and is a reflection of the type of divisive articles that this site is becoming known for.

    • Tpe

      what you said might have been true back in the 90's but as a black woman I can tell you that this is no longer true.I don't even think for the majority of black women.

      Many black women don't like black men at all.

      • pfft

        Interesting. Hell, where are the articles on whites loving blacks male or female in general. Like I said earlier, some of us spend way too much time getting excited over white people. I am not saying don't date them, but there's something just crazy about it all. This coming from an IR dater currently engaged to a black man. Also, I think people in general tend to date/marry what they are familiar with. I wonder if Asians and other groups waste time and space in their mags and blogs talking about whites and dating them as some blacks do? Oh well.

      • Amber




    • Denise

      who still uses the word corny?

    • Shariese Hurd

      Maybe black women prefer black men, but if the choice is no man or dating outside some women are going to date outside. Alot of white men and women won't date outside, just like black men and women. But there are some that will. There just are more single black women because lack of black men who aren't availible in the penal system and the number of deaths. And alot outside the race. Even if you prefer black men than you might prefer not to be single. And corny isn't so bad as not having a job or other issues.

    • Amber



  • Just a Point

    I understand your statement "rape is rape". But I think the author was referring to the position of slavery in which black women were sex slaves for white men with no control over their bodies and how that legacy has affected black women today. I think that's a little different from being randomly raped by someone. The point was that when white men did it, it WASN'T rape, and there lies the distinction. It was an event that happened, it was the way the system was set up, and nothing was wrong with it. I get what your saying but I just wanted to clarify that point lol.

  • InnocentBullGoBack

    I'm sorry but black men by and large worship white women FAR MORE than vice versa so that's an unfair statement. A good number of black men even judge black women by European standards. In fact, black women are usually criticized for not dating outside their race, while the majority of interracial relationships involve black men. Get it right boo!!

    (and if you want people to take you seriously…please don't use Youtube as a reference. Really now?? smdh

    • Cecily

      Where do you all get this crap from? Most black people couple with each other. The only ones making a big deal out of IR are the types who live by media standards.

  • Janine

    Italian men love them some black women! I even had an Italian man tell me that one of the attractions to me was my assertive attitude, knowing what I want. He even said that they were the " Other Brothers ", the ones who can handle our attitude. A very interesting comment indeed.

  • Shesha

    This headline hilarious! We all know black women are obsessed with white women. Like this is something new lol. Who wouldn't be???

  • cheryl

    Dear Readers:
    I think the title was based on what people think about black woman when they date white men. I have heard plenty of times why is she dating a white men. maybe she hates her self, dont like her skin color and other references. I think madam noire. Was just trying to coin the title on what people think when they see this. Sometimes you have to read more into what something is being said. dont be afraid to look at things from a different angle.

  • homie

    I've never been attracted to white men. I'd want a black man because only he could understand how it feels to be black. There really aren't enough men to go around, I'm not into sharing a man, or married so that cuts it down to hardly anything of substance. Sometimes I've felt like damn I'm a smart attractive woman what's the problem? We just out number men. I would date a white man, but most white men think black women are easy.

    • Porfirio

      "I've never been attracted to white men' "I would date a white man" ???? Which is it? Or maybe "date" and "attracted to" don't have to coincide? "enough men to go around" How many is enough???? "what's the problem"? "We" just outnumber men" ??? What's going on here?

      Read the book : Know Thy Self


    • Amber




  • Pfft…

    You know, I have nothing against Ir dating, but when the subject of few available good black men come up, I've always wondered why the first option has been white men, and not black men from other areas of the world? I'm not saying white folks should be out of the question, I'm just wondering why they're always the first option over every other option out there? Just saying.

    • Hmmm

      Thank you!! I'm beginning to think this IR thing is a part of some larger agenda. You'd think finding black men elsewhere would be a simple option but that's not what people want to promote. Interesting…

    • Tpe

      A white man and a black woman,more specifically African American woman,will likely have more in common than a black American woman would with a black man from another country.

      • pfft…

        Any excuse I guess. *shruggs*

    • Bethany

      Is it reasonable to expect every Black woman to pay $5,000 and take 6 months off of work to fly to Africa and hope to meet the man of her dreams simply because she wants a dark-skinned baby? Get real. That is both desperate and silly. Why not exchange numbers with the paler cutie at the end of the bar? I tried for YEARS to date black men. In a nutshell? The educated "good" ones didn't give me a second glance and were chasing white women. So, I started dating men of other races, and happened to marry an educated, attractive, sweet white man. So what? We are in America – a melting pot – with Hispanics (brown) as the growing majority. As the population combines, inevitably we will all be brown. It's time to lift that chip off our collective shoulders and move on.

  • Dave

    This is my first time on this site and the last, what a joke

  • Cookiepuss

    Well said. Thank you!

    • evilin garnett

      precisely, thank you.

  • Pfft…

    Did stats change or something because last I checked, white men were the most likely to date out. In fact, white men Asian women make up a huge segment of the IR population while Black women and Asian men were the least to test the waters. Last why the hell are IR's always boiled down to blacks dating whites with black people. There are other flavors out there ya know. When so much focus is put on white men and women, one can't help but give the side eye. You may say you ALL are not obsessed but the constant rambling about white men and women while ignoring all other demographics of potential suitors says something is simply not right about it all.

  • Black/White

    Why is it that at least once a week there is an article on this site about dating and color? Black men like white women because of this, black women like white men because of that, blah blah blah. Why can't we just have articles about DATING? Why do we always have to make it a race vs race and race vs gender issue?

    And to echo everyone else, the title was BS.

  • InnocentTruth

    First and foremost, this isn't about black men. This is about black women being allegedly obsessed with white men. Like I said, your comment was not about sisters looking for love. It was about black women looking for love from black men. Based on your last comment your relative intentionally ventured out to find affection from a non black man. You cosigned this by stating she went traveled to the right locations to find such. This plays right into my earlier statement that your friend/relative was not looking for love as a whole. More so, she was looking for a relationship from a white male. This is where I say people have a problem. When you begin to intentionally look for mates outside your race then something is wrong with you.

    • Cecily

      Thank you girl. I am not into playing tit-for-tat with black men. I've never felt the need to. These neo-" hanky-heads" know exactly what they are trying to promote. If they want a white man, fine, but don't try and act like everyone should share in the experience. Many of us choose not to. For legit reasons.

  • Tpe

    "While the number of black single mothers has been gradually declining, overall marriages among blacks are decreasing faster'

    so we obviously have less black marriages and less black children being born.I think this is a good thing.

  • Tpe


    'While the number of black single mothers has been gradually declining, overall marriages among blacks are decreasing faster"

    less black marriages and less black babies being born.it is what it is.

  • Tpe


    From Parent Dish:While the number of black single mothers has been gradually declining, overall marriages among blacks are decreasing faster

  • Karimah

    Yeah right, obsessed! Having literally been stepped on by a black man racing to holla at a white girl, I dare a black man to even LOOK like he's got something to say about black women dating outside their race.

    • Amber


  • KikiLis

    To all the people critisizing the title, apparently you were too blind or ignorant to see the quotes around the word "obsessed." Also, an article supporting inter-racial dating under any premises is good in my book. Maybe if black women don't limit themselves to black men they will stop harassing those of us who do choose to date outside of our own race!

    • Shariese Hurd

      I don't know nobody who harrasses you. In fact most of you are trying to speak and get are attention. I saw one at the mall and he stop to pretend like he wasn't with her and tried to speak to me. Your little red wagon hell you got to drag it.

  • bw/wm
  • HeadSmackeroni

    Dating white men for black women shouldn't be any more taboo than a black man dating a white woman – who use to have you koons lynched for looking at them sideways, or when daddy caught you in bed with their daughter 'raping' them.

    • Shariese Hurd

      Or when white women in power made them do things they didn't want to do.

  • Cindy Hyguen

    Too bad the black ladies want white men but we are taking the white men. We take the white men from the white ladies.

    • gabbyt

      Are you hispanic or Asian?

    • Eddie

      Are you Vietnamese? My internist is and he's one of the funniest people in America. Oh, I nearly forgot – keep the jokes
      flowing – i am having the first good laugh today.

    • Shariese Hurd

      no black women are less likely to date outside the race. The question is why you don't want Asian men? We know the stereotypes as to why they want you too. And so do the white women.

    • Amber



  • Ann

    Continuation of comment
    Lastly, some of my comments were not fully based on the sentiments expressed in the article. In response to the caption, black women do not pander to white men since we are amazing, exotic, brilliant, beautiful and tremedously blessed creations of God, so of course any man would want us.

  • Ben

    Black men and Black women need to wake up and get real. Dating white people will not take us any closer to solving the many problems in our community and for some black people interracial dating is just escapism, they are either ashamed to be black or think that a white person will give them a better life.Just look at how black men/white female marriages have the highest divorce rate and how many black women will often return to dating black men after too many bad experiences with white men.Lets not lie to ourselves but if a white person is looking to get with us there is often something not right with them.You rarely see the well educated, middle class whites from good families looking for black partners but it is often the skanky, low morals white women like a Kendra, any Kardashian sister, Coco and the many strippers and groupies that latch onto our sports stars.Or it is white men who have low self esteem and mother issues.We need to face our problems, support each other and start rebuilding our own families.

    • Porfirio

      The Voice of Reason


    • Amber


  • Ann

    Is race to be so major an issue when seeking a mate? I think character should be paramount. To each his/her own. Personally I think one should choose a mate that they love regardless of race.
    Now as regarding the article, these unbalanced/ inaccurate views that the the popular media has perpetuated :
    1.there are not many good/ successful black men 2. Successful black men mainly date/ marry whites or lightskinned black women 3.black women are pandering for white men
    nothing can be more incorrect. When you go around in society and see everyday average folks this is not totally true. Maybe the media highlights movie stars and media persons who may fit these descriptions.
    Further, my opinion is that Asian women or more likely to be with white men ( I may be wrong and stand corrected if this is not so). Could all these stereotypes (sometimes self inflicted which we need to take responsibility for) have been tools used to further dehumanise us and attack our self worth to continue to divide and conquer.

  • Dragonlady73

    Also, I don't care abuot people dating out. My issue is when your preference is for anything outside of what you are. But at the same time–hey, it's you. I love myself and everything abuot me so, there isn't one ounce of self-hatred here. I like PEOPLE. And if you are good to me and good for me (and have shown that) then we are super cool. I have NEVER scrunched my nose up at a black man and non black woman. Shoot, chances are he isn't someone I was attracted to in the beginning. I have notice white girls with black guys and they look to see if I will "react". Again, it's you. I got my man, you have yours. Keep it moving. But it does appear that it is mostly black men shoving in black women's faces lately their disgust with us and how we could never compare to non black women. That puzzles me, but to each his/her own

  • Dragonlady73

    I have to say, that I am open to any race, but my preference is a beautiful dark skin black man. I have date "out" before and it wasn't a bad experience. It wasn't out of curiosity or any of that. We were friends and it turned nto more. Now, I would be hesitant to marry "out" because most non-black races are not as accepting of IR relationships as blacks (well, in my family anyhow). And even if he went against his family for me, I wouldn't want that on my head–that he cut himself off from his family because they were disrespectful of me and our relationship.

  • chaka1

    AMEN!!! You said everything I was thinking.

  • really

    i did not see it the way you say you saw it

  • InnocentTruthIsBack

    I think you may be confused. If a black celebrity is photographed with a white woman that is not considered flaunting. More so, it is the media who is promoting those images. On average, regular black men who date white women avoid black commercial establishments. Having dated numerous non black women I usually avoid taking them to black areas. I'm more comfortable taking them to non black areas because the atmosphere is positive and drama free. Each time I took a non black girl into a black area they all asked the same question: "Why are women rolling their eyes at me?". Personally, I really never noticed it until it became over obvious that black females, usually older ones, didn't like seeing me with a white or Asian woman.

    • gabbyt

      We all know they thrive on thinking that they are God's gift to the black man, and then ask "why are they looking at me that way," so they can feel like they are so much better than the black woman cause she is with a black man, and get sympathy from you as if she is being victimized by black women cause she is with a black man so you protect her by carrying her around a climate with white people who then roll their eyes at you.

  • InnocentTruthIsBack

    I don't have a problem with anything. I judge the issue from a logical perspective. You said a woman needs to travel to the right place to find a white man. In response, I find someone that intentionally seeks out a person from another race has problems. This isn't a case where she happens to meet a man who happens to be white. Your talking about a woman who intentionally sought out a white man. Women who do this have problems with self hate. How can a woman who is truly seeking out love intentionally limit her options to one race? Answer: She isn't really looking for love. She is looking for white love. You need to read what your saying.

    • gabbyt

      She wasn't looking for just "White anything" she was looking for a husband, prayed for one, and it happened to be a white man.

      • gabbyt

        You are the one who said "you can find what you are looking for." Isn't that what you commented? My sister in law and her husband were looking for someone, they found each other and they got married. Nothing wrong with that.

        • InnocentTruthIsBack

          I did say you can find what you are looking for. In response you wrote " If you look in the right places you'll find that interracial soul mate and if you choose right, yeah, you will be what that white man is looking for".

          Does your comment not insinuate that she was looking for a white man? You're promoting interracial love over love in general.

  • eshowoman

    WTF???? With the current disproportionate rate in out-marriage by gender, it seems that white women are obsessed with black men!

    • Pfft…

      Only the ones who know they can't adequately compete within their own racial demographics.

  • Hyacinth

    I am twenty three and I will marry whomever I damn well please and if folks don't like it they can lump it. I want a man who shares the same values, interests and morals that I do and I don't care what color he is! I have one life to live and I am not about to let strangers dictate to me about how to go about it.

    • Porfirio

      Just don't have a white trick baby


  • Kayla

    The difference is black men and men in general don't have as high standards, when it comes to woman. That is why you will see a black man with an average-looking white girl. When have you ever seen a model-esque type of woman with a black man?? Woman on the other hand are picky, so she doesn't want the fat, bald, macys manager, type person. If she does end up with a white guy he has to be in a very good job,(i.e. engineer,doctor) or a brad pitt, bradley cooper type. Have you ever seen black woman dream about jason alexander from seinfeld. and when you look at real life examples, like tia mowry,or tamara idk which is which. Her husband is gooood looking

    • InnocentTruthIsBack

      You sound like a fool. If black women had such high standards then why are sisters having babies by jail birds? Think about that for a moment.

      Your attempt to paint brothers as willing to take anything is invalid. Because if brothers are willing to take anything, and that woman happens to be black, what does that say about the black woman? Wouldn't that mean she is bottom of the barrel? You paint a picture as if black women have superior standards. But if that was true, they wouldn't reproduce with jail birds or dead beats. Your entire ARGUMENT IS WEAK AND INVALIDATED.

      • InnocentTruthIsBack

        No, I read what you wrote. What you wrote didn't make sense. How can you say a brother will pick a white girl over a sister? Where do you get your information? Gossip sites? Entertainment magazines? Perhaps, personal experience? You don't know every black man to make such a blanket statement. There is a difference between leaving a black woman for another woman, who may happen to be white. And leaving your girlfriend and several months later happen to date a white girl. Women need to make a distinction here. Your man will break up with you in January and stay single til August. As soon as you see him with a white girl you will say "He left me for a white girl". You will fail to acknowledge that he was single for 8 months and dated nobody. I know women think this way because I hear it all the time.

        • Kayla

          Because that's the truth, give or take a few. I know it hurts. But unless I have or can witness overwhelming evidence proving me wrong. Then im sticking to what i said. The reason that this is brought up, and articles are written about it is because there's truth to it…. deal with it

          • InnocentTruth

            What hurts? I'm a man, so men allegedly leaving black women for non black women doesn't bother me. You're taking personal opinions and presenting them as facts. I truly hope you are exempt from jury duty because you take allegations as being facts. That's not rational or healthy.

            That's like me saying all Asian Americans are racists because a few on them have made bad remarks about black people. Because I don't know all Asian Americans I cannot blanket an entire group with this label.

            But whatever.

          • PORFIRIO

            Kayla, I don't want to sound mean but you sound like you're very young and naive. If you insist on maintaining your attitude you are in for a rude awakening. They say a person that continues to do the same thing and get a different result is called a fool. I'm just sayin — It is what it is no?



      • btowne

        You know the old saying, "A hit dog will holler."

  • Afro-disiac

    Oh well, at least y'all didn't bring up that old saw about crossing-over "to get back at Black men."

  • Honestly, I feel that this article was a wasted read. This information number one did not back up its title! Number two was not new and exciting information at all, it was simply an ignorant opinion that failed to transpire into a legitimate statement. I personally have been involved in a committed relationship with a white man (and yes, I am a black woman) for years and I am so far from being obsessed with white men. I love black men!! I love our culture, our beauty and the way we do things. However, as much as I love black men I fell in love with a white man!! Tip! Take this article and burn it and come up with something that can pull us all in without being singled out and then be sure to deliver!

    • Porfirio

      Try telling all that to your white people

  • Bahamas

    Life is too short to stay lonely and if you are lucky enough to find a life partner who loves and respects and wants to marry you go for it. You can not and should not live your life based on the opinions of other people. People will always find something to criticize you about regardless of what you do. There are people who would rather see you sad, lonely and not living life to its fullest simply because they aren't doing anything with their own lives and misery loves company.

  • Alice

    Chinese men also date white women at exorbitant rates just not as much as Chinese women do.

    • Golden Silence

      Chinese?! You mean Asian.

    • maggie

      and they make millions of each other all the time, so chinese men dating white women don't cut into their numbers. the population of China is about 1 billion. Chinese people are so many that the government has tried to enforce the '1 child per couple' rule.

    • Shariese Hurd

      Not true look at the stats.

    • Amber


  • Jennie

    The title is incorrect because it suggests a trend of Black women obsessing over White men. A few YouTube fools do not speak for the majority of Black women.
    Most Black women dream of the chocolate groom standing next to the chocolate bride on the wedding cake. If they happen to fall for a White guy, it is usually a surprise – not the result of an obsessive pursuit.

    • JG1

      The title isn't "incorrect" – she stated the title that way on purpose…to get you to read the story. The title was sarcasm.
      But you are right…most Black women are attracted to Black men. But we're realizing that we need to force ourselves to widen our view if we want a chance of love in our lives.

      • Cecily

        I'm married to a black man because I prefer black men. I couldn't force an attraction to white men because I don't find them attractive. Some women just can't choose the right man; black, white or whatever,so "expanding" won't do them a bit a' good.

    • jess2248

      Don't you just love how they take the character of a few black women and apply it to all of us? SMH! No one ever said we were all smart and make good choices, but the only one I am "obsessing" over (if you want to call it that, lol) is my husband, who snoring rather loudly next to me…..and yes, he is a brotha!

      • Amber


  • San Francisco.

    Asian women date outside of their race the most. They did a poll a few years ago where even in India the women in that country prefer European men over their own. The same with Chinese and Japanese women but Filipino women take the cake when it comes to dating white guys. They want white husbands and the white man is given top billing with Filipino women if he has blue eyes and blond hair.

    • Juest Me

      Meaning, they take what they can get to move up? What do you mean when you say that?

  • KeeKee

    Black men are the ones who are obsessed…….with white women. I mean come oooon! Isnt that obvious.

    • gfgf

      you're a stupid racist. Curl up and die.

      • Wow…

        She's not racist. It's the truth. I don't understand why her concept is racist. I mean black men judge black women by European standards and they make up the majority of interracial couples!! Hello??

        • G-Love

          Read her previous comments. I have no sympathy for whatever way she is treated because closemindedness only breeds and attracts closemindedness.

          • jojojo

            no white women are obsessed with black men always was and will yall need to get your hoes foreal and now they act black WTF??

  • thatonegirl

    I'm sorry Madame Noire I don't know any black woman that's obsessed with white men and I'm a 23 year old grad student and have come across every type of black woman.

    • Billy D

      Must be one of those online universities to be a grad student and make such a blanket statement

      • Amen……I hope she stays in grad school an extra year and learns some sense! At 23 she's met every "type of Black woman"????? How in the heck???? Baaaaaaahahahahahahaaaa! These young ones crack me up!!!

    • Ryan

      Must be an HBCU, My wife is black and yes, she's obessed.

  • Guest

    Really?? Because all I see are black men who think they've "made it" because they have white women on their arms…or even a woman that just "looks white": Morgan Freeman, Tiki Barber, Ice T, most of the NFL & NBA…

    Worshipping white men like they were "God himself"?! Oh please!

    • Freddie

      Rich black women do the same so stop it.

  • There was a typo in the title, it should have read "Why Black Men are obsessed with Non- Black Women." I would love to read that article! LOL

    • Juest Me

      … Or why WHITE men are OBSESSED with BLACK women. They are.

  • KeeKee

    That's sad and stupid of these women worshipping white men. And the same goes for black men doing the same over white women.

    Maaan some black folks love their master more then they love each other and themselves.

    • Amber


    • Amber


  • KeeKee

    I cant and wont see myself with a white man. I cant sleep with the enemy and I wont. The thought of brushing up against pink and white skin makes me sick.

    • White?Black?

      What a racist comment…how can a person desire equality and at the same time perpetuate the discrimination between races?

    • Puzzled

      You are a sad racist.

    • Avablue3

      pink weiner yuck!!!

      • KeeKee

        Lol. That's right. A pink weiner, YUCK!

        And my comment is just gonna have to be racist because I meant what I said.

    • Bethany

      You're an idiot.

      • myke

        kill da white mon !!!

    • JRA

      Wow…sleep with the enemy? It is ignorance like this that help perpetuate rasicm.

    • michelle

      your just a racisit biotch i really dont; a white man would wanna rub against your narrow minded azz.

    • Matt

      I'm 34 years old and didn't live through the Civil Rights Movement. I had ancestors who died fighting for the North in the Civil War. Why are "ALL" white men the enemy. The biggest discrimination in this country right now is socioeconomic, not race.

    • OtisT

      …. and yet you'd be the FIRST ONE IN LINE WAGGING YOUR FINGER AND SCREECHING "RACIST!!!" if you EVER saw a white man (or woman) make the comment "I can't sleep with the ENEMY…the thought of brushing up against brown and black skin makes me sick."

      Gee… and you blame white people for getting sick and tired of being the ones accused of being racist all the time? If anyone ever discriminates against your ignorant ass, you've got it coming. (Not for being black, of course… for just being an ignorant racist beeyotch.)

    • White Unicorn

      Once you have gone white, you know you are right!

    • Merly

      Sleep with the enemy? What is this the 1700s? That statement was exceptionally racist. Congrats on being one of the few people in the world that are still holding the world back from moving passed stupidness like this. You're the type of disgusting individual that stares down my WHITE boyfriend and I while eating lunch in public.

      • Amber


      • Amber


    • Maddness

    • Ustink

      You are a racist.

    • Amber


    • Amber


  • KeeKee

    OBSESSED?…with WHITE MEN?!!? …….hahahhahahahahahahahaha! …NOT THIS BLACK WOMAN!!

    • Amber



  • Zara

    Asian men date outside there race the least, not white men.

  • Miss_Taken

    I agree with the rest of the commentors, your title is in poor taste. I think you are looking to gain the readers’ attention, even at the expense of your “sisters”…

    Anyway, I think a better article would be “Why are black women holding on to the black love dream” I for one have never dated outside my race, I don’t think I’m limiting myself at all because I know many attractive, successful, black men who also like black women. I don’t have an issue with interracial dating (I’m the product of an interracial relationship) but it is exhausting and often offensive when the media, through articles like this, television shows and commercials and the handful of insecure, self-hating black men feel it necessary to scream it from the rooftops their disgust with the women who look like their own mothers, sisters, grandmothers, etc. I think that issue lies in the black men in which I described because they are so insecure with their status as a man when up against white men, that they, without hesitation throw us under the bus. Its even more upsetting because based on these images, women of other races have assumed a false sense of superior beauty and desirability than us. Then, you have men of other races, such as Dr. Kawanaza, who take interest in this issue that they ignorantly add fuel to the fire.

    The moral of the story is that love is an individual journey and no one should feel as if they have to remain in any box.

    • Porfirio

      HOLD UP! GET IT RIGHT! Don't defame the dead – Emmit Till was not coming on to a white woman, he was an 11 yr old black boy that stuttered and his mother taught him to whistle to overcome his tendency to stutter! How sad that an ignorant Black female is willing to sacrifice an 11 yr old Black boys memory. Second, when you place "black men … status as a man … up against white men" do you realize that you are condemning every dead generation of Black men – even those whose blood flows in your own veins???? Running to a white man, for you is the equivalent of "Stockholm Syndrome" (google if you don't know). Third, distinguish between "love" , f – around and committment; marriage is a committment among /between FAMILIES (changes the wholes scenario doesn't it). Fourth, women of other nationalities can see how strong a noble Black man must be just to maintain in your racist "white man's world". Consequence – they find it extremely appealing. Trust me I know. Fifth, a Black female does not need excuses or to slam a Black man if she wants to "date out" she has that right, so why the hating??? (see Strom Thurman). I could go on but I think you get the point. Hopefully other readers get a broader perspective than is usually expressed on such public forums.


      • Brodie

        A black man killed Malcolm X and Emmett was 14.

    • Ryab

      How can someone claim to have never dated outside of their race, then proclaim to be bi-racial ?

  • I Agree

    People, back off the title. Titles inflame attentions and interest. Job well done.
    Great article.

  • Helena

    Go to blackgirlsrockit.com to learn the truth about the dating situation between black women and white men. It is on the rise because so many black men have chosen to date outside of their race. Now many black women, especially educated women who travel the world, are looking outside of the box for a life partner.

  • Paige

    I have to agree with Jessica Porter on this one. The title of this article was very offensive, and I almost didn’t stop by to read it. This site is suppose to encourage and uplift black women. People do not read sarcasm well and often end up misinterpreting what is meant to be said. I usually like this sites article but lately you all have been becoming more and more offensive.

  • RainbowDated

    I love how she refers to the black men as a “small pool”. I mean, come on right. It makes perfect sense. You are refered to as”the minority”. Just look at your voters card. It’s right there. Until black men realize how beautiful, strong, and deserving black women are, we are look for “majority”, and better things -tee

    • InnocentTruthIsBack

      Looking and finding are to different things. Plus, you can find what you are looking for. But the question remains, are you what that person is looking for?

  • I'm really starting to resent these oversimplified articles "encouraging", "advocating", "cajoling", black women into dating white men. Like its our choice alone. Like all we have to do is just change our minds and live happily ever after. No where in any of these articles is the "voice of the white man" just dying to date black women represented.

    I really don't understand why it is assumed that black women need to do all of the "heavy lifting" when it comes to the pursuit or in the success of interracial relationships. These types of relationships only happen when both groups find each other desirable. If you're going to offer up interracial relationships as a "solution", then there needs to be just as much discussion about why non-black males find (or don't find) black women as desirable partners, and what can be done to even the playing field so that black women can find just as much success as black males in these types of relationships.

    • amsng

      now THAT'S an article idea!

      • Unknow

        @Sun, AMAN, preach!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Tpe

      there are sites that white and non black men have dedicated to black women where they express their like for black women.

      I feel your comment was ignorant because apparently you are not aware that there are non black men expressly stating their desire for black women and also discussing the barriers that keeps white and non black men from approaching black women.It is simply not true that black women are alone in doing a bunch of heavy lifting trying to get with non black men.

      • kelly

        What sites are they? Loser. You are obsessed. What sites are white men on where they express their love for black women? I read the Huffington Post and I have not seen any of that. Delusional is what you are.

        • Reese

          Afroromance was a site created by a white man who wanted to date black women and couldn't approach them on other sites. The have others like blackfemalescandanavianmarriage. Not all white men ofcourse, but alot of us are approached everyday by different races. I have always been approached by more non black than blacks. And white and black men are not the only men in the planet.

          But most black people are going to find love with other black people.

          • Notme

             lolz no it wasnt scrub, it was in fact made by 2 black men, it was even featured on the monique show

        • Jbjayone1

          interracialswirl is one

          • RightisOnlyrightforyou

            Interracialswirl is comprised of black women dodo. Black women who are all-but crawling around and praying to God when a bw gets used for a while by whites, while throwing vigils anytime a celebrity or a any bw for that matter loses the white she once nabbed. Any whiteboy will do to you guys. The same presentation by a bm and wm, you all will take the white 98 percent of the time. BM compliments and professes of love and adoration dont mean skip to you people. You black women are the worst of latinas and asians. They don’t come close to you all and that pesky self hatred.

            • lilian

              continue hating on black women or envious of black women marriage and love success u will die if u don’t take time. fool

            • guest

              Very true. These women are lowest scum of the earth. They are the same types to end up on ghetto gagging websites.

              • Transbutter

                Like yourself I see.

                • guest

                  Why don’t you go and fight for your black daughter being tossed around in a class room like rag doll by your white man. You know that very well that could have been you at that age. Or, this turns you on more?

                  • Transbutter

                    So what exactly does Shakara being thrown across the room by a police officer have to do with you stating that black women are the lowest scum of the earth and how they supposedly end up on as you put it “ghetto gagging websites?

                    So my question to you is why exactly are you posting on mademenoire if you have nothing but hate and disdain for black women?

                    • guest

                      I never said “black women” are the lowest scum of the earth. You are building a straw man argument. I qualify my statement by saying “these women” referring to s specific set of women with a certain common mentality. also, it was in agreement with the type of women the poster described.

                      Learn to read with comprehension before you start attacking people on the internet. However, with reference to the young lady being thrown across the room, i was merely pointing out to you that it is a more worthy cause to fight for than fighting for the rights to bed the men who are bent on destroying your sons and daughters.

                      Have a good day.

                    • Transbutter

                      On this site referring to “these women” its in reference to black women. I comprehend very well but I don’t think you do. I was never arguing about sleeping with white men which is why I think your comprehension skills are rusty. My issue is what what you posted about black women who do sleep with white men. Its not your business and furthermore why do you care? Most importantly why are “these women” perceived as the lowest scum of the earth because they’re sleeping with white men. Furthermore you don’t know anything about me. You know nothing about what I fight for in my life.

                      You reference the “young lady” who attends Spring Valley High school who by the way has a name, its “Shakara,” who has nothing to do with this article. Only to turn around call black women who sleep with white the lowest scum of the earth.

                      However you never answered my question as to why you’re posting on madamenoire but yet you have hateful disdain for black women. Yes, you do.

            • Transbutter

              Wow I cringed when I read this but not so much for the message because its laughable but because of the grammatical errors and sentence structure. I I don’t understand how we have education at our disposal and people still won’t take advantage of this.

        • Jjlow

          You read the Huffington Post?!  That eplains your narrow minded life! HA

    • or rather… until I see more articles "for non-black men" written by "non-black men" in places like GQ, Maxim and FHM, that tell the rest of the story about interracial dating i'll take this topic more seriously. White men are both part of the cause and part of the solution to why black women aren't dating interracially. Until that gets addressed by non-black men… this topic can only go so far….

      • Real Truth

        Personally as a Black Man I would not date out side my race, I’m not interested in committing racism against myself. Beside that it’s just good judgment and common sense and I ‘m far to sharp for the BS..You know  when people see you they question your intelligent when involve in these types of relationships.  But I do find 87% of the white women who I encounter on a daily basis as having pleasing and amazingly attractive personalities and other traits. As oppose to  97%  of  black women who almost always present a derogatory disposition. And it’s no secret everyone knows it. So the other 3% is extremely difficult for a Black Man to find peace in. As far as those White Men who are in a relationship with Black Women I commend you.  If I was a White Man there is absolutely no way I would date a Black Women, I mean  it’s just too many remarkable white women out there. BLACK WOMEN…..PLEASE….WE HAVE HEARD YOU….SOCIETY HAS HAD ENOUGH DROP THE  (ABS) ANGRY BLACK WOMEN SYNDROME, if so  you’ll immediately discover  an explosion of happiness and success…. stop blocking this from entering your life which you richly deserve, although no one owes you anything because you’re black and upsset. 

        • Quietgirlw

          Hey There Real Truth.  I want to tell about me experience as a nice, loving, caring, Black Woman.   Black Men don’t want women like us.  I don’t know if it due to a lack of trust or what, but when I meet a brotha and show him love and support, I get disrespect, and I end up getting punished for those other Black Women you say have ABS.  Why is that?  Brothas refuse to see me as anything more than a resource they can use to get ahead- they want my advise, my cooking, my business sense, my body in a derogatory way, they want me to make them over, stand them up, but then they tell me I am not good enough or they accuse me of being just as bad as the bad girls they pursue all the time.  There really are genuinely warm, sweet, caring, Black Women out here who are attractive, independent, s@xy, considerate, but Black Men dog us and do not appreciate who we are. Will that ever change?  Right now it is the the White Man that is building me up while the Black Man is constantly tearing me down with undue criticism, sefishness, misdirected anger, abuse, sexual perversions, self-hatred.  I really do want to love the Black Man but he will not give man chance and it HURTS TOO MUCH.  This is not an attack on Black Men, nor you.  How can we get past this craziness and start recognizing the good in all people and LOVING each other for it?  Any suggestions?

          • BlkKnight

            QuietGirlW…first of all…lets be real here….lets stop it with the blind worship of white men…just because some single individual white man….who’s personal history is only made up of what he’s chosen to share with you….becausein reality…white men mistreat white women every single day…I”m sorry but this is a fact….only black women actually believe that all white men are fantastic….just because one comes along and acts like Prince Charming!…And again…really aren’t you just taking your own personal experiences with the individual black men  that you have chose to date and making a big generalization about all of us?…I mean I know plenty of brothas  with black women …who love,cherish,protect and respect them…Black men that are married to or atleast committed to black women…

            Now I’m a college educated black man,married with children to the woman of my dreams…An intelligent,college educated,charming,sexy,funny and very supportive bw…who is the best wife that any man could ever hope for and who is an even better mother to our child!

            Why do black women act as if they’re the only ones who get hurt,used and discarded…black men get screwed over every single day(of “some” course black women couldn’t care less!)by who….that’s right black women…the type  that causes some of us to have mistrust!

            Yet have  black women tell it….you’re all angels from heaven!

            we are all individuals and should be judged as such…what’s with the negative generalizations about bm and the overly positive generalizations of nonblack men….as if they are all Gods gift to woman kind!

            they’re not!

            • gadawgfan

              BlkKnight I am glad you have found such a wonderful woman. I do agree with you that there are pieces of garbage in all races. We both have 2 difference cultures. In my personal opinion no one culture is better or greater than the other. What is this blind worship? She said she has a wm and you are just putting the idea down. So have you told your wife every single thing that has happened to you or have you not done the same thing and told her only what you want her to know. I am just saying that for any wm that actively wants a bw will have to face all kinds of different and challenging problems.Trust me I know. I just hate this attitude that we are wrong because we choose something different. I have experienced this from both races. I am just saying you don’t have to instantly put the wm down and then starting talking about different brothers that are good. You talk about a wm coming along like prince charming but hopefully that is what your wife thought about you. In my personal experience I found that bw are more grateful to be treated like queens than ww. The ww I would date seemed just to expect it like they were just so special. Don’t get me wrong I am not saying all bm are bad and treat women like crap. My best friend is black and I have so much respect for him because he is such a great father to 3 kids and has taken in 2 of his sisters children. Seeing the way he gets out and works to provide for his family has challenged me to be a better husband and father. I wish there were more people like him in all races I just wish more people of all races would treat each other better. People love who they love. best of luck to you and your family

          • Your “plea” sounds like a white guy writing what he wishes a “black woman” felt.  LMAO. RealTruth’s comments are stupid enough.

        • Oben

          Your one toxic individual!!!!!

        • EN

          I’m an angry Black woman when brothers aren’t “sharp” enough to spell check. 

          • Transbutter

            ME TOO!! LOL It drives me up the wall.

        • la diosa de chocolate

          *face palm* Wow…another confused idiot!

        • Iagree

          But don’t you get it?? Black women treat white men and other men far more respectfully AND AFFECTIONATELY than they ever have will treat black man. And it’s clearly nothing to do with how white en treat them…not even HALF the time is this the catalyst. White men being white is respectful treatment to her enough (even if they white is almost literally crapping into her mouth for fun). Black women are sins before God.

          • lilian

            and black men are thugs be for god

        • Transbutter

          Most black women are happy and successful….what are you talking about? Another unintelligent and senseless rant. You attract what you are. So if you attract women with a “derogatory disposition” (I’m not sure if those words should even go together lol) than I think you need to look into the mirror because everything ends and begins with you, sir.

    • @TPE "how much of the rest of the story do you need?"lol

      What the HELL kind of question is that? Apparently I need to go to these "other places" your talking about. You and your low-rent expectations can stay here and read this tripe.

    • kelly

      Aside from Black women run IR blogs, where are the articles written to teach white men how to date black women?

    • Tpe

      Sunsetandjive it was not my fault that you didn't state what you meant clearly.You said something very different in your original post than you are saying now.

      I agree that the state of journalism is a mess but you claimed white mens voices were missing in all this and I'm saying no it isn't.They are speaking out.

      You tried to claim that white men were not thinking about black women and were not having these conversations in their spaces but that is untrue.Now you take offense and result to name calling.That's your problem not mine.

      • You white guys are pathetic.  Posing as black women who seek white men. Loser.

    • kelly

      Where are the articles? GQ is the most read male mag in the world. It speaks for white men.

      You are more obsessed with white men, than they are with your ghetto arse.

    • Shariese Hurd

      I get approached by more non blacks than blacks. Most black women I know do and hold on waiting and praying for a good brother. You do need to look at different sites. There is a website a white man made looking for black women Afroromance.com, http://interracialloveandspicebysara.blogspot.com… black scandinival websites.

      In China and other countries in Asia they are going to Africa for whites. Will all white men want you no. But there are some of different races that will. I know from first hand experience and with the people around me. We can compete with other women. We don't seem to believe so even when it comes to competing for black men.

    • Guest

      Your voice is the voice of truth. Interracial dating can not be one sided.

    • Guy

      Sunset, I am a white man and I find black women exceptionally attractive, just as I do white women, red women, yellow women (wow, that color thing really starts to sound offensive the more one uses it!), etc. I go for beauty and a pleasant demeanor, probably like most men. The color of a person’s skin means little to me, but their character means much. All that said, damn, black women are exquisite!

      • guest

        You are a black woman posing as a white man…lol. Why is it only on articles like these, the so-called “white men” profess his affection for black women?? In any other sphere, the names and derogatory terms used to describe black women, I am ashamed to repeat.

        Black women need awareness, and a certain awareness they won’t get from article like these. Your pathologies are known and are being used against you. You are being used to destroy the black family. A man, white, brown, yellow, red or black will sex anything. Why should you feel special if a man wants to sleep with you? Isn’t that what he’s supposed to do?

        Statistics show that you are mostly wanted by black men, stop lowering yourselves and chasing men who don’t want you, have some pride. If some of your swirling sisters would speak the truth, many are suffering in their swirl relationship, but just putting up face not to show they have made a bad decision.

    • bishop

      Exactly! Where are the articles written by white men professing their love for black women! I for sure rarely, if at all, come across any. Black women need to stop fooling themselves and stop limiting themselves to white men if they are going to date outside of their race.

    • Barry Vann

      I am a white man who has dated a couple of black girls and loved one dearly. I wish I knew more. I happen to live in a place where there are very few black girls. That is sad!

  • Bridget

    I agree with, Jessica. The article doesn’t even address the term obsession until the last couple paragraphs. Very confusing based on the true content

  • Hotfox220

    I agrees w/ Jessica Porter! LaShaun Williams Your Editor should be slapped for letting this title get a pass! Are you obsessed With white men? then title should say "Why LaShaun Williams is Obsessed with White Men"

    • Cheers

      lol lol EXACTLY, hotfox!!! Recently I've read so many rants about black women dating outside their race: why isnt that possible without being "obsessed"? Miss Williams got a problem with that….

    • Angie

      Why does someone always have to get "SLAPPED", take a chill pill and stop taking things so personal. SMH

  • Jessica Porter

    Your title contradicts what you wrote. I know that you want a title that grabs people's attention, but this title might turn people off before they even read what you have to say. Especially black women that are in no way obsessed with white men. I know your stance is that black women aren't obsessed, so why use this title?

    • Tpe

      I just wanted to add this comment here Jessica,it is not directed to you personally so don't mind me.
      "While the number of black single mothers has been gradually declining, overall marriages among blacks are decreasing faster"

      • Msichalenab1219

        ALL BLACK WOMEN DONT HAVE KIDS this is racist of u to

      • Transbutter


    • Jamie Roberts

      The word "obsessed is in quotation marks, implying the author thinks the opposite.

    • JG1

      Her title is what we call "Sarcasm". The title was very effective. You read the story. All of us here read her story because the title was so ridiculous and we wanted to see what she could possibly have to say to back it up. She's good.

    • Adam Tolman

      Journalists don't typically write the titles of their articles. Often a specific type of editor is in charge of writing titles, and that could easily be the case here.

      Even if the author wrote the title herself, though, the quotation marks around the word "obsessed" suggest that's it's meant ironically.

    • Not in this country. Because they can't have them. All I ever see is black men with fat white broads.

      • Canaan1

        You must not get out much. Have you ever been to NYC, a sporting event, or a rap show?

    • Peeta

      I’m a Black woman and White men are pretty. I’m def not obsessed with Black men, that’s for sure. They’re not pretty.

      • Transbutter

        Men are masculine and should not be pretty.