We all come from different backgrounds and cultures with differing views, but when it comes to getting in other folks’ business, most of us were probably taught the same thing: mind your own. As a kid, if you ran back and informed the adults every time your older cousins used a bad word, you were told, “Stop telling on everybody all the time! Nobody likes a snitch.” If you asked too many questions about the people next door, your momma asked you: “Why you so damned nosey?” And I’m sure we all grew up learning the concept of “what goes on in our house stays in our house.”
All these early life lessons have spilled over into most of our adulthoods and make it a bit hard for some of us to pry in certain people’s welfare, especially the ones living on our block. So what happens if you find yourself in a situation where you know your neighbor is physically abusing his wife? Black eyes, bruised limbs, sunglasses at night, the sounds of lamps tossing, loud slaps and her body thumping to the ground—all the signs are there.
Yeah, Mr. and Mrs. Smith may seem like the picture perfect couple in public, but behind closed doors, you know it’s a different story.
You feel bad for this woman, yet and still those little voices in your head keep telling you that this is not your battle. You have your own family and your own issues to worry about. If a woman is dumb enough to stay with a man who is so weak that he takes out all his insecurities out on her through the stroke of his fist, then that’s her problem. But this is a serious matter. And no woman deserves to be pummeled on like an old punching bag. So should you tip off the cops? You could make that step, but in most cases, studies (and real life situations) prove that the women involved in these situations are just as mentally perturbed as the so-called “men” whooping on them. Which means, the chances of your neighbor admitting to the abuse and having her husband jailed and barred are slim to none.
But the fights become more frequent, her screams keep getting louder, and not only do you feel sorry for her, but you fear that she may one day lose her life. So do you put your own safety at risk and intervene? You know, ring their doorbell, invite her over for some crumpets and tea, do a little prying and possibly get her the help that she needs? If you’re ’bout that life, you could send your crew of thuggish cousins to Mr. Happy Fists’ door to give him a taste of his own medicine, but would that really solve anything? What about stepping to her cowardice husband and approaching him about his gutless actions yourself? Or you could simply take the easy route and do what you’ve always been taught your whole life: mind your business.
Now it’s time to give us your opinion Mommy Noire readers: what would you do if you knew your neighbor was beating his wife?
